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DWF 28/04/08

91Posted on 07/28/08 at 20:25:55

I've debuted a few new guys tonight, let's see how this one goes...

We open tonights show in a darkened room. Leaning forward out of the darkness
is none other than PAPA SHANGO!! Shango cackles evily as he makes his
presence felt.

Shango: "Ybo! Tonight is the dawn of a new dark age in the DWF. Tonight is
the beginning of a cursed cloud that will envelop the DWF and all who step
into my way. Tonight I will reign atop the DWF as it's voodoo king, ahahaha!"

Heidenreich (c) vs Matt Bentley (television title)

After the eerie opening of a few moments ago, we go to the ring for a title
defense as Heidenreich goes up against local wrestler Matt Bentley as he
defends the TV title. Bentley was game, but the overwhelming power of
Heidenreich was always going to be too much. In a few short minutes, this
one was in the bag. Bentley had Heidenreich briefly reeled in one of his
few offensive moves of the match as Heidenreich staggered into the corner
but as he charged in, Heidenreich simply picked him up and drilld him with a
huge powerbomb for the victory.

Heidenreich pinned Matt Bently with a powerbomb in 0:03:37.
Rating: 1/2 *
(Heidenreich retained the Television Title.)

After commercial we go back to the ring where DWF owner Shane McMahon is
standing by.

Shane: "In just five short weeks the biggest event of the year takes place
in the DWF, when we present Wrestlefest VIII. The main event for that was
scheduled to be Jerry Lynn defending the world heavyweight title against
Raven. Now that might still be the case, but Lynn will have himself one
more title defense tonight as he puts the belt up against the former champ
tonight Don Muraco."

A big "oooooooh" for that one.

Shane: "Now, commissioner Matt Hardy isn't here tonight, he's on business
but as DWF chairman I'll be taking the reigns for the evening and I have
something I want to address. We receive a lot of letters at the DWF
headquarters, some of which occassionally catch the eye. I received this
one from Marcus in Philadelphia. I'm not going to read it all because it's
a real bore, but suffice to say it did indeed catch the eye. You see, he
says that the DWF sucks because 'it's not nearly as hardcore or extreme as
ECW was', finishing off with 'XTREME 4 LIFE'. Well Marcus, we take all the
letters we receive seriously, and if extreme is what you want, extreme is
what you'll get."

Shane: "As you all know, it is a widely held belief that the fans of the
ECW were just as much, IF NOT MORE SO, a part of the show as the wrestler.
With that in mind, I looked at who the most famous ECW fan was, and I saw
'straw hat man'. Well we've gone one better, sitting at ringside I'd like to
introduce the newest superfan of the DWF - FLAT CAP MAN!"

The camera zooms in to an elderly gentlemen sitting at ringside in a nice
tweed suit. Greying hair, moustache, that sort of thing. He mugs for the
camera a bit, and yes indeed - he does have a flat cap."

Shane: "Flat cap man, how does it feel to be a part of the DWF?"

FCM: "Oh it's great, I've been a big DWF fan for years and I can't wait to
be a part of the show each and every week Shane."

Shane: "Uhhh, that's MISTER McMahon."

FCM: "Sorry, of course, Mister McMahon."

Shane: "Yeah, don't you forget it bitch... now this extreming of the DWF is a
two step plan, and I'll be back out here later in order to carry out stage
two of this and prove that the DWF is far more extreme and far more hardcore
than ECW ever was."

Shane leaves to a good ovation as we go to commercial.

Raven & Dynamité Kid vs La Resistance

With Raven rolling into Wrestlefest as the number one contender, here was a
chance for him to show his stuff in a big tag match and send a message to
Jerry Lynn, alongside former tag team champion partner Dynamite Kid. The
match started off with Raven and Dynamite the much stronger of the two.
Dynamite was in first and he began working over Dupree with a series of
armdrags that floored the Frenchman. Things got worse when Raven tagged in
and began dominating even more. Grenier tried to run in and make amends only
for Raven and Dynamite to quickly clear the ring.

With the crowd pumped up, Raven continued the onslaught when things got going
again, but La Resistance were able to silence the fans when Grenier took a
cheap shot from the apron with the flagpole behind the referees back and
the French duo were quickly in control, with it notably being a relief that
we hadn't had to listen to their usual antics before the match, but even so
they were on top of things here and had managed to cut the ring in half to
keep Raven in their corner as long as possible even though the number one
contenderwasn't about to stay down long enough to get his shoulders counted
down for three but La Resistance kept on coming for some time and their
double teaming was continuing to prove effective until Raven found the
chance to hit them both with a double clothesline, but La Resistance were
ahead of that and both rushed over to take Dynamite off the apron with a pair
of cheapshots, a pair of cheapshots that enraged Dynamite who stormed the
ring to get his revenge and given the circumstances that led to this the
referee allowed it as Dynamite was cleaning house, but as the referee tried
to break things up, Raven was distracted by all the brawling and didn't see
Grenier sneaking up from behind and a roll up was able to put Raven down long
enough to score the upset victory.

La Resistance (Rene Dupree and Sylvain Grenier) defeated Raven and
Dynamite Kid when Grenier pinned Raven with a roll up in 0:11:37.
Rating: *** 1/2

We went backstage to Michael Cole with Kid Kash.

Cole: "Kid Kash, your confidence has been low lately, but how do you go about
such a match in your state of mind when you've got the Loose Cannon Brian
Pillman up next."

Kash: "What can you do but take it one match at a time? Pilman is tough, but
I'm a fighter, and he can expect a fight tonight."

We go outside where Hunter Hearst-Helmsley and Rockabilly are entering the
building.

Helmsley: "You know something Billy, I may just be the classiest guy in the
entire wrestling world today."

Rockabilly: "I agree entirely. You've got the class, the sophistication,
the looks, you've got it all, and I - I have SHUFFLEBILLY!"

Helmsley: "I couldn't agree more."

Suddenly a bedraggled Ted DiBiase walks up holding a tin can.

DiBiase: "PENNY FOR THE POOR!"

Halmsley: "Wait a minute, you're Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase! So THIS is
how you garnered your fortune over all these years. Begging!"

DiBiase: "Uhhhh...."

Helmsley: "Truly, I am the classiest man in wrestling today."

Kid Kash vs Brian Pillman

Brian Pillman took on Kid Kash in what was expected to be a one sided
contest what with Pillmans ruthless streak reaching unhealthy levels in recent
times. Right from the off set, he was so agressive that Kid Kash never really
looked in it. Frequently Pillman would choke Kash out on the ropes or be
ramming his head against something. Naturally Pillman took it to the outside
and used the guardrail to his advantage as well. Luckily for Kash he was
able to steer well clear of where Pillman had kept that glue gun but things
were looking dire and after meeting the ringpost, he was bleeding from the
head.

Pillman was like a shark to the wound and continued to attack as they moved
back to the ring, where he had Kash bent backwards over the ring apron in a
totally unnatural position. Finally Pillman got so carried away that he went
to the outside to fetch a steel chair. The ref managed to get him to drop it
as he climbed into the ring, and this allowed Kash to mount his best period
of offence as despite his state, he used his speed to keep Pillman at bay.
Finally he used the chair to spring onto Pillman in the corner and take
Pillman down with a hurancarana for the victory.

Kid Kash pinned Brian Pillman with a hurancarana in 0:06:37
Rating: **** 1/2

As Kash stands triumphant, out walks Paul Roma, with the Mean Street Posse
walking behind him. Roma has a mic.

Roma: "Kid Kash, how about it, I'm challenging you to a match right now."

Kid Kash indicates that he's all for it and the ref is going to sanction
this one.

Roma: "That's great, but before we start - why are you such a loser Kid
Kash? You never win any major titles and you've never been associated with
anything good in your life. You're a failure Kash, and that's why I'm going
to take you apart."

Kid Kash seems dejected at the remarks as we get this underway.

Kid Kash vs Paul Roma

Kid Kash' state of mind instantly proved a problem as Roma began much
stronger, throwing Kash into the turnbuckles and clamping some holds on him.
Just as Kash tried to fight back with a series of punches, he saw the Posse
cheering on Roma. Once again he looked dejected and that allowed Roma to roll
him up for the quick win.

Paul Roma pinned Kid Kash with a roll up in 0:01:37
Rating: * 3/4

Kid Kash sits up dejectedly as we go backstage to Michael Cole.

Cole: "Heidenreich, successful title defense, what next for you?"

Heidenreich: "Michael Cole, you and I go way back, so you know I'll be
headed for bigger and better things. At Wrestlefest, I want what's mine, I
want the Intercontinental title, and nothing will stop me uniting the belts
and creating the brand new DWF North American title in the process"

Cole: "Big plans for Heidenreich, let's hit the ring again."

Los Villanos vs Steve Corino & Billy Kidman

Despite their loss in their tag title shot last night, Kidman and Corino
looked a cohessive unit again in this one. They certainly looked confident
as they made their way to the ring and once they got going then Los Villanos
never stood a chance. After dominating the opening proceedings, they began
hitting a deries of double team moves on both men, and had soon finished this
one with Corino take Villano IV out with the Expulsion and Kidman pinning
Villano V with the Shooting Star Press.

Billy Kidman and Steve Corino defeated Los Villanos when Kidman pinned
Villano IV with the Shooting Star Press in 0:02:37
Rating: **

Kidman now had himself the mic.

Kidman: "That's great stuff, we're back on track Steve and I know it's just
a matter of time before we get another shot at the world tag team titles. But
you know, there's something I've been meaning to say for a long time. When I
went on that losing streak, I think I know why it was. I was distracted
Steve, that's right, distracted by my feelings. I've been wanting to say
this for a long time and now is the right time."

Corino looks nervous as Kidman drops down to one knee.

Kidman: "Steve, I LOVE YOU!! Will you marry me?"

Corino: "Oh Billy, a thousand times yes!"

The two embrace as the fans are slightly surprised... I guess this means
they're gay... they sure kept that a secret for a long time.

Corino: "You like me Billy, you REALLY like me!"

The two walk off hand in hand as we go over to Shane McMahon.

McMahon: "Phase one of the extreming of the DWF has been completed, now onto
phase two. See, I realised we needed more extreme superstars and here
tonight I want to introduce the two newest extreme wrestlers in the DWF,
Ultimo Dragon and Sabu!"

One at a time the two enter and sure enough we go straight to the ring for a
hardcore matchup.

Samu vs Ultimo Dragon (extreme rules)

The pair of them wasted no time in bringing this one to more extreme levels
as straight away the two of them were bounding off the ropes and hitting
some high impact moves. Dragon had slammed Sabu down and nailed a moonsault
that only got two. Moments later Sabu repeated the act and got a moonsaults
of his own for two. Soon they were outside getting various apparatus for
their own amusement. It was Sabu that began utilising the weapons first,
cracking Dragon with a hard chair shot that got two. Sabu then went for one
of his most patented moves, the Triple Jump Moonsault, but slipped off the
ropes at the last second. Dragon quickly took the chance to get a near fall
of his own. Sabu quickly floored him and went for the same move again, this
time just about hitting it for two.

Sabu then went to the outside to find himself a table. Bringing it back into
the ring, it took him a couple of minutes to set up but Dragon was evidently
still hurt as Sabu was able to go to the top rope and go for another
moonsault. Sabu didn't quite hit all of it as he only just caught Dragon
with his arms. The table didn't break but clearly Dragon had taken the move
well enough as he sort of rolled off onto the canvas for Sabu to get another
count of two. Dragon now began to fight back and threw Sabu to the outside.
Dragon met Sabu with a big plancha that just about hit after Dragon had
slipped and got hit foot caught on the ropes but it was enough to put Sabu
down for another two count outside the ring.

Now it was Sabu fighting back as he whipped Dragon through another table he
had earlier set up. Grabbing a chair, Sabu reared back and threw it in the
general direction of Dragon. Amazingly he missed and the chair smacked flat
cap man square in the face. Both Sabu and Dragon weren't really sure what
to do here as paramedics came down to the ring. The referee wisely decided to
call it there as flat cap man got the necessary treatment.

No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:
Ultimo Dragon defeated Sabu by disqualification in 0:08:37.
Rating: -*

John Cena & Mystery partner vs Larry Zbyszko & Johnathan Coachman

We had earlier learn that John Cena would be finding himself a mystery
partner in order to help quash the threat of Larry Zbyszko once and for all
tonight, and Cena wasted no time in grabbing a mic to introduce him.

Cena: "Larry Zbyszko, in my eyes you are the scum of the earth. I've done
everything a man can do to you - made prank phone calls to your house,
ordered you takeaways you didn't want, hell just now I even set fire to your
car."

Zbyszko is livid and has to be held back by Coach.

Cena: "But I needed a partner with honour and dignity and the respect needed
to make you look bad. And you know, the DWF has never been all about
timeframes, hell last time the three of us did this my partner was Bruno
Sammartino, I wasn't even born when the guy retired the first time. But you
know what, with that in mind, I've dug up someone from the past that will
really put you in your place. He's a big star from the 90's... the 1890's
that is - ladies and gentlemen, another great wrestler from yesteryear,
ABRAHAM LINCOLN!"

The fans excitedly rise to their feet and cheer on Abraham Lincoln as he
makes his entrance. Indeed, the DWF has never been about timeframes, so it's
good to see honest Abe here and looking in great shape.

The match got underway quickly enough and Cena started off with Zbyszko.
These two have been waring for some time and the intensity continued here.
That said, Zbyszko looked distracted at the mere presence of the former
champion and Cena was on top until a cheapshot by Coach from the apron swung
the tide. For the next few minutes Zbyszko and Coach worked Cena over, all
the while Lincoln tried to get the fans motivated and was always reaching
for the tag. Finally Cena took down both Coach and Zbyszko at the same time
with a double clothesline and staggered over to his corner.

Shockingly before he could make the tag, Lincoln sprung over the ropes and
took Cena's head off with a huge clothesline. Cackling evily, he dragged
Cena back to the middle of the ring, while the ref admonished him the whole
time. There was nothing the ref could do however as all three men put the
boots to him before Lincoln and Zbyszko finished off Cena with a spiked
piledriver for the win.

Larry Zbyszko and Johnathan Coachman defeated John Cena and Abraham
Lincoln when Zbyszko pinned Cena with a piledriver in 0:09:37
Rating: * 1/4

As Lincoln sneered evily, he, Zbyszko and Coach all embraced. Apparently this
was one big plot between the three of them all along. The trio left to a
massive chorus of boos from the capacity crowd.

Chris Jéricho vs Rene Dupree

In what was expected to be a routine match for Chris Jericho, he took on
the ever wily Frenchman Rene Dupree. Despite Dupree jumping Jericho from
behind at the get go, it was soon Jericho in control of things as he
began enforcing the pace of this one. After slugging him down in the corner,
Jericho took Durpee down with a huge spinning heel kick that had Dupree out
for the count. Jericho lined up an Lionsault but had to abort the move as
THE BEZERKER hit the ring for an instant DQ.

Chris Jericho defeated Rene Dupree by disqualification in 0:04:37.
Rating: ** 3/4

The Bezerker was carrying some kind of briefcase and hit Jericho over the
head several times with it, staggering Jericho back. Jericho however is a
fighter and soon began nailing Bezerker with several right hands that
rocked the big Norseman. As Bezerker wobbled back, he opened up the briefcase
right into Jericho's face - BEES!!

Jericho was attacked by a swarm of bees from Bezerker's briefcase and began
flailing away desperately, all the while Bezerker laughed demonically at his
actions. But Jericho was very wise, and began doing nothing, knowing full
well that when a bee stings you, it dies. Soon all the bees were dead, and
Jericho had outsmarted the Bezerker as he left the ring proudly. If he'd not
though to do that, then what would have happened was that the bees would
have gone and... you know what, this was ALWAYS going to happen.

In the ring, the Bezerker began sifting sadly through his dead bees, before
charging over to the ropes to shout angrily at Jericho.

Bezerker: "MYYYYYYYYYYYY BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!! I'll get you."

Jericho : "I'll get you."

Bezerker: "I'll GET you."

Jericho: "I'LL get you."

Bezerker: "I'll get YOU!!"

Jericho headed to the back while Bezerker was clearly fuming in the ring.
We have since learnt that these two will square off at Wrestlefest VIII.

Jerry Lynn (c) vs Don Muraco (world heavyweight title)

So the big rematch from Last Man Standing that everyone was waiting for.
Many people had said that Muraco was robbed following the circumstances of
the finish and this was his chance to right that. That said, Jerry Lynn did a
magnificent job in turning things around after getting beat decisively by
Muraco back at Retribution for the title.

The two men started by staring each other down before pacing around the ring
and locking up. It was Lynn who struck first, peppering Muraco with a
series of right hands from the bell, rocking the big man, causing him to
stagger from the ring, but remain on his feet. Lynn followed and Jeff Hardy
tried to get in the way, but got blasted for his troubles. As Lynn moved in
while the ref ushered Hardy away, Muraco got in his first blow, ramming
Lynn from behind, right into the ring post. Already Lynn looked vunerable
and Muraco sensed it, grabbing Lynn and ramming him back first into the
post, leaving the champion to crumple to the floor.

As Muraco stood proud in the ring, Lynn managed to clamber back inside and
began taking on Muraco again. Seemingly there was no way of putting the
champion down. Suddenly a bolt of lightning hit the top of the ramp and out
from the smoke walked PAPA SHANGO!! Both Lynn and Muraco stopped, not sure
what was going on. Shango began going into that trance that he's known for,
then suddenly the ring suddenly began tipping over, sending both men, as well
as the referee tumbling from the ring. Naturally this was a no contest.

Jerry Lynn and Don Muraco battled to a no contest in 0:14:37.
Rating: *** 3/4
(Jerry Lynn retained the Heavyweight Title.)

The ring meanwhile continued to rise up. Suddenly it became apparent what
was happening - PAPA SHANGO HAD USED HIS VOODOO POWERS TO BRING THE RING TO
LIFE!! The steel steps were now functioning as makeshift feet, two massive
eyes sprouted out of the top, while three sets of ropes flailed from all four
turnbuckles acting as fierce tentacles, while a large maw had grown in the
middle of the canvas. Both Lynn and Muraco ran away to safety, while the ring
roared out in anger, before using its tentacles to grab COLOUR COMMENTATOR
MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE and gobble him up. The fans were all screaming in
terror and trying to get away. One man who was too slow was flat cap man,
and he promptly was snatched up and eaten as well. Now the ring was using
his tentacle ropes to grab fans and throw them around the arena, sometimes
snapping them in two first. All the while Papa Shango stood laughing at the
top of the ramp, microphone in hand.

Shango: "HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA, YYYYYBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BEHOLD MY POWERS,
NOW ALL THE DWF SHALL BOW BEFORE MY FEET, AND THEN THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD!
ONLY I KNOW OF THE POWERS THAT CAN BRING THIS BEAST DOWN, YOU ALL HAVE NO
CHOICE BUT TO GIVE IN TO MY DEMANDS AND....... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

With that, the ring marches loudly over, grabs Shango and devours him whole
as well. Of all the evil forces that have been seen in professional wrestling
over the years, who will be able to stop - THE RING!!!
Snabbit888Posted on 07/28/08 at 21:51:36

Um... the hell is this?
91Posted on 07/28/08 at 22:48:17

On 07/28/08 at 21:51:36, Snabbit888 wrote:Um... the hell is this?
OK, that cracked me up.  ;D
Snabbit888Posted on 07/28/08 at 23:47:16

On 07/28/08 at 22:48:17, 91 wrote:

OK, that cracked me up. ;D
Is it sad that the most confusing part of this for me was, "When the hell did Heidenreich win the TV Title?"

:)
91Posted on 07/28/08 at 23:52:03

On 07/28/08 at 23:47:16, Snabbit888 wrote:

Is it sad that the most confusing part of this for me was, "When the hell did Heidenreich win the TV Title?"

:)
Ummmm.... house show? Backstage? Did I mention there's a 24/7 rule but nobody had ever brought it up until now? Also all the wrestlers had a Smackdown vs Raw tournament and he won the Money in the Bank match and then cashed it in that morning. Yeah, I should have mentioned that before.
JoshiQPosted on 07/30/08 at 21:01:15

What's really sad is I'm trying to catch up with circuits on here, and I quickly discarded this as something not worth reading. Then I saw your card posted today.

Now I gotta go back and read all the old ones. :)
91Posted on 07/30/08 at 21:14:22

I'm hurt and offended that you didn't think this version of the show was sports entertainment exacly how it was intended to be back when Lou Thesz, Bruno Sammartino and Rikidozan were paving the way.
91Posted on 08/05/08 at 22:24:44

By the way, while I'm thinking about it... I really wish I'd used Phantasio on this show.