FORUM HOME > TNM Circuits > TNM Circuits
OSW 2008

SolomattGrundyPosted on 07/07/08 at 03:50:39

In case you're wondering what possessed me to revive this, we'll go with Papa Shango. Guarateed to offend in three easy cards or your pizza's free.

OSW 2008 The Pilot 7/5/08

On the ninth day, the gods gave us Snitskrieg versus El Dandy for the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship. In our main event.

Scott Vick vs. the Zombie
We wanted a dead opener to start up this show, but unfortunately, the joker's in the office had a mix up, booking Scott Vick instead of Katie Vick. The Zombie attacks Vick at the bell, trying to eat his brains, he rolls to the floor for the countout and the Zombie is in the ring, because two year old jokes rule!


The Zombie defeated Scott Vick by countout in 0:00:47.
Rating: -*

Semifinals of the Tournament to Declare the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship:
The Heart Throbs vs Jailhouse Love(Nailz and Heidenreich)

The Fourth Reich broke up since the last card over two years ago, with that evil German Alex Wright being deported back to Germania. Heidenreich and Nailz do things to Romeo Roselli that are best left to the imagination before Romeo molests er attacks the referee for the DQ. The Heart Throbs run up as Jailhouse Love is in the finals.

Jailhouse Love (Nailz and Heidenreich) defeated
The Heart Throbs (Romeo Roselli and Antonio Thomas) when Nailz defeated Romeo
by disqualification in 0:02:45.
Rating: -* 1/4

Short Bus Match:
Perry Saturn vs. Eugene

The first ever Short Bus Match in OSW history. See, there's this short yellow school bus on the ramp, and the only way to win is to stuff your opponent in the back of it. After some forbidden technical wrestling, Saturn knocks out Eugene with the Three Handled Moss Covered Family Gredunza and stuffed him in the back of the boss for the win.

Short Bus Match:
Perry Saturn defeated Eugene in 0:08:05.
Rating: ** 3/4

Tito Ortiz versus Hornswoggle

That bitch Ortiz is schooled on in MMA by Hornswoggle, as Horny makes him his personal bitch with the cross armbreaker. Don't mess with the leprechaun.

Hornswoggle made Tito Ortiz submit to cross armbreaker in 0:01:57.
Rating: **

Semifinals in the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Tournament:
The Real Horsemen(Steve McMichael and Paul Roma) vs. The Rock N Roll Express(Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson)

The only two Horsemen who ever did anything have a chance at gold tonight. Sadly, after nearly thirty minutes of breathtaking action, Mongo went for one of his trademark football tackles but Gibson steps out of the way and pins Mongo. So it will be the Rock N Roll Express against Jailhouse Love in the finals.

Rock'n'Roll Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) defeated
The Real Horsemen (Steve McMichael and Paul Roma) when R. Gibson pinned
McMichael after a side step in 0:28:13.
Rating: 1/2*

The Great Khali versus some scrub

The greatest World Champion of all time(although he has some stiff competition in such legends like David Arquette and Vince Russo), beats the ever living crap out of a jobber. Khali wins with the Tree Slam, like this little punk had a chance.


The Great Khali pinned AJ Styles with the Tree Slam in 0:02:14.
Rating: *

OSW Women's Title Match:
Nattie Neidhart vs Beth Phoenix vs Awesome Kong vs Billy Gunn

Billy Gunn bitched about sexual discrimination, citing that since women have been able to challenge for men's titles in the past, then men should be able to channel for the women's title. Gunn gets his wish and the three women beat the ever living crap out of Billy Gunn for most of this match. Gunn gets punked in the corner but then the three women turned their attention to each other. Kong and Nattie were on the outside of the ring when Billy Gunn connected with the Fame-Asser to score the pin on Beth Phoenix. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Billly Gunn has won the OSW Women's Title.

Four Corners Match for the vacant OSW Women's Title:
Billy Gunn defeated Nattie Neidhart, Awesome Kong and Beth Phoenix when B. Gunn
pinned Beth with the Fame-Ass-Er in 0:06:00.
Rating: * 3/4
(Billy Gunn won the OSW Women's Title.)

After the match, Sean Waltman comes out of nowhere and attacks Billy Gunn, laying him out with the X-Factor, before he points to the Women's Championship and does the crotch chop motion before he walks off.

OSW Television Title Match:
Mike Knox vs. Jim Duggan

Duggan starts a U.S.A. chant for that evil foreigner from Phoenix, Arizona. Both men trade punches, kicks, and chinlocks. Knox nearly pins Duggan but Duggan fights back, connecting with the three point stance for the pin and the OSW Television Title.


Match for the vacant OSW Television Title:
Jim Duggan pinned Mike Knox with the Three Point Stance in 0:11:43.
Rating: *
(Jim Duggan won the OSW Television Title.)

OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles, Championship:
Jailhouse Love vs The Rock N Roll Express

In an interesting twist of events, Ricky Morton plays Ricky Morton. Heidenreich goes for the Michael Cole Special, but Morton seems to have that move well scouted for some reason. Morton makes the tag and Gibson is a house of fire but he's stopped by Nailz. Jailhouse Love hit Dropping the Soap. The crowd goes into a hush, that move might be more awesome than the Michael Cole special. Heidenreich pins Gibson to score the pin and the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles.


Match for the vacant OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship:
Jailhouse Love (Nailz and Heidenreich) defeated
Rock'n'Roll Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) when Heidenreich pinned
R. Gibson after the Dropping the Soap in 0:15:21.
Rating: -** 1/2

Gibson is down in the ring, clutching his ass, as Jailhouse Love leave the ring, with the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles, Championship. He's in no condition to go for the Instant Rematch Clause.

The Match of the Century for the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship:
Snitskrieg vs. El Dandy

Both men due some lucha early on but Kevin Sullivan runs down to the ring, breaking up this match that was two years in the making for the disqualification. That damn Kevin Sullivan attacks El Dandy and attacks Snitskrieg too because he's evil. Sullivan then leaves, no doubt to sacrifice several small children and animals to some occult power, as both Snitskrieg and El Dandy are in the ring, the match ruined.


Match for the vacant OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title:
Snitskrieg defeated El Dandy by disqualification in 0:03:46.
Rating: 3/4*
(The OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title remained vacant.)
[Kevin Sullivan interfered against El Dandy.]
[Kevin Sullivan interfered against Snitskrieg.]

Next Week: As if we plan that far ahead.
Rick GarrardPosted on 07/07/08 at 04:19:09

LOL  This NEVER fails to amuse me.  Some of the best comedy since Heenan and Monsoon on Prime Time.
JakePosted on 07/07/08 at 04:42:46

Well it's (the Big Show) about time.
91Posted on 07/27/08 at 23:05:37

Oh God YES!

Those ARE some nice titles. Every TNM running joke shalt be rolled into one card.

That bitch Ortiz is schooled on in MMA by Hornswoggle, as Horny makes him his personal bitch with the cross armbreaker. Don't mess with the leprechaun.  

BWAHAHAHA!

Can we get Khali some PROPER competition please.

Weren't you the one who did that same angle with Billy Gunn in a serious fed years ago? Him and Waltman could be a womens title classic, there's just as much chance of seeing a low blow sold between those two as any of the other girls.

The Michael Cole special has been outdone? Oh dear God, the humanity.

HAH! The main event was ruined. That would have been awesome if they ever did that at a Wrestlemania... I'm thinking Hogan/Andre being ruined during the staredown by a Raymond Rougeau run-in.
SolomattGrundyPosted on 07/29/08 at 00:19:07


Weren't you the one who did that same angle with Billy Gunn in a serious fed years ago? Him and Waltman could be a womens title classic, there's just as much chance of seeing a low blow sold between those two as any of the other girls.
Yep, that was me.

And now back by the demand of absolutely no one who is of sound mind.

OSW The Gayest Show on Earth 7/12/08

Warning: Do not read this if you are a pussy who gets offended about a fictional wrestling show he reads on the internet.

Billy Gunn is out to start the show, as Todd Pettigill makes his long awaited return to wrestling as the interview. Gunn has the OSW Women's Championship over his shoulder. He talks about how it was his boyhood dream to hold a women's championship title belt, how he fought for years, held back by bigots that refused to allow a man challenge for a women's championship. He declares himself the greatest intergender superstar since Andy Kaufman and calls out Andy Kaufman for a match. When Pettigill informs Gunn that Kaufman is dead, Gunn scoffs, saying that it's a handy excuse to duck the greatest man to ever hold a women's championship belt. Gunn throws out an open challenge for any woman in the world to challenge for the title and who should accept the challenge but Chyna! The champion stammers in the ring, stating that he wants a woman in the ring but Chyna decks him and its on like Donkey Kong.

OSW Women's Title Match:
Chyna vs. Billy Gunn

Chyna makes Billy Gunn her personal bitch until making a mistake of hitting a low blow. Gunn shrugs it off and hits a low blow on Chyna. Chyna crumples down on the canvas and scores the pin. Billy Gunn covers Chyna to score the pin and retain the OSW Women's Title


Billy Gunn pinned Chyna after a low blow in 0:05:28.
Rating: 1/4*
(Billy Gunn retained the OSW Women's Title.)

Billy Gunn beats on Chyna after the match until X-Pac runs out and hits Billy Gunn with a spin kick. I know, shocking. Gunn leaves the ring, screaming that he wants X-Pac and Chyna in a three way...match next week. X-Pac responds by pointing to his crotch, so I guess he accepts. Chyna is still selling the low blow in the ring.

Jesse and Festus vs. two jobbers

Squash by a new addition to OSW, of Jesse and Festus. As if the result of this match was in any doubt.

Jesse and Festus defeated
The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin) when Festus pinned
C. Sabin with the Over the Shoulder Gutbuster in 0:01:40.
Rating: * 1/2

Marty Jannetty is backstage, stoked, saying last weekend he was fired by OSW but three days later he was rehired by OSW.  Tonight, he faces Colin Delaney and he's going to prove why he's Mary Jannetty.

Hornswoggle vs. Daniel Puder

Hornswoggle attacks at the bell, schooling Daniel Puder.  Puder is put out of his misery with a kneebar, proving that you don't fuck with the leprechaun. I guess Puder wasn't Tough Enough for Hornswoggle.

Hornswoggle made Daniel Puder submit to a kneebar in 0:04:53.
Rating: ** 1/4

Sonny Onoo is backstage with Hardwork Bobby Walker and Ice Train. He said that OSW offends him because there aren't enough untalented, undeserving miniorities on the roster. Much like he brought WCW to its knees by suing them for racial discrimination, he will shut down OSW. Here comes Michael Hayes, defending the rights of the untalented white men cluttering up the roster, stating that Onoo can bring his guys and Hayes will bring his next week, so they can have a tag team match. What's this planning ahead anyway? Onoo accepts, saying that he'll win through the power of affirmitive action.

Colin Delaney vs. Marty Jannetty
Jannetty beats on Colin for about a minute before security comes out. We understand that Marty Jannetty has been released by OSW, we wish him the best of his future endeavors. Since a guy not on the roster can't wrestle, Delaney wins this match by disqualification.


Colin Delaney defeated Marty Jannetty by disqualification in 0:01:09.
Rating: **

Kevin Sullivan is backstage in his altar of evil, sacrificing small animals to fuel his demonic powers. Sullivan says that last week, he ruined the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship battle last week, for no good reason. He says that OSW is too innocent, he's going to purge it of his innocence and inject it with a dose of evil. Sullivan threatens to bring technical wrestlers, with good workrate into OSW and make sure they win key matches. ANYTHING BUT THAT! Sullivan laughs evilly, saying that he's gong to watch Snitskrieg/Dandy take two closely.

Gillberg vs. "Stone Cold" Shark Boy

We finally get that Golderg/Steve Austin Match...well kind of. Gillberg comes out, and Shark Boy attacks him at the bell, stomping a mudhole into his ask. Charge is missed. Spear bounces off Shark Boy's gut. Kick, Wham, Stunner. Shark Boy scores the pin, guzzles the clam juice. Shell yeah son!

Shark Boy pinned Gillberg after a stunner in 0:03:06.
Rating: * 1/2

Out come the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championships, Nailz and Heidenreich, Jailhouse Love. They talk about derailing the Rock N Roll Express, Robert Gibson won't be able to sit down for several weeks after what they did to him. They are ready for some double teaming action and throw out a challenge to any tag team in the world. Out come the duo of Pat Patterson and the Brooklyn Brawler. The bell rings and this match is underway.

OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship:
Pat Patterson and Brooklyn Brawler vs. Jailhouse Love(c)

Some double teaming. Some go behinds. Disturbing positioning. Nailz and Heidenreich drop the soap on The Brawler to score the win. It makes the Michael Cole Special look like a drop toe hold.

Jailhouse Love (Nailz and Heidenreich) defeated
Brooklyn Brawler and Pat Patterson when Heidenreich pinned B. Brawler after the
Dropping the Soap in 0:22:42.
Rating: -**
(Jailhouse Love retained the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship.)

Jailhouse Love celebrate with the belts but some Iranian music plays and out comes the Iron Sheik! Sheik walks down to the ring and three hours later makes it to the top of the ramp with a microphone. He babbles, no one understands, but humbling in the old country way is threatened. Appearently, Sheiky has a tag team that he'll debut next week. Heidenreich yells that the Sheik will never humble him.

Handicap Match:
Fast Eddie vs. Zach Gowen

Gowen wins this un-PC battle with a one legged moonsault

Zach Gowen pinned Fast Eddie with the One Legged Moonsault in 0:03:22.
Rating: 1/2*

Afterwards, Eugene makes his way out, running down to the ring, pissed off at being left out, beating down Fast Eddie and Zach Gowen with Gowen's artificial leg. Eugene yells "I'M SPECIAL" over and over again. He runs to the back, with both Gowen and Eddie into the ring.

The Match of the Century(Take Two) for the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship:
Snitskrieg vs. El Dandy

Lucha spots. Snitskrieg doubts El Dandy and pays for it. The match ends when Kevin Sullivan runs out with a stick that a skull on it that he stole from Mortis. Sullivan beats down both men with the stick of doom, causing a no contest and no champion.

Match for the vacant OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title:
Snitskrieg and El Dandy battled to a no contest in 0:08:05.
Rating: * 3/4
(The OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title remained vacant.)
[Kevin Sullivan interfered against El Dandy.]
[Kevin Sullivan interfered against Snitskrieg.]

Sullivan stands in the ring, looking evil.

In late breaking news Marty Jannetty has been signed to an OSW contract.

Next Week: Snitskrieg/Dandy III. Will the Iron Sheik humble Heidenreich? His new tag team debuts next week. Hardwork Bobby Walker and Ice Train w/Sonny Onoo face off against Michael Hayes's tag team of cacausion wrestlers. X-Pac, Billy Gunn, and Chyna in a three way. The OSW Women's Title will be on the line. And much more.
Rick GarrardPosted on 07/29/08 at 02:45:25

Gunn vs Chyna... with the Spin kick from XPac... who didn't see THAT coming?  :)

Jesse and Festus vs. two jobbers

Jesse and Festus defeated
The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin) when Festus pinned
C. Sabin with the Over the Shoulder Gutbuster in 0:01:40.
Rating: * 1/2
LOL  In honor of JimiC.... those are some good jobbers.

Marty Jannetty is backstage, stoked, saying last weekend he was fired by OSW but three days later he was rehired by OSW. Tonight, he faces Colin Delaney and he's going to prove why he's Mary Jannetty.
I'm sure calling him "Mary" is a typo.... or is it?  :)  Maybe "Mary" can challenge Gunn for the Women's title?


Sonny Onoo... hmmm... .I can see where this is going.  Oughta be good... especially when Michael Hayes brings in an African American in a reverse Akeem "The African Dream" type of role (aka black man that thinks he's white).

Colin Delaney vs. Marty Jannetty
Jannetty beats on Colin for about a minute before security comes out. We understand that Marty Jannetty has been released by OSW, we wish him the best of his future endeavors. Since a guy not on the roster can't wrestle, Delaney wins this match by disqualification.
How the hell does one get fired DURING a match?!?

Sullivan rules... and his new "evil" is technical wrestling?!?  Oh the horror!!!

Patterson and Brawler.... now there is something to be said about this match against the Dynamic Duo...just knew that at some point Shiek would say something about humbling them.


Just give the title to Gamesmaster already.

Marty on contract #3?!?

I can see it now... Michael Hayes is bring in Shelton Benjamin and Kenzo Suzuki as his "caucasian" wrestlers.
UnrightPosted on 07/29/08 at 19:30:49

On 07/29/08 at 02:45:25, Rick Garrard wrote:I can see it now... Michael Hayes is bring in Shelton Benjamin and Kenzo Suzuki as his "caucasian" wrestlers.
My money's on Kerwin White & Jimmy Wang Yang.
91Posted on 07/29/08 at 20:36:32

On 07/29/08 at 00:19:07, SolomattGrundy wrote:
Gunn shrugs it off and hits a low blow on Chyna. Chyna crumples down on the canvas and scores the pin.
"OOWWWWWW MY PENIS... I mean MY VAGINA!"
JakePosted on 07/29/08 at 20:44:34

On 07/29/08 at 20:36:32, 91 wrote:

"OOWWWWWW MY PENIS... I mean MY VAGINA!"
I am so tempted to get B& post that image.
piperfan18Posted on 07/29/08 at 22:19:23

I am thinking Howard Finkel should be signed to challenge women and elderly alike to evening gown matches.
SolomattGrundyPosted on 08/01/08 at 00:11:25

This may or may not be my most offensive card yet.

OSW Kevin Sullivan Did It 7/19/08

Recap of the epic battles between Snitskrieg and El Dandy over the past couple of weeks and part three happens tonight for the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship. This time, if Kevin Sullivan interferes, the nameless, faceless, OSW management has warned that there will be severe consequences.

Ricky Morton vs The Zombie

The Zombie comes out in a low rider, wearing a mullet wig this week. The announcers remind us that Robert Gibson is out with injuries from suffering that brutal Dropping of the Soap at the hands of Jailhouse Love. Morton will be the opponent of the Zombie because he needs to pay his child support. Zombie beats down Morton this was a squash, with the Zombie hitting three rolling snap suplexes and climbing up top hitting the frog splash for the pin.


The Zombie pinned Ricky Morton after a frog splash in 0:05:04.
Rating: 3/4*

Afterwards, Zombie attempts to eat Ricky Morton's brains, but Morton is pulled out of the ring by Battle Cat and The Fourth Doink the Clown. Zombie decides to go after Doink, beating him up and eating his brains to a huge pop, but don't worry, there are at least hundreds more Doinks out there.

Jailhouse Love vs. two scrubs

The OSW "Those Are Some Nice Titles" Championship is not on the line, but the two jobbers get beaten. Heidenreich and Nailz could have won in seconds, but they torture these two jabronis, connecting with the Dropping of the Soap to one of the jobbers to score this non title victory.

Jailhouse Love (Nailz and Heidenreich) defeated El Generico and Kevin Steen
when Heidenreich pinned K. Steen after the Dropping the Soap in 0:28:43.
Rating: 1/2*

Heidenreich gets on the microphone, yelling about how no Iron Sheik is going to humble him. Bring on your team Sheik, because they're going to be dragged to the shower and force them to drop the soap.

Meng vs Hornswoggle

This week's bitch for Hornswoggle is Meng, who gets punked by everyone's favorite leprechaun. Kneebar causes the tap out. Afterwards, Hornswoggle attempts to rips Meng's eyeball out. Somewhere, Jimmy Jack Funk is smiling.

Hornswoggle made Meng submit to a kneebar in 0:06:35.
Rating: 3/4*

Eugene is backstage, dancing merrilly, when Kevin Sullivan walks up backstage, with a calculating smirk on his face. Sullivan says that he hates to tell Eugene this, but no one in the back likes him, he has no real friends. This causes Eugene to pout, but Sullivan quickly says that he's Eugene's only real friend. "Devil man, friend" ponders Eugene before he hugs Sullivan, who looks absolutely pained. Eugene might have cracked a rib. Eugene jumps up and down before Sullivan says that Eugene should interfere in Snitskrieg and El Dandy tonight in the main event, because those two men have been making fun of Eugene. Eugene looks pissed saying they shouldn't make fun of him, because he's special. Sullivan nods, saying that if Eugene wipes out both men, then maybe they'll make him the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Champion. Eugene looks pleased at the possibility of having a big shiny belt and skips off, while Sullivan looks evil. He's riled up the brutal, but well meaning, Eugene and will set him loose on Snitskrieg and El Dandy to fulfill some evil agenda that we don't have all the details of.

OSW Women's Title Match
Chyna vs. Sean Waltman vs. Billy Gunn(c)

Waltman attacks Gunn with a spin kick at the bell. Chyna attacks Waltman from behind and beats him down. Standard three way action, with Billy Gunn and Waltman doing a cat fight spot on the mat, rolling over referee Tim White, who might try and  commit suicide again after this exchange. Afterwards, Chyna throws Waltman to the floor but Gunn is on his knees. GROIN CLAWHOLD ON CHYNA! Chyna shrieks in agony, as this move is somehow legal. After a few seconds in the hold, Chyna passes out from the pain and Billy Gunn wins the match by knockout.

Triangle Match:
Billy Gunn defeated Chyna and Sean Waltman when B. Gunn defeated Chyna when
Chyna passed out in a groin clawhold in 0:08:05.
Rating: *
(Billy Gunn retained the OSW Women's Title.)

Waltman spin kicks Billy Gunn. Yes, I know, that Sean Waltman's really pushing the envelope. Chyna and Waltman double team Billy Gunn in the corner. Another spin kick on Billy Gunn, before they prop him into the corner. Chyna holds down Gunn so Waltman can deliver the Bronco Buster on Gunn. Gunn has a smile on his face, but once Chyna mounts him, he struggles to get away. The crowd is cheering. IT'S CHUCK PALUMBO! Palumbo enters the ring and knocks out Chyna with the Jungle Kick. Waltman goes for a spin kick but Palumbo has that well scouted and clotheslines Waltman to the floor. Gunn gets up and in a shocking swerve, Palumbo decks Gunn! The heartfelt reunion of Billy and Chuck is not to be tonight as Palumbo bends down and scoops up a knocked out Chyna, before he carries her off into parts unknown. Both Gunn and Waltman have been knocked out as their former partners have walked out together.

Out comes Sonny Onoo along with Hardwork Bobby Walker and Ice Train, who both look pumped up tonight. Onoo looks out in the crowd before he says he's disgusted at the lack of ethic minority fans in the crowd. OSW should have given them free tickets. The crowds boo, which causes Onoo to call them racists. "Badstreet USA" interrupts Onoo as Michael Hayes comes out, saying that he scanned the globe for the greats cacausion wrestlers in the world. He goes onto a rant about how Elvis was one of the greatest musicians in the world and white, so he knew that tag team called the Flying Elvises would have to be white, right? Out come Jorge Estrada and Sonny Siaki, the Flying Elvises.

Bobby Walker and Ice Train(w/Sonny Onoo) vs. Jorge Estrada and Sonny Siaki(w/Michael Hayes)

This was a brawl for it all. Estrada punches away at Walker in the corner. Onoo yells that a closed fisted punch is illegal and there should be a disqualification. At this point Walker comes back with one close fisted punch...for the disqualification!

Jorge Estrada and Sonny Siaki defeated Bobby Walker and Ice Train when
Jorge Estrada defeated B. Walker by disqualification in 0:08:54.
Rating: DUD

Onoo is jumping up and down, yelling that the referee was prejudice against his men, a racist and a bigot, he was a racist bigot. Estrada and Siaki celebrate, they might have put themselves in line for an OSW "Those Are Some Nice Titles" Titles in some undetermined point that might happen in the future.

Harvey Wippleman is backstage with a public service announcement. He talks about how the women's division is a disgrace, how the champion is a joke. But, next week, Wippleman will bring back a real pioneer in women's wrestling, a former WWE Women's Champion. Who could it be? We'll find out next week.

The Great Khali vs a piece of meat

Clawhold, Mongolian Chop, Tree Slam, foot on the chest, pin.

The Great Khali pinned Mitsuharu Misawa with the Tree Slam in 0:00:47.
Rating: *

Afterwards, Khali hits another tree slam to the jabroni. The crowd is cheering. SID VICIOUS RUSHES OUT! Sid enters the ring and gets in the face of Khali. I think Khali's found his competition. Sid looks crazed and babbles, with both men trading punches. Its an epic brawl, the crowd is cheering wildly. Sid has arrived to OSW and has set his sights on the Great Khali.

The Iron Sheik comes out, cutting a rambling promo about gays and faggots and humbling and B. Brian Blair. Afterwards, he introduces his tag team, the Big Johnsons. NWA TNA Year One night continues, next week Puppet the Psycho Dwarf and the return of the Dupp Cup(not). Their opponents are the Heart Throbs.

The Heart Throbs vs. The Big Johnsons(w/the Iron Sheik

Sheik rubs his Johnsons down to start and we begin. Lots of go behinds and mat wrestling to start. Afterwards, one of the Johnsons is cut off from his partner. Double team by the Heart Throbs for a long time, with the Heart Throbs taking turns beating on the Johnson. The Johnson fights out of the corner with punches. This burst from the Johnson allows him to tag the other Johnson. The Johnson shoots into the ring, prodding at both of the Heart Throbs with punches. Up to the top rope, but Romeo jerks the Johnson off the top rope. The other Johnson attacks Romeo from behind and takes Antonio out. Antonio is hit with the Premature Release and Johnson makes the cover to score the pin.

The Big Johnsons (Rod Johnson and Richard Johnson) defeated
The Heart Throbs (Romeo Roselli and Antonio Thomas) when Richard Johnson pinned
Antonio after the Premature Release in 0:41:42.
Rating: * 1/4

The Johnsons get the win, as the Sheik takes about twenty minutes to climb the stairs. They could be in line for a tag team title shot but one thing's for certain, these Johnsons stand up above the rest.

OSW Television TItle Match
Colin Delaney vs. Jim Duggan(c)

This was supposed to be Jannety/Delaney again, but Jannety was fired just a couple of minutes before this match stated. Duggan starts up a USA chant against this wicked foreigner from Rochester New York. Delaney eats his squash well, Three Point Stance scores the pin.


Jim Duggan pinned Colin Delaney with the Three Point Stance in 0:03:10.
Rating: * 1/4
(Jim Duggan retained the OSW Television Title.)

Duggan gets his hand raised into the air for the victory but Sylvain Grenier runs out and attacks Duggan, because, why the hell not. Grenier beats down Duggan and lays the Quebec Flag over him, before he parades around with the OSW Television Title Belt.

The Match of the Century(Take Three) for the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship:
Snitskrieg vs. El Dandy

Lucha. Snitskrieg delivers a pescado(well he leaps over the top rope, trips, and falls on top of El Dandy). Dandy fights back. Eugene runs out and attacks El Danndy for the disqualification, which means no champion.


Match for the vacant OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title:
El Dandy defeated Snitskrieg by disqualification in 0:06:05.
Rating: -*
(The OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title remained vacant.)

Eugene beats down El Dandy, viciously throwing him to the floor. Snitskrieg goes for a clothesline but Eugene ducks it and knocks out Snitskrieg with a stiff forearm smash. Eugene takes the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship Title Belt running off with it, yelling "I'm the champion!" Eugene skips to the back, with the championship belt, as Kevin Sullivan stands up in the rafters, looking diabolical.

Next Week: Stuff. Marty Jannety has been resigned, will he make it to the ring and complete a match next week before getting fired? Also, the title situation may actually be decided. Harvey Wippleman brings in a former WWE Women's Champion. The Zombie will be in action. What's Chuck Palumbo up to? What will happen with Sylvain Grenier and Jim Duggan? Who will Hornswoggle school next week? Why am I asking you these questions? Tune in.
JakePosted on 08/01/08 at 22:45:24

Man, those Johnsons sure can take a licking.
piperfan18Posted on 08/02/08 at 22:49:17

Oh god I hope Wippleman brings Bertha Faye
SolomattGrundyPosted on 08/16/08 at 15:59:04

OSW A New Champion is Crowned 7/26/08

OSW Spokesman/Interviewer/Commissioner Todd Pettigill comes out to announce the matches for tonight. Tonight, Snitskrieg and El Dandy face off in a Ladder Match for the vacant OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship. Also, Kevin Sullivan will make his OSW in ring debut this week and last week, he messed with the title match by riling up Eugene, so he has to face the Consequences...Creed that is. Also Marty Jannetty will make his long awaited return to OSW, facing off against an ECW Legend making his debut. Plus, Heidenreich will face off against a Johnson. All this and much more.

OSW Television Championship:
Kurrgan vs. Jim Duggan

Great technical battle. Greco roman punches. Olympic level nerve holds by Kurrgan. Duggan fights off and topples Kurrgan with the Three Point Stance clothesline to score the pin.


Jim Duggan pinned Kurrgan with the Three Point Stance in 0:05:47.
Rating: -*** 1/4
(Jim Duggan retained the OSW Television Title.)

Sylvain Grenier runs after the match and hits Duggan from behind with the Quebec Flag, before laying it on top of Duggan. Grenier stands over Duggan, posing wiht the OSW Television Title. Damn the evil empire of Quebec.

The Flying Elvises(w/Michael Hayes) vs. Two Ham-En-Eggers

Hayes is on commentary, talking about how the Elvises are an inspiration to caucasion wrestlers everywhere and defeated those evil minorities last week. Siaki scores the pin over one of the jabronis.

Sonny Siaki and Jorge Estrada defeated Triple H and Shawn Michaels when Siaki
pinned S. Michaels with the Siakoylpse NOW in 0:05:30.
Rating: ** 3/4

Out comes Sonny Onoo, with Bobby Walker and Ice Train. Last week, they were a victim of racial discrimination. Walker and Train want another match against the Elvises. Hayes gets on the microphone, saying those [beeps] aren't worthy of a match against his white boys. Unless, of course, it will be a Country Whippin' match. Onoo looks insulted that his men are in a position to be whipped and the fans cheer at the prospect of this. Reluctantly, Onoo accepts the challenge and next week, we have the Flying Elvises against Walker and Train in a Country Whippin' match.

Richard Johnson(w/Rod Johnson and The Iron Sheik) vs. Heidenreich(w/Nailz)

One half of the OSW Tag Team Champions against one half of the number one contenders. That Tag Team Title match will happen at some undetermined point in the future. Heidenreich beats on the Johnson in the corner but the Johnson responds by blasting Heidenreich with some punches. Heidenreich is knocked off balance but not for long as a clothesline decapitates him. The Johnson is stiff from that show and Heidenreich continues to pound on him. Bearhug but the Johnson fights out. Back into the corner and Heidenreich charges out of the corner. The Johnson shoots out of the corner onto Heidenreich before he climbs up top. Off the top rope. The Johnson splashes all over Heidenreich's face with that move. Heidenreich has been pinned.


Richard Johnson pinned Heidenreich after a splash from the top rope in 0:06:22.
Rating: DUD

Nailz enters the ring with the nightstick but the other Johnson attacks him from behind. Both of the Johnsons are beating down Nailz as Sheik yells, calling him a "gold digging fag" and "worse than Hulk Hogan", before threatening to humble him. The crowd is making some noise as a man dressed in black wearing a ski mask attacks the Iron Sheik from behind. The crowd boos as Sheik is being stomped. The Johnsons are caught off guard by this mystery man and get attacked from behind by Jailhouse Love. The Johnsons are limp as they have been beaten down. They were premature. Jailhouse Love leaves with the mystery man as the Iron Sheik is down on the ramp, he might be dead!

Sid vs. dead meat

The paramedics are coming out to tend to the injured Sheik but the show must go on. Sid makes his long awaited return to wrestling, beating down the jobber. Boot, chokeslam, power bomb, pin!


Sid pinned Mistico with the Power Bomb in 0:01:33.
Rating: **

Sid beats on the jabroni after the match and throws him over the top rope right onto the stretcher that they were about to put the Iron Sheik on, destroying it. Out walks Khali and Sid stands in the ring, telling him that he is the master and the ruler of the world. Both men stare at each other but nothing happens.

Braden Walker vs. Marty Jannetty

Veteran former ECW mainstay Braden Walker makes his OSW debut. He hits a lot of clothesline. Marty beats down Walker and is about to score the win, but security comes out, lead by Todd Pettigill, who seems to be growing a goatee for some reason. Pettigill stops the match, saying that Walker has been fired for not learning the OSW style and Marty Jannetty has been fired, just because he's Marty Jannetty. Both are lead off and this is a no-contest.

Braden Walker and Marty Jannetty battled to a draw in 0:05:00.
Rating: * 1/2

Festus and Jesse vs. Bobby Walker and Ice Train(w/Sonny Onoo)

The bell rings and Festus unloads on both Walker and Train who will compete in a Country Whippin' match next week against the Flying Elvises. They come back, beating down Festus and Walker dropkicks Festus from the top rope to score a two count. Onoo yells that the referee should make a quicker count, calling him a racist and the tag is made to Jesse, who sunset flips Walker. The referee gives a quick count, allowing Festus and Jesse to score the pin.


Festus and Jesse defeated Bobby Walker and Ice Train when Jesse pinned B. Walker
after a sunset flip in 0:05:53.
Rating: DUD

Onoo is yelling, calling the referee a racist as Festus and Jesse walk backstage with the win.

Consequences Creed vs. Kevin Sullivan

Sullivan attacks Creed at the bell, putting him in the tree of woe. Running knee to the gut. Double Stomp to the Belly Welly(tm Dusty Rhodes, all rights reserved). Sullivan scores the pin.


Kevin Sullivan pinned Consequences Creed with the Double Stomp in 0:01:05.
Rating: * 3/4

Sullivan throws Creed to the floor, before going underneath the ring, with a wooden stick with a skull on it. Kevin Sullivan raises the wooden stick and whacks Creed in the chest with it. Sullivan throws Creed to the floor, before peeling back the mats. Piledriver on the arena floor! The crowd boos, as Sullivan walks off as Creed is being dragged to the back, because he's not important enough to warrant bringing the paramedics back.

Harvey Wippleman says that he is working to bring in the greatest women's wrestler in the world to bring some respect to the OSW Women's division. This competitor will make her debut soon enough and Billy Gunn better watch out.

Billy Gunn vs a talentless bitch

Gunn gets a non title's match, as Harvey Wippleman is not quite ready to bring in his world class women's competitor. Quickly, Gunn wins with the Fame-Asser for the pin.

Billy Gunn pinned Sara Del Ray with the Fame-Ass-Er in 0:02:52.
Rating: * 1/4

Ladder Match for the Vacant OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship:
El Dandy vs. Snitskrieg

Kevin Sullivan runs out before the match, but security is ready for him, bringing Sullivan to the back. Jeff Hardy eat your heart out, this was a high flying encounter with many high impact spots off the bottom and even second rung of the ladder. Eventually, Snitskrieg makes his way to the belt but Dandy dropkicks him off. Snitskrieg drops off to his feet and Dandy goes for the belt, but Snitskrieg launches him off. Punches battered both men and clothesline by Snitskrieg sends both men to the floor. The crowd is booing, as both men are on the floor, the Repo Man sneaks out to the ring. Repo Man climbs the ladder, set up under the belt and takes the OSW OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship from the ceiling. The bell rings?

Ladder Match for the vacant OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title:
Snitskrieg and El Dandy battled to a draw in 0:10:00.
Rating: 3/4*
(The Repo Man won The OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title.)

Repo Man is announced as the new champion, since the rules of this match were that the first person to grab the belt would be the champion. Snitskrieg, El Dandy, and perhaps an entire locker room full of people who did not think to run out and climb the ladder are pissed. Repo Man runs off with the championship, cackling like Frank Gorshin on crack. We finally have a new champion and he's the Repo Man.

Next Week: What will our new champion do? Snitskrieg, El Dandy, and Kevin Sullivan will all be in the house. Nailz versus a Johnson. The Flying Elvises vs. Bobby Walker and Ice Train in a Country Whippin' match. Marty Jannetty has just been resigned, will he remain employed long enough to wrestle and complete  match? Tune in!
King_Of_Old_SchoolPosted on 08/16/08 at 16:19:40

Pure brilliance. A legend like Repo Man deserves a title as prestigious as the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship.
SolomattGrundyPosted on 09/02/08 at 03:23:05

This may be the greatest card in the entire history of OSW(either versions). However, don't take my word for it, read on.

OSW I Swear Russo Didn't Book This 8/2/08

A Johnson(w/the Other Johnson and the Iron Sheik) vs. Nailz(w/Heidenreich and a masked man in yellow and black)

The Iron Sheik messages his Johnson before the match but Nailz jerks it out of the corner. Nailz beats on the Shiek's Johnson, causing it to wilt, as it deflates in the corner. Nailz thrusts towards the Sheik's Johnson, knocking it into the corner. Blows by Nailz to the top of the Johnson and the Sheik's Johnson is stiff in the corner but comes back. Sheik's Johnson blasts at Nailz, knocking him to the canvas from the burst of offense but Heidenreich comes in, grabbing the Sheik's Johnson for the disqualification. Nailz has been disqualified for the rough handling of Heidenreich on the Sheik's Johnson.

Rod Johnson defeated Nailz by disqualification in 0:07:08.
Rating: -*****
[Heidenreich interfered against Rod Johnson.]

Heidenreich and Nailz are double teaming him in the corner. The other Johnson enters the ring but gets cut off and pounded down to the ring. Afterwards, Sheik enters the ring but gets kicked in the back of the leg by the masked manager who takes off his mask to reveal, B. BRIAN BLAIR! The crowd is booing as B. Brian Blair is beating on the Sheik, yelling "humble me now, bitch." Shiek is thrown into the ring and Nailz and B. Brian Blair hold Sheik so Heidenreich could administer the Michael Cole Special to a slight pop from the crowd. The Iron Sheik falls now, ranting about Kramer and faggots and humbling, as he might be on the shelf thanks to Heidenreich administrating that deadly finishing move. The announcers speculate on the possibility of Sheik/Heidenreich in a "First Humbling" match.

Marty Jannetty vs. Hi. I'm Robbie

Jannetty blizes the Highlander at the bell, trying to get the win before he got fired again and connects with the Rocker Dropper for the pin just as some suited men come down the ramp.


Marty Jannetty pinned Robbie McAlister with the Rocker Dropper in 0:00:56.
Rating: * 1/2

Marty gets fired after the match but his latest OSW stint ends with a 1-0 record.

Who vs Job Boy

Who is wrestling tonight. No I'm telling you, Who is wrestling tonight. Who is on the second rope. Who leaps off. Who hits a shoulderblock. Powerslam delivered by Who. Who gets the win. Yes he does.


Who pinned Genichiro Tenryu after a powerslam in 0:01:55.
Rating: 3/4*

The Repo Man is backstage, cackling at his mad plan to capture the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt. He says that what his is his and what's yours is his to. He said tonight he was going to defend his belt against Dennis Stamp tonight, but since he wasn't booked, the Repo Man will defend the belt against a super secret mystery challenger that competed in WCW and once teamed up with Chris Jericho and Norman Smiley in the past.

Jailhouse Love and B. Brian Blair are backstage when Ricky Morton comes out, saying that Robert Gibson is on the mend and the Rock N Roll Express will be back on the tracks soon(CONTINUITY~!). Out comes Todd Pettigill who is pissed at the tomfoolery that Jailhouse Love had did tonight. The Johnsons have been put out of commission and the Iron Sheik as well, so tonight, they will defend the belts against Snitskrieg and El Dandy.

We understand Harvey Wippleman has been suspended because of a violation of the OSW Wellness Policy and out comes Buff Bagwell. Buff says Billy Gunn wants a challenger, he can have his own mother, the legendary Judy Bagwell. The crowd goes wild(or maybe the heat machine), as Judy Bagwell comes out, with a very Rocky esq entrance, as she is ready to challenge for the OSW Women's Title against Billy Gunn.

OSW Women's Title:
Judy Bagwell(w/Buff Bagwell) vs. Billy Gunn):

Great action. Buff Bagwell interferes because he can. The final Buff Blockbuster scored the pin for Judy as she has ended the epic OSW Women's Title reign of Billy Gunn.

Judy Bagwell pinned Billy Gunn after a double arm DDT in 0:46:38.
Rating: ** 1/4
(Judy Bagwell won the OSW Women's Title.)
[Buff Bagwell interfered against Billy Gunn.]

Billy Gunn looks apalled as a women has the OSW Women's Title. "I'm the Greatest" kicks up and out comes Ernest "The Cat" Miller, who says that Judy better not get too comfortable with that title for long because next week, we are going to finally see Ernest "The Cat" Miller's Momma live and in living color. Thats right, a debut that is ten years in a making. But right now, The Cat will challenge Buff Bagwell to a rematch from WCW Road Wild 1999 next week. The Buffster accepts and we have the long awaited return match between the Cat and Buff next week on OSW.

Country Whippin' Match:
Bobby Walker and Ice Train(w/Sonny Onoo) vs. Jorge Estrada and Sonny Siaki(w/Michael Hayes)

The black dudes get whipped for the entire match. Michael Hayes looks on. Sonny Onoo enters the ring and gets beaten byy Michael Hayes. Siakapolis Now scores the pin and the feud is blown off.


Strap Match:
Jorge Estrada and Sonny Siaki defeated Bobby Walker and Ice Train when Siaki
pinned B. Walker with the Siakoylpse NOW in 0:12:54.
Rating: DUD

Hayes grabs Onoo and throws him at the mercy of the Flying Elvises but MARK HENRY COMES OUT TO REEK HIS UNROLY REVENGE! Henry beats down Estrada and Siaki with ease, we wish them the best in their future endeavors and goes after Michael Hayes but MAE YOUNG MAKES THE SAVE. Mae enters the ring and beats Mark Henry with a walker, yelling that he owes her back child support for their hand. Michael Hayes has a bottle of Jack Daniels and breaks it over the skull of Mark Henry, taking him out. Michael Hayes and Mae Young leave together, because why the hell not.

Red writing on a black screen appears with the following message:
OSW NEEDS MORE KANE!

The Great Khali against Jabroni

Baba Chop, Clawhold, passout, yay Khali.


The Great Khali defeated Kurt Angle when Kurt Angle passed out in a clawhold in
0:01:12.
Rating: **

Out comes Sid Vicious, to continue this feud. Sid beats on Khali and clotheslines him to the floor. Sid cuts a promo, basically challenging Khali to a match for next week. Khali responds by raising his hand up in the air and growling. We'll take that as a yes.

OSW Television Title Match:
Jim Duggan vs. Sylvain Grenier(c)

Duggan beats on the evil man from Quebec until the Quebecers run out. Jacques and Pierre get taken out and Sylvain cradles Duggan for the pin and the title.

Sylvain Grenier pinned Jim Duggan after a rolling cradle in 0:07:12.
Rating: 1/2*
(Sylvain Grenier won the OSW Television Title.)

The Evil Empire of Quebec are beating Duggan down. Duggan is down in the ring, being draped in the Quebec Flag.

OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championships
El Dandy and Snitskrieg vs. Jailhouse Love(c)(w/B. Brian Blair)

Snitskrieg and Dandy don't like each other so there is no way in hell they are walking out with the titles. Really, swear to God, I would not lie about such a thing. Snitskrieg and Heidenreich, former members in the Fourth Reich, have an epic meeting. Snitskrieg gets beaten down until El Dandy is tagged in. El Dandy beats on both men until that dastardly B. Brian Blair trips him up, leading to more double teaming. El Dandy tries to make the save, but Snitskrieg, in a shocking swerve, walks off on his partner. El Dandy stages a one man comeback, beating on all three men(including Blair) and selling nothing, before he delivers a Dandina Cradle  on Heidenreich to score the pin. Yes, Snitskrieg and El Dandy are your new wacky mismatched tag team partners that don't get along er OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Champions.


El Dandy and Snitskrieg defeated Jailhouse Love (Nailz and Heidenreich) when
Dandy pinned Heidenreich with the Dandina Cradle in 0:12:09.
Rating: -* 1/2
(El Dandy and Snitskrieg won the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship.)

Repo Man comes out, with his belt, parading around the ring. He says that tonight he is going to defend the belt against one of the greatest, the man known as RALPHUS. Out comes Ralphus in a half shirt and Daisy Duke shorts, grinning a smile of three teeth as he enters the ring, shaking the ropes like the Ultimate Warrior before posing like Hulk Hogan and it's on like Donky Kong.

OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship:
Ralphus vs. the Repo Man(c)

Ralphus hits an offensive flurry of two punches before he collapses and Repo beats him up. Kevin Sullivan comes out, evil deed in mind. The referee is bumped as Repo Man beats on Ralphus but Kevin Sullivan enters the ring. The Repo Man goes after him, beating him down but he turns around right into a clothesline from Ralphus. Ralphus drops Repo as the crowd is excited as he climbs to the top rope. About two minutes later, he's up top. Can Ralphus live the dream? Ralph-Sault connects. That flipping belly flop off the top rope connects. The referee is back up and counts the pin. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a new OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship holder, the man known as Ralphus.

Ralphus pinned The Repo Man with the Ralph-Sault in 0:05:02.
Rating: -**
(Ralphus won the OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title.)
[Kevin Sullivan interfered against The Repo Man.]

Ralphus pants heavily, as he has the belt but Sullivan enters the ring. Sullivan says that Ralphus has won but he is going to make him an offer that he can't refuse. In the ultimate act of evil, Sullivan offers to buy the OSW Championship for a box of donuts and three hookers. Ralphus looks conflicted, as the crowd is encouraging him not to do it. When Sullivan offers a second box of donuts, Ralphus caves in, subcumbing to temptation. Sullivan laughs evilly but in the confusion Repo Man steals the belt, running off, getting the last laugh. Sullivan is pissed at being "out-dicked". The announcers wonder who the hell is the champion and that actually is a damn good question.

Next Week: Sid/Khali, Festus/Sullivan, Cat/Bagwell, and more.
SolomattGrundyPosted on 12/10/08 at 01:11:16

(Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Come Back to the Circuit Forums. I also decided to revive this circuit because I got an idea for a storyline, based on the main event of WCW Uncensored 1996.)

OSW Unbooked Battle Royal 8/9/08

Out comes Todd Pettigill to announce that because of last weeks convulted clusterfuck of a bumblefuck involving the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship, it's being vacated and put on the line in a fifty man Royal Rumble! The crowd cheers as its open to any man or woman who could come down to the ring. We will have an undisputed OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship holder tonight.

The Great Khali vs. Sid Vicious

This is an epic encounter. Thirty minutes of technical moves such as bearhugs, nerveholds, and chinlocks. Chops as well. Lots and lots of chops. Khali looks menacing Both men punch each other until the time limit runs out in this nearly perfect match!

The Great Khali and Sid battled to a draw in 0:30:00.
Rating: -**** 3/4

Both men continue to brawl with Khali knocking Sid to the floor. Sid bounces to the floor and he grabs a squeegie! Sid has a squeegie and he enters the ring. HE BEATS KHALI WITH THE SQUEEGIE! Khali goes down as Sid stands in the ring. Feel the window washing tool of doom~! Perhaps this will lead to an epic match, like a Squeegie On a Pole Match down the road.

El Dandy is backstage when he is being handed a telegram by a mysterious hooded figure, saying the Confederation of People Who Doubt El Dandy is coming. El Dandy looks confused and he beats up the hooded man before delivering the Dandina Cradle, leaving him in a crumpled heap. This is why you should not doubt El Dandy.

Festus vs. Kevin Sullivan

Festus runs wild at the bell but Kevin Sullivan rolls to the floor and grabs the hammer to the ring bell. The referee is waring Sullivan but Sullivan, rings the bell. Festus's eyes go crossed and he's harmlessly, allowing Sullivan to enter the ring and wallop him with a clothesline. Festus goes down and Kevin Sullivan scores the pin.

Kevin Sullivan pinned Festus after a clothesline in 0:04:28.
Rating: * 1/4

Kevin Sullivan rolls to the floor and snatches the ring bell away from the timekeeper before he could ring it. He then enters the ring and delivers the Double Stomp to the Belly Welly(tm Dusty Rhodes, all rights reserved), before grabbing a dog collar with a chain on the end. He snaps the collar around the neck of Festus and drags him backstage. The crowd is booing as Kevin Sullivan has just kidnapped Festus, who has been rendered harmless and has also stolen the ring bell. Does his evil know any bounds?

Out comes Marcus "Buff" Bagwell and his mother, Judy, to the ring, who is the OSW Women's Champion. Judy says last week, she whomped on Billy Gunn to win the belt and Buff says that tonight he will keep Ernest Miller's ass. Judy gets in his face telling him to watch his mouth and Buff meekly responds "yes, Mommy."

Ernest Miller vs. "The Momma's Boy" Buff Bagwell(w/Judy Bagwell)

It should be noted that we still don't have a ringbell due to that bastard Kevin Sullivan stealing it earlier. Bagwell and Ernest Miller have a match and Bagwell blows out his knee. He screams, bursting into tears and Ernest rolls his eyes, before he misses a kick which allows Bagwell to hit a back suplex for a quick pin.

Marcus Bagwell pinned Ernest Miller after a back suplex in 0:07:08.
Marcus Bagwell injured his right knee. He will be out for approximately 4 cards.
Rating: 1/2*

The crowd is booing as Judy Bagwell enters the ring and WAFFLES ERNEST MILLER WITH HER HANDBAG! She is beating the hell out of the Cat but the lights go out. Cue the snow and the overblown, overbudgeted, laser light show as Glacier makes his way down to the ring. Glacier is making his entrance and ten minutes later, but Ernest Miller is laid out in the center of the ring being beaten to death with Judy Bagwell and her handbag. Glacier just shrugs and walks out.

Fifty Man Battle For the Vacant OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship:

We start out with Jonathan Coachman and Sean Waltman, proving that anyone can enter. Coachman punks Waltman at the bell and clotheslines him to the floor in short order. The Coach has eliminated Sean Waltman! The crowd cheers as the Coach kills time acting like an utter ass in the ring before David Flair comes down to the ring. Flair struts around the ring before entering the ring and Coach beats him down. The Coach runs wild and rakes David Flair in the face before knocking him to the floor. David Flair has been eliminated by the Coach

Out comes Ricky Morton. The Coach attacks Morton but Morton fights back. Spinning headscissors and the Coach is dumped on his head, not that it did much damage. Morton tosses Coachman out. Morton looks pleased, could he be the next title holder. Out comes Viscera. Yes, Viscera. He enters the ring, looking fatter than ever and attacks Morton, beating him down. Unfortunately, Viscera's entrance takes a long time so by the time he gets going, it's time for the next man. Bushwhacker Butch comes out, doing the Bushwhacker walk. Viscera beats on Morton as Bushwhacker Butch circles them, doing his walk, before Viscera tosses Morton to the floor. Ricky Morton has been eliminated.

Out comes Bushwhacker Luke. Luke enters the ring and the Bushwhackers beat down Viscera, before Butch splashes him. Butch manages to peel Viscera off the canvas. Viscera is dumped for an elimination. The Bushwhackers stare each other down but they decide to kill time by doing the Bushwhacker walk until Pacman Jones, yes Pacman Jones comes out. Jones comes out, with a football. FOOTBALL TO THE GROIN OF BUTCH! Luke goes for a swing but Pacman ducks and picks up the football. FOOTBALL TO THE GROIN OF LUKE! Pacman reaches into his pocket and pulls out money, before he makes it rain!

Michael Cole is next and he rushes to the ring. SPEAR ON PACMAN JONES. Michael Cole is beating the ever living shit out of Pacman! The Bushwhackers are up and they pull them apart. Michael Cole charges and Cole knocks Pacman to the floor! Cole raises his hand in the air, cheering and the Bushwhackers walk over to Cole, before Butch grabs him in a headlock and Luke licks in in the face. Out comes A Johnson. Can the Johnson rise up and shoot all over everyone to win the champions? He enters the ring and  The Johnson blasts towards the Bushwhackers, nailing them hard. Butch gets bounced to the floor.

Out comes Robert Gibson. Gibson slides into the ring to beat on the Johnson. Luke backs off after some time and knocks the Johnson to the floor with a lariat. The Johnson has been cut out of the title picture. A short time later, Nailz comes down to the ring. Nailz enters the ring and lives up to his name by nailing Michael Cole. Cole has had his share of problems with Nailz's jailhouse love partner, Heidenreich. Robert Gibson and Luke are doing wrestling but no one cares about that but Gibson rushes over and knocks Nailz to the floor with a dropkick. Nailz has been eliminated by Robert Gibson

The next man is, Kevin Federline. A chant of "You speared Britney" greets K-Fed as he enters the ring. Gison quickly attacks Federaline and beats him down. Vertical suplex brings Federaline down and he picks up Federaline before chucking him to the floor. K-Fed is gone! Michael Cole attacks Gibson from behind and forearms him. Another forearm and Cole takes Gibson to the floor! Michael Cole looks badass as he beats on Luke! Out comes Elax and then Kendall Windham. We're just filling up time right now, as more things happen, with Michael Cole beating on people.

Ralphus makes his way down to the ring. Ralphus enters the ring, he won the belt last week for a minute, but he wants to win it again. Ralphus beats on Elax, before setting him up for the Ralph-Sault but Elax moves out of the way. More battle royal fare happens until "The MMA Midget" Hornswoggle runs out. Hornswoggle slides into the ring and beats on Luke before putting him out. Hornswoggle even is badass enough to stand up to the awesomeness that is Michael Cole before knocking him to the floor. Hornswoggle is cooking and he beats on Kendall Windham! Kendall Windham dodges the attacks and knocks Ralphus to the floor. Ralphus hits the floor hard for the elimination. Elax bounces Kendall Windham, just because.

Out comes Gerald Brisco. Briscoe enters the ring, beating on Kendall Windham. He beats on Elax but gets kicked in the groin by Hornswoggle before Hornswoggle applies a knee scissors. Briscoe gets pummels as Elax chills until Who comes out. Who steps into the ring. Who eliminates Hornswoggle. No I'm telling you, Who eliminated Hornswoggle! Who beats down Brisco and Elax until Rodney of Mean Street Posse fame comes out. Rodney steps into the ring and attacks Who until a football tackle brings Rodney down. Who chucks Rodney for the elimination

The crowd is on their feet as here comes the conquering hero, El Dandy! Dandy runs down to the ring and enters the ring. Who bounces Elax as Dandy runs wild on Gerald Brisco. Brisco is taken down and Dandy rushes Who before taking him out for the elimination. Dandy beats on Briscoe and delivers the Dandina Cradle to him. Out comes Bart Gunn. Bart Gunn enters the ring and out goes Bart Gunn thanks to Gerald Brisco. Briscoe goes back and shrugs before he exchanges punches and headlocks with El Dandy, before Dandy puts a lucha submission hold on him.

Out comes the OSW Television Champion, Sylvain Grenier. Grenier walks down to the ring, the belt draped over his shoulder and gets kicked right in the face by Dandy. Dandy beats down Sylvain as he covers but Briscoe is up. Brisco dumps Dandy over the top rope! The crowd explodes into boos at Gerald Brisco has just eliminated their hero. This is almost like this match is being booked by a computer game or something, how random it is. Grenier screams like a little girl as Brisco stretches him with an abdominal stretch.

Ahmed Johnson comes out.. Grenier and Brisco stop before they dump Johnson out immediately before he could injure himself or someone else. Brisco continues to beat on Grenier. Out comes Van Hammer because, why not.. Van Hammer enters the ring and Brisco goes after him. Brisco beats on him, until Grenier attacks both men. Brisco gets dumped by Grenier and shortly thereafter, Hammer gets dumped.. Grenier is the last man in the ring and he yells to be given his belt, not knowing there are several more people to come out yet.

Out comes Disgraceland. He was in TNA for about a minute and now he's in OSW for about a minute and thirty five seconds until Grenier throws him out. Grenier is left. Billy Gunn, the former OSW Women's Champion enters the ring.. Gunn and Grenier enters the ring and attack each other, rolling around in the canvas, scratching, punching, and biting at each other. Joey Styles walks out from the back to scream, "CATFIGHT!" before walking back. Well that was random. Grenier and Gunn stand into the ring.

Repo Man comes out. Another former champion as he sneaks around the ring, before he sneaks into the ring and dumps Billy Gunn to the floor! The crowd explodes into cheers, because none of them want to see Billy Gunn as champion! Grenier attacks Repo Man and throws him to the floor. Repo Man has been eliminated. Grenier is in the ring once again until Stevie Ray comes out. Ray walks into the ring, talking about fruit booties and yaks. Grenier rushes Ray but Stevie ducks and hits Grenier with a foreign er international object. He then throws Grenier to the floor after punching him in the midsection. Stevie Ray has eliminated Grenier, finally.

Out comes Zach Gowen Oh come on, this is unfair, Gowen only has one leg, out can he lose a battle royal? Gowen hobbles into the ring, removing his prostetic leg and Ray goes for a kick but Gowen ducks, leaping to the middle rope. Asai Leg Lariat and Ray has been eliminated! Gowen enters the ring and out comes Phineas Godwinn! Godwinn enters the ring, doing a hog call. Gowen rushes him but PHINEAS NAILS HIM WITH THE SLOP BUCKET! Gowen's out and Phineas hoists him up before delivering the Slop Drop. Gowen gets bounced to the floor like a pinpong ball. Technically only one leg hit the floor, but does it really matter?

Out comes Tatanka(BUFFALO!) Tatanka enters the ring and beats on Phineas with chops before Joey Abs of the Mean Street Posse comes out. Joey Abs enters the ring standing back as Godwinn beats on Tatanka before bouncing him to the floor. Tatanka has been eliminated!. Joey Abs attacks Godwinn, beating him down. He beats him until Erik Watts comes out. Watts enters the ring and dropkicks Abs in the ankle. Another dropkick is missed and Watts is thrown to the floor.. Joey Abs eliminates Phineas Godwinn as well.

Out comes Snitskrieg. Of course, Snitskrieg got to win this match, because El Dandy didn't. Right? Right? Wrong as Joey Abs throws out Snitskrieg. Joey Abs stalls time, taunting the crowd until Colin Delaney comes out. Delaney enters the ring and gets attacked by Joey Abs immediately. Abs chokes Delaney before throwing him out! Joey Abs is on fire and out comes The other Big Johnson. The Johnson enters the ring and Joey Abs attacks the Johnson. He's beating on the Johnson in the corner. The Johnson deflates as he is thrown out.

The Italian Opera Music plays and out comes Santino Marella! Santino walks into the ring and Abs attacks Santino. Santino gets beaten down but Santino fights out. We could see our next champion in Santino Marella. Santino and Abs beat each other down until Pete Gas comes out! Obviously this is not fair, a two on one disadvantage against Santino, who takes note of this, bitching to anyone who would listen. Santino is bounced from the ring! Joey Abs then turns on Pete Gas and powerslams him down. Abs counts his own pin because apparently pinfalls now count in this match. Why not, but Pete Gas has been eliminated!

Bobby Dempsey and Bull Buchanan both come out to do nothing of note. Some shit happens, killing time. Out comes Heidenreich! Heidenreich marches down to the ring! It is quite unfortunate we did not get a Michael Cole/Heidenreich confrontation but Heidenreich enters the ring and beats down Joey Abs. Abs gets tossed to the floor Heidenreich destroys Dempsey and Buchanan, they are fresh meat to him until Johnny B. Badd runs out! Badd is the next man in and he attacks Buchanan with a kneelift, as Heidenreich bearhugs Dempsey, shaking him. Demspey hits the floor hard! Badd eliminates Bull Buchanan.

Out comes Pat Patterson! Patterson enters the ring and attacks Johnny B. Badd but gets nailed from behind by Heidenreich. Heidenreich traps Patterson in the corner. Michael Cole Special delivered to Pat Patterson! Heidenreich recoils in horror when her realizes Patterson is enjoying it! Badd decks Patterson and knocks him down, before throwing him to the floor. Pat Patterson has been eliminated! Heidenreich and Badd continue to battle. Chyna's out from the back. Chyna enters the ring and Badd ducks a clothesline, before kneeing her in the back. Chyna is thrown to the floor for the elimination. Chyna is out!

More beating from Badd and Heidenreich. Heidenreich bounces Badd! Heidenreich is in the ring and out comes the greatest ECW Champion of all time, Justin Credible! Credible walks down the ring and gets annihilated by Heidenreich immediately. Heidenreich beats Credible down. Out comes Steve Blackman! Blackman walks down to the ring and attacks Credible. Credible is chopped and Blackman and Heidenreich exchange moves until we bring out Jim Duggan! Duggan and Heidenreich revisit on an old feud, with Heidenreich hitting a clothesline and elbowdrop before he tosses Jimbo to the floor. Duggan has been eliminated!

Out comes Tank Abbott! The fans chant "Arquette's bitch" as he comes down to the ring. Abbott walks into the ring and jabs to both Blackman and Credible. Tank Abbott gets punked by Heidenreich, going down faster than Kimbo Slice in a CBS fight. Henry Godwinn is the last man in! Godwinn enters the ring and attacks Heidenreich. Abbott is back up and he bounces Blackman to the floor for the elimination. Steve Blackman is out of here!

Your final four for the vacant OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt are Heidenreich, Tank Abbott, Henry Godwinn, and Justin Credible. What a field, eh? Henry Godwinn eliminates Tank Abbott pinning him with a Slop Drop. Credible gets knocked around as Henry Godwinn and Heidenreich exchange punches, with a lot of near misses until Heidenreich pins Godwinn with the Spinning Side Slam!

It's now down to Credible and Heidenreich. No doubt these two epic gladiators will be locked in a field of battle for several hours until we decide a champion. Or Heidenreich could get kicked in the back of the head and pinned with a snap mare, which is what happened.

50-Man Battle Royal for the vacant OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title:
Justin Credible won a 50-man Royal Rumble:
        x Waltman and Coach started out.
        x Coach threw out Waltman after a clothesline in 0:00:54
        x David Flair entered at 0:02:00
        x Coach threw out D. Flair after a facerake in 0:03:29
        x Ricky Morton entered at 0:04:00
        x R. Morton threw out Coach after spinning headscissors in 0:04:40
        x Viscera entered at 0:06:00
        x Bushwhacker Butch entered at 0:08:00
        x Viscera threw out R. Morton in 0:09:15
        x Bushwhacker Luke entered at 0:10:00
        x Butch threw out Viscera after a splash in 0:11:22
        x Pacman Jones entered at 0:12:00
        x Michael Cole entered at 0:14:00
        x M. Cole threw out Pacman in 0:15:49
        x Richard Johnson entered at 0:16:00
        x Richard Johnson threw out Butch after a vertical suplex in 0:16:34
        x Robert Gibson entered at 0:18:00
        x Luke defeated Richard Johnson after a short lariat in 0:19:49
        x Nailz entered at 0:20:00
        x R. Gibson threw out Nailz in 0:20:26
        x Kevin Federline entered at 0:22:00
        x R. Gibson threw out K-Fed after a vertical suplex in 0:22:41
        x M. Cole threw out R. Gibson after a forearm to the back in 0:23:16
        x Elax entered at 0:24:00
        x Kendall Windham entered at 0:26:00
        x Ralphus entered at 0:28:00
        x Hornswoggle entered at 0:30:00
        x Hornswoggle defeated Luke after a splash in 0:30:37
        x Hornswoggle threw out M. Cole in 0:30:59
        x K. Windham threw out Ralphus in 0:31:11
        x Elax threw out K. Windham in 0:31:47
        x Gerald Brisco entered at 0:32:00
        x Who entered at 0:34:00
        x Who threw out Hornswoggle in 0:34:54
        x Rodney entered at 0:36:00
        x Who threw out Rodney after a football tackle in 0:37:28
        x El Dandy entered at 0:38:00
        x Who threw out Elax in 0:39:53
        x Dandy threw out Who in 0:39:56
        x Bart Gunn entered at 0:40:00
        x G. Brisco threw out Bart Gunn in 0:40:20
        x Sylvain Grenier entered at 0:42:00
        x G. Brisco threw out Dandy in 0:42:51
        x Ahmed Johnson entered at 0:44:00
        x Grenier threw out A. Johnson in 0:44:32
        x Van Hammer entered at 0:46:00
        x Grenier threw out G. Brisco in 0:46:27
        x Grenier threw out Van Hammer in 0:46:45
        x Disgraceland entered at 0:48:00
        x Grenier threw out Disgraceland after an elbowsmash in 0:49:35
        x Billy Gunn entered at 0:50:00
        x The Repo Man entered at 0:52:00
        x Man threw out Billy Gunn in 0:52:06
        x Grenier threw out Man after a headsmash into the turnbuckle in
          0:52:36
        x Stevie Ray entered at 0:54:00
        x S. Ray threw out Grenier after a fist to the midsection in 0:55:02
        x Zach Gowen entered at 0:56:00
        x Zach threw out S. Ray after an Asai leg lariat in 0:56:16
        x Phineas Godwinn entered at 0:58:00
        x Godwinn threw out Zach after a facerake in 0:58:16
        x Tatanka entered at 1:00:00
        x Joey Abs entered at 1:02:00
        x Godwinn threw out Tatanka in 1:02:29
        x Erik Watts entered at 1:04:00
        x Joey Abs threw out E. Watts in 1:04:04
        x Joey Abs threw out Godwinn after a ropeburn in 1:04:28
        x Snitskrieg entered at 1:06:00
        x Joey Abs threw out Snitskrieg in 1:07:12
        x Colin Delaney entered at 1:08:00
        x Joey Abs threw out C. Delaney after a choke against the ropes in
          1:09:03
        x Rod Johnson entered at 1:10:00
        x Joey Abs threw out Rod Johnson after a forearm smash in 1:10:54
        x Santino Marella entered at 1:12:00
        x Pete Gas entered at 1:14:00
        x Pete Gas threw out S. Marella in 1:14:55
        x Joey Abs defeated Pete Gas after a powerslam in 1:15:05
        x Bobby Dempsey entered at 1:16:00
        x Bull Buchanan entered at 1:18:00
        x Heidenreich entered at 1:20:00
        x Heidenreich threw out Joey Abs in 1:20:45
        x Johnny B. Badd entered at 1:22:00
        x Heidenreich threw out B. Dempsey after a bearhug in 1:22:08
        x Badd threw out Bull Buchanan in 1:23:18
        x Pat Patterson entered at 1:24:00
        x Badd threw out Patterson in 1:25:27
        x Chyna entered at 1:26:00
        x Badd threw out Chyna after a knee to the back in 1:26:13
        x Heidenreich threw out Badd in 1:27:26
        x Justin Credible entered at 1:28:00
        x Steve Blackman entered at 1:30:00
        x Jim Duggan entered at 1:32:00
        x Heidenreich threw out Duggan after an elbowdrop in 1:33:54
        x Tank Abbott entered at 1:34:00
        x Henry Godwinn entered at 1:36:00
        x Abbott threw out Blackman after a forearm to the back in 1:41:45
        x H. Godwinn defeated Abbott after the Slop Drop in 1:42:17
        x Heidenreich defeated H. Godwinn after the Spinning Side Slam in
          1:47:26
        x Credible defeated Heidenreich after a snap mare in 1:48:12
Rating: * 1/2
(Justin Credible won the OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title.)

Well folks we have a new champion. See you next time, whenever that is.
Rick GarrardPosted on 12/11/08 at 01:30:38

On 12/10/08 at 01:11:16, SolomattGrundy wrote:(Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Come Back to the Circuit Forums. I also decided to revive this circuit because I got an idea for a storyline, based on the main event of WCW Uncensored 1996.)
Through hellfire and brimstone... it has risen from the ashes!!!


Sid bounces to the floor and he grabs a squeegie! Sid has a squeegie and he enters the ring. HE BEATS KHALI WITH THE SQUEEGIE! Khali goes down as Sid stands in the ring. Feel the window washing tool of doom~! Perhaps this will lead to an epic match, like a Squeegie On a Pole Match down the road.
Will "Squeegie man" Mike Graham be involved too!?  :)

Does his evil know any bounds?
Evad and Festus teaming up... coming soon!?  :)

Glacier's entrance rules... too bad he sucks in the ring.

Michael Cole charges and Cole knocks Pacman to the floor! Cole raises his hand in the air, cheering and the Bushwhackers walk over to Cole, before Butch grabs him in a headlock and Luke licks in in the face.
And Cole actually likes it!!!  :)

Who comes out. Who steps into the ring. Who eliminates Hornswoggle. No I'm telling you, Who eliminated Hornswoggle! Who beats down Brisco and Elax until Rodney of Mean Street Posse fame comes out. Rodney steps into the ring and attacks Who until a football tackle brings Rodney down. Who chucks Rodney for the elimination
Who?  Who?  Who?  LOL


Stevie Ray comes out. Ray walks into the ring, talking about fruit booties and yaks.
WCW Thunder's best announcer!!!

Out comes Zach Gowen Oh come on, this is unfair, Gowen only has one leg, out can he lose a battle royal? Gowen hobbles into the ring, removing his prostetic leg
Yes that's right, BOTH feet must touch the floor!!!

Gowen gets bounced to the floor like a pinpong ball. Technically only one leg hit the floor, but does it really matter?
Just means that he has to be eliminated twice so his foot his the floor twice.  :)

It's now down to Credible and Heidenreich. No doubt these two epic gladiators will be locked in a field of battle for several hours until we decide a champion. Or Heidenreich could get kicked in the back of the head and pinned with a snap mare, which is what happened.
Dude, that finish is Just Not Credible!!!

Bah!!!
SolomattGrundyPosted on 12/11/08 at 02:43:41

OSW Feast of Fired 8/16/08

OSW Commissioner Todd Pettigill is out, saying that tonight is going to have the debut of the greatest gimmick match in wrestling history. FEAST OF FIRED~! The rules are simple. Fifteen men are in the ring. There will a pole in every corner with a briefcase. Three of the briefcases contain a title shot. One of them contains a shot at the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship. One of them contains a contract for a shot at the OSW Television Title. One of them contains a shot for the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship. The fourth and final briefcase contains a pink slip. That's right, the loser is fired. On an unrelated note, Marty Jannetty will be involved in this match, among others.

Out comes Zach Gowen, to boos. Last week, Gowen was robbed. He might have been thrown out both feet did not touch the floor. Therefore, he has filed a court injction where he will face Justin Credible for the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship. Pettigill announces that match will happen tonight.

Out comes Ernest Miller, someone better call his Momma. He calls out that panty waste Buff Bagwell and says The Cat's Momma could whoop Buff's Momma any day just like the Cat is going to whoop on Buff. Out comes Marcus Bagwell on crutches, with Judy Bagwell, who has the OSW Women's Championship draped over her shoulder. Tonight, her baby boy won't wrestle due to an injury he suffered. "American Males" plays and out comes Scotty Riggs. It appears the American Males are back together, one of the greatest teams to ever hold the WCW Tag Team Titles have returned to grace us with wrestling.

Scotty Riggs(w/Buff Bagwell and Judy Bagwell) vs. Ernest Miller

Miller whoops on Riggs, finishing him off with the Feliner in no time.


Ernest Miller pinned Scotty Riggs with the Feliner in 0:06:54.
Rating: 3/4*

Buff decks Miller with a crutch. Miller goes down as Buff beats on him. The Cat is down and the lights go out. The blue laser light show comes on, with the snow. As we watch another several hundred thousand dollars go down the drain, Glacier walks down to the ring, doing his karate moves. The American Males wisely bolt, not wanting to face the wrath of Glacier. Could an American Males vs. Ernest Miller/Glacier match be far off? Maybe, if we remember about this storyline when Buff is cleared to wrestle, but right now Glacier is a bit too late as the Cat has been laid out once again.

OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championships:
The Big Johnsons(w/the Iron Shiek) vs. Jailhouse Love(w/B. Brian Blair) vs. Snitskrieg and El Dandy(w/Michael Cole)

Given they don't have a manager, Snitskrieg and El Dandy, the unholy alliance, brought out Michael Cole. Heidenreich and Michael Cole have a history together. B. Brian Blair quickly puts his hands on the Iron Shiek's Johnson, but Shiek chases him(okay, Blair runs and Shiek walks), threatening to suplex him, put him in the camel clutch, break his back and...well you know. Both other teams are handing the Johnsons in the ring. Meanwhile in a SHOCKING SWERVE~!, Snitskrieg turns on El Dandy, kicking him right in the face. This allows Heidenreich to finish him off with a Spinning Side Slam to pin him and Jailhouse Love regain the titles.

Triangle Match:
Jailhouse Love (Nailz and Heidenreich) defeated
The Big Johnsons (Rod Johnson and Richard Johnson) and Snitskrieg and El Dandy
when Heidenreich pinned Dandy with the Spinning Side Slam in 0:07:07.
Rating: -* 3/4
(Jailhouse Love won the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship.)

Heidenreich and Snitskrieg beat down El Dandy in the ring as Nailz is confused. Obviously he was not let in the plan and Snitskrieg attacks Nailz from behind. Heidenreich shrugs and he helps beat Nailz down. Nailz is being destroyed. Afterwards, Snitkrieg turns and Alex Wright comes down to the ring. Alex Wright is on the microphone, saying the Fourth Reich has returned! The crowd boos, the Germans are back together. Heidenreich, Snitskrieg, and Alex Wright leave the ring, as there's no word on what's happening with the Those Are Nice Belts Championships.

Feast of Fired Match:
Featuring the likes of: Ahmed Johnson, Billy Gunn, Colin Delaney, Hornswoggle, Ice Train, Jesse, Jorge Estrada, Marty Jannetty, Ricky Morton, Robert Gibson, Santino Marella, Sean Waltman, Sonny Siaki, Stevie Ray

Lots of great technical wrestling in this match, including the fine art of scaling a pole. Colin Delaney nearly dies at the hands of Ahmed Johnson. Eventually, The Repo Man scales up a pole and grabs the first briefcase. Ricky Morton dropkicks Santino down, before he grabs a second briefcase. Briefcase number three goes to Marty Jannetty and Sonny Siaki beats out Santino for briefcase #4.

Repo Man, Ricky Morton, Marty Jannetty, and Sonny Siaki all grab briefcases.(** 1/2 rating for all of you keeping track at home

The briefcases will not be opened until some undetermined point in the future, but the four winners walk out, leaving eleven disgruntled losers in the ring.

El Dandy is tearing up the backstage in anger, wanting to get his hands on those Fourth Reich jackasses but a man dressed in hooded robe attacks El Dandy from behind. Dandy is being beaten down. He tries to fight back against this no good doubter of El Dandy but the hooded man is just too strong and he beats down Dandy, before throwing him into a wall. The man removes his hood to reveal Silver King! That's El Dandy's former tag team partner in WCW. Obviously he was jealous at the success and fame his former partner has and lashed out against him. The Confederation of the Doubters of El Dandy will destroy Dandy soon, at least according to Silver King.  

OSW Television Title Match
Jim Duggan vs. Sylvain Grenier

Grenier walks out for the countout because he's French.


Jim Duggan defeated Sylvain Grenier by countout in 0:00:07.
Rating: -1/2*
(Sylvain Grenier retained the OSW Television Title.)

Duggan is upset at this but titles can't change hands on a countout or disqualification. He chases Grenier down the aisle, to the back and beyond.

OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship:
Zach Gowen vs. Justin Credible(c)

Before this match gets going, Kevin Sullivan leads out Festus, on a chain with a dog collar and the ring bell. It should be noted that we had to do without a bell all night because Kevin Sullivan stole it last week when he kidnapped Festus. So, Sullivan puts a chair in Festus's hand, before he leads him into the ring as Gowen and Credible trade moves. Sullivan raises the bell, removing a hammer from his robe of pure evilness and rings it! Festus storms the ring and waylays Credible with the steel chair! That's a disqualification folks!

Justin Credible defeated Zach Gowen by disqualification in 0:02:31.
Rating: *
(Justin Credible retained the OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title.)
[Festus interfered against Justin Credible.]

Festus wipes out Gowen with a vicious chairshot as he is going wild and Sullivan slides in the ring. Festus goes for Sullivan but Sullivan raises the hammer before he rings the bell again. Festus is back to his harmless self as Sullivan chains him up like an animal again before he walks over as Gowen tries to pull himself up. Sullivan kicks his leg out from underneath his leg, just to be mean. He then steals the championship belt, the cad. Sullivan walks out with the belt, with Festus on a chain, the bell under his arm. I bet he's the main cause of global warming too!

NEXT WEEK: Stuff. Maybe we'll reveal whose briefcase has what. Khali/Sid Part II, Squeegie On a Pole too.
SolomattGrundyPosted on 12/13/08 at 21:18:50

OSW Dandymania Running Wild 8/23/08

OSW General Manager Todd Pettigill is out to announce that The Great Khali/Sid battle will not be taking place, due to Sid having a charity softball game tonight. Therefore, we have a suitable replacement for tonight, featuring El Dandy squaring off against the Great Khali for the very first time. The fans pop big time for this world class match.

Sonny Siaki vs. Marty Jannetty vs. The Repo Man vs. Ricky Morton

These are the four men who have won the briefcases in Feast or Fired. The rules of this match are very simple. Whomever scores the pinfall will either get an opportunity to switch briefcases with their opponents or keep theirs. Either way, one briefcase will be opened, with the other three at some undetermined point in the future. Sonny Siaki pins Marty Jannetty to win the match after several minutes of great technical wrestling action, including some chinlocks and armbars.

Four Corners Match:
Sonny Siaki defeated Ricky Morton, The Repo Man and Marty Jannetty when Siaki
pinned Jannetty with the Siakoylpse NOW in 0:05:53.
Rating: * 1/4

Todd Pettigill is the ring, Siaki can open his briefcase and switch with Jannetty to open that one. Siaki laughs, stating that it is obvious that Jannetty got the fired one, so he would be an idiot to switch that. He remarks that he's hoping for a Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship match and he opens the briefcase. Siaki looks pissed as he has received the pinkslip! In a shocking swerve, Marty Jannetty has not been fired. Rather Sonny Siaki has been fired from OSW and we wish him the best in his future endeavors.

Ernest Miller is backstage, promising to whoop on Scotty Riggs in tonights Brawl for All Match. Miller says he's a three time former world karate champion and a former WCW Commissioner, so he knows how to fight. He is going to whoop on Scotty Riggs and someone better call his mama.

Brawl for All Match:
Scotty Riggs(w/Buff Bagwell and the OSW Women's Champion Judy Bagwell) vs. Ernest Miller

Standard toughman fare for the first round. Ernest Miller hurts himself towards the end of the round and exactly as the second round ends, the match is stopped.

Brawl For All:
Scotty Riggs defeated Ernest Miller via second-round technical knockout at the 00:00 mark.
Ernest Miller tore his right bicep.  He will be out for approximately 6 cards.

Ernest Miller is down and Buff enters the ring on crutches, to laugh at him. The lights go out and the spectacular entrance of lasers and falling snow brings out Glacier. Glacier reaches the ring about fifteen minutes later, but the American Males have already left the ring!

Kevin Sullivan is backstage with Festus on a leash. Tonight he has challenged Jesus. No not that one HEY-ZEUS! You know, the guy who stabbed John Cena for Carlito. Okay, no one really remembers that guy, but since his name resembles a certain other famous person, Sullivan challenges Jesus to a Cross Match. Kevin Sullivan concludes this interview by saying that evil will sweep OSW wrestling and he holds up the title belt that he stole last week.

Cross Match:
Jesus vs. Kevin Sullivan(w/Festus)

We still haven't gotten a new bell after Sullivan stole it two weeks ago to control Festus. Sure enough, Sullivan removes the bell from his evil, yet fashionable robe, and rings it. Festus goes into a rampage, stiffing the shit out of Jesus. Jesus is being beaten to a bloody pulp and Festus annihilates him with a choke lift into a sitdown power bomb. Sullivan rings the bell and walks over, calling strapping Jesus to the cross for the easy win.

Cross Match:
Kevin Sullivan defeated Jesus in 0:05:56.
Rating: 3/4*

Festus is lead backstage but out comes his former tag team partner Jesse. Jesse is arguing with Sullivan who grins before rinning the bell. FESTUS ATTACKS HIS OWN PARTNER! Festus is beating on Jesse, he's flown into a rampage. Sullivan has no doubt messed with his mind. Festus is choking Jesse on the ramp, with a sadistic look in his eyes. Sullivan rings the bell and leads Festus off as Jesse spits up blood.

We see Nailz backstage, who looks very depressed, with one of the OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Championship. He thought him and Heidenreich had something special, but Heidenreich turned on him last week. What does he have that Snitskrieg doesn't? What is he doing wrong? Nailz says he can change. He punches a locker, saying that he could change, for his special friend, Heidenreich.

El Dandy is backstage and he's pissed at this new mysterious group, the Confederation of the People Who Doubt El Dandy. He challenges them, whoever they are, to a match so barbaric that it has been only used one time in wrestling history, THE DOOMSDAY CAGE MATCH~! Three tiers of madness, where he has to fight down towards his greatest enemies. If Dandy wins, he gets a shot at the championship, if he loses, people will be permitted to doubt El Dandy. Dandy lays down the gauntlet, for three weeks from now. As for the Great Khali. he is just another speedbump in the way.

Non Title Match:
Nailz and Heidenreich(w/B. Brian Blair) vs two scrubs

Heidenreich refused to get into the ring and Nailz looked all depressed. When the two jabronis attack him from behind, Nailz beats the hell out of them, before pinning one of them with a clothesline. Afterwards, Nailz goes back to being emo.

Jailhouse Love (Nailz and Heidenreich) defeated Mitsuharu Misawa and Jun Akiyama
when Nailz pinned M. Misawa after a clothesline in 0:02:35.
Rating: 3/4*

Judy Bagwell is backstage where some comes face to face with the former OSW Women's Champion Billy Gunn. Gunn says its a disgrace that a woman is holding the OSW Women's Champion. He won't stand for Judy Bagwell bastardizing the legacy of that championship belt any longer. Judy says she'd whip Gunns ass if the American Males weren't about to do it right now. Sure enough, Scotty Riggs and Buff Bagwell attack Billy Gunn, stomping a mudhole in him. Afterwards, the Males stand over Gunn and give him the clap.

OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship:
Brad Armstrong vs. Justin Credible(c)

Credible has non title belt, because Kevin Sullivan stole it. He gets knocked around by Brad Armstrong. In fact, Brad makes Credible his personal bitch in the ring, knocking him around until Credible goes to the eyes and runs to the back for a countout loss. Brad Armstrong wins the match but not the championship.

Brad Armstrong defeated Justin Credible by countout in 0:05:17.
Rating: **
(Justin Credible retained the OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title.)

The Iron Sheik is backstage, ranting about faggots and humbling, when Chris Kanyon walks up, dressed in a frilly pink robe with a feather boa. The Sheik stops to stare at Kanyon. Kanyon says he at one time he has been called Positively Kanyon but now he is Fabolously Kanyon. The Sheik looks disgusted, threatening to humble Kanyon. Kanyon turns around before running into the American Males. Billy Gunn runs down the hallway, looking pissed at what the American Males did to him. Kanyon turns to the camera, sighing.

OSW NEEDS MORE KANE!

It's time for the main event. The Great Khali comes to the ringside area on a cart. He enters the ring, looking ready and a certain beat kicks up on the PA system, with altered lyrics.

I'm A Dandy Man
Fight for the Rights Like Only Dandy Can
I'm A Dandy Man
If You Douby El Dandy, You're Going Down

Out comes El Dandy, posing, cupping his head to his ears, tearing off his shirt. I'm told El Dandy invented this routine and who am I to doubt El Dandy.

The Great Khali vs. El Dandy

Staredown to start. Dandy punches away at Khali and goes for a bodyslam but Khali collapses on top of him for a close nearfall. The match shifts to Khali, with a bit of the advantage going Dandy's way. Such high impact moves like chops, bodyslams, and backbreakers. Extended bearhug as well. Tree Slam but Dandy fights up. He's Dandying up. Punches by Dandy and he whips Khali into the ropes. Boot to the face. Khali is staggered and Dandy raises the roof. Can he do it? He scoops up Khali. El Dandy just slams the Great Khali! Dandy bounces off the ropes and delivers a legdrop. He covers Khali hooking the leg to score the pin!

El Dandy pinned The Great Khali after a legdrop in 0:15:12.
Rating: -** 1/4

El Dandy would like to remind us that this match did in no way whatsoever blantantly rip off one of the most famous matches in wrestling history. Once again, who are we to doubt El Dandy. Dandy poses in the ring but the lights go out. The lights are out, maybe someone forgot to pay the power bill. We see a bunch of hooded figures moving though the dark, or maybe we don't see that as it is dark. We see several beating and cracking sounds in the darkness, before the lights come back on. El Dandy is left in the center of the ring, knocked unconcious. Only a sick person who doubts El Dandy would do something like that.

Next Week: Kevin Sullivan is evil, matches happen, briefcases are open, Snitskrieg will be in the house and much more!
MattHarmsPosted on 12/26/08 at 03:01:56

(And now without further adieu)

OSW A Dandy Good Time 8/30/08

Out comes OSW Commissioner Todd Pettigill with Ricky Morton, Repo Man, and Marty Jannetty, all with their Feast or Fired Briefcases. Pettigill announces a main event of Silver King and the Great Khali against El Dandy and Sid Vicious tonight. Now it is time to look at what is in these briefcases, after Sonny Siaki was fired last week. The Repo Man cackles as he opens his briefcase first, before he looks into it, to reveal a OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Championship Title Shot. The crowd is in shock, the Repo Man doesn't seem like a team player yet he is the one to get a tag team title shot. Ricky Morton opens his briefcase and reveals a shot at the OSW Television Championship, which he looks pleased about and Marty Jannetty's eyes widened, when he releases what he holds in his hands. He opens it and sure enough Marty Jannetty has a shot at the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship. He looks smug, as he asks Pettigill if they can be fired with these briefcases. He shakes his head, saying that they can't be fired, until they cash in on the title shot. Jannetty looks calculating, but Pettigill adds that they have only ninety days as of tonight to cash in or otherwise their contract is null and void. So Jannetty can't hold onto the contract forever as some kind of failsafe to stop the inevitable but they can be cashed in at any time.

Kevin Sullivan and Festus vs. The Heartbreakers

It should be noted that Kevin Sullivan still has the bell that he stole when he kidnapped Festus and OSW hasn't replaced it yet. The Heartbreakers manage to catch Sullivan off guard in the early going but Sullivan rolls to the floor, tagging Festus in before he rings the bell. Festus runs over Romeo and Antonio, destroying them, before he finishes off Romeo with an over the shoulder gutbuster, pinning him. Sullivan rings the bell again, putting Festus in his submissive state.

Kevin Sullivan and Festus defeated
The Heart Throbs (Romeo Roselli and Antonio Thomas) when Festus pinned Romeo
with the Over the Shoulder Gutbuster in 0:05:43.
Rating: * 1/4

Festus leaves the ring with Sullivan but Jesse is on the ramp. He wants Sullivan in the ring one on one next week but he doesn't want just any match. HE WANTS A RINGBELL ON A POLE MATCH! Somewhere, Vince Russo creams himself as Sullivan accepts the challenge.

El Dandy is backstage, as it is announced that Sid Vicious's softball game is running late and he might be able to make it. However, Dandy vows to go at it alone against Silver King and the Great Khali, just like he is going to be when he faces off against the Confederation of the People Who Doubt El Dandy in two weeks in the Doomsday Cage Match. Dandy promises to defeat them, whoever they are. A hooded figure walks backstage, telling Dandy "we will be revealed tonight", before walking off.

Snitskrieg vs job boy

Snitskrieg runs over the jobber, ending his night with a vicious kick to the face.


Snitskrieg pinned Kenta Kobashi after a kick to the face in 0:03:47.
Rating: **

Snitskrieg gets on the microphone, demanding a shot at the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship and Justin Credible, saying that Credible is nothing but a fluke and Snitskrieg will beat him down in the ring. He also says that Nailz is really pissing him off and he will beat him, if he stops trying to maneuver in on Heidenreich. Snitskrieg says it won't be his fault if anything bad happens to Nailz.

Robert Gibson is backstage, with Ricky Morton. Gibson has returned from a traumatic ass related injury at the hands of Jailhouse Love and looks stoked to put the Rock N Roll Express back together, but Morton shakes his head, saying he has a singles career to worry about. and the OSW Television Championship. Gibson is dejected, upset that Morton grabbed the wrong briefcase. Tonight Gibson is going to face off against Don Harris in his return match but there is trouble on the Rock N Roll Express.

Ron Harris(w/Don Harris) vs. Jim Duggan

Duggan beats down Ron until Don switches him. Duggan doesn't see it and gets rolled up into a surprise small package for the pin.

Ron Harris pinned Jim Duggan after a small package in 0:05:33.
Ron Harris suffered an elbow injury. He will be out for approximately 1 card.
Rating: 1/2*

The Harris Twins run off and Duggan walks around, looking mad.

Judy Bagwell is backstage, with the American Males. Judy is pissed that she has to defend her belt against that "little tramp, Kelly Kelly." In walks Fabolously Kanyon, as Judy tells him to keep his distance, because she remembered what he did to her back in WCW. Kanyon rolls his eyes, saying she should have gotten over that "Judy Bagwell on a forklift" thing years ago. Kanyon says that their type has to stick together, as he looks at the American Males. Buff looks confused, wondering what he is talking about before Riggs whispers into his ear, and Bagwell looks offended, saying that Kanyon better get out before he gets hurt. Kanyon walks off, saying that they can't talk to someone as Fabolous as he is like that.

Out come Jailhouse Love who will defend those OSW Those Are Some Nice Championships Titles. Heidenreich isn't even giving Nailz any eye contact. As for the the challengers...SEND IN THE CLOWNS!

OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship:
The Insane Clown Posse vs. Jailhouse Love(c)

The Clowns were booed and Jailhouse Love made short work of them, despite not getting along. Heidenreich pins Shaggy to retain the titles.

Jailhouse Love (Nailz and Heidenreich) defeated Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J
when Heidenreich pinned Shaggy with the Spinning Side Slam in 0:05:40.
Rating: -* 3/4
(Jailhouse Love retained the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship.)

Heidenreich and Nailz have retained the belts for another week, despite being on the outs BUT IN COME THE JOHNSONS! The Johnsons run down to the ring and attack Nailz, but Heidenreich bails, with his belt. The Johnsons are beating down Nailz in the center of the ring. They want those belts, as the Iron Sheik looks on approvingly from the ramp.

Billy Gunn is backstage, in Todd Pettigill's office, complaining about Judy Bagwell defouling the storied legacy of the OSW Women's Championship by defending it against other women. It is an outrage, who ever heard of two women, fighting for the Women's Championship? Pettigill asks Gunn if he gives him a Television Championship against Sylvain Grenier, will he shut up? Gunn nods, but says he won't let this injustice of women holding the Women's Championship go unpunished for long.

OSW Women's Championship Match:
Kelly Kelly vs. Judy Bagwell(c)(w/The American Males)

Kelly manages to knock Judy off balance a bit but Riggs is on the apron, allowing Marcus Bagwell to roll into the ring, to deck Kelly Kelly with a steel chair. Judy hits a swinging neckbreaker and scores an academic pin to retain the OSW Women's Championship.


Judy Bagwell pinned Kelly Kelly after a swinging neckbreaker in 0:05:46.
Rating: -**
(Judy Bagwell retained the OSW Women's Title.)
[Marcus Bagwell interfered against Kelly Kelly.]

The crowd is booing as Judy Bagwell has won with the American Males but out comes Ernest Miller. The Cat walks out, saying that that chump Riggs might have put on the shelf but he's not done with those punk ass pretty boys in the American Males. Right now, Ernest says that someone did in fact call his momma and she wants a piece of Judy Bagwell for that OSW Women's Championship. Judy accepts the challenge, saying that she is going to beat anyone, man and woman, to keep her belt and break the Fabolous Moolah's record as the longest reigning women's champion. So next week in will be Judy Bagwell putting that OSW Women's Championship on the line against Ernest "The Cat" Miller's Momma!

Robert Gibson vs. Don Harris(w/Ron Harris)

Usual fare here until the twins pull off the switch which leads into a cradle for the pin.


Don Harris pinned Robert Gibson after a small package in 0:05:31.
Rating: *

And Gibson is being double teamed by the Harris Brothers, but no Ricky Morton to make the save. HERE COMES DUGGAN! Duggan runs out and chases off the Harris Brothers with a two by four, to cheers from the crowd. Duggan stomps around the ring, giving a loud "ho!", as Gibson is up, shaken up from that beating.

Non Title Match:
Tatanka(BUFFALO!) vs. OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Champion Justin Credible

Credible attempted but he was no match for the power of Tatanka(BUFFALO!). Tatanka(BUFFALO!) pins him after a flying Tomahawk and the End's Trail. Yes, the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Champion loses again.

Tatanka pinned Justin Credible with the Trail's End in 0:05:44.
Rating: ***

The crowd is cheering as Tatanka has won a non title match which should lead to a title shot, at least that's what conventional wisdom would state.

OSW Television Championship Match:
Billy Gunn vs. Sylvain Grenier(c)

Gunn catches Grenier off balance until the American Males stir up shit at ringside. Grenier rolls up Gunn for the pin.

Sylvain Grenier pinned Billy Gunn after a roll up in 0:08:49.
Rating: -1/2*
(Sylvain Grenier retained the OSW Television Title.)
[Marcus Bagwell interfered against Billy Gunn.]

The American Males enter the ring, double teaming Billy Gunn. Riggs stands over Gunn, giving him the clap, as Bagwell poses until the crowd is on their feet. FABOLOUSLY KANYON RUNS OUT(Glacier's entrance wasn't in the budget for this week). Kanyon enters the ring and knocks the American Males down to the canvas, before Billy Gunn attacks Kanyon from behind, in a shocking swerve, before drilling him with the Fame-Asser. Gunn gets on the microphone. saying he hates Kanyon's type and tells him if he has a problem with that he can SUCK IT! This is of course coming from a man who is obessed with being Women's Champion.

Handicap Match:
Silver King and The Great Khali vs. El Dandy

No Sid, no problem, as Dandy breezes through both men, with a few offensive moves, but Dandy wraps up Silver King with the Dandina Cradle.


Handicap-Match:
El Dandy defeated Silver King and The Great Khali when Dandy pinned S. King
with the Dandina Cradle in 0:11:39.
Rating: 3/4*

Out comes the hooded figure who pulls down his hood revealing KEVIN SULLIVAN! Kevin Sullivan was the leader of the Confederation of the People Who Doubt El Dandy and he says that the two men Dandy beat in the ring tonight will be nothing compared to the ten men he will face in two weeks inside the Doomsday Cage. He introduces the Fourth Reich of Alex Wright, Heidenreich, and Snitskrieg, who was reformed with Sullivan's evil influence. Sullivan pulls out the bell and raises it, before he rings it. Festus slides into the ring from behind Dandy with a chair and HE ASSAULTS DANDY WITH A SERIES OF VICIOUS CHAIRSHOTS! Dandy has been brought down by Festus and Festus has left him in a pool of his own blood. Festus is a dangerous man if he can do something to that to El Dandy and he's under the influence of that diabolical Kevin Sullivan. Sullivan rings the bell, ringing Festus back into his normal state and says he will introduce the other five men next week and in two weeks, they will seal El Dandy's final fate in OSW and then Kevin Sullivan's evil will spread unchecked.

Next Week: OSW Women's Champion Judy Bagwell defends her belt against Ernest Miller's Momma and Jesse takes on Kevin Sullivan in a Bell on a Pole Match.
MattHarmsPosted on 12/27/08 at 02:55:23

OSW One Week to Doomsday 9/6/08

We are one week away from the Doomsday Cage Match where El Dandy faces the Evil Confederation of the Doubters of El Dandy in a ten on one handicap multi deckered cage match. We know five men in Kevin Sullivan, Festus, Alex Wright, Snitskrieg, and Heidenreich and tongiht we get to learn the other five men. A preview for next week tonight, as Festus faces El Dandy in what should be a blockbuster main event match.

Out comes Kevin Sullivan, with a group of five men in the ring. Tonight they are the sacrificial lambs for the one, the only, Kurrgan. Kurrgan is the newest member of the confederation of the people who doubt El Dandy.

Kurrgan(w/Kevin Sullivan) vs. five jabronis

Squash as Kurrgan destroys everyone, before pinning one of the jobbers with the Sidewalk Slam. Kurrgan is a monster and he destroyed El Dandy.

Handicap-Match:
Kurrgan defeated The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin), Nig
el McGuinness, Bryan Danielson and Austin Aries when Kurrgan pinned C. Sabin
with the Sidewalk Slam in 0:02:26.
Rating: *

Bobby Walker is backstage, with Sonny Onoo bitching about getting discriminated against. Fabolously Kanyon walks backstage, nodding, saying he knows how its like to be hated because of what you are. He says that Walker should fight the good fight but Kanyon talks about how he wants a match with Billy Gunn next week. Kanyon will beat Billy Gunn and make him his bitch. Onoo looks disturbed, before he says tonight Walker will beat Ricky Morton tonight and prove that he should receive a shot at the OSW Television Championship, not that white boy Ricky Morton.

Bobby Walker(w/Sonny Onoo) vs. Ricky Morton

Walker uses the ropes for leverage but only gets a two count when the referee catches him. He bitches about this and Morton rolls him up, using the ropes. Naturally the referee doesn't see this, counting the pin.

Ricky Morton pinned Bobby Walker after a rolling cradle in 0:07:42.
Rating: 3/4*

Ice Train runs out and attacks Ricky Morton, beating him in the center of the ring. Morton is getting beaten down in the ring. Mark Henry(remember him), comes out, beating up Ricky Morton as well. No Robert Gibson making the save but out comes MAE YOUNG! Mae Young runs down from the back, making a beeline towards Mark Henry. Henry bails, not wanting anything to do with Mae Young. Ice Train and Bobby Walker leave as Mae Young throws her arms around Ricky Morton, before giving him a big kiss. She is basically molesting Ricky Morton before she backs off. Morton stops, but he has a big wide smile on his face and hands Mae a hotel room key, saying he'll see her after he's done with the rats. Morton walks off, as Mark Henry looks jealous.

The Repo Man is out in the ring, announcing that he has a shot at the OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Championships and he looked far and wide for a tag team partner. He has called in an old friend and they will take those belts in several weeks. The strains of "I'm the Mountie" plays and out comes the Mountie, as the Repo Man laughs. These two men are a dastardly duo.

The Repo Man and the Mountie vs the Real Horsemen(Paul Roma and Steve McMichael)

The Repo Man and the Mountie win this match against the two men who have carried the Four Horsemen throughout the years. Roma was put on the Carotid Control Techique, by the Mountie, who submits Roma.

The Repo Man and The Mountie defeated
The Real Horsemen (Steve McMichael and Paul Roma) when Mountie made Roma
submit to the Carotid Control Technique in 0:07:22.
Rating: 1/2*

Judy Bagwell is backstage, seducing OSW General Manager Todd Pettigill. She manages to get him to give the American Males a shot at the OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Championship tonight. Judy also adds that when Kanyon and Billy Gunn fight next week, if Gunn loses, he will never be able to challenge for the OSW Women's Title as long as she is champion. If Gunn wins, he gets a title shot of course, when Judy Bagwell gets to him. Pettigill says he will draw up the contract right now for both matches, with a goofy smile on his face as Bagwell leaves, the OSW Women's Championship over her shoulder, as she prepares to face off against Ernest Miller's Momma.

Two Out of Three Falls, Number One Contender's Match:
Stevie Ray vs. Jim Duggan

Both of these men compete for a title shot at an unnamed title, at some point in the future. Stevie Ray gets the first fall with the Slapjack in a short amount of time. Duggan fights back, catching Ray with a roll up. Both men trade punches and kicks, which Duggan delivers a Three Point Stance to win the third and deciding fall, getting his unnamed title shot at some point in the future that will be named.

Number-One-Contenders-Two-out-of-three-Falls Match:
Jim Duggan beat Stevie Ray 2 falls to 1:
        x S. Ray beat Duggan via the Slapjack in 0:08:53
        x Duggan beat S. Ray via a roll up in 0:11:46
        x Duggan beat S. Ray via the Three Point Stance in 0:14:56
Rating: -*

Out comes Kevin Sullivan, who announces the seventh and eighth man on his team, Curtis Hughes and Nathan Jones. The crowd boos, as these two big bruisers are on the team. Sullivan is stacking the deck against El Dandy.

Curtis Hughes and Nathan Jones vs. two scrubs

Squash for the team of Hughes and Jones, with Jones pinning one of the jabronis with a huge choke slam.


Curtis Hughes and Nathan Jones defeated Triple H and Shawn Michaels when
N. Jones pinned Triple H with the Choke Slam in 0:06:47.
Rating: * 3/4

OSW Women's Championship Match:
Ernest Miller's Momma(w/Ernest Miller) vs. Judy Bagwell(w/the American Males)(c)

Ernest Miller's Momma looks suspiciously like Sonny Siaki in drag, but it can't be, as he was fired and OSW always honors their stipuatlions. Bagwell and Miller get into a fight on the floor, with Riggs distracting the referee, allowing Judy to low blow "Mrs. Miller", before scoring the pin.


Judy Bagwell pinned Ernest Miller's Momma after a low blow in 0:07:23.
Rating: 3/4*
(Judy Bagwell retained the OSW Women's Title.)

Judy Bagwell beats on Ernest Miller's Momma until Ernest Miller enters the ring and lays her out with the roundhouse kick. In come the American Males, who double team Miller, before standing over him, to give him the clap. Out comes Billy Gunn, to get him a piece of the American Males but Kanyon gets him from behind. Kanyon beats down Billy Gunn, laying him out with the Flatliner on the arena floor, as the American Males leave for their OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship Match unscathed.

Ring Bell on the Pole:
Jesse vs. Kevin Sullivan(w/Festus)

Sullivan has an ace up his sleeve, another ring bell that he has stashed in his robe. He rings it, causing Festus to jump into the ring, beating down Jesse, allowing Sullivan to climb the pole. Festus beats up his own partner, laying him out with several over the shoulder gutbusters as Sullivan climbs down, decking Jesse with the bell before delivering the Double Stomp for the pin.

Ring Bell on a Pole Match:
Kevin Sullivan pinned Jesse with the Double Stomp in 0:12:42.
Rating: * 3/4
[Festus interfered against Jesse.]

Festus continues to beat on Jesse until MICHAEL HAYES RUNS OUT TO MAKE THE SAVE! Hayes rushes into the ring, attacking Festus, beating him back but Sullivan attacks him from behind. Sullivan motions from the back and out comes Viscera, who attacks Hayes, from behind, delivering the big splash. Another big splash as Sullivan announces his ninth member of the Confederation of the People Who Doubt El Dandy...VISCERA!

El Dandy is backstage, saying he is not impressed. In fact he doubts that Sullivan and his cronies can get anything done. When Dandy wins the Doomsday Cage Match, he will become the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Champion. Dandy doesn't even remember who holds the belt but that must mean he's just not credible.

OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Championship Match:
The American Males vs. Jailhouse Love(c)

The problems between Nailz and Heidenreich are just too much, their timing is all over the place. Eventually, Heidenreich walks out in disgust, leaving Nailz at the mercy of the American Males. Riggs connects with a flying dropkick and pins Nailz. We have new OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Champions!

The American Males (Scotty Riggs and Marcus Bagwell) defeated
Jailhouse Love (Nailz and Heidenreich) when Riggs pinned Nailz after
a flying dropkick in 0:08:57.
Rating: -**
(The American Males won the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship.)

Festus vs El Dandy

A great marathon of a match of exciting technical wrestling and lucha libre. This excellent match was ended when that evil prick Kevin Sullivan attacked Dandy with the chair for the disqualification.

El Dandy defeated Festus by disqualification in 0:42:27.
Rating: DUD
[Kevin Sullivan interfered against El Dandy.]

Dandy fights off Sullivan but out comes the OSW OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Champion Justin Credible who decks Dandy with a singapore cane from behind. Dandy fights, but Curtis Hughes, Nathan Jones, Kurrgan, Viscera, and the Fourth Reich run out. El Dandy is being ragtagged by the Confenderation of the People who doubt El Dandy, but he fights back, sending all of the heels packing Dandymania is running wild! Justin Credible is the tenth member of the team, by the way.

Next Week: El Dandy versus the world, in the Doomday Cage Match. Also, Kanyon and Billy Gunn collide.
MattHarmsPosted on 01/03/09 at 00:00:32

OSW Doomsday Cage Match 9/13/08

We cut to the triple tiered cage on the ramp. That is where El Dandy will face off against the Confenderation of the People that Doubt El Dandy tonight.

Out comes the new OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Champions, the American Males, along with Judy Bagwell, who is the OSW Women's champion. The American Males crow of their great triumph, talking about how they beat Nailz and Heidenreich. They are not only tag team partners in the ring but tag team partners in life and they will continue to double team other men. Out comes Ernest "The Cat" Miller, who is pissed off at the American Males, saying he can't believe a couple of corn flake chumps like them are the champions. Miller says that Blood Runs Cold is the greatest tag team in wrestling history and when his arm heals, he is going to give the American Males a run for his money and him and Glacier are going to put a whoopin on them. The only reason they are the champions is because Judy Bagwell slept with Todd Pettigill. Judy seems outraged at those accusations and tells Marcus to kick his ass. Marcus obligies as he walks down to the ramp but the Cat might be able to handle Bagwell with one arm but out comes security. We aren't going to give away this epic enounter just yet.

The Repo Man and the Mountie vs. prelim bums

The Repo Man won a OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts tag team shot that he has to cash in sometime in the next three months in Feast or Fired and when that match happens, the Mountie will be his partner. The Mountie always gets his man and tonight was no exception as he chokes out one of the jobbers for the victory.

The Mountie and The Repo Man defeated John Morrison and The Miz when Mountie
made Miz submit to the Carotid Control Technique in 0:03:51.
Rating: **

Ricky Morton is backstage with a shit eating grin on his face. He said last week with Mae Young was better than all the rats he brought up to his room in his career put together, she took a ride on the Rock and Roll Express. He reminds us that he has an OSW Television Championship shot that he will cash in and he will defeat Sylvain or whoever the champion is but MARK HENRY ATTACKS RICKY MORTON FROM BEHIND! Morton is beaten down in the backstage area, with Henry slamming him into all sorts of things and pouring hot coffee on him. Henry is yelling at Morton to stay away from his hand baby's mother. Morton is out and he has a match with Stevie Ray tonight!

Winner Receives an OSW Women's Championship Title Match:
Nicole Bass vs. Chyna vs. Santino Marella

Poor Santino plays a pinpong ball to the other two women. The two big women beat each other up knocking each other out. Santino staggers and falls on top of Bass's groin with a headbutt. This causes her great pain and Santino manages to get on top of Nicole Bass, to score the pin. Santino Marella will face Judy Bagwell for the OSW Women's Championship at some point in the future.


[Winner Receives a Women's Championship Match]: Triangle Match:
Santino Marella defeated Nicole Bass and Chyna when S. Marella pinned Bass
after a headbutt to the groin in 0:05:40.
Rating: -** 1/4

Santino gets on the microphone, pumping his fist into the air, saying that he is now going to challenge for the OSW Women's Championship Belt. He says that Judy Bagwell is not fit to hold that belt. She should be in the kitchen, cooking Santino's dinner and helping Santino make a baby. Out comes Snitskreig from the back, who asks if Santino said that Judy Bagwell's going to help him cook babies and if so, could he stop by for dinner? Santino says that's not what he was talking about and Snitskrieg walks off, looking dejected and sad. Santino finishes off the promo, saying he is the only person man enough to become OSW Women's Champion.

Robert Gibson and Jim Duggan vs. the Harris Brothers

Sadly, Gibson and Duggan are no Rock N Roll Express. They tried but the dastardly double switching of the Harris Brothers did them in.


The Harris Brothers (Ron Harris and Don Harris) defeated
Robert Gibson and Jim Duggan when Heavy D pinned R. Gibson after a roll up in
          0:04:53.
Rating: 3/4*

The American Males are backstage, when they are informed that they are going to put their belts on the line against former WCW World Tag Team Champions that can be considered Outsiders, that have so much Heat that you would think they were from Harlem. In fact, they might caused the American Males to meet their Doom. It doesn't matter who it is, as the American Males are ready.

Mike Enos vs "Stone Cold" Colin Delaney

Colin comes to the ring, with a shaved head, black trunks, knee pads, and boots, along with a clunky knee brace on each knee. He flips off Mike Enos and Enos beats him down to a pulp. Enos is taking no shit, obviously taking out his agression on Delaney but he climbs to the top rope and gets crotched. Enos falls off and Delaney kicks him before hooking him in a 3/4 facelock bulldog. We understand that move is called the Stone Cold Stunner, a completely original move that has not been done anywhere in the history of wrestling. Delaney covers Enos and scores the pin. Afterwards, Delaney calls for a beer and staggers around drunk after drinking a couple of sips.

"Stone Cold" Colin Delaney pinned Mike Enos with the Stone Cold Stunner in 0:04:51.
Rating: * 1/4

Ricky Morton vs. Stevie Ray

Morton staggers around in the ring, looking rather beaten from Mark Henry and Stevie Ray picks him apart in no time. Slapjack pins Morton in short order. Not a very good showing for a man who has an OSW Television Championship Title shot coming soon.


Stevie Ray pinned Ricky Morton with the Slapjack in 0:02:05.
Rating: *

Sylvain Grenier is in the ring, with the OSW Television Championship Title Belt strapped around his waist, bragging about how he has been the champion for quite some time but out comes Todd Pettigill. Todd says that he will defend the belt against the number one contender, according the top ten rankings put together by OSW managemen. Who is the number one contender based on those rankings. Grenier tells Pettigill to quick stalling and tell him who is his opponent. Pettigill says he will tell him that because it's the truth and out comes Who.

OSW Television Champion:
Who vs. Sylvain Grenier(c)

We might very well have a new OSW Television Champion champion as Who batters Grenier for this match until Grenier goes to the eyes and runs to the back. The referee counts but Grenier doesn't come back and thus it is a countout. Who wins the match but Who is not the OSW Television Champion


Who defeated Sylvain Grenier by countout in 0:06:37.
Rating: -* 1/2
(Sylvain Grenier retained the OSW Television Title.)

OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Championships
Bunkhouse Buck and Dick Slater vs. the American Males(c)(w/Judy Bagwell)

Buck and Slater are the mystery team, they had an epic title reign in 1995 in World Championship Wrestling and look to want to unseat the American Males tonight. Buck and Slater pound the Males, but the Males fight back, nice double teaming offense. The American Males are the masters of double teaming other men and their experience in that field pays off when Bagwell pins Bunk with a fisherman suplex as Riggs cuts off Slater.

The American Males (Scotty Riggs and Marcus Bagwell) defeated
Bunkhouse Buck and Dick Slater when Bagwell pinned B. Buck after
a fisherman suplex in 0:07:31.
Rating: 1/4*
(The American Males retained the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship.)

Kanyon vs. Billy Gunn

If Kanyon wins, then Billy Gunn can't challenge for the OSW Women's Championship as long as Judy Bagwell is champion. If Gunn wins, he gets a title shot, right after Santino Marella, apparently. Both men don't even lock up as the American Males rush into the ring and shamelessly attack Kanyon right in front of the referee for the disqualification, meaning no more title shots for Billy Gunn!


Kanyon defeated Billy Gunn by disqualification in 0:00:18.
Rating: *
[Marcus Bagwell interfered against Kanyon.]

Gunn attacks the American Males in a blind rage, beating them down but they fight back with a Double Dropkick. Kanyon is up but Ernest "The Cat" Miller runs down to the ring and attacks the American Males with karate kicks. The American Males bail and Kanyon grabs Miller but Miller lays him out with a spin kick. The Cat hasn't forgotten his past with Kanyon, where Kanyon was Mortis and teamed with Wrath to fight The Cat and Glacier and also when Kanyon laid out the Cat's secretary, Ms. Jones back during the glory days of WCW! Billy Gunn is up and the Cat beats him up as well, just because.

Doomsday Cage Match:
El Dandy vs. The Confenderation of the People Who Doubt El Dandy

Dandy is on the top level, fighting the likes of Curtis Hughes, Viscera, and Nathan Jones, but despite triple teaming, Dandy beats them, leaving them broken husks of their former selfs. He progresses to the second level, where the Fourth Reich of Heidenreich, Snitskrieg, and Alex Wright, who have a bit more team work and set up Dandy. Heidenreich does the Michael Cole Special to El Dandy to boos but Dandy responds by Dandying up, laying out all of the Fourth Reich members with big boots and legdrops, before pinning them. Dandy climbs down where Festus, Justin Credible, and Kevin Sullivan were waiting.

The OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship beats down Dandy with punches but Dandy shrugs them off and knocks Credible down. Kevin Sullivan has the bell and rings it. Festus gives a mighty bellow and attacks Dandy. Dandy is beaten down on the canvas but he fights back. Dandy struggles, reaching for the bell, but Festus has a chair and he beats down Dandy. Dandy is a crumpled heap and Justin Credible has a singapore cane. He swings but Dandy ducks. FESTUS GETS HIT! The wood bounces off of Festus's head but he sells nothing and goes after Credible. Sullivan yells at Festus but this gives Dandy time to attack Sullivan, as Festus is beating the shit out of Credible. Dandy has the bell and he rings it, before Credible is beaten to a pulp.

Dandy now has the hammer to the bell and strikes the camotose Festus right in the face to a big pop. El Dandy reaches into his tights and pulls out a pair of ear muffs, which he puts on Festus's ears, before he has the ring bell. SULLIVAN IS DESTROYED WITH A HUGE SHOT WITH THE BELL! A loud ding echoes throughout the arena but Credible has the singapore cane again and strikes Dandy in the face wiht it. Dandy goes down and Credible scoops him up. That's Incredible Tombstone. Dandy is down but he does a Shawn Michaels style kip up and SPITS GREEN MIST INTO THE EYES OF CREDIBLE! Credible staggers around and Dandy trips him before setting him up. Dandina Cradle and Credible is pinned, allowing Dandy to win the Doomsday Cage Match against the Confenderation of People Who Doubt El Dandy. They must now disband and Dandy gets an OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship match at some undetermined point in the future as a result of prematch stipulation.

Handicap-Cage Match:
El Dandy defeated The Fourth Reich (Alex Wright, Heidenreich and Snitskrieg), Ke
vin Sullivan, Festus, Curtis Hughes, Nathan Jones, Kurrgan, Viscera and Justin C
redible when Dandy pinned Credible with the Dandina Cradle in 0:57:36.
Rating: 1/4*

Even the evil alliance put together by Kevin Sullivan was not enough to put down El Dandy. Dandy wins and he could be just a short time away.

Next Week: Preempted due to dogs playing tennis.

In Two Weeks: Sweaty men get into the ring wearing tights and roll around on the mat, pretending to fight.
piperfan18Posted on 01/07/09 at 05:56:01

Jannetty will win the title I KNOW IT
MattHarmsPosted on 01/07/09 at 16:33:19

OSW Negative Star Spectacular 9/26/08

Todd Pettigill is out saying that after the last show, he's in a good mood so he brings us a spectacular card of spectacular matches. See Kurrgan square off against Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Marvel, as the American Males put the OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Championship on the line against the Fourth Reich duo of Heidenreich and Snitskrieg. Be astonished as Stevie Ray squares off against the Great Khali. And also, in a match that is sure to blow everyone away, Nailz takes on Ahmed Johnson! Out comes El Dandy, who demands to know what's up. Last week, he beat twenty five other men in the ten level Doomsday Cage of Death made out of rusty razor wire. He walked in the shadow of the valley of death and triumped, proving that people should never doubt El Dandy. Yet, Robert Gibson is facing Justin Credible for the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship. Dandy wants his title shot and he wants it now.

Out comes Marty Jannetty with his briefcase, to remind us that he has a guarenteed title shot that he can cash in on at any time, for a match against the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship. He says El Dandy is a big phony and he doubts Dandy. The crowd boos, as Dandy knocks Marty Jannetty around, punishing him with the Dandina Cradle. The crowd cheers as Jannetty gets up, with Todd Pettigill announcing the main event for tonight. El Dandy against Marty Jannetty. If Dandy wins, then he faces the champion next week. If Jannetty wins, then Dandy can't get a title shot until Jannetty cashes in on that briefcase. Dandy says he's going to whip Jannetty tonight and punk him out.

Kurrgan vs. Jim Duggan

This is a great match. All sorts of moves and countermoves from two great technical wizards in the field of wrestling. The Three Point Stance Topples Kurrgan for the win. Ho!!! Tough Guy.

Jim Duggan pinned Kurrgan with the Three Point Stance in 0:08:11.
Rating: -*** 1/4

Mark Henry is backstage with Billy Gunn offering his services tonight...for the mixed tag team match against Mae Young and Ricky Morton. Henry says he could win in a handicap match, but that panty waste Pettigill is making him pick a partner. So Billy Gunn will do but if he screws him, he will kill him. Billy Gunn nods fearfully.

OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship Match:
The Fourth Reich vs. the American Males(c)

The American Males suffer a horrific beating at the hands of the Fourth Reich but Nailz comes down and gets into it with Snitkrieg, as both men are fighting over Heidenreich. In the confusion, Buff pins Heidenreich with a fisherman suplex to retain the titles.

The American Males (Scotty Riggs and Marcus Bagwell) defeated
The Fourth Reich (Heidenreich and Snitskrieg) when Bagwell pinned Heidenreich
after a fisherman suplex in 0:13:10.
Rating: 1/2*
(The American Males retained the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship.)
[Nailz interfered against Snitskrieg.]

The crowd is cheering as Ernest Miller runs out and lays out the American Males with karate kicks. Glacier makes his entrance as well and stands in the ring, doing a pose. Meanwhile on the ramp, the Repo Man and the Mountie stand on the ramp, teasing cashing in on their briefcase but decide against it.

OSW Television Championship Match:
Steve McMichael vs. Sylvain Grenier(c)

Both men trade the high flying offense that I'm sure you're familiar with them using. Eventually Mongo beats on Grenier but Grenier runs out for the countout because he's French.


Steve McMichael defeated Sylvain Grenier by countout in 0:07:57.
Rating: -** 3/4
(Sylvain Grenier retained the OSW Television Title.)

Billy Gunn and Mark Henry vs. Mae Young and Ricky Morton

Classic Mixed Tag Team Action right here. Morton manages to hold off Mark Henry as Mae Young and Billy Gunn get into a catfight. This ends with Young headbutting Billy Gunn in the groin and delivering the Bronco Buster. Gunn passes out after getting Mae Young's crotch in his face for so long and thus is pinned.

Mae Young and Ricky Morton defeated Billy Gunn and Mark Henry when M. Young
pinned B. Gunn after the Bronco Buster in 0:06:24.
Rating: DUD

Mark Henry murders Ricky Morton with the World's Strongest Slam and slams Mae Young down. The crowd is booing as Henry is going to squash her but MICHAEL HAYES AND JESSE RUN DOWN TO THE RING! Jesse gets beaten down by Henry but Michael Hayes busts a bottle of whiskey over the head of Mark Henry, taking him down. Henry has been dropped as Michael Hayes stands over Henry, taunting him. Ricky Morton is up, checking on Mae Young, as Hayes continues to say some things to Mark Henry that we can't reprint here.

Stevie Ray vs. the Great Khali

This was an encounter of epic proporations. Marvel at the punches. Be in awe at the kicks. Be thrilled by the bearhugs and the bodyslams. Stevie Ray has the slapjack and hits Khali with it but Khali rips it out of his hand and unloads on him with chops to the head, showing the deepness of his moveset. Tree Slam delivered but Khali slaps on the clawhold and Stevie Ray passes out from the pain.


The Great Khali defeated Stevie Ray when Stevie Ray passed out in a clawhold in
0:12:51.
Rating: -***

Khali continues to attack Stevie Ray but SID VICIOUS RUNS OUT! Softball season is over as Sid enters the ring and beats down the Great Khali, knocking him around, before delivering a choke. Sid is choking Khali but Khali fights out with chops and Tree Slams Sid leaving him laid out in the center of the ring. Sid's return doesn't go as planned.

OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship:
Robert Gibson vs. Justin Credible(c)

Both men do wrestling moves with Robert Gibson beating down the champion. Credible is seconds away from losing the title but the Harris Twins rush out, beating down Gibson for the disqualification. Robert Gibson wins the match but not the championship.

Robert Gibson defeated Justin Credible by disqualification in 0:06:12.
Rating: **
(Justin Credible retained the OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title.)
[Don Harris interfered against Robert Gibson.]

Gibson is drilled with the H Bomb and then Ron and Don punk out the champion just because.

Nailz vs. Ahmed Johnson

This match was awesome. The crowd is popping for every move. Ahmed dropped Nailz on his head several times and Nailz responded with punches and more punches. Oh yeah, and there was some punches in there and some chokes. Both men continue to brawl for eighteen epic minutes until Snitskrieg rushes out and attacks Nailz, ruining this potential five star classic.


Nailz defeated Ahmed Johnson by disqualification in 0:17:49.
Rating: -**** 3/4
[Snitskrieg interfered against Nailz.]

Nailz is beaten down by Snitkrieg and out comes Heidenreich who pauses before he attacks Nailz as well. The crowd is booing, it looks like Heidenreich has rejected Nailz in the most painful way possible. The crowd continues to boo but Ahmed Johnson fights off the Fourth Reich, saving Nailz from a career ending beating and setting up what should be an awesome tag team encounter involving Nailz and Ahmed against Snitskrieg and Heidenreich.

Marty Jannetty vs. El Dandy

Some interesting exchanges but Jannetty gets beaten down until the referee gets bumped. On cue, a mystery masked man dressed in black enters the ring. This man looks evil, I wonder who could be under the mask. He attacks El Dandy with a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire, dropping him to the ground. Dandy has been split open and Jannetty drills Dandy with a superkick, managing to put him down just barely for the pin. Dandy can't get a title shot until Jannetty cashes in on his.

Marty Jannetty pinned El Dandy after a superkick in 0:17:21.
Rating: ** 1/2
[A Mysterious Masked Man of Pure Evil interfered against El Dandy.]

Next Week: Will any of our briefcase holders finally cash in on their title matches? Only time will tell. Also, Khali/Sid and Heidenreich/Snitskrieg against Ahmed Johnson and Nailz. Two epic matches next week.
MattHarmsPosted on 01/12/09 at 19:35:58


OSW The Master of Europe 10/4/08
Out comes El Dandy who is pissed for the Mysterious Masked Man of Evil interfering but out comes Sean Waltman. Chants of "X-Pac Sucks Chyna" is heard but Waltman pays the fans no mind. Rather he challenges Dandy to a match tonight one on one in that very ring. Waltman reminds us that back in 2006, during the first OSW, he was the first, last, and only OSW Champion, defending against such legends as Virgil and Pete Gas of the Mean Street Posse and Dandy couldn't carry his jock then. Dandy remarks that he doesn't want to carry Waltman's jock where it was but if he wants a match, he has one. Waltman threatens to spin kick El Dandy and demands a shot at the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship. If Waltman can beat Dandy, Dandy says, than he can get the title shot. I guess El Dandy must be the booker now but who are you to doubt El Dandy.

Ernest Miller and Glacier vs. Two Jabronis
Glacier's entrance takes longer than this match, in fact he comes out as Ernest waylays two of the jobbers and pins them with the Feliner just as Glacier finishes up his entrance.

Glacier and Ernest Miller defeated Kenta Kobashi and Mitsuharu Misawa when
E. Miller pinned M. Misawa with the Feliner in 0:03:26.
Rating: * 3/4

Miller gets on the microphone, challenging those chumps the American Males to a match for the OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Championship next week against him and Glacier. Whether or not that challenge remains to answered remains to be seen.

Jesse vs. Mark Henry

This was a squash win for Mark Henry, winning with the Running Powerslam.

Mark Henry pinned Jesse after a running powerslam in 0:03:53.
Rating: *

Mark Henry gets on the microphone, saying he wants his hands on that racist bastard Michael Hayes and that woman stealing redneck Ricky Morton and he wants them both. Handicap Match, Triple Threat, it doesn't matter, but he wants a match with the both of them.

Ricky Morton vs. Richard Johnson(w/Rod Johnson and The Iron Sheik)

Ricky Morton handles the Iron Sheik's Johnson well in this match but the Johnson is too stiff for Morton in the end. Billy Gunn comes out for reasons undetermined and clocks Morton, allowing the Johnson to reach its climax, finishing off Morton.

Richard Johnson pinned Ricky Morton with the Samoan Neckbreaker in 0:04:53.
Rating: * 1/4
[Billy Gunn interfered against Ricky Morton.]

The Iron Sheik cuts a rambling promo about humbling B. Brian Blair, Nikolai, and Kramer, but in there somewhere, he throws a challenge out to the American Males for the OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Championships.

Out comes the Repo Man with a suitcase for his title shot at the OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Champions and a trash bag. He said with the economy in hard times, the Repo Man actually is better off because all of these people not paying bills means he gets all kinds of overtime. And one of the men not paying his bills is Vincent Kennedy McMahon. So to pay the bill, the Repo Man has lifted the WWE European Championship from Titan Towers and has declared himself the champion. He makes an open challenger and the sounds of HUSS HUSS HUSS, bring out the Berzerker.

WWE European Title Match:
The Berzerker vs. The Repo Man(c)

Disqualification victory for the Berzerker when the Repo Man clocks him in the head with the briefcase. The Repo Man is still the champion.


The Berzerker defeated The Repo Man by disqualification in 0:05:17.
Rating: 1/4*
(The Repo Man retained the WWE European Title.)

Santino Marella comes out, reminding us that he has a chance to become OSW Women's Champion in the future but tonight he has a match with the American Males and Judy Bagwell. He challenges them to come out and introduces his partners...THE VILLANOS!

Santino Marella and the Villanos vs. the American Males and Judy Bagwell

The American Males and Judy Bagwell are no match from the might of the Villanos. In fact, Bagwell is pinned with a 3/4 Facelock bulldog in a snap after Judy and Santino have a catfight on the arena floor. The Villanos might have a claim of receiving a shot at the OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Champions in the future.


Santino Marella, Villano IV and Villano V defeated
The American Males (Scotty Riggs and Marcus Bagwell) and Judy Bagwell when
Villano IV pinned Bagwell after a 3/4 facelock bulldog in 0:06:27.
Rating: DUD

OSW Commissioner Todd Pettigill is backstage, talking with Ricky Morton. Morton has not been that successful ever since winning his briefcase and he requires a high standard of competition for a championship contender. Therefore, Pettigill has announced that Ricky Morton will put his briefcase on the line next week against a real worldclass competitor....Marcus Bagwell. Morton asks if this a joke, as Pettigill has been known to be involved with Judy Bagwell. Also Scotty Riggs will be the special guest referee, Judy Bagwell will be the special guest ring announcer, and Mark Henry will be the special guest timekeeper. Now Morton knows somethng is going on.

OSW Television Championship:
Goldust vs. Sylvain Grenier(c)

Grenier is very repulsed by Goldust and Goldust gains the upper hand until Grenier runs to the back, for the countout. Goldust wins the match but not the championship.

Goldust defeated Sylvain Grenier by countout in 0:13:26.
Rating: -1/4*
(Sylvain Grenier retained the OSW Television Title.)

OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship:
"Stone Cold" Colin Delaney vs. Justin Credible(c)

Delaney stomps a mudhole in Credible and walks him dry but as he hits the Stone Cold Stunner, Shark Boy rushes out, attacking Colin for the disqualification, yelling about gimmick infringement. Credible is disqualified but he keeps the title once again.


"Stone Cold" Colin Delaney defeated Justin Credible by disqualification in
          0:06:25.
Rating: 3/4*
(Justin Credible retained the OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title.)
[Shark Boy interfered against "Stone Cold" Colin Delaney.]

Shark Boy attacks Delaney before hitting him with the Shark Boy Stunner and they toasts him with some clam juice over his deflated body.

Ahmed Johnson and Nailz vs. the Fourth Reich

This was a near classic match. Seriously, this match can't be described by mere words. Snitskrieg pins Ahmed after kicking him in the head.


The Fourth Reich (Heidenreich and Snitskrieg) defeated Nailz and Ahmed Johnson
when Snitskrieg pinned A. Johnson after a kick to the head in 0:19:19.
Rating: -**** 1/2

Sid Vicious vs. the Great Khali

Nothing is settled despite a great battle between two great athletes. Both men brawl around the ring for the double countout.

Sid and The Great Khali battled to a double countout in 0:23:50.
Rating: -**** 1/2

The crowd is cheering as Khali gets on the microphone and cuts a promo. The gist of it as that he wants Sid in the ring but not just in any match. No, he wants Sid Vicious one on one next week in a Punjabi Prison Match! Sid accepts the challenge.

El Dandy vs. Sean Waltman

Waltman beats Dandy, Dandy fights back against variety of high impact offense from Waltman including spin kicks and more spin kicks, and even more spin kicks. Oh and a Bronco Buster. Second one is crotched and Dandy puts down Waltman with the Dandina Cradle for the pin.

El Dandy pinned Sean Waltman with the Dandina Cradle in 0:09:32.
Rating: ** 1/2

Dandy gets the win but the Masked Man of Evil enters the ring and attacks Dandy with a kendo stick. Dandy is beaten down in the ring but he fights back. The Masked Man leaves, saying he will reveal his face.

NEXT WEEK: Khali/Sid in the Punjabi Prison Match. Also Marcus Bagwell versus Ricky Morton for the briefcase for the Television Championship shot and more.
MattHarmsPosted on 01/12/09 at 23:09:44

OSW Punjabi Prison 10/11/08

Todd Pettigill is out tonight, to make some matches. First of all, he reminds us of the Punjabi Prison main event match with The Great Khali and Sid Vicious and Ricky Morton against Marcus Bagwell with Morton's Feast or Fired Briefcase on the line, with Scotty Riggs as the special guest referee, Judy Bagwell as the guest ring announcer, and Mark Henry as the guest time keeper. Also Stevie Ray will get a shot at the OSW Television Championship against Sylvain Grenier, The Repo Man defends the WWE European Championship against Snitskrieg, and Justin Credible defends the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship against "Stone Cold" Colin Delaney, "Stone Cold" Shark Boy and Tatanka, who is not Stone Cold, but is in line for a title shot after pinning the champion in a non title match a while back. Also, both El Dandy and the mysterious masked man of evil had been banned from the building because next week, Dandy squares off against the Masked Man in the first ever Mask Against Mullet Match. The crowd cheers as that match is the main event for next week.

Robert Gibson and Jim Duggan vs. the Big Johnsons(w/The Iron Sheik)

Gibson is beaten down, unable to handle the Big Johnsons. Duggan gets in and has a bit more luck but the Johnsons are too stiff and Duggan is put down for the pin.


The Big Johnsons (Rod Johnson and Richard Johnson) defeated
Robert Gibson and Jim Duggan when Richard Johnson pinned Duggan with the
Samoan Neckbreaker in 0:06:00.
Rating: 1/2*

Santino is out from the back, remarking that he will get his OSW Women's Championship title match in the not so distant future, when we get around it. Santino throws out a challenge to any woman or any man who hits like a woman, because Santino is going to make them his prison bitch. Out comes Michael Cole, right on cue. Cole says he's sick of this young man. He's a bully and Cole promises to hit him right in the skull. He calls Santino a bully and their match will be an emotional roller coaster. Cole promises that Santino will not steal the damn victory and he will give Santino a vintage beating for all of the fans of the WWE universe. Santino looks baffled and it looks like we have a match.

Michael Cole vs. Santino Marella

Michael Cole opens up with a controlled frenzy but when Cole really gets rolling, Santino hits that modified DDT to score the pin. A hard shot drops Michael Cole right on his skull and that bully Santino steals the damn victory!


Santino Marella pinned Michael Cole after a DDT in 0:05:01.
Rating: -3/4*

Santino cuts a promo, reminding us that he is the only person man enough to hold the OSW Women's Championship.

OSW Television Championship Match:
Stevie Ray vs. Sylvain Grenier(c)

Stevie Ray has the advantage but Grenier shows that he is French by walking out for the countout and thus Ray wins the match but not the championship!


Stevie Ray defeated Sylvain Grenier by countout in 0:06:18.
Rating: -** 3/4
(Sylvain Grenier retained the OSW Television Title.)

Marty Jannetty is backstage, reminding us that he could cash in on his briefcase at any time, even tonight. Right then, Heidenreich and Snitskrieg attack him from behind, the Fourth Reich beating him down. Why? Maybe we'll find out next week on WCW Monday Nitro! Heidenreich preps Marty for the Michael Cole Special but Nailz makes the save.

OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship, Fatal Four Way Elimination Match:
Tatanka vs. "Stone Cold" Colin Delaney vs "Stone Cold" Shark Boy vs. Justin Credible(c)

Tatanka is eliminated quickly by Delaney but Delaney and Shark Boy get into a brawl, over who is the real Stone Cold and thus they brawl to the back for the double countout. Justin Credible wins despite not doing anything!


Four Corners Match:
Justin Credible defeated "Stone Cold" Colin Delaney, Shark Boy and Tatanka:
        x Delaney beat Tatanka via a stunner in 0:07:10
        x double countout (Shark Boy and Delaney) in 0:13:42
Rating: * 3/4
(Justin Credible retained the OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title.)

OSW Television Championship Match
The Repo Man(w/the Mountie) vs. Snitskrieg(w/Heidenreich and Alex Wright)

The Repo Man tried to gain some advantage but Snitskrieg was too determined. He punts the Repo Man in the head with the big boot and the crowd cheers. Snitskrieg is the new WWE European Champion after he scores the pin.

Snitskrieg pinned The Repo Man after a big boot in 0:12:33.
Rating: -* 1/2
(Snitskrieg won the WWE European Champion.)

Snitskrieg holds the belt up but the Mountie enters the ring but gets overwhelmed by Heidenreich. Alex Wright directs traffic as the Mountie and the Repo Man are beaten down by the Fourth Reich, kicking off what should be a spectacular tag team feud.

Match for the Feast or Fired Briefcase of Ricky Morton with Special Guest Referee Scotty Riggs, Special Guest Ring Announcer Judy Bagwell and Special Guest Timekeeper Mark Henry
Ricky Morton vs. Marcus Bagwell

The crowd is cheering as Morton fights overwhelming odds but Mark Henry enters the ring and beats down Morton. Bagwell puts Morton in the Sharpshooter and Scotty Riggs calls for the bell in a finish never seen before in wrestling. Morton has been screwed out of his Feast or Fired Briefcase.

Marcus Bagwell made Ricky Morton submit to the Sharpshooter in 0:09:29.
Rating: * 3/4

Bagwell holds up the briefcase as Todd Pettigill comes out to announce that Bagwell will take his title shot next week. To make sure nothing happens, the belt can change hands by countout or disqualification. Also, Grenier needs to be properly tuned up so he can face off in a No Disqualification Three On One Handicap Match with the Fourth Reich. Since the Villanos, Blood Runs Cold, and the Johnsons all want a shot at the Those Are Some Nice Belts Championship, they can fight in a triangle match where the winner gets a title shot at some point in the future.

Punjabi Prison Match:
The Great Khali vs. Sid Vicious

This was an encounter of epic proportions. Both men brawled but Sid proved to be the better man, climbing out of the bamboo cage for the win.

Punjabi Prison Match:
Sid defeated The Great Khali by escaping the cage in 0:23:37.
Rating: -*** 1/2

Sid cuts a ramblng promo as the show ends.

NEXT WEEK: The Fourth Reich faces Sylvain Grenier and than Grenier defends the OSW Television Title against Marcus Bagwell. Also the Villanos, the Johnsons, and Blood Runs Cold in a Three Way Dance. El Dandy against the Masked Man of Evil, Mullet versus Mask.
MattHarmsPosted on 01/15/09 at 01:27:47

OSW Mask Versus Mullet 10/18/08

The Great Khali vs. Kurrgan

Both of these titans had a brutal battle with punches, chops, bearhugs, and bodyslams, before Khali drilled him with a Baba Chop for the pin. Khali is back in the title hunt after losing to Sid last week.


Kurrgan pinned The Great Khali after the Baba chop in 0:09:04.
Rating: -**** 3/4

Number One Contenders Match for the OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Championship:
The Villanos vs. Blood Runs Cold vs. The Big Johnsons(w/The Iron Sheik)

All three teams brawl with each other but the American Males run out and attack them, leaving all of them laying in the ring with a savage beating. The Males had laid out their competition and thus there are no top contenders.

Triangle Match:
Ernest Miller and Glacier drew Villano IV and Villano V and
The Big Johnsons (Rod Johnson and Richard Johnson) in 0:12:00.
Rating: *
[Marcus Bagwell and Scotty Riggs interfered against Glacier.]
[Marcus Bagwell interfered against Villano IV.]
[Marcus Bagwell interfered against Richard Johnson.]
[Scotty Riggs and Marcus Bagwell interfered against Ernest Miller.]

Sid cuts a rambling promo, reminding us that he will challenge Justin Credible for the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship. Sid promises to rule Credible and win the belt.

Ricky Morton(w/Mae Young) vs. Michael Hayes vs. Mark Henry
Henry quickly eliminates Ricky Morton with the World's Strongest Slam. This leaves Henry and Hayes in the ring to duke it out. Both men exchange moves with Henry beating Hayes. However, Hayes manages to counter with a sunset flip for the pin.


Triangle Match:
Michael Hayes defeated Mark Henry and Ricky Morton:
        x M. Henry beat R. Morton via the World's Strongest Slam in 0:07:07
        x M. Hayes beat M. Henry via a sunset flip in 0:11:16
Rating: * 1/4

Sylvain Grenier cuts a promo, calling himself the French sensation and saying despite the fact that the deck is stacked against him, he will come out on top as the OSW Television Champion because he loves coming out on top against other men.

Stevie Ray vs. Steve McMichael
The technical classic you would expect between these two men. The crowd was really getting behind both men as they trade high impact moves such as abdominal stretches, chinlocks, and bearhugs. Eventually Paul Roma stuck his nose where it did not belong, allowing McMichal to roll up Stevie Ray for the pin. The Real Horsemen have stolen the victory.


Steve McMichael pinned Stevie Ray after a roll up in 0:08:58.
Rating: -****
[Paul Roma interfered against Stevie Ray.]

Stevie Ray attacks Mongo but gets double teamed by Roma and McMichael. Ray is battered in a broken heap by the two men who carried the Four Horsemen. Tombstone Piledriver and Flying Bodypress beat Ray down.

Santino cuts a promo, informing us that he will take his OSW Women's Championship Match against Judy Bagwell but out comes Billy Gunn, saying that Santino isn't man enough to challenge for the OSW Women's Championship. Santino and Gunn banter back and forth, before Gunn challenges Santino to an Evening Gown Match next week. Santino accepts and to set an...interesting match for next week.

Sylvain Grenier vs. the Fourth Reich
This is a three on one handicap match that serves as a tune up for Grenier's OSW Television Championship Title Defense Against Marcus Bagwell. Grenier gets beaten for twenty one minutes, as Pettigill has announced that there are no countouts. He gets pinned by Snitskrieg kicking him in the face for the pin.


Handicap-Match:
The Fourth Reich (Alex Wright, Heidenreich and Snitskrieg) defeated
Sylvain Grenier when Snitskrieg pinned Grenier after a high kick in 0:21:34.
Rating: DUD

The American Males and Judy Bagwell come out but Alex Wright gets in their face about a promised OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts title shot for taking out Grenier. When Judy says that they misunderstood, Wright comments that they won't misunderstand this and Heidenreich and Snitskrieg attack the American Males. Judy screeches but Alex Wright takes her out with a German Suplex. Wright pounds on her as Snitskrieg delivers a pumphandle slam to Scotty Riggs and Heidenreich delivers a Spinning Side Slam to Bagwell. Heidenreich picks up Grenier and rolls him onto Bagwell.

OSW Television Championship Match:
Marcus Bagwell vs. Sylvain Grenier(c)

Sylvain Grenier defeated Marcus Bagwell via pinfall in 0:00:03.
Rating: -1/4*
(Sylvain Grenier retained the OSW Television Title.)

When the American Males wake up they won't be happy. Not by a longshot. Bagwell went to all that trouble to get the briefcase, scheming with Todd Pettigill and now its all over in three seconds.

OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship
Sid vs. Justin Credible(c)

This was a one sided mugging at the hands of Sid. Sid destroys Credible, throwing him to the floor and exposes the concrete. Credible gets two Power Bombs right on the floor but Sid, not being the sharpest knife in the drawer, rolls into the ring at the count of nine and Credible is counted out. Sid wins the match but not the championship, even though Credible just had his skull caved in on the floor.


Sid defeated Justin Credible by countout in 0:18:08.
Rating: * 3/4
(Justin Credible retained the OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title.)

Credible is being attended to but Marty Jannetty comes down to the ring, briefcase in hand. He removes the contract and announces he is cashing in on his championship match. The crowd cheers as Credible is thrown into the ring by the paramedics as the second title match begins.

OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship
Marty Jannetty vs. Justin Credible(c)

The crowd cheers as Marty delivers a couple of punches and the Rocker Dropper. Credible is rolled over and pinned. WE HAVE A NEW CHAMPION!

Marty Jannetty pinned Justin Credible after the Rocker Dropper in 0:00:20.
Rating: *
(Marty Jannetty won the OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title.)

Mask versus Mullet:
The Masked Man of Evil vs. El Dandy

Both men exchanged moves with the Masked Man tying Dandy in the tree of woe and running knee before delivering a Double Stomp to the stomach. Yep, no idea who's under the mask but the masked man beats down Dandy, slamming him down but gets dropkicked off the top rope. Dandy works over the Masked Man of Evil and delivers the Dandina Cradle for the pin!


El Dandy pinned The Masked Man of Evil with the Dandina Cradle in 0:16:34.
Rating: ***

Dandy rips off the mask of his opponent to reveal...KEVIN SULLIVAN! Shocking I know. Dandy beats down Sullivan, delivering a double stomp and another Dandina Cradle. Dandy stands in the ring and makes the "I Want Da Belt" motion around his waist. What could this mean? Tune in next week to find out.

Next Week: Santino Marella and Billy Gunn square off in an Evening Gown Match and much more.
piperfan18Posted on 01/15/09 at 06:22:21

GO JANNETTY!!! Although I picture him as the first champion to be fired while champion
MattHarmsPosted on 01/19/09 at 00:04:31

OSW El Dandy Title Shot 10/25/08

Out comes the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship holder, Marty Jannetty, who brags about his triumphant victory last week. After carrying Shawn Michaels in the Rockers, Sean Waltman to the WWF World Tag Team Titles and Al Snow to...opening match feuds with the Bodydonnas and the Godwinns, Marty Jannetty finally has the gold and he won't get up. Since OSW does not have Jim Herd in a position of power, he won't be fired as champion. In fact he is the greatest champion ever in OSW history and will prove it. Out comes Todd Pettigill, along with the OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Champions the American Males and the OSW Women's Champion Judy Bagwell. Pettigill congratulates him on his victory but says they can do things the easy way or the hard way. Jannetty can join up with Pettigill and the rest of his stable or he can get beaten up. Marty says there is only one choice and he shakes hands with the American Males and Judy Bagwell, along with Pettigill. The crowd boos as the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Champion has sold out to that vile bastard Todd Pettigill.

Out comes El Dandy, who looks on in disgust, saying that just when it looked like Marty Jannetty could not sunk any lower, he got an even bigger shovel. Dandy demands his title shot but out comes the Fourth Reich. Alex Wright cuts a promo, saying these men Heidenreich and Snitskrieg can get their title shot, as promised. Snitskrieg is a WWE European Champion, the same belt that has been held by such legends as Crash Holly and Mideon. Pettigill says no one tells him what to do and what they're going to do is, make Heidenreich and El Dandy, the winner gets a title shot. Also, Snitskrieg and Judy Bagwell, belt for belt tonight. The American Males protest but Pettigill assures him that he is the man with the plan.

OSW Women's Championship vs. WWE European Title Match
Judy Bagwell(Women's Championship) vs. Snitskrieg(European)

This match didn't get going too long before Heidenreich jumped Judy Bagwell from behind, for the disqualification.

Judy Bagwell defeated Snitskrieg by disqualification in 0:06:34.
Rating: -* 3/4
(Judy Bagwell retained the OSW Women's Title.)
(Snitskrieg retained the WWE European Champion.)
[Heidenreich interfered against Judy Bagwell.]

The crowd is cheering as the Fourth Reich are beating down Judy Bagwell but out comes The American Males and Marty Jannetty to make the save but Alex Wright calls off Heidenreich and Snitskrieg.

Blood Runs Cold, the Big Johnsons, and the Villanos are in Todd Pettigill's office, protesting about the results of the number one contenders match, how the American Males screwed them all. Pettigill said that he sees their point so next week a Fatal Four Way Elimination Match between all four of those teams, for the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Belts. This seems to pacify everyone, at least for now.

The Big Johnsons(w/The Iron Shiek) and Kanyon vs. The Harris Brothers and Mike Enos

Kanyon looked to be an excellent fit with the Iron Shiek's Big Johnsons. Enos was pinned off of an exchange.

The Big Johnsons (Rod Johnson and Richard Johnson) and Kanyon defeated
The Harris Brothers (Ron Harris and Don Harris) and Mike Enos when
Richard Johnson pinned Enos with the Samoan Neckbreaker in 0:06:36.
Rating: 1/2*

Sean Waltman is on the microphone, saying that he doesn't suck. He was the first OSW Champion back in 2006, he is a real champion, a hero to all, an icon. The crowd chants "Stay in Chyna". Waltman looks upset but says he's going to show them who sucks tonight when he beats Ricky Morton.

Ricky Morton vs. Sean Waltman
The recent disrespect has lit a fire under Waltman's ass as he pins Morton with the X-Factor.


Sean Waltman pinned Ricky Morton with the X-Factor in 0:04:07.
Rating: ** 3/4

Morton sits up, looking rather depressed. Ever since the Rock N Roll Express broke up, other than a brief bump in winning the briefcase, he has hit the skids as a wrestler. Out comes Mark Henry to beat up Morton, with the World's Strongest Slam to further rub salt in the wounds. Henry has still not forgiven Morton for that one night stand with Mae Young.

Heidenreich vs. El Dandy
A title shot was on the line for the winner of the match. Sean Waltman runs out to attack Dandy but his interference is not enough. Dandy manages to avoid the Michael Cole Special and deliver a single leg trip, into the Dandina Cradle for the pin! The crowd cheers as Dandy scores the pin to earn his title shot tonight!


El Dandy pinned Heidenreich with the Dandina Cradle in 0:10:08.
Rating: *
[Sean Waltman interfered against El Dandy.]

The crowd is cheering as Dandy gets on the microphone, calling Jannetty out for their match but out comes Pettigill. He says that Dandy must have been mistaken. He won't be getting a shot at Marty Jannetty tonight, as he's facing Justin Credible in a return match. No, rather he's getting a title shot, with a partner of Pettigill's choosing, against the OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Champions the American Males. Don't worry, it will be a random competitor, drawn out of a hat. Dandy is not happy, he was expecting to finally get a title shot at the richest prize in OSW.

Evening Gown Match:
Billy Gunn vs. Santino Marella

Both men dress in Evening Gowns but Santino decides to cheat, bringing a pair of scissors into the ring and cuts the dress off of Billy Gunn to score the tainted win. What Gunn was wearing underneath...well I don't think we need to repeat those sodid details.

Santino Marella defeated Billy Gunn in 0:05:58.
Rating: ***

Santino promises to become the OSW Women's Champion when he gets into the ring with Judy Bagwell. No telling when it will be when Santino receives his title shot but it is sometime in the not so distant future.

Paul Roma vs. Stevie Ray

This match doesn't get too far when Steve McMichael attacks Ray from behind.


Stevie Ray defeated Paul Roma by disqualification in 0:06:25.
Rating: -*
[Steve McMichael interfered against Stevie Ray.]

The Real Horsemen beat down Stevie Ray, putting him down in the center of the ring with a double team assault, including a spike piledriver. Ray is going to need some back up, someone that will cause the Horsemen to go down.

"Stone Cold" Shark Boy vs. "Stone Cold" Colin Delaney

The battle of the Stone Colds take place tonight. Delaney flips off Shark Boy and delivers the stunner tonight to score the pin, to win the rights to the Stone Cold trademark.


"Stone Cold" Colin Delaney pinned Shark Boy after a stunner in 0:04:53.
Rating: ** 1/4

OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship Match:
Justin Credible vs. Marty Jannetty(c)

Jannetty wins his rematch in short order, beating Credible with the Rocker Dropper. Credible...it's been fun but see you around well never.

Marty Jannetty pinned Justin Credible after the Rocker Dropper in 0:02:26.
Rating: ***
(Marty Jannetty retained the OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title.)

Out come the OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Champions, the American Males, who look pleased but show fear as El Dandy makes his way down to the ring. Dandy looks on the ramp as Todd Pettigill introduces Dandy's mystery partner....MICHAEL COLE! Michael Cole comes out, saying that he is ready to bust the American Males right in the skull, putting those bullies down, and showing them some vintage Michael Cole offense. Dandy looks absolutely mortified at Pettigill's choice of partner for him.

OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Title Match:
Michael Cole and El Dandy vs. the American Males(c)

Dandy gets the better of the Males during the match but Michael Cole gets tagged into the match and falls to Riggs, pinning him with a rolling cradle.

The American Males (Scotty Riggs and Marcus Bagwell) defeated
El Dandy and Michael Cole when Riggs pinned M. Cole after a rolling cradle in
          0:07:41.
Rating: 1/4*
(The American Males retained the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship.)

El Dandy is in the ring but Sean Waltman is out to try and attack Dandy again. Dandy takes him out and the American Males are in the ring but out rush Heidenreich and Snitskrieg. The Males bail but Heidenreich grins when he sees Michael Cole in the center of the ring. Heidenreich clubs Michael Cole on the back of the head and drags him backstage like a caveman, with Cole squirming all of the way. We fade to black on that note.

Next Week: Fatal Four Way for the Those Are Some Nice Belts Championship and more.
MattHarmsPosted on 01/19/09 at 22:45:22

OSW High Stakes 11/1/08:

Out comes Todd Pettigill to announce that tonight's main event will feature El Dandy:
squring off against Ricky Morton in a career versus title shot match. If Dandy wins
he earns his title shot at the OSW Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship and
Ricky Morton will be fired. If Morton wins, then he will keep his job and Dandy will
be banned from receiving any title matches for the next sixty days.

[Number One Contender For the Television Title]: Triangle Match
Jim Duggan defeated Kurrgan and Alex Wright when Duggan pinned Kurrgan with the
Three Point Stance in 0:08:50.
Rating: -** 1/4

Jim Duggan wins tonights encounter against Kurrgan and Alex Wright, to earn a shot
at OSW Television Champion Sylvain Grenier at some unspecified point in the future.
Duggan promises to bring the OSW Television Championship Belt to the US of A, saying
that the United States has no room for a Quebecian like Grenier to hold the belt
because American is the land of the brave and the home of the free. Meawwhile
Alex Wright demands anyone to come out to make a challenge.

"Stone Cold" Colin Delaney pinned Alex Wright after a stunner in 0:05:08.
Rating: **

Delaney rolls over Alex Wright in five minutes, pinning him with the stunner. Delaney
is on a roll and title matches could be in his future if he keeps up this winning
streak.

Santino Marella pinned Maryse after a reverse cradle in 0:05:09.
Rating: * 3/4

Santino beats Maryse handily and gets on the microphone, talking about his OSW
Women's Title Match against Judy Bagwell and how he is going to win the belt. He is
going to send Judy Bagwell back where she can be in the kitchen barefoot making
babies.

Out comes Michael Cole who is pissed at what that bully Heidenreich did to him last
week after the show. Michael Cole was the recipent of a vintage Michael Cole
Special last week. Therefore, Cole is challenging Heidenreich to a Brawl for All
Match. It won't end this way, but Cole will come at Heidenreich with a controlled
frenzy and win this one for all of the fans in the WWE Universe. He will bash
in Heidenreich's skull. Out comes Heidenreich with a predatory glance on his
face and the match is on, much like Donkey Kong.

Brawl For All:
Heidenreich defeats Michael Cole on points.

Heidenreich bulldozes Cole in the match and knocks him out before carrying him
backstage for more anal depravity.

The Great Khali pinned Snitskrieg after a Yakuza kick in 0:09:47.
Rating: -* 3/4
(The Great Khali won the WWE European Champion.)

Ladies and Gentlemen the Great Khali is the new WWE European Champion, beating
Snitskrieg. Snitskrieg was overwhelmed by the Great Khali and pinned rather handily.

Out come the Real Horsemen but Stevie Ray introduces someone who will whoop on
Mongo since he was injured by that Spike Piledriver. Out comes Ahmed Johnson
and it is on my friends.

Ahmed Johnson pinned Steve McMichael with the Pearl River Plunge in 0:07:52.
Rating: -** 1/2

An epic encounter by Ahmed and McMichael. Really nothing more to say other than
Mongo was drilled down with the Pearl River Plunge and pinned.

El Dandy cuts a promo, saying that he will beat Ricky Morton and he's coming for
Jannetty to get his belt.

Four Corners Match:
Glacier and Ernest Miller defeated
The Big Johnsons (Rod Johnson and Richard Johnson), Villano IV and Villano V
and The American Males (Scotty Riggs and Marcus Bagwell):
        x Glacier beat Villano IV via a superkick in 0:06:25
        x E. Miller beat Richard Johnson via the Feliner in 0:17:44
        x E. Miller beat Riggs via the Feliner in 0:19:03
Rating: 3/4*
(Glacier and Ernest Miller won the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship.)

Blood Runs Cold have done it, winning the OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Championships,
bulldozing all three teams in this match, ending with a decisive win over the
American Males but wait out comes the Repo Man and the Mountie. Mountie shocks
Glacier with the cattle prod and Repo Man nails The Cat in the face with the hook
before they hand in their briefcase, no you can't be serious, they're going to
cash in for their title shot?

The Mountie and The Repo Man defeated Glacier and Ernest Miller when Mountie
pinned E. Miller after a piledriver in 0:00:50.
Rating: 1/4*
(The Mountie and The Repo Man won the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship.)

The pre match assault was too much for Blood Runs Cold and the Mountie pins Miller
with a piledriver, destroying him handily and having our second change of the
OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Championship division.

[Career versus Title Shot]:
Ricky Morton defeated El Dandy by disqualification in 0:10:44.
Rating: * 1/4
[Mark Henry interfered against Ricky Morton.]

Ricky Morton is saved, inadvertantly by his rival Mark Henry, who enters the ring
to brutalize him and bar Dandy from receiving title shots for the next sixty days.

Dandy is pissed beyond belief and he has a steel chair, attacking Mark Henry,
Ricky Morton, the referee, the security guards, and the timekeeper, not to mention
several wrestlers who come out. El Dandy has lost his mind. Who are you to doubt
that fact? He stands tall with a blood stained chair in his hands.
MattHarmsPosted on 01/21/09 at 01:03:59

Results of OSW Suspended 11/8/08:

Todd Pettigill is out to announce that El Dandy has been suspended idefinately for:
his actions last week. There is no chance of Dandy returning, not now, not ever.
The crowd boos as Pettigill is drunk with his own power.


Jim Duggan defeated Sylvain Grenier by disqualification in 0:09:04.
Rating: -1/2*
(Sylvain Grenier retained the OSW Television Title.)
[Don Harris interfered against Jim Duggan.]

Jim Duggan had an opportunity to regain the OSW Television Championship but his rivals,
the Harris Brothers ran down to the ring. They beat Duggan down for the disqualification
and Grenier slips away like a snake, keeping the OSW Television Title Belt once again.

The Mountie and The Repo Man defeated
The Big Johnsons (Rod Johnson and Richard Johnson) when Mountie made
Richard Johnson submit to the Carotid Control Technique in 0:08:21.
Rating: DUD
(The Mountie and The Repo Man retained the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship.)

The Iron Sheik's Johnsons were granted an OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Title Shot
against The Mountie and Repo Man. They failed to capitilize despite their stiff offense
and the Johnsons were deflated at the hands of the Repo Man and the Mountie.

The Great Khali and Snitskrieg battled to a draw in ::00:01.
Rating: **** 1/4
(The Great Khali retained the WWE European Champion.)

An epic rematch that was the longest match in wrestling history, going ten hours and
ended when both men simply could not keep up the technical wrestling expertise that these
two men held. Get the tape of this one folks if you can.

Ricky Morton defeated Marcus Bagwell by disqualification in 0:10:16.
Rating: * 3/4
[Scotty Riggs interfered against Ricky Morton.]

Ricky Morton continued to have his problems against Pettigill beating Bagwell by
disqualification when Riggs interfered. The American Males beat him down and Mark Henry
came out, delivering a splash to Morton before Pettigill introduces the newest member of
his stable, Mark Henry. Mae Young comes out and gets into it with Judy Bagwell which
leads into our next match.

Judy Bagwell pinned Mae Young after a backslide in 0:08:55.
Rating: -*** 1/2
(Judy Bagwell retained the OSW Women's Title.)

A great encounter with Judy using her technical wrestling experience to score with
a backslide on Mae Young. Afterwards, the number one contender for the OSW Women's
Title Santino Marella, rushes out and beats down both women, laying them out in the
center of the ring, promising to take his title shot soon.

Ernest Miller and Glacier defeated
The Harris Brothers (Ron Harris and Don Harris) when E. Miller pinned Heavy D
with the Feliner in 0:08:12.
Rating: 1/2*

Blood Runs Cold are hot after losing their OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship
just less than a minute after winning them so they blitz the Harris Brothers. It is
announced that Blood Runs Cold will face off against the American Males in a Best Two
Out of Three Falls Match where the winners face the Repo Man and the Mountie for the
belts next.

Heidenreich pinned Kurrgan with the Spinning Side Slam in 0:10:00.
Rating: -*** 3/4

Heidenreich gets on the microphone, after beating Kurrgan and says he wants a piece of
Marty Jannetty and his championship. He promises to give Marty Jannetty the Michael
Cole Treatment, raping of him of his dignity and his championship. He might hate caskets
but Jannetty's career will be put in the grave when Heidenreich gets a piece of him. With
El Dandy suspended, Heidenreich may be the likely number one contender now.

Marty Jannetty pinned Erik Watts with the Rocker Dropper in 0:05:13.
Rating: 1/2*
(Marty Jannetty retained the OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title.)

The randomly drawn contender was Erik Watts. Despite the awesome dropkick of Watts,
he could not translate that into a title victory and Jannetty keeps the title, along
with his job, for another week.
MattHarmsPosted on 01/23/09 at 17:49:00

Results of OSW The Midnight Dandy 11/15/08:

It is announced that Heidenreich and Snitskrieg will face off one on one tonight but:
not just in any match. The winner will be the number one contender for the Global Galactic Universe International
Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt
Championship.


The Mountie and The Repo Man defeated Bobby Walker and Ice Train when Mountie
defeated B. Walker when B. Walker passed out in the Carotid Control Technique
in 0:09:44.
Rating: -1/4*
(The Mountie and The Repo Man retained the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship.)

To shut up a bitching by Sonny Onoo for racial discrimination, Walker and Ice Train
get a title shot at the Repo Man and the Mountie and fail to capture the "Those Are
Some Nice Titles" Championship. Despite the shady way they won the belts, Repo Man
and the Mountie are proven to be a good team.

Santino Marella cuts a promo, saying that since the show is preempted next week because
of Thanksgiving, he will take the OSW Women's Title Match against Judy Bagwell on the
11/29/08 show that he earned many weeks ago. He promises to capture the gold.

Nailz and Kurrgan battled to a double countout in 0:16:53.
Rating: -*****

This was a classic battle. Kurrgan and Nailz brawled and spilled to the ring for a double
countout, and continued brawling. This feud is far from over.

Rhaka Khan pinned Maryse with the Hair Pull Chokebomb in 0:08:57.
Rating: -** 1/4

Rhaka Khan and Maryse are two of the top women's competitors in the world and they fought
for a potential shot at Judy Bagwell's OSW Women's Championship. Out comes Billy Gunn
afterwards as he beats down both woemn, saying it's a disgrace that he's not getting
a title shot as long as Judy Bagwell is the champion and some Itlalian Stetereotype
is fighting for the title. Now what's worse, two women are fighting in the women's
division. Gunn will not stand for this, enough is enough and its time for a change.

The American Males (Scotty Riggs and Marcus Bagwell) defeated
Ernest Miller and Glacier when Bagwell pinned E. Miller after a fisherman suplex
in 0:09:42.
Rating: * 1/4

The American Males won and Blood Runs Cold beats on them, but Todd Pettigill comes out
with security. When Miller protests, Todd Pettigill says it was a miscommuncication this
was two out of three falls and thus the American Males win and are the number one
contenders. Miller threatens to whoop on Pettigill but Mark Henry runs out and beats
down Miller with the World's Strongest Slam. Glacier gets a World's Strongest Slam
of his own.

The Great Khali made Alex Wright submit to a clawhold in 0:02:27.
Rating: *
(The Great Khali retained the WWE European Champion.)

Alex Wright failed to bring the WWE European Championship back to the Fourth Reich
as Khali was just too much man for him. A clawhold and Wright was down. Khali wants
some competition and challenges any former WWE European Champion to a title match in
two weeks. It'll have to be someone pretty big to knock off Khali.

Stevie Ray and Ahmed Johnson defeated
The Real Horsemen (Steve McMichael and Paul Roma) when S. Ray pinned Roma
with the Slapjack in 0:10:02.
Rating: -* 1/4

Stevie Ray, with the help of Ahmed Johnson, gained revenge against the only two members
of that pitiful Four Horsemen group that mattered. Roma was pinned and Stevie Ray wants
a shot at the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship for him and Ahmed, but he
has to get in line behind the American Males.

The Midnight Dandy pinned The Maestro with the Dandina Cradle in 0:14:12.
Rating: ** 1/4

A mysterious newcomer called the Midnight Dandy, a hispanic looking man wearing a mask
and a t-shirt that says "I'm Not El Dandy" on it makes his debut tonight and beats
the Maestro, who was a fixture in the original OSW in 2006 and makes his return tonight.
I wouldn't doubt that the Midnight Dandy will be a contender for the Global Galactic Universe
International Saskatchewan Hardcore International Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt
Championship in the future but speaking of that, a number one contenders match is up next.


[Winner Faces Jannetty For the Belt Soon]: Number-One-Contenders-Match:
Heidenreich pinned Snitskrieg with the Spinning Side Slam in 0:16:16.
Rating: -* 1/2

Todd Pettigill forced the Fourth Reich members to fight for a title shot against Marty
Jannetty and Heidenreich was the better man on this night. Heidenreich...former OSW
Television Champion, former OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Championship holder, could he
win the Global Galactic Universe International Saskatchewan Hardcore International
Western States Heritage Big Gold Belt Championship? When he faces Jannetty for the
belt we'll find out soon enough.


Card rating: -1/4*
MattHarmsPosted on 03/01/09 at 16:49:02

Results of OSW Turkey Turnbuckle Fest 11/29/08:

Snitskrieg pinned Jeff Hardy after a Yakuza kick in 0:01:09.
Rating: * 1/4

Snitskireg destroys a hapless enhancement talent. Afterwards, he throws out a challenge
to Sylvain Grenier, saying he wants the OSW Television Championship.

Billy Gunn is backstage, angry that Santino gets an OSW Women's Title Shot but remembers
he is only banned from getting title shots until Judy Bagwell loses the title. Todd
Pettigill says that Gunn won't screw with his WOmen's Title Match tonight as he will
have to handle one of the Iron Sheik's Johnsons tonight and they are some stiff
competition.

The Harris Brothers (Ron Harris and Don Harris) defeated
Robert Gibson and Jim Duggan when Big Ron defeated R. Gibson by disqualification
in 0:10:15.
Rating: 1/2*
[Ricky Morton interfered against Ron Harris.]

Jim Duggan was injured and taken to the back early, leaving Gibson at a two on one
disadvantage, until Ricky Morton ran out and Double Dropkicks waylaid the Harris
Brothers but a disqualification loss.

Pettigill comes out and announces that Morton can have Mark Henry tonight. Also Heidenreich
will face off against a mystery opponent and Marty Jannetty will put his title on the line
later tonight against an opponent of Pettigill's choosing.

Richard Johnson pinned Billy Gunn with the Samoan Neckbreaker in 0:02:46.
Rating: 1/2*

One of the Johnsons were just too much for Gunn. Afterwards, both of the Johnsons had
their way with Billy Gunn and Gunn was beaten down, attempting to get his hands on the
Iron Sheik's Johnsons but they were just too much for him.

The Great Khali cuts a promo about how he wants more competition and will defend the
WWE European Title against any former champion tonight.

Ernest Miller and Glacier defeated Sylvain Grenier and Alex Wright when
E. Miller pinned Grenier with the Feliner in 0:06:03.
Rating: 1/2*

Blood Runs Cold defeated the odd duo of Alex Wright and Sylvain Grenier. The Cat pinned
Grenier and demands an OSW Television Championship Title Shot but before he could answer,
Snitskrieg and Heidenreich run out, the Fourth Reich beating down all three men and
then they declare they're going to hold all of the gold in OSW.

Judy Bagwell pinned Santino Marella after a headbutt to the groin in 0:09:03.
Rating: *
(Judy Bagwell retained the OSW Women's Title.)

The title aspirations of Santino were dashed when Judy Bagwell delivered a low blow
and then headbutted him in the groin. Rhaka Khan watched from the ramp, obviously
scouting for a future OSW Women's Title Shot.

The Midnight Dandy pinned Kurrgan with the Dandina Cradle in 0:10:57.
Rating: -*** 1/4

The Midnight Dandy beat Kurrgan tonight, much to the disdain of Todd Pettigill, who had
the audacity to claim that the Midnight Dandy is El Dandy. Who would do such a thing? His
T-shirt clearly states that he's not El Dandy. Would an article of clothing lie? Pettigill
is getting drunker with power every week and someone should put a stop to this.

The Great Khali pinned Test with the Tree Slam in 0:10:10.
Rating: -** 1/4
(The Great Khali retained the WWE European Champion.)

Test was the mystery opponent but not the proper competition for Khali. He rolls Test
down as his reign as WWE European Champion continues. Khali raises his hand in the
air and bellows in an insane manner, holding his belt and he clamors for some more
competition.

Mark Henry made Ricky Morton submit to a bearhug in 0:05:26.
Rating: *** 1/2

Henry beat Morton, and Robert Gibson ran out, before they got beat down. Henry says
he's the enforcer to Todd Pettigill and the Rock N Roll Express aren't the top guns
anymore, that honor belongs to the American Males and they will get the OSW Those
Are Some Nice Titles Championship shortly.

The Mountie and The Repo Man defeated
The American Males (Scotty Riggs and Marcus Bagwell) when Man pinned Bagwell
after a piledriver in 0:09:35.
Rating: 1/4*
(The Mountie and The Repo Man retained the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship.)

Mountie and Repo keep the belts secure, despite a fight by the American Males to get
the belts back. They say they are going to get the belts back but the Fourth Reich
are in the rampway, beating down Repo Man and the Mountie, reminding us they're still
owed a title shot for beating down Sylvain Grenier.

Heidenreich pinned Sean Waltman with the Spinning Side Slam in 0:03:08.
Rating: **

Waltman was just a small bump in the road for Heidenreich's title shot in three week's
title. Spin kick is avoided and Heidenreich pinned Waltman effortlessly, reminding us
he will beat Jannetty or whoever has the title.

Marty Jannetty pinned Duane Gill with the Rocker Dropper in 0:00:23.
Rating: *
(Marty Jannetty retained the OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title.)

Squash by Jannetty as his title reign keeps rocking on but out rushes the Midnight
Dandy to attack Jannetty. The crowd is cheering as the Midnight Dandy attacks Jannetty,
before dropping a contract on his chest. What could this be about? We'll find out next
week because we are out of time.


Card rating: 1/2*


MattHarmsPosted on 03/04/09 at 15:18:09

Results of OSW Damn Evil Foreigners 12/6/08:

The Dirty Nasty Foreigners (The Terrorist and Cuba's Top Gun) defeated
The Mean Street Posse (Pete Gas and Rodney) when Terrorist pinned Pete Gas
with the Piledriver in 0:05:22.
Rating: DUD

The Dirty Nasty Foreigners of the Terrorist and Cuba's Top Gun made their debuts
tonight. The Terrorist pinned Pete Gas with the Piledriver. The crowd was booing the
Foreigners because they are foreign and they wear masks. Surely, they won't be allowed
to be around with their foreign ways for long. A true hero like Hacksaw Jim Duggan
needs to stand up to this foreign meanace.

Kurrgan defeated Stevie Ray by disqualification in 0:06:13.
Rating: -*****
[Vincent and Horace Hogan interfered against Kurrgan.]

Kurrgan and Stevie Ray had a speculatural bout, that was ruined by the interference
of Vincent and Horace Hogan! Vincent and Horace beat him down, but Kurrgan is beaten
down three on one, but he comes back and sends all three men reiling with chops! Kurrgan
looks pissed, but it looks like the band is back together. The New World Order has
return to inject the poison in OSW!

Ernest Miller and Glacier defeated Barry Horowitz and Mike Enos when E. Miller
pinned Horowitz with the Feliner in 0:01:43.
Rating: 1/2*

Glacier walked down to the ring for ten minutes, before he and the Cat won this squash
match. They are looking for the OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts Championships and tonight's
win may put them in line for a future title opportunity.

Billy Gunn pinned Snitskrieg with the Fame-Ass-Er in 0:06:02.
Rating: DUD
(Billy Gunn won the WCW Women's Cruiserweight Title.)

Alex Wright comes out, announcing that thanks to the economic crisis, Vince McMahon
has to sell the rights to another pretigious championship belt to Alex Wright...THE
WCW WOMEN'S CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! The greatest belt ever is presented to Snitskrieg
but Billy Gunn comes out, demanding to be Snitskrieg's first challenger. It is on, like
Donkey Kong, and Billy Gunn manages to get another women's championship belt, hitting
the Fame-Ass-Er. The WCW Women's Cruiserweight Title is in the hands of Billy Gunn
now and he could not be any more happy.

Erik Watts and Sylvain Grenier battled to a draw in 0:15:00.
Rating: -*
(Sylvain Grenier retained the OSW Television Title.)

Erik Watts came close to capturing the OSW Television Title but the Television time
limit ran out, giving Grenier the victory. Grenier has managed to eek out another
win and keep his championship belt. He walks to the back, but gets punked by Erik
Watts. Watts has snapped and he puts the STF on Grenier on the ramp! Grenier taps
out, but it doesn't count.

The Midnight Dandy pinned Marcus Bagwell with the Dandina Cradle in 0:09:13.
Rating: * 1/2

Marcus Bagwell has been sent out by Todd Pettigill to unmask the Midnight Dandy who
he believes to be suspended OSW Megastar El Dandy. The announcers Mike Adamle and
Mark Madden speculate on what was in the contract that the Midnight Dandy held
last week. Marcus Bagwell misses the Blockbuster and the Dandina Cradle scores the
pin. Afterwards, Dandy makes the "I want the belt motion" around his waist and Scotty
Riggs rushes out and gets knocked down by Dandy, before getting put in the Dandina
Cradle.

Heidenreich pinned Jim Duggan with the Spinning Side Slam in 0:07:39.
Rating: 3/4*

These two men have had some great battles in the past in OSW and this was the latest
one. Heidenreich has a chance at the big belt in two weeks and scores another win, as
his momentum continues to move forward. Duggan is hit with the Spinning Side Slam for
the pin and Heidenreich is looking forward to the Repo Man and Marty Jannetty match
to see who he will be facing for the gold in two weeks.

Marty Jannetty pinned The Repo Man with the Rocker Dropper in 0:13:34.
Rating: 1/4*
(Marty Jannetty retained the OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title.)

And it will be Marty Jannetty defending Heidenreich in two weeks. Jannetty connects
with the Rocker Dropper for the pin, after Repo Man made a good go. Afterwards, Heidenreich
comes out, staring down Jannetty, but we are out of time. See you next week!


Card rating: 1/4*
MattHarmsPosted on 03/04/09 at 22:59:39

Results of OSW Dream Partner Showdown 12/13/08:

Stevie Ray and Horace Hogan defeated
The Heart Throbs (Romeo Roselli and Antonio Thomas) when S. Ray pinned Antonio
with the Slapjack in 0:06:18.
Rating: -*
[Vincent interfered against Antonio Thomas.]

The New World Order is back together, with an impressive win over the Heart Throbs.
The OSW Those Are Some Nice Belts champions, The Repo Man and the Mountie better be
on notice, because Horace Hogan and Stevie Ray are kicking ass and taken names.

Jim Duggan defeated Cuba's Top Gun by disqualification in 0:04:06.
Rating: -3/4*
[The Terrorist interfered against Jim Duggan.]

Jim Duggan had things under hand, against Cuba's Top Gun, until The Terrorist ran in
and did a no good, dirty foreign thing by jumping Duggan from behind. Duggan gets beaten
down by the two evil foreign bastards and spit on. Surely, they aren't going to stand
for this, because this is America, the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave,
Tough Guy!

Rhaka Khan pinned Awesome Kong after a choke slam in 0:02:03.
Rating: * 3/4

Rhaka Khan shows some impressive moves, squashing some jobber tonight with a choke slam.
She has set the OSW Women's Champion Judy Bagwell on notice.

Billy Gunn made Bobby Walker submit to a cobra clutch in 0:06:51.
Rating: 1/4*
(Billy Gunn retained the WCW Women's Cruiserweight Title.)

Billy Gunn retained his WCW Women's Cruiserweight Championship over Hardwork Bobby
Walker, in a match where Sonny Onoo was bitching about no ethic minorities getting
title shots. So this match happened and Walker was made Gunn's personal
bitch, ending with him submitting to a deadly cobra clutch. Gunn gets on the microphone,
demanding a match against Judy Bagwell for the OSW Women's Title, offering to put his
belt on the line in a unification match to declare the Undisputed World Women's Champion.

Braden Walker and Sylvain Grenier battled to a draw in 0:15:00.
Rating: * 1/2
(Sylvain Grenier retained the OSW Television Title.)

Everyone's favorite one hit wonder, Braden Walker(TEXAS RANGER~!) made his return to
OSW, in a chance to win the OSW Television Title, no doubt his victories over such
legendary competitors such as Armando Estrada and James Curtis in the real ECW put
him in line for a championship title shot. Unfortunately for Braden Walker, the time
limit ran out. And sadly, we will have to wish Braden Walker the best in his future
endeavors for not being able to learn the OSW style.

The Harris Brothers (Ron Harris and Don Harris) and
Rock'n'Roll Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) battled to a draw in
          ::00:20.
Rating: -**** 1/4


Ladies and Gentlemen, we have no winner of this number one contenders match due to
a ten hour draw! Both teams went out it, with all sorts of great technical wrestling
moves and countermoves, but eventually, the ten hour time limit expired, when all
four men, were unable to score the win. As a result, Todd Pettigill comes out,
announcing that the American Males will receive an OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles
Match next week, because neither team was able to score the pin tonight.

The Midnight Dandy pinned Michael Cole with the Dandina Cradle in 0:05:29.
Rating: 1/2*

Michael Cole was the latest man who attempted to unmask the Midnight Dandy. He was
a controlled frenzy, with all kinds of vintage Michael COle offense that busted up
Dandy's skull and left him on the rebound. Cole went for a splash off the bottom rope
and Dandy wrapped him up with the Dandina Cradle for the pin. No word on what was in
the contract that Dandy had two weeks ago.

The Great Khali made Mideon submit to a clawhold in 0:11:01.
Rating: -*** 3/4
(The Great Khali retained the WWE European Champion.)

Mideon is the latest former WWE European Champion to try his luck against the Great
Khali and Khali bulldozes him, before he slaps on the clawhold for the submission.
The Great Khali bellows about wanting more competition as he holds his WWE European
Championship over his head.

The American Males (Scotty Riggs and Marcus Bagwell) defeated Festus and Jesse
when Bagwell pinned Festus after a fisherman suplex in 0:06:25.
Rating: *

Festus and Jesse have patched up their differences, after Kevin Sullivan messed
with Festus's mind over the summer. Unfortunately, that crafty bastard Scotty Riggs
used the ring bell, to put Festus in a dazed state, allowing Bagwell to put him in
the fisherman suplex for the pin.

Judy Bagwell pinned Lauren Jones after an inverted DDT in 0:05:32.
Rating: -*****
(Judy Bagwell retained the OSW Women's Title.)

Judy Bagwell had a great title defense against the legendary former WWE Diva, Lauren
Jones. This was a great match full of hair pulls, slaps, and more slaps. And a drop
toe hold as well. Judy wins with an inverted DDT and out comes Rhaka Khan to get
into it with Judy, as well as Billy Gunn but security comes out, because we have
to get the main event done in time for bingo tonight.

The Fourth Reich (Heidenreich and Snitskrieg) defeated
Sean Waltman and Marty Jannetty when Heidenreich pinned Jannetty with the
Spinning Side Slam in 0:09:49.
Rating: * 1/4

Naturally in this Dream Partner tag team match, Heidenreich choosens Snitskrieg and
Marty Jannetty chooses Sean Waltman, as the title match between Heidenreich and Jannetty
will happen next week. Before the match, Snitskrieg throws out a challenge, demanding
the Midnight Dandy face him in a match versus mask match next week, in what is shaping
up to be a big card. The Fourth Reich defeat the former WWE Tag Team Champions combination,
when Heidenreich pins the champion in the center of the ring. Jannetty has to be
scared stiff, being one more loss away from losing the title and being fired.

Next Week will featuring the American Males against Repo Man and the Mountie for
the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles. Also, Snitskrieg and the Midnight Dandy will
face off in a mask versus mask match, where we will finally see who is one the mask
of one of these wrestlers who have concealed their real idenity so well. Also Jannetty
and Heidenreich, before we leave for a holiday vacation break.


Card rating: -1/4*

(Semi-Scary Thought: The fact that I have something vaguely resembling a long term direction for this circuit qualifies, I think.)
MattHarmsPosted on 03/05/09 at 19:08:51

OSW The Last Show of 2008 12/20/08:

Triangle Match:
Stevie Ray and Horace Hogan defeated
The Harris Brothers (Ron Harris and Don Harris) and
Rock'n'Roll Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) when S. Ray pinned
R. Morton with the Slapjack in 0:08:32.
Rating: 1/2*


The New World Order won this number one contendner's match tonight. However, afterwards,
The Harris Brothers joined Stevie Ray and Horace Hogan, along with Vincent, in beating
down the Rock N Roll Express, before they spray painted "N-W-O" on the backs of the
Rock and Roll Express. It looks like the membership of the NWO has swollen to five.

Jim Duggan defeated The Terrorist by disqualification in 0:04:05.
Rating: -*
[Cuba's Top Gun interfered against Jim Duggan.]

Jim Duggan had the Terrorist on the ropes, but Cuba's Top Gun interferes and they
beat down Duggan, two on one, the no good foreign bastards! Duggan attemps to fight
back but is overwhelmed by the evil nature of these foreign bastards in masks! Duggan
will need some back up, tough guy!

Ernest Miller and Glacier defeated
The Heart Throbs (Romeo Roselli and Antonio Thomas) when E. Miller pinned Romeo
with the Feliner in 0:08:06.
Rating: * 3/4
[Mo Greene interfered against Glacier.]

Glacier and Ernest Miller win against the fabolous Heart Throbs! The Feliner puts
down Romeo as Antonio eats the Cryonic Kick. Afterwards, The Cat challenges the
members of the New World Order to a tag team match for some undetermined point in
the future, because he wants to whoop on them.

Judy Bagwell defeated Rhaka Khan by disqualification in 0:09:03.
Rating: -*
(Judy Bagwell retained the OSW Women's Title.)
[Billy Gunn interfered against Judy Bagwell.]

Judy Bagwell and Rhaka Khan had an epic ocunter for the OSW Women's Title, with Khan
looking like she might win the title but Billy Gunn ran out, to get a piece of
Judy Bagwell and hit her with the WCW Women's Cruiserweight Title Belt for the
disqualification. Afterwards, Rhaka Khan beat up Billy Gunn and laid him out with
the Spinebuster, making him her personal bitch.

The Great Khali pinned Vladimir Kozlov with the Tree Slam in 0:08:13.
Rating: -* 1/2
(The Great Khali retained the WWE European Champion.)

Kozlov, from Russian, tried his hand to win the WWE European Championship against
the Great Khali. He headbutted Khali several times but he could not drop the tree.
Eventually a headbutt is caught into a headvice and then a Tree Slam. Khali gets
on the microphone, talking in Punjabi, before demanding better competition.

Sylvain Grenier and Sean Waltman battled to a draw in 0:15:00.
Rating: **
(Sylvain Grenier retained the OSW Television Title.)

Waltman did his best but Grenier was too much for him and the time limit ran out
once again, keeping the man from Quebec on the top of the OSW Television Title
division. Grenier looks to be settling in as champion.

The Mountie and The Repo Man defeated
The American Males (Scotty Riggs and Marcus Bagwell) when Man pinned Riggs
after a small package in 0:08:11.
Rating: 1/2*
(The Mountie and The Repo Man retained the OSW Those Are Some Nice Titles Championship.)

The American Males might have had OSW General Manager Todd Pettigill in their back
pocket, but the Repo Man and the Mountie were a pair of dastardly bastards and they
cheated without shame. Riggs went for a small package, but Mountie zapped him with
the shock stick, when the referee was taking a nap and the pin is reversed and Repo
Man scores the pin. The title reign continues!

The Midnight Dandy pinned Snitskrieg with the Dandina Cradle in 0:14:08.
Rating: * 1/2

Epic encounter with the masks on the line between these two luchador sensations.
Snitskrieg misses a corner kick and drop toe hold sets up the unblockable Dandina
Cradle for the pin from the Midnight Dandy.

Now is the moment you've all been waiting for, the reveal of the super secret idenity
of Snitskrieg. He slowly undoes his mask to reveal the face of....ROAD WARRIOR ANIMAL!
The Midnight Dandy looks perplexed. However, another Snitskrieg walks out from
underneath an advertisement saying "BABY FOOD", looking rather disappointed and muttering
about "false advertisment" before he enters the ring as Road Warrior Animal walks off,
allowing a brawl to take place between Snitskireg and the Midnight Dandy.

Marty Jannetty pinned Heidenreich with the Rocker Dropper in 0:10:14.
Rating: *
(Marty Jannetty retained the OSW GGUISHIWSHBGB Title.)

Finally the long awaited title clash between Marty Jannetty and Heidenreich took place
and it was an epic battle, with all sorts of nearfalls and false finishes, with
Jannetty pasting Heidenreich with a superkick and hitting him with the Rocker Dropper
to retain the title. What lies ahead for Jannetty in 2009? Tune in then to find out.


Card rating: 3/4*
LillaThrillaPosted on 03/07/09 at 16:19:53

This is like IHLW but worse!  ;D