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DWF Ground Zero (27/04/08)

91Posted on 06/18/08 at 23:26:01

Chris Jericho vs Hector Guerrero

In the nights opening contest, Hector Guerrero took on former world champion
Chris Jericho and had Mando Guerrero accompany him for good measure. Jericho
looked good early on until Hector resorted to cheating by getting Mando on the
outside to steal Jerichos attention long enough to allow Hector to take the
advantage for a period. Hector looked in good condition as he worked over
Jericho, until Jericho made his comeback good. Jericho made his way to the
top only for Hector to distract the ref while Mando tripped Jericho, crotching
him on the top turnbuckle. Hector then ran up to hit a capture suplex from the
top much like he did at the last Clash of the Champions but Jericho blocked and
shoved him off before hitting a missile dropkick. An asai moonsault followed,
despite Mandos best efforts to trip him, and Jericho picked up the big
victory.

Chris Jericho pinned Hector Guerrero after an Asai moonsault in 0:09:20.
Rating: *** 1/4

We go backstage to see Matt Hardy, bodyguards in tow, standing beside an
extremely impressive looking spread of food. Michael Cole is on hand.

Cole: "Matt Hardy, I want to..."

Hardy: "Let me stop you there, it's COMMISSIONER Matt Hardy to you, the cult
leader of the DWF and a damned good looking guy at that."

Cole: "Sorry - COMMISSIONER Matt Hardy, I was going to ask what is with all of
this behind us, this looks like a great buffet."

Hardy: "I am celebrating Michael Cole, I am celebrating that tonight, that
egotistical jerk Jody Fleisch gets put away almost once and for all."

Cole: "Almost?"

Hardy: "Almost because I've asked Brian Pillman to keep the guy alive long
enough for me to finish him off once and for all at Wrestlefest. But because
I know Brian is just the man for the job, and because I know that the card I
have put on tonight is so impressive that Shane McMahon will be ringing me up
to give me a big pay rise, I'm in party mood, so I've laid out a buffet for
everyone not named Jody because I'm the commissioner that likes to give back
to the DWF. I'm revered by the fans AND by the wrestlers so to show how
grateful I am, I picked up all this food earlier. And don't think about trying
to sneak any of it back home Cole, the use by date for most of this stuff is
today."

Cole: "Ummm, I'll bear that in mind. Let's go back to ringside."

Back in the ring, Rockabilly enters to a hugely negative reaction, along with
Hunter Hearst-Helmsley in tow who seems to be giving him a lot of encouragement
for his upcoming match. Rockabilly, it seems, has other plans, and grabs a
mic.

Rockabilly: "Listen, I know what the DWF is trying to pull here, my match with
Brad Armstrong was supposed to come after - AFTER he wrestled in that six man
tag. What they've done is not fair, I shouldn't have to wrestle him first, I
could get... I mean, he could get hurt wrestling all these matches. Actually I
have a much better idea. I propose that right here, right now, we CANCEL our
match."

The fans don't seem to enthusiastic about this one. No way will Rockabilly be
allowed out of this one.

Rockabilly: "No, hear me out, I'm not saying we don't square off, but he can't
possibly be expected to go out there and face a guy like Don Muraco right after
facing a guy like me, he could get seriously injured, and I'd hate for that to
happen. So instead, I propose that right here tonight, we go at it in, are you
ready for this, we go at it in... A DANCE OFF!!"

The fans are about ready to riot at this point.

Buffer: "Llllllllllllllladies and gentlemen, will "The Rock" buy Rockabillys
attempt to pussy his way out of the match, let's find out by bringing out the
man himself."

"The Rock" Brad Armstrong then enters to a thunderous response. Rockabilly
seems more distracted with efforts to try and establish what exactly it was
Michael Buffer just said. The Rock, naturally, has a mic in hand as he climbs
into the ring.

Brad: "So let The Rock get this straight, instead of going at it, one on one,
in a fight, like real men, you want to go one on one in a dance off like John
Travolta?"

Rockabilly: "Now I know what you're thinking Rock, but don't worry, I think
you've got some great moves and I'm sure you'll get some decent scores. And I
PROMISE that I won't use Shufflebilly, no mortal man could expect to win a dance
off against that kind of standard, but I've got some other stuff up my sleeve,
so let's get some dance music going and get this thing rolling."

Some naff dance music hits up and Rockabilly starts strutting his stuff. On the
plus side, he keeps to his promise not to hit Shufflebilly, on the down side,
what he is doing is pretty awful. The announcers contemplate whether some of
the strobe lights at ringside are making him have a fit. Finally Armstrong gets
bored of this and slaps the taste right out of Rockabillys mouth to get the real
match underway.

"The Rock" Brad Armstrong vs Rockabilly

Brad Armstrongs first match of two saw him go against nemesis Rockabilly.
Despite Rockabillys early attempt to get out of the match, he was in a fight
here and for the majority of the contest, it was all Armstrong. After going
through a lot of 'Rock' repetoire moves, Helmsley tripped Brad from the
outside to give Rockabilly a brief chance to get some moves in. It didn't last
as Armstrong ducked a charge into the corner and came back. The Rock Bottom
soon followed as did the Peoples Elbow, with Brad nailing Helmsley as he came
onto the apron whilst he performed the move. The pinfall was academic and
finally Armstrong had some retribution over Rockabilly.

Brad Armstrong pinned Rockabilly with the Peoples Elbow in 0:05:53.
Rating: * 3/4

We go backstage to see Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon getting set for their match,
backs to one another, in stoney silence. Briefly, they glance at one another,
before going back without saying a word.

Elsewhere we see the Rock'n'Roll Express getting prepared in pretty much the
same manner, before Morton breaks the silence.

Morton: "I think you should let me have the pin tonight."

Gibson: "Only if you stop hogging the limelight."

Both men look ready to snap, but instead just give a sound of disgust and go
back to silence.

Elsewhere, Michael Cole is with a team showing no signs of any dissension (even
if their opponents might be).

Cole: "Pretty Perfect, the tag team champions of the world, coming up later
tonight you face the team of Billy Kidman and Steve Corino. Your thoughts
going into this big title defense."

Hennig: "You know, Kidman and Corino, when they're on the same page they make a
good team, they may even make a great team, but they don't make a... PERFECT
team quite like Pretty Perfect make the perfect combination."

Hart: "That's right, I'll admit that Kidman was a great world champion and
Steve Corino has been a great television champion but neither of them has what
it takes to be... PERFECT and couldn't take us on one on one, let alone facing
the greatest tag team combination in history. We are making strides once again
to becoming the greatest tag team champions in history and not even a team like
Kidman and Corino can stop us."

Hennig: "And if you think Billy Kidman is miserable now because he can't seem
to recapture his old form, how do you think he's going to feel when we defeat
him absolutely PERFECTLY here tonight."

The Rock'n'Roll Express vs Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon

Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon have had their problems in recent weeks, even more
so the Rock'n'Roll Express have had their fallings out. Early on, Furnas and
LaFon had the advantage as they worked over Morton, but were making some very
stiff tags to one another. Gibson meanwhile wasn't impressed with how Morton
was faring in the ring and came in to fight without making a tag. Rolling
Morton to the outside, he carried on things with LaFon. Furnas came in illegally
as well and went for his dropkick, only to nail LaFon who tumbled to the
outside. Furnas and Gibson were left to grapple and they too tumbled out.
Morton then pulled Gibson aside and began shoving him. Gibson shoved back and
the two wandered down the aisle. Meanwhile Furnas and LaFon were also
bickering away and neither team seemed even remotely concerned about the count,
bringing about a draw.

Doug Furnas & Phil Lafon (Doug Furnas and Phil Lafon) and
The Rock'n'Roll Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) battled to a
double countout in 0:03:41.
Rating: ***

At the bell, Furnas and LaFon are still squaring up and shoving each other
back down the aisle. Meanwhile the Rock'n'Roll Express are both back up and
jawing up to one another at ringside. Finally after a couple of shoves, Ricky
and Robert finally come to blows and not even three officials seem to be able
to seperate them. Gibson slips and Morton looks to put the boots to him, when
Morton is whacked from behind by a steel chair shot from Furnas, and we
understand LaFon has been left lying in the aisle too. Furnas storms off as he
throws the chair down angrily.

Backstage Matt Hardy is still hanging out as his buffet when the Young Lions
wander on.

Hardy: "OK, what are you two idiots doing here?"

York: "We're here for the free food."

Matthews: "Plus we're searching for mysteries to solve."

York: "And we wanted to give you some of this pie to add to the feast."

Hardy: "That actually looks quite nice... it's not got any nuts in right? I'm
allergic."

Matthews: "None whatsoever. We couldn't find any to add."

York: "Maybe we could solve the mystery of where all the nuts went?"

Larry Zbyszko wanders on, Coach in tow.

Zbyszko: "You guys HAVE a mystery to solve, I'm paying you to dig the dirt on
John Cena, what have you guys dug up so far?"

Matthews: "He vandalises cars."

Zbyszko: "I already told you, I KNOW that already. I mean proper dirt that I
can embarass him with. Now shut up, I've got to make a phone call to my
insurance people, SOMEBODY put a big scratch in my car this morning."

Matthews: "Hurrah, another mystery for us to solve."

Zbyszko: "Damnit, I already know it was Cena."

York: "Will that do for dirt?"

Zbyszko: "NO!"

Zbyszko begins dialling on his mobile, while Coach has some words with Matt.

Coach: "Cena has been a big doodie-head to Larry long enough Matt, I want my
protege to have a match with Cena next month at Wrestlefest."

Hardy: "You know what Coach, I'm going to make the match, if only to shut the
lot of you up for good. You OK with that Larry?"

Zbyszko: "I'm on hold, some stupid 'Wordlife' rap song."

Hardy: "Never heard of it. Fine Coach, you've got your match. Now sit back,
and watch the genius of my work as later on, Jody Fleisch gets near annihlated
by Brian Pillman."

Hardy smugly takes a bite of some pie, and promptly spits it out.

Hardy: "You morons, I can taste peanuts in this. You said there were no nuts
in this."

York: "Peanuts aren't a nut."

Matthews: "They're a legume."

With that, the Lions dance off, leaving an angry Hardy as we switch to Michael
Cole with upcoming opponents, The Syndicate and Sean O'Haire.

Cole: "Gentlemen, you've been thrown into this match as a result of
circumstances, a two on one handicap match. Lance Storm, Ken Shamrock, do you
plan on taking it easy on Sean O'Haire given that this is a handicap match."

Storm: "Cole, under normal circumstances we might have, but there's a tag title
shot riding on this match, and there's no way we're going to risk throwing that
away for anyone, not even you Sean."

Shamrock: "Besides, we know what Sean can do when the odds are stacked against
him. It's nice to have the odds in our favour for once, so we're going to do
everything we can to make sure we win at all costs."

Cole: "Well in that case, might you think about making an early exit in this
one Sean O'Haire to avoid getting hurt?"

O'Haire: "Maybe I would, usually it would be more productive to focus my
energies on those who have made this happen, who have tried to make life
difficult for me. But then there's the lure of the world championship to think
about, and the chance I have to take it should I be able to overcome such odds.
Yes, it's all come about because of Brian Pillman and his fixation on the non
realities, and it's all come about because of the decisions and the choices
that Matt Hardy have made in a poor effort to satisfy his own libido, but the
opportunity is there and I'm going to have to do what it takes to secure victory
tonight."

Cole: "A lot of tension here, let's go back out to ringside."

Handicap match: The Syndicate vs Sean O'Haire

The handicap match set up by Hardy wasn't one that any of the participants were
keen on but with the stakes as high as they were, nobody was going to hold back
on this one. O'Haire was at the obvious disadvantage but with the referee
enforcing the rule of only one Syndicate member in the ring at one time.
Despite O'Haire being the sort of guy who can fight off multiple opponents,
two the quality of the Syndicate were always going to wear him out sooner or
later and sure enough, he found himself being worked over pretty hard.

O'Haire fought back and made his comeback good on Lance Storm but the fatigue
factor was setting in. An exhausted O'Haire was putting the finishing touches
to Storm but a blind tag caught him completely unawares and Ken Shamrock came
in with a huge belly to belly suplex. Shamrock got the better of O'Haire and
even when O'Haire managed briefly to fight back, The Syndicate made a second
blind tag, allowing Storm to slip back in and hit a small package on O'Haire
for the victory. In a display of sportsmanship, the Syndicate members helped
O'Haire to his feet and gave him his due for his brave effort, but it will now
be The Syndicate heading to Wrestlefest for a shot at the tag team titles.

Handicap-Match:
The Syndicate (Lance Storm and Ken Shamrock) defeated Sean O'Haire when L. Storm
pinned O'Haire after a small package in 0:08:14.
Rating: **** 1/4

We go backstage to Michael Cole.

Cole: "Right now I'm standing with Alex Wright, Ulf Herman and with his manager
Jeff Hardy the captain of the team Don Muraco. Gentlemen, ahead of you tonight
is quite the challenge."

Muraco: "You call this a challenge? Let the facts speak for themselves Cole,
this gentlemen here, Alex Wright, has already defeated Brad Armstrong. I think
we've ALL had a piece of Dynamite Kid at one time or another and I'm getting
so tired of defeating Raven these days..."

Cole: "Let me remind you that two weeks ago he did indeed score a victory over
you on..."

Muraco: "Let ME remind you that it was by a disqualification. He didn't pin my
shoulders to the mat. Sure, everyone makes a big song and dance about that one
time he did when he got lucky, and now everybody is making a big deal about how
Jerry Lynn beat me. Beating me IS a big deal, that's why there's always this
fuss, and I've never even been defeated clean, let's make that perfectly clear."

Cole: "So will you be using this match to stake your place as the number one
contender again?"

Muraco: "Cole, that title should NEVER have been taken from me, Jerry Lynn
robbed me at Last Man Standing, and I should have had the rematch at Wrestlefest
but I got screwed by..."

An uneasy silence follows as everyone remembers it was Ulf who had a part in
Muracos elimination in last months Royal Rumble.

Wright: "Ahhh, Herr Muraco, do not worry, my employee, he knows his place and
his job is to contribute to this teams triumph tonight and ensure you regain
your rightful place as world champion, und I, Alex Wright, haben meinen
Intercontinental championship of der vorld."

Hardy: "The only downside to this whole situation is how I'm being screwed
around by having to defend MY cruiserweight title at Wrestlefest. The pain that
I'm feeling has brought me to write this haiku."

Everyone else looks nervously at one another.

Hardy: "Screwed - I am Jeff, champ
       My anguish never subsides
       My face paint is green"

Cole: "Fantastic."

Muraco: "Just bear this in mind Cole, this is the strongest team imaginable in
wrestling and we will stop at nothing to end the threat of our three so called
opponents. By the time we're through, Raven won't even make it to his title
rematch at Wrestlefest and they'll have no choice but to nominate me in his
place."

We switch to see Steve Corino lacing up, all the while admiring himself in the
reflection cast by his television title which sits nicely on a shelf in front
of him. Billy Kidman approaches.

Corino: "Hey Billy, tonight's the night."

Kidman: "Yeah, sure is."

Corino: "Tonight, we take our rightful place as the greatest team there is, and
we can use that platform to springboard you back to the world title, and of
course myself as the greatest television champion of all time."

Kidman: "But mostly me and the world title, right?"

Corino: "Of course, Billy, I wouldn't have it any other way."

Kidman: "I mean, you already have your belt, nothing but you getting beat in a
TV title match is going to change that."

Corinos expression sours a little.

Kidman: "Uhhh, not that that's too likely of course. But the important thing is
that I come across as the world champion elect like I ought to be."

Corino: "Don't worry, Pretty Perfect might think they're perfect, but they're
not a patch on us. The future world champion and the current and greatest TV
champ ever, those tag team titles are practically ours."

Kidman nods in a reassured manner as we head back to the ring.

Pretty Perfect (c) vs Billy Kidman & Steve Corino (tag team titles)

The tag team titles were on the line and with neither team being what you would
call fan favourites, the crowd opinion was fairly split between the two teams.
Neither team really created the edge early on and a tightly fought contest
ensued. Billy Kidman looked notably good on this occassion in the early stages,
managing to work over both men successfully. Still, the tag team niche fell
firmly in the favour of Pretty Perfect and when they began to get one over,
tempers frayed on the Kidman/Corino camp and they got far more aggresive with
the reigning champions.

With friction mounting between both teams, none of the four men looked set to
crack and eventually it all fell apart with all four men brawling in and
around the ring. Finally Kidman and Corino looked to have gotten first blood
when Corino sprang off the ringsteps to hit the Old School Expulsion to Owen
Hart on the outside. Corino seemed to land hard though, and it left Hennig and
Kidman in the ring by themselves. Kidman was looking good again. Hennig rallied
briefly to baseball slide Corino on the outside as he got to his feet but
Kidman was quickly back in control and after a back suplex, he was close, but
as he ran off the ropes, he was tripped from the outside by Owen. Kidman
staggered and Hennig quickly locked in the Perfect Plex to pull off a huge
victory and retain the titles.

Pretty Perfect (Owen Hart and Curt Hennig) defeated
Billy Kidman & Steve Corino (Billy Kidman and Steve Corino) when C. Hennig
pinned Kidman with the Perfect Plex in 0:20:26.
Rating: ****
(Pretty Perfect retained the Tag Team Titles.)

As Pretty Perfect leave, celebrating their win, Billy Kidman has clambered back
to his feet. Looking around, he sees Steve Corino is on the outside collecting
his Television title. Kidman not knowing what to make of the whole situation
simply throws his arms in disgust and storms out. Corino sees what's happening
and tries to catch him up as we go backstage to Michael Cole.

Cole: "Raven, tonight you lead your team into battle before the big showdown
between you and the champion next month at Wrestlefest."

Raven: "One more time, I'm forced to do battle with Don Muraco, but this time
he's tried to up the odds in his favour. I listen to what he has to say about
taking me out of Wrestlefest, but the road to what we've created shall not be
broken by you Muraco, not tonight nor any other night. On this night, you
cannot take our advantage, not you nor the weak you have stand behind you as
your teammates."

Armstrong: "And let The Rock say this Michael Cole, the smackdown shall be
layethed on these three jabronis roody poo candy asses, just like The Rock did
earlier to that roody poo Rockabilly. Alex Wright and Ulf Herman, The Rock
wants you both to do yourselves a favour - get yourselves some of your
lederhosen, maybe a glass of German beer, and then take a nice big piece of
bratwurst. Then The Rock wants you to take that bratwursts, shine it up real
nice, turn that sonbitch sideways and stick it straight up each others candy
ass. As far as Don Muraco goes, you jabroni are far too busy listening to Jeff
Hardy writing you romantic poetry to be a threat to The Rock. The Rock and his
team will without a shadow of a doubt be standing victorious when it's all said
and done, if you smell what The Rock is cooking."

Raven: "Muraco, you might have the size and strength in numbers, but whatever
happens tonight, you know that we've taken your number once and for all. Quoth
the Raven, Muraco... nevermore."

We go back to the ring where Juventud Guerrera is making his entrance. And
sadly he has a few words for us.

Guerrera: "The greatest cruiserweight in the world is here. I, Juventud Guerrera
in this, the year of the Juvi, standing between me and a shot at what ought to
be MY cruiserweight title is Divvy Bore-em, with nothing more than a stupid
scowl to challenge me with. I shall not be defeated and at Wrestlefest VIII, I
shall finally be the cruiserweight champion of the world."

Devon duly enters to interrupt Juventuds spiel and we get things underway.

#1 contenders match: Devon Storm vs Juventud Guerrera

With a cruiserweight title shot on the line at Wrestlefest, Juventud Guerrera
and Devon Storm both had that extra determination in their match. Guerreras
usual pre-match spiel did nothing to rile up Devon and the two DWF veterans
went right at it in a fast paced encounter. Devon took control and twisted
Juventud around to the best of his ability. Guerrera was struggling in the
early stages but soon came back after crotching Devon on the top and shoving
him to the arena floor.

Guerrera was on top for a while, but after posing a little too much and wasting
time, he missed the big 450 splash. Devon soon was back in control and after
hitting a big falcon arrow, the end was clearly in sight. The Thunderclap
Brainbuster was hit and Devon Storm will be heading to Wrestlefest to take
his title shot against Jeff Hardy.

Number-One-Contenders-Match:
Devon Storm pinned Juventud Guerrera with the Thunderclap Brainbuster in
          0:08:07.
Rating: **** 1/4

As Devon celebrates the win, we go backstage to see Matt Hardy still at the
buffet. Also still there is larry Zbyszko.

Matt: "Still on hold then Larry?"

Zbyszko: "These nitwits are taking the mick now, they're playing 'who's going
to drive you home tonight'."

At this point, Jeff Hardy wanders on.

Matt: "Ahhh, brother Jeff, how goes your evening?"

Jeff: "It sucks Matt, you've got me having to face that lunatic Devon Storm at
Wrestlefest now. As if I didn't have enough on my mind with Raven and Armstrong
and Dynamite Kid tonight, now I have to be looking over my shoulder at all
times for that demented stalker."

Matt: "Relax. You're the second greatest cruiserweight in the world today,
right?"

Jeff: "Second."

Matt: "I've been watching my weight lately. But you're the next best, you're
better than this Devon Storm guy, right?"

Jeff: "Well sure I am Matt, it's just..."

Matt: "Great, so you'll have no problems. And just think, retaining your title
on THE biggest stage in wrestling, beating a former Intercontinental champion
in Devon Storm, how great will you look?"

Jeff: "Well... pretty great."

Matt: "Exactly. Besides, just remember, I have a lot of stroke here, I can
make life as easy or as hard as I like."

Roma: "HEY HARDY!"

Yep, Paul Roma and his entourage have wandered along. Gas and Rodney take a
back seat at this point to smuggle as much food down their robes as possible
while Paul Roma has a quick word.

Matt: "What do you want Roma?"

Roma: "I'm sick of this. You and me, we go WAY back, I was an important part
of Team Matt in the day. Remember?"

Matt: "If you count bag boy as important."

Roma: "So why am I not on this pay-per-view? I just saw Devon Storm out there,
what's he got that I haven't?"

Matt: "Talent?"

Roma: "That's not true. I'm also popular. You told me the other week you
always make more money when I'M wrestling."

Matt: "We put you out there when popcorn sales out back are slacking. That's
why you make the DWF money."

Jeff: "Maybe he can do something to earn a pay-per-view spot."

Roma: "Now Jeff, he's a true friend, he knows that the DEVASTATING EVIL that
lingers inside me is worthy of a big pay day."

Jeff: "I was thinking, if he could win a big match tomorrow against Devon
Storm, perhaps he could earn a place on the Wrestlefest card?"

Matt: "Whatever. The arena we're at tomorrow night was asking if we could help
them boost the income in their pay toilets somehow."

Roma: "Great, then I shall strike him down and earn my spot in the main event
of Wrestlefest. Mwuhahaha."

Matt: "I never mentioned the main event."

Roma: "MWUAHAHAHAHA!"

Larry: "Will you keep it down you numskull, I think they just said my call is
the next one. They've got me listening to Greensleeves and I don't think I
can take much more."

Matt: "Look, you'll get... some sort of match if you win. And if you lose,
you'll be FIRED!"

Roma: "Really?"

Matt: "Hells no, we haven't sold enough of my new line of Matt Hardy t-shirts
this month, I need excuses to get people leaving the ringside area and heading
to the merchandise stands. Now get lost you morons."

Roma: "Come my disciples, we have a gameplan to form."

Gas and Rodney, now with food spilling out of their pockets, join Roma in
heading off as Matt Hardy shakes his head with disgust.

Back in the ring, Jody Fleisch enters for his match, looking just a tad
nervous. Brian Pillman comes out, and the psychopath is carrying a damn glue
gun to the ring. Suffice to say Jody looks VERY put out at that, and god only
knows what Pillman has in mind with that thing. He then finds a spare socket
going on an adaptor at ringside and leaves it to charge before tearing into
the ring and going right for Fleisch.

Jody Fleisch vs Brian Pillman

Brian Pillman took on Jody Fleisch in what was expected to be a one sided
contest what with Pillmans ruthless streak reaching unhealthy levels in recent
times. Right from the off set, he was so agressive that Fleisch never really
looked in it. Frequently Pillman would choke Fleisch out on the ropes or be
ramming his head against something. Naturally Pillman took it to the outside
and used the guardrail to his advantage as well. Luckily for Fleisch he was
able to steer well clear of where Pillman had kept that glue gun but things
were looking dire and after meeting the ringpost, he was bleeding from the
head.

Pillman was like a shark to the wound and continued to attack as they moved
back to the ring, where he had Fleisch bent backwards over the ring apron in a
totally unnatural position. Finally Pillman got so carried away that he went
to the outside to fetch a steel chair. The ref managed to get him to drop it
as he climbed into the ring, and this allowed Fleisch to mount his best period
of offence as despite his state, he used his speed to keep Pillman at bay.
Finally he used the chair to spring onto Pillman in the corner, but Pillman
caught him and dropped Jody face first onto the turnbuckles.

With that, he hit the DDT and for all intents and purposes it was over. Not for
Brian Pillman though, as he pulled Jody up on the two count. When the ref
questioned this, Pillman shoved him aside and then DDT'd Jody onto the steel
chair for just about the most blatant disqualification you could get. Pillman
didn't care and the sick look on his face at the bell spoke volumes - he just
plain didn't care.

Jody Fleisch defeated Brian Pillman by disqualification in 0:09:04.
Rating: *** 1/2

As Pillman gets disqualified for blatant use of a steel chair, he throws the
referee out of the ring and heads to the outside himself to pick up the glue
gun he had left at ringside, which is obviously fully charged and heated by now.
Walking slowly to the ring with a purpose with it in hand, he then begins to
stomp Jody down some more and signals he's going to use the glue gun on his
back. With Jody out, Pillman teases a bit and then actually begins to go to
work, with Jody, now coming round, screaming in pain.

Quickly, officials are in to bustle Pillman out of the way, but the damage has
been done. It looks like Pillman was going to try to write something on Jody's
back but luckily he never got to complete that. Still, Pillmans violent streak
is getting beyond a joke. As Pillman leaves, he mouths something concerning
Sean O'Haire to the camera as we go backstage to see Matt Hardy watching on
gleefully.

Hardy: "YES! Jody Fleisch has just taken the beating of his life... that is
until I finish him once and for all at Wrestlefest. How's it going Larry?"

Larry: "I've been the next caller for a half hour. These dimwits have kept me
on hold all evening. John Cena's going to pay for this, I'm going to make sure
of that."

Coach: "I hate John Cena too Larry, I hate the way he's evil and makes fun of
us."

Larry: "Yeah."

Coach: "And I hate the way he used to rap."

Larry: "Well, yeah, I hate that too."

Coach: "I can rap better than that poo poo head. Listen..."

Hardy: "Coach, I'd rather you..."

Coach: "Yo yo yo, my name is Coach, I'm so tough that I'm no slowcoach. I'm so
tough and I'm so mean, I got Larry and, uhhhh... I hate John Cen'. Smack my
bitch up."

Hardy: "Excuse me?"

Coach: "That's what I hear all the rappers say."

Hardy: "You have to be the whitest black person I've ever known. Please stop
this travesty, and bask in the glory of what I've perpetrated on Jody Fleisch,
eat some food and watch the rest of the show already, do something other than
bugging me."

We return to the ring where Chavo Classic has entered. He grabs a mic.

Chavo: "I know what you all think. Because Pitbull is an ECW guy, he can out
hardcore me. But let me tell you something, there is nobody, NOBODY, more
hardcore than me - CHAVO! I ended the career of Rob Van Dam and tonight, I might
just end the career of the sole remaining Pitbull in the most devastating match
in all of wrestling - the table match. Long live the Guerrero family, long
live Chavo!"

With that said, an angry Pitbull #2 makes his entrance to get this one
underway.

Tables match: Pitbull #2 vs Chavo Classic

Chavo Classic seemed out of his depth facing Pitbull #2 in a table match and
it clearly showed as the rules allowed the Pitbull to do what he wanted, how he
wanted. We learnt early on that the rest of the Guerrero clan had been barred
from ringside by DWF officials and we seemed set to have a fair match. The
Pitbull dominated much of the proceedings, though Chavo did at least have his
moments. Still, for all the Pitbulls offence, he never did quite get Chavo in
position to put him through a table.

Finally a wayward spear from the Pitbull missed its intended target and took
out the referee. Chavo quickly pounced and got his licks in but the Pitbull
was quickly back in control and after a big powerslam, signalled for the finish.
Placing Chavo on a table, he began heading up the ropes, only to be shoved off
from behind by Jose Estrada. As Chavo rolled off to safety, Andrew Martin was
in the ring as well, picking the Pitbull up and pounding on him before hitting
a big pumphandle slam through a table. As the ref recovered, he saw the Pitbull
had been put through a table and with Chavo lying about what had happened and
taking credit, he was awarded the match in the cheapest of fashions.

Table No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:
Chavo Classic defeated Pitbull #2 by putting him through a table in 0:11:33.
Rating: ** 3/4

With Chavo making a quick exit, an angry Andrew Martin grabs a mic.

Martin: "Didn't you listen to what I had to say? Gimmick matches are dangerous
and ending careers. You could have ended the career of a fine man in Chavo
Classic and you just didn't care did you, Pitbull? Did you bother coming to me
to get these tables checked out? These are one sixteenth of a shaku too thick
these tables, somebody could have seriously injured their back or their neck.
The only person who deserves to be seriously hurt is you, you unsafe bastard."

Martin throws the mic down and storms out as we head backstage to Michael Cole.

Cole: "Jerry Lynn, coming up soon, your big title defense against the number
one contender, Kurt Angle. A man who has his sights set on finally becoming the
DWF heavyweight champion of the world."

Lynn: "Let me start by stating that Kurt Angle, as much as he desires and
clamours for it, is not the number one contender, Raven is. Angle is merely the
man who steps forth in an effort to be the man who Raven challenges. But it is
sad for him that he should step forth at this time. Kurt Angle is at his
pinnacle in the DWF by receiving this title shot and under normal circumstances
I would step back and allow him to challenge me as best he can. At this time
however, normality cannot be allowed to take place. What me and Raven have
formed to create is an even greater pinnacle that the aforementioned. What we
have in store for Wrestlefest is too monumental for somebody like you Kurt
Angle to step up and destroy what we have created. Your rhetoric doesn't fit
into what we've set out to accomplish, the negativity you feed us and the bile
of hate towards people all around the world.

What you fail to realise Angle is that these are my people now, not yours, nor
shall they ever be. Your day Angle, it may come, it may never come. If it is
truly your destiny to one day be the man who truly stands supreme over all that
have come before him, now is not the time, but your day of reckoning Angle.
You've dared to step up to the plate and attempt to be the man who dethrones
me, but now is not the time Angle, now is not your time. Your destiny may come
another day, but for now, as the cynosure of the wrestling world stands here
before you, I shall deny your chance... for another day."

We switch to see Matt Hardy, still at the buffet with his bodyguards, and Larry
is still hanging about too.

Larry: "Right, that's it, my batteries are dying, I'm going to go recharge and
when I finally get through, these dimwits will get what for and I'm gonna give
Cena what for too."

Coach: "YEAH!"

Larry leaves, just as the celebrating Guerreros pile in.

Eddie: "Chavo, you kicked ass out there, and you destroyed him, papa Gori would
be so proud."

Chavo: "Papa Gori would be proud of ALL of us... except my no good son Chavito
Jr."

Eddie: "Well let's not dwell on him homs, let's celebrate our victory."

The Guerreros all tuck in to the buffet, except Mando who can be seen stealing
Heidenreichs phone.

Chavo: "You know homies, I may have ended Pitbulls career single handidly today
just like I ended that little mamacita Rob Van Dams career, and the next thing
I'm going to..."

Edge and Christian have overheard all this and wandered on.

Edge: "Dude, that is so totally not cool."

Christian: "Yeah, they're dissing our main dealer."

Edge: "We so, like, totally kick their asses."

With that, Edge and Christian charge in and the fight is on, and inevitably
the buffet get knocked over and they make one big mess. Hardy turns to his
bodyguards.

Hardy: "Well that's that over with. Come on guys, our flight leaves in two
hours."

Hardy and co. leave the scene whilst officials try to break things up between
the Guerrero and Edge & Christian as we head back to the ring.

Raven, Dynamite Kid & "The Rock" Brad Armstrong vs Don Muraco, Alex Wright & Ulf Herman

The big six man tag saw a lot of animosity involved, and Don Muraco in
particular had that extra determination following his dropping of the world
title last month. He particularly focused his efforts early in the contents on
Dynamite Kid who was trapped in the wrong corner for a long period. All three
men on Muracos team did a great job of slowly wearing Dynamite down, but it
wasn't until he slid of an attempted running powerslam from Ulf Herman that
the tide turned. Dynamite hit him with a big clothesline and both men were down.

The hot tag followed to Raven who quickly exerted himself, taking it to Ulf
Herman and looked like he might even have the victory after a bulldog only for
Muraco and Wright to spill in and the pier-six brawl broke out. Muraco and
Raven paired off and after Raven had initially had the better of that brawl,
Muraco hurled him from the ring. Brad Armstrong meanwhile had dispatched of
one of his biggest rivals, Alex Wright and suddenly we had a very interesting
showdown as "The Rock" and Muraco squared off. Muraco charged in, but Brad
ducked under and hit Muraco with a series of Rock-style slaps that had him
reeling. Wright and Herman came back in and things quickly broke down again.

Quickly the tide changed, leaving Raven and Herman, the two legal men, in the
ring with Alex Wright on the apron. When Ulf missed a charge, he collided with
Wright on the apron. Dazed, Ulf staggered around into Ravens clutches and the
Evenflow duly finished things to hand Raven and his team the victory. On the
outside meanwhile, Alex Wright was bailing away from Brad Armstrong with his
title in tow, and Don Muracos team on this night had well and truly been
defeated.

Brad Armstrong, Dynamite Kid and Raven defeated
Alex Wright, Ulf Herman and Don Muraco when Raven pinned Herman with the
Evenflow in 0:20:13.
Rating: **** 1/2

As Raven and his team head off, each celebrating in their own respective way,
in the ring there appears to be a lot of anger and frustration. As Ulf Herman
gets to one knee, he is being fiercely berated by both Muraco and Wright. Ulf
seems quite frustrated by it, but is soon left as Muraco, Wright and Jeff Hardy
all leave him by himself in the ring, storming off to the back.

We head backstage to Michael Cole.

Cole: "Kurt Angle, the biggest match of your life takes place right now as you
are set to challenge Jerry Lynn for the worlds heavyweight title, and victory
would grant you a spot in the main event for Wrestlefest VIII..."

Angle: "Let me stop you there - don't even think about putting an element of
doubt into your voice. Victory WILL grant me a main event match at Wrestlefest
because I WILL win. Losing is just not an option this time Michael Cole. For
every American child who looks up at me and believes in me, for everyone who
waves the red, white and blue proudly and salutes what I've done for this great
country, for all the hard working Americans from the blue collar nine to fivers
to the suits in the big office, this one is for you. This is for America and
its great people. This one is NOT for every sleazy immigrant who walks into
the United States and steals a hard working Americans job, this is not for
some moron in a foreign country who dresses like an idiot and eats crap that I
wouldn't touch. For all those people, all you illegal aliens and sleazebags
who dare salute another flag, you can shove it up your asses, because you're
all a bunch of scum sucking jackasses who don't know a damn thing. No Michael
Cole, this is for America. The only American that this isn't for is Jerry Lynn,
whose ridiculous non ultra-pro American rhetoric is sickening. Jerry Lynn thinks
he's some sort of overlord of the DWF - well that's bullcrap Michael Cole. He
is nothing more than a big jerk who jumped me from behind several times and
has been ducking me for years. He's the jerk who screwed over another great
American, Don Muraco, at Last Man Standing, and had to use a freaking manager
as a weapon to get the title. Well there are no managers hanging around this
time, and don't even think of using the timekeeper to stop me, oh no. This is
my time now Jerry Lynn, there's no going back and there's no losing this one.
I will become the world champion tonight, for America and it's people, because
you know something Jerry Lynn - I HAVE TO! It just has to happen, for
everybodies sake. It has to, and that's damn true."

Angle strides off confidently as we hit the ring one last time.

Jerry Lynn (c) vs Kurt Angle (world heavyweight title)

Kurt Angle went into his big title match as the underdog to the ever popular
Jerry Lynn, but right away you could tell that he was going to put in a
performance that would be special, such was his determination. Right away he
seemed to have a counter hold for everything, and anybody else would have
fallen to Angle on this night pretty quickly. Since we're talking about Jerry
Lynn, however, things weren't quite that simple and what followed was quite
the match.

Angle started slightly stronger and seemed content to work over the left leg
of Lynn, perhaps softening him up for the ankle lock, but despite several
efforts to slap that hold on, Lynn was always a shade too quick to allow Angle
to slap the hold on. Lynn was always tough enough to keep up with Angle and
it soon became a war of attrition between the two with neither man gaining the
edge.

Angles well thought out gameplan though was beginning to take its toll on Lynn
and even when Lynn was in position to hit the Cradle Piledriver, he'd had a lot
taken out of him. So much so that Angle was able to roll through the move and
slap on the ankle lock in a breathtaking counter. Lynn was in pretty dire
straits but has never been the sort to give up and despite looking tempted, he
was able to reach the ropes to save himself.

Angle was frustrated but still sensed victory and much like he did against
Rhyno at last months PPV, was poised to hit Lynn with the Olympic Slam as Lynn
limped back to his feet. Lynn was prepared for it though and landed on his feet
before shoving Kurt sternum first into the turnbuckle. A winded Angle was then
easy picking for Lynn to get the Cradle Piledriver for real and after a very
hard fought match, the victory was secure, and the main event of Wrestlefest
against his closest ally, Raven, is on the cards.

Jerry Lynn pinned Kurt Angle with the Cradle Piledriver in 0:21:24.
Rating: **** 3/4
(Jerry Lynn retained the Heavyweight Title.)
SolomattGrundyPosted on 06/25/08 at 22:48:04

Matt's Ground Zero Random Thoughts and Other Nonsense.

Jericho wins, despite the attempted debauchery on behalf of that dastardly Mando Guerrero. Solid opening attraction.

Matt Hardy brings the goods as usual.

Silly Rockabilly, trying to pussy his way out of a match with a dance off. The Rock lays the Smackdown and does it rather quickly. I approve.

Wow, double countout, brought on by both teams bickering. And, we have a double split. Wacky!

Really fun stuff between Matt Hardy, the two greatest announcers in the history of wrestsling, and the Young Lions. Top notch stuff, I mean what more can you really want.

O'Haire might be good, but a good tag team will be a good singles wrestler any day of the week. At least they should and now the Syndicate is in the running for a tag team title shot.

Pretty Perfect retained the titles, fantastic little encounter against Kidman and Corino. Corino looks more concerned with his Television Title, as the tension continues.

Devon Storm won! I was convinced we would see another no-decision here for some reason. Still, Storm gets the win, goes onto wrestle Jeff Hardy, which for some reason, I'm seeing Hardy just barely squeeze out the victory there.

Another really fun backstage segment. The fact that Paul Roma and the Mean Street Posse have continued employment in DWF both amuses and horrifies me at the same time. and I look forward to seeing Storm squash Roma quickly.

Yes, called this I believe, Pillman snapping and getting himself disqualified. A glue gun? Man that's just fucked up. Fleisch looks to be really bad shape going into Wrestlefest.

Chavo Classic managed to just barely squeeze out a wind over Pitbull #2, thanks to Andrew Martin and his Mexican man servant. And I can't believe it, but you've actually made me care about Test. That's rather scary.

Awesome six man tag team match. Herman obviously eats the pin, it did seem like he was just in that match to do the job to the faces.

And solid end to the show, with Lynn retaining the belt in an almost perfect main event. Still, top of the notch calibre, really worthy of a DWF main event.

Thumbs way up for the show.
Snabbit888Posted on 06/26/08 at 00:43:42

Jericho wins, as well he should.  Fancy little opener.

Matt Hardy is evil.  You've hinted at it for a long long time, so I wonder when you'll pull the trigger on Shane McMahon eliminating Hardy as commish.

Rockabilly trying to make it a dance-off is delightfully awesome.  I still can't believe how well you've done at making Brad Armstrong a fantastic character.  And The Rock obviously dominates this one.

Not sure about the double split of LaFon/Furnas & RnR.  The only one who really has potential to break out as a singles star I'd say is Furnas (based on his TV Title reign).  My prediction is maybe a team swap as that'd be interesting.  Gibson/Furnas and LaFon/Morton?

Larry Z was amazingly awesome throughout this entire show, for the record.

As Harms said, great tag team will beat a great singles wrestler every time.  Pretty Perfect vs. The Syndicate will be awesome, and O'Haire didn't need to win for his match with Pillman to be awesome.

The slow build between Corino & Kidman has been awesome.  I don't know if you'll have time to pull the trigger on setting up a TV Title match for Wrestlefest.

Devon Storm beats Juvi.  Neat.

I want to be involved in the Paul Roma Pussy Challenge. :(

Pillman is sick.  I expected a little more from Fleisch there, but you have effectively made Pillman look crazy as hell.  I don't like O'Haire's chances at WF.

Test says safety first!  Wow... a lesser Guerrero gets a PPV win.

Dissention seems to be the theme in DWF these days.  A lot of teams are not on the same page, including Ulf getting blamed for all of the problems with Muraco & Wright.  Poor Ulf. :(

Though it was a great match, no doubt Jerry Lynn was retaining the title.  But will he retain at Wrestlefest!?  DUH DUH DUUUUUUUUH!