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| JeepGuy | Posted on 01/27/08 at 10:13:29 and the Oxygen Network (OH!) presents: Crash! TV: Opening Night January 5th, 2008  Your host: Matt Vasgersian * Inside a television studio with a small but lively audience, Vasgersian welcomed everyone to the first episode of Oxygen's new show after a hearty Happy New Year. He said with only thirty minutes to work with, things would be fast paced and furious. With that, he introduced his broadcast partner Gordon Solie (who is dead by the way) whose face popped up which looked like old videotape. Solie said hello before disappearing. Vasgersian then sent it backstage to Lacey Von Erich. The very blond and stunning Von Erich was standing with Ray Gordy, neither person looked too happy. Lacey rolled her eyes as she turned her attention to Gordy. Gordy yelled out that he'd be damned if he talked to a Von Erich before storming off. Von Erich shouted out after him that her father beat up his father. It went back to a surprised Vasgersian who hoped that April Hunter had something better for them. "Big Red" was bent over revealing her impressive cleavage that would make any man happy as she fiddled with her too high heels. Obviously too small for her feet, she kicked them aside and stormed off, wondering loudly how women could wear shoes like those. Shrugging, Vasgersian sent it to the ring. Two Matts (Matt Cross and Matt Striker) defeated Team Macktion (Kirby Mack and TJ Mack) when Striker pinned TJ Mack with the Golden Rule in 0:11:44. Rating: *** * Commercial Break - Oxygen ... entertainment for women ... and the men who love them! Watch the Bad Girls Club, Roseanne and The Tyra Banks Show. * Back from the commercial, hardcore wrestler Madman Pondo in his usual t-shirt, jeans and a beanie, was sharing the split screen with Gordon Solie. Solie told Pondo that Ron Slinker had said that he did his talking inside the ring and wanted to know what Pondo thought about that? Pondo shrugged and said that he was more than happy to come and do the interview inside the ring but was told to wait where he was. Was he in the wrong place? Solie starred blankly back as if waiting for an answer. Looking confused, Pondo had no answer for Solie when asked what was with his ridiculous outfit. * Lacey was backstage with the victorious Two Matts. Striker said they were glad to pick up the win but more importantly, he was the one that got the pin, jabbing Cross in the ribs with his elbow. Cross said that was true but HE had been the one to spend more time inside the ring during the match, softening up both Macks, allowing Striker to get the pin. The two started arguing, which prompted Lacey to walk away. Ray Gordy pinned Madman Pondo with the Exploder Suplex in 0:08:32. Rating: ** 3/4 * Pondo came out to the ring dragging a garbage can filled with his favorite weapons but was met halfway by Don Callis. Callis tugged the can away, saying the Network wouldn't allow it. After a heated debate, Pondo turned it over to Callis. Without his weapons, Pondo was like a fish out of water, giving Gordy a huge advantage.Even without his gear, Pondo tried to get his hands on the ring bell and set up a table outside the ring but was stopped at every turn by Callis. In the end, Pondo was outmatched. Card rating: ** 3/4 Show time: 30 minutes |
| Jake | Posted on 01/27/08 at 10:53:10 This is AWEsome! *clap clap clapclapclap* This is AWEsome! *clap clap clapclapclap* This is AWEsome! *clap clap clapclapclap* |
| Hello Mamushi | Posted on 01/27/08 at 19:07:28 Dude? One word. Sweet. *Can't wait until Madman Pondo is a guest on Sue Johanson's show* :) Can't wait to see more. |
| JeepGuy | Posted on 01/29/08 at 08:10:41 and the Oxygen Network (OH!) presents: Crash! TV January 12th, 2008 Your host: Matt Vasgersian * The camera opened with a super close-up of a face as seen in the Blair Witch Project. A few seconds later, the face yeleds for the camera to pull back already. As it did, Justin Credible was revealed but instead of his usual t-shirt and jeans with black boots, he was in the standard wrestling gear of white shorts, with matching kneepads and boots. He said that as Aldo Montoya, Justin Credible and a member of the Kliq, he'd gotten nowhere ... sure he'd won a title or two but when the day was done, he was nothing more than a joke. Well ... the joke was over ... Justin Credible was dead and his past was just that, it was time for Peter Polaco to shine. Turning to walk off, a dark stain on the back of his shorts was visible and the camera man said, "Dude, you sat on something". * "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence played to a video package of wrestling highlights and moves before moving to the studio desk of Matt Vasgersian. Matty V welcomed the fans and his broadcast partner Gordon Solie, on the video screen. After saluting the fans, Solie could be heard muttering the word "suplay" very softly over and over. Out walked Don Callis to a lukewarm reception, bringing Vasgersian to ask what he wanted. Respect was quickly replied. Callis said this wasn't some gimmick as it was in the past, no angle in the making, he was the real deal and as a representative of the Network, he was here to get things done. His first order of business was Madman Pondo. Pondo was led out from the back by referees Mike Kehner and HC Loc. Callis told him no more hardcore matches, no more blood and under no circumstances would there be any weapons because the Network just wouldn't allow it. In order for Pondo to remain in AWE, he had to change and to help him, he needed a friend. Out from the back came singer, actress and former international porn star, Bridget the Midget. In what could only be a scene out of an Oxygen Network movie, the big man swept up the tiny midget in his arms in an embrace. With the two spinning in circles, it was Solie's "For the love of ..." that took us to the ring and our first match. CG Afi pinned Peter Polaco after a roll away in 0:14:28. Rating: ** 1/2 (USApe no-showed.) * Commercial Break - Oxygen ... entertainment for women ... and the men who love them! Watch Girls Behaving Bady, Ellen and Xena, Warrior Princess. * April Hunter was flanked by The Two Matts. In her heels and with her hair piled high on her head, Big Red looked bigger than both Matts. Cross said that both Matts had double T's in their names but he was better because he had double S's and Striker didn't. Cross said all Striker had was a little s and made a gesture with his pinky to show how small it was. A laughing Cross ran off as Striker gave chase. Shaking her head, Hunter was surprised to find wrestling veteran Hacksaw Jim Duggan standing next to her, holding his 2x4. After yelling out "HOOOOOOO!", he walked off. An angry Hunter yelled back she was not ... okay, maybe in her younger days. * Lacey was ringside with Matt Vasgersian and the lovable Gordon Solie from his screen when out bounced PN News dressed like Rerun, complete with red beret and matching suspenders. After a WHAT'S HAPPENING!! for the fans, he joined the three. Solie wanted to know what kind of get-up he was wearing but was ignored when Lacey wished him luck in beating "No Good" Ray Gordy. Gordy came out from the back to a small cheer and stood in front of Von Erich, shaking his head. She said there was a 10 spot in it for News if he wiped the smirk off Gordy's face. Vasgersian defused things and sent the action to the ring. Ray Gordy made PN News submit to a double reverse chinlock in 0:06:07. Rating: 1/4* * Just as last week, it was almost all Gordy. Sure, he had some trouble with the 400 pound man but once he put him on the mat, it was all over. Ray Gordy could only smile as an angry Lacey stomped her foot as the show went off the air. Card rating: 1/2* Show time: 30 minutes Match observations: * USApe, the original opponent in the first match against Peter Polaco, the former Justin Credible, was a no show. CG Afi, the former Tony Marinara, stepped in against Peter Polaco, the still former Justin Credible. Polaco, the former Justin Credible was also known at one time as Aldo Montoya while CG Afi was Tony Mamaluke, not to be confused with Tony Marinara. * It was a complete and utter mystery as to why and how Jim Duggan got onto the show. * It could not be confirmed if April Hunter was a ho at any time in her past or present. |
| Memphis Vice | Posted on 01/31/08 at 09:10:34 I'm hooked. Good stuff. |
| JeepGuy | Posted on 02/01/08 at 07:08:26 and the Oxygen Network (OH!) presents: Crash! TV January 19th, 2008 Your host: Gordon Solie * The Two Matts were standing somewhere in the back. Striker bragged that he took care of USApe last week, telling Cross to top that. Cross waved him off and said already taken care of PLUS he still had two T's and S's in his name before he ran off, leaving a fuming Striker. * "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence played to a video package of wrestling highlights and moves before moving to the studio desk of Matt Vasgersian, only there was no Matty V, instead just the taped face of Gordon Solie. He welcomed everyone to the program. They had alot to get to today and kicked it off to his first guest, Madman Pondo and Bridgit who joined him via split screen. Pondo wasn't in his usual gear, trading it in for a surfer's springsuit and a large "Hang Ten" t-shirt over it. The tight suit was obviously uncomfortable as he picked a wedgie. Solie said Ron Slinker and Pondo replied, who? Each of the five times Solie repeated Slinker's name, Pondo looked confused and shrugged. Having had enough, Bridgit smacked Pondo and told him to get ready for his match. Pondo gave a "Hook'em Horns" sign as Solie sent it to the ring. Matt Cross and PN News battled to a draw in 0:15:00. Rating: 1/2* * Cross was on the offensive much of the match but the much larger News held his own getting the time limit draw. Striker seemed delighted with the draw while News danced after tossing his red beret into the crowd. * Commercial Break - Oxygen ... entertainment for women ... and the men who love them! Watch Snapped, Bad Girls Club and the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. * Lacey had a huge grin on her face, standing next to Ray Gordy, leaning his weight on a pair of crutches. Startled, she jumped as Jim Duggan marched through and yelled out his famous, "HOOOOOOO!". His big smile disappeared when Lacey slapped his face, saying she was not. A laughing Gordy, said he got that right, bringing another slap, this time for him. Both men laughed as she stormed off. * April was in the back with the ODB, Jessica Dalton. Dalton was mad that she had been here for three weeks already and not a single match. Why wasn't she getting to show her stuff in the ring. Don Callis joined them, ready to defuse the situation. He calmly explained that he understood her frustration but the Network had reservations and would in no way tolerate man on woman violence but trying to make everyone happy, he had a solution and she would indeed have a match next week. That's when CG Afi strolled in. Jabbing a finger into Dalton's chest, he said that anytime she wanted a real match, she knew where to find him. Both April and Callis held back Dalton as Afi turned to leave. Standing there in the way was an angry Peter Polaco. Polaco told Afi not to fill out his dance card just yet because the two of them had some unfinished business. They stared down until Callis came in to break them up. The camera followed Polaco as he walked off with a dark stain very visible on the back of his white trunks. Madman Pondo pinned Peter Polaco after a short lariat in 0:05:38. Rating: ** * The confining outfit as well as the lack of hardcore rules and weapons really put Pondo at a disadvantage while Polaco looked perfectly comfortable going the technical route. Ringside, Bridgit covered her eyes several times as Polaco tried to finish off his opponent. CG Afi came ringside as well and while warned off from interferring in the match, he was enough of a distraction, drawing Polaco's attention. Polaco never saw the hammering lariat as he returned to the match. With the win, Pondo jumped around as if he just won the lottery while Polaco glared at Afi. * The camera left the ring for the back where it found Kirby and T.J. Mack walking off. The Macks were stopped by Don Callis. He looked unhappy as he told them he had some bad news as the show went off the air. Card rating: * 3/4 Show time: 30 minutes Match observations: * Ray Gordy's injure was legit and not a work. He sustained it in his match against PN News. Doctors advised him to stay off the leg for a few days. * Matt Vasgersian was not at the television taping. No reasons were given for him being MIA though when asked, Gordon Solie had only one thing to say ... Kevin Sullivan. |
| King_Of_Old_School | Posted on 02/01/08 at 19:24:46 Really enjoying this...interesting mix of characters. Keep up the good work! |
| JeepGuy | Posted on 02/02/08 at 06:27:46 and the Oxygen Network (OH!) presents: Crash! TV January 26th, 2008 Your host: Matt Vasgersian * The camera opened with a close-up of the Men's room door. After pulling back, the door opened and out walked April Hunter. After looking both left and right, she "adjusted" herself before she walked away. As the camera zoomed back in on the door, the click-clacking of her impossibly high heels echoed down the hallway. * "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence played to a video package of wrestling highlights and moves before moving to Matt Vasgersian behind his studio desk. He welcomed everyone to the program before he was joined by his cohost Gordon Solie on his monitor. Matty V said he was glad to see that things ran smoothly with Solie in charge last week. Solie told him to wait just a second and that his tactics left alot to be desired. Vasgersian looked confused but dropped it as The Two Matts came out. Striker had an announcement and said that his name was now and forever more changed to Strikker ... that's with two K's. He looked smug as he elbowed his tag partner in the ribs. Matt Cross said there were rumors that today was the last match for Team Macktion before Strikker jumped in, and said they were being run out of AWE and it was all because of The Two Matts. Don Callis came out from the back waving his arms. He wanted to set the record straight. This was a decision made by the Network and had nothing to do with the The Two Matts or any other wrestlers on the program. He felt bad about the decision and did everything in his power to fight for Team Macktion and because of that, he was giving them and the fans a going away present, a rematch against The Two Matts. Kirby and TJ Mack came out from the back to a cheer from the fans. Kirby said he didn't understand why they were being forced out but that was business. He did want to know one thing ... was it them being let go or was it the fact that two wrestlers had to go. Callis said he couldn't go into much detail about it but he had to make some concessions which meant two wrestlers had to leave and unfortunately, their number came up. Kirby seemed happy about the explanation and waved the booing fans to silence, as he said, if that was the case and they were getting a rematch, why not make it a Loser Leaves Town Match? Callis agreed which brought the cheers back and had The Two Matts arguing over the decision. Gordon Solie said that was the true sign of a champion and sent it to the ring. "ODB" Jessica Dalton defeated J.J. Cruz by disqualification in 0:06:31. Rating: -1/4* [CG Afi and Peter Polaco interfered against Jessica Dalton.] * Dalton's opponent was a small man making his professional debut. The match started off quickly but Cruz did his best to slow things down while being very deliberate in his move selection. Just minutes into the match both CG Afi and Peter Polaco came to the ring and had words before it turned to fisticuffs. Their fight carried into the ring where they accidentally knocked down Dalton bringing referee Mike Kehner to call for the bell. As both men carried their fight back to the outside, The ODB took them both out with a baseball slide. * Commercial Break - Oxygen ... entertainment for women ... and the men who love them! Watch The Movie Lounge: Husband for Hire. * Lacey was joined by Madman Pondo who was carrying Bridgit. A very excited Pondo couldn't believe he was able to pull off the win last week but with Bridgit in his corner he did it. Lacey asked what was next? He thought it over for a second while he picked a wedgie. Pondo said without his weapons, he had to actually learn some wrestling moves ... and that was tough but with Bridgit by his side ... that's when Jim Duggan marched in and shouted out you know what. As Lacey rolled her eyes and marched off, Pondo said that wasn't very nice and besides, Bridgit wasn't doing that anymore. Pondo's eyes got real big when he noticed the piece of lumber Duggan was carrying. He said that was some nice wood and reached out to touch it. Duggan was about to hand it over but quickly pulled it back when Bridgit smacked Pondo in the head before telling him no weapons. Pondo made a peace sign before walking off. [Loser Leaves Town Match] Two Matts (Matt Cross and Matt Strikker) defeated Team Macktion (Kirby Mack and TJ Mack) when Matt Cross pinned TJ Mack with the Death From Above in 0:14:06. Rating: ** 1/2 [Team Macktion must leave town.] * It was a pretty good match between the two teams who were both fighting to keep their jobs that could have gone either way. In the end, the strong double teaming of The Two Matts proved to be just too much. The Two Matts celebrated their victory outside of the ring to the heavy booing but hightailed it for the back after Kirby and TJ flattened both of them with topes. Team Macktion celebrated with the fans. * The camera left the ring for the back where it found Don Callis and a young man holding some pizzas.The delivery driver said he'd get the rest of them out of his car once he got paid the $250 he was owed. A flabbergasted Callis was quick to deny ordering any pizzas as the show went off the air. Card rating: ** Show time: 30 minutes Match observations: * Ray Gordy was absent from the television taping because of his injury. He will most likely be out another 2 to 3 weeks. * Needless to say, Lacey Von Erich was a very happy camper * J.J. Cruz trained at the ECWA Training Facility. |
| JeepGuy | Posted on 02/05/08 at 07:58:24 and the Oxygen Network (OH!) presents: Crash! TV February 2nd, 2008 Your host: Matt Vasgersian * The Two Matts were somewhere backstage laughing as Strikker ... that's with 2 K's, told Cross he wished he was there to see Don Callis' face when the delivery guy asked to be paid for all the pizzas he didn't order. Cross stopped laughing as Callis stepped in behind Strikker and listened intently, an angry look on his face. Strikker said that would be a hard one to top. Callis agreed that would be hard to top but he himself was going to try. While Cross probably didn't have anything to do with it, his punishment was certainly going to be lighter ... after the match he had two weeks ago against PN News, Cross would get another chance at News but to make it just a little more challenging, News was going to have a little help as Madman Pondo made it a Handicap Match. Strikker stopped laughing when Callis said that next week, Strikker would receive his punishment. Strikker gulped hard when told it would also be a Handicap Match but against three men. Callis walked off with a smile as he told The Two Matts to top that. * "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence played to a video package of wrestling highlights and moves before moving to Matt Vasgersian behind his studio desk. Matty V welcomed the fans as well as his broadcast partner, Gordon Solie. He asked Solie what he thought of the Handicap Match coming up later in the program. Solie said no matter what the numbers, the Handicap Match was one of the toughest in the business and should make for a very good match. They were then joined by Jason Knight, a man Solie said needed no introduction. When asked by Matty V why he was there, Knight said it was to help his old friend Justin Credible or Peter Polaco as he was calling himself now, win a championship. With that, Gordon Solie took it to the ring. J.J. Cruz defeated Jessica Dalton by disqualification in 0:05:03. Rating: -3/4* [Peter Polaco interfered against J.J. Cruz.] * Just like last week, it was Dalton who came out like gangbusters with something to prove. For his part, Cruz took his time and was getting the upperhand when they were again joined ringside by first, CG Afi followed by Peter Polaco. Thanks to Afi, Polaco inadvertantly knocked Cruz off the top turnbuckle into Dalton, bringing referee HC Loc to call for the bell and the end of the match. Angered by the ending, Dalton used the ropes to springboard to the outside and flatten Polaco. Afi used the time to pull the dazed ODB to her feet and give her a piece of his mind. That didn't last too long as "The Patriotic Primate" USApe came flying out of the back and hammered Afi. With Afi dragged into the ring, Loc called for the bell and the start of a new match. CG Afi pinned USApe after a moonsault in 0:04:53. Rating: *** * Fast and furious, man and ape beat on the other with the referee stepping out of the way and keeping his distance. In a short but exciting match, Afi took the pinfall. * Commercial Break - Oxygen ... entertainment for women ... and the men who love them! Watch all the action inside the squared circle ... Alternative Wrestling Entertainment, every Saturday followed by an episode of Xena, Warrior Princess. * April Hunter and Ray Gordy backstage. April asked how he was doing to which Gordy replied two things were great. First, he'd be off the crutches soon and back in the ring doing what he did best, wrestle. When asked what the second thing was, Gordy smiled and stepped closer to April. He said it was refreshing to be interviewed by someone who was not only a true professional but beautiful as well ... way more than Lacey Von Erich. When April asked which, more professional or beautiful, Gordy answered yes. When Gordy said she was a special girl, April agreed ... she was a very special girl. Handicap-Match: Madman Pondo and PN News defeated Matt Cross when News pinned Cross after an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle at 0:11:18. Rating: * 1/4 * Cross put on an ariel clinic but that wasn't enough as eventually the two big men caught up with him. Pondo's big body slam and News' elbow drop off the middle ropes was the big ending as both big men piled on for the pin. After telling Matt Strikker that he was next, Pondo and News hoisted the small Bridgit on the their shoulders and celebrated their victory before the show went off the air. Card rating: * 3/4 Show time: 30 minutes Match observations: * Ray Gordy was telling everyone backstage that he'd be back on television for the February 16th show. There was no confirmation of a timetable for him to get back into the ring. * Needless to say, Lacey Von Erich was a very happy camper * CG Afi and the USApe continued their battle backstage and had to be pulled apart from one another. |
| baby penis | Posted on 02/06/08 at 04:43:02 I love this fed. ;D |
| JeepGuy | Posted on 02/06/08 at 05:07:35On 02/06/08 at 04:43:02, baby penis wrote:I love this fed. ;DI'm glad you like it. I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read (and leave comments), hoping you get as much of a chuckle reading it as I do writing it. Lots of big plans in store and a Valentine's Special on the horizon: Roses are Red, I Hate You! Stay tuned! |
| JeepGuy | Posted on 02/09/08 at 01:29:17 and the Oxygen Network (OH!) presents: Crash! TV February 9th, 2008 Your host: Matt Vasgersian * Taped from last week, CG Afi and USApe battled it out backstage. Wrestlers and televison crew tried to get out of the way as man and ape went at each other. * Backstage The Two Matts were face to face as an angry Strikker spoke through clenched teeth as he told his partner to come clean and tell Don Callis that it was Cross who played the prank by ordering the pizzas two weeks ago. Strikker said it was seriously funny as he turned into the face of Network Rep Don Callis. Callis grinned as he said he was there to anounce Strikker's match for the evening. Not only would Strikker be facing Madman Pondo and PN News but for his part in his little prank, he was getting a third opponent. That's when there was a very loud "HOOOOOOO!" as Jim Duggan stepped into view with a smile and a big thumb's up. * "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence played to a video package of wrestling highlights and moves before moving to Matt Vasgersian behind his studio desk. As usual, Matty V welcomed the fans as well as his broadcast partner, Gordon Solie. Solie saluted the cheering fans and said there was big news for next week's program that was sure to be exciting. Vasgersian agreed and said next week would be ninety minutes of show because they needed more time to squeeze in three times the action. Both Vasgersian and Solie jumped as Afi and USApe battled out from the back and fought their way to the ring. CG Afi pinned USApe after a low blow in 0:8:02. Rating: ** 1/4 * The pair fought tooth and nail with neither backing down. With the support of the fans, Ape started coming on after "Hulking Up" though he took a little too much time playing up to the fans which allowed Afi to sneak in a low blow not seen by the referee for the win. * With the ring cleared, Peter Polaco was out with Vasgersian and Solie. Polaco was questioned about his interference two weeks in a row in matches between J.J. Cruz and Jessica Dalton. Polaco apologized for both times saying he was shoved or hit by CG Afi that led to the interference. It wasn't his intention to interfere in either match. That's when Jason Knight came out carrying a Singapore cane and a bundle of clothing under his arm. He said it was great to see Justin ... Peter again and was there to convince him to "blow this popsicle stand" and move onto something bigger. He then handed over the cane and the bundle of clothing, Pete's old outfit of jean shorts and black t-shirt. He said to get out of those stained shorts and back into his old gear. Peter shook his head as he handed back the gear when Jessica Dalton stormed out from the back. She got right into his face and let him have a piece of her mind. He stepped back and again apologized to her and said he didn't want any trouble. She slapped him hard after asking him if he thought he was too good to take on a woman. Before he could answer, J.J. Cruz sauntered out from the back, his eyes covered by a pair of expensive Oakleys. Cruz had a few words for some fans before joining the rest. It was his turn to have a go at Polaco, jabbing a finger in his chest. He apologized to Cruz but got a slap from the rookie wrestler instead. Jason jumped in and said if they wanted trouble, they came to the right place because Justin ... Peter backed down from no one. He'd take them both on right here and now ... and if that wasn't enough for them, next week, the former World Champion would give each of them a personal beating in seperate matches! He rubbed Polaco's shoulders as the show went to commercial. * Commercial Break - Oxygen ... entertainment for women ... and the men who love them! Join Alternative Wrestling Entertainment for their ninety minute Valentine's Day extravaganza, Roses are Red, I Hate You!. Handicap-Match: J.J. Cruz and Jessica Dalton defeated Peter Polaco when ODB pinned Polaco with the Flying Thesz Press in 0:09:57. Rating: *** * Though he wanted no part of it, Polaco was pulled into a match against the pair. He did his best to try to calm both combatants but it only seemed to make things worse. Jason egging on both Cruz and Dalton didn't make things any better. With team work and a steady attack, they were too much for Polaco. * April Hunter and Lacey Von Erich were in Don Callis' small office. April asked when they were going to discuss title belts. Both she and Lacey said there were some grumblings backstage and the belts needed to be addressed. Callis said they were going to wait a few weeks to allow Ray Gordy to heal up. Lacey angrily said that Callis was showing favortism towards that bum Gordy. Callis said of course he was because that was what the Network wanted. He reminded her the show's demographic, woman between the ages of 21 to 45, liked Ray Gordy as evidenced by the spike in viewership during Gordy's matches and segments. It was what the Network wanted and it was what the Network was going to get. April said to forget the female demographics, she thought Gordy was cute, too. After April drew strange looks, Lacey stormed off. Handicap-Match: Jim Duggan, Madman Pondo and PN News defeated Matt Strikker when Duggan pinned Strikker with the Old Glory in 0:06:30. Rating: 1/4* * Strikker found himself in the same situation as Cross last week. Though he started off well enough, three men were just too much to overcome. Duggan took out Strikker for the victory and his tag partners piled on for good measure. Cross helped Strikker from the ring and to the back while inside the ring found Duggan in a tug of war with Pondo for his 2x4. After picking it up, Pondo didn't want to let go of it until Bridgit slapped him in the leg as the show went off the air. Card rating: * 1/4 Show time: 30 minutes Match observations: * Maybe there was something to what Callis said about Ray Gordy because without Gordy on the program, the show drew it's second lowest rating. * Needless to say, Lacey Von Erich was a not very happy camper * With the Valentine's show up next, there is sure to be a guest or two involved. |
| JeepGuy | Posted on 02/13/08 at 08:35:39 and the Oxygen Network (OH!) presents: Crash! TV: Roses Are Red, I Hate You! February 16th, 2008  Your host: Matt Vasgersian * The camera caught the heavily bundled Janice Dickinson walking backstage. As she rounded a corner, she was startled as the Patriotic Primate of Power, USApe jumped out at her. Her stern look melted into a smile as the Ape handed her a single rose. Taking it from him, she was suddenly grabbed and dipped backwards by the big monkey who planted a pair of hairy lips on hers. Her struggles ceased at the brute's lip lock. When finished with her, he uncermoniously dumped her on her keister and bounded off. With a gleam of lust in her eye, she exclaimed, Now, THAT'S a man!". * Backstage an angered Peter Polaco was stopped by a smiling Jason. After a big hug, Jason slapped Polaco on the shoulders and told him that after these two easy matches, they could move on to something bigger ... maybe a title run out of Connecticut? Throwing an arm around Polaco, Jason led him off down the hallway. * "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence played to a video package of wrestling highlights and moves before moving to Matt Vasgersian behind his Valentine's Day decorated studio desk. He welcomed the fans and his broadcast partner, Gordon Solie. Solie saluted the cheering fans and was about to say something but was stopped as the lovely Janice Dickinson walked out from the back After handing her coat and winter gear to Vasgersian, she said hello to all her fans. When asked why she was there, she said it was to see what all the talk was about for Oxygen's newest program. She admitted to having watched wrestling when she was a little girl but had been away from it for a long, long time. Interrupting the conversation, J.J. Cruz sauntered out from the back. He raised his Oakleys as he looked her up then down before telling everyone it was good to be main eventing the biggest AWE show yet. When Dickinson called him rude, he told her if he wanted to hear from the old bag, he would have told Solie to talk. A big slap to the face sent Cruz' glasses flying but before he could retaliate, Peter Polaco came running out from the back. Grabbing Cruz, Polaco laid into him before bringing it into the ring. J.J. Cruz defeated Peter Polaco by disqualification in 0:08:56. Rating: 1/2* [Jason interfered against J.J. Cruz.] * Polaco was on the offensive early and often, keeping Cruz off any kind of game plan. It looked like he had the opening match well in hand before Cruz made a comeback. With Polaco on the ropes and taking a beating, Jason looked to even the score with a chair. Despite missing Cruz with it, referee HC Loc had no choice but to give the match to the rookie. To make matters worse, while Jason missed Cruz with the chair, Polaco wasn't so lucky, taking a blow to the head. With the victory in hand, Cruz hightailed it out of there, stopping long enough to grab up his sunglasses. * After the match, the camera was backstage, following Madman Pondo in his surfing gear, as he snuck through the halls. At the slightest sound, he pressed himself against the wall, doing his best to blend in. Opening a door, he was startled to find Bridgit standing there, her arms crossed and an unhappy look on her face. He smiled and gave her a peace sign before the camera showed the name of Jim Duggan on the door's nameplate. * Commercial Break - Oxygen ... entertainment for women ... and the men who love them! Watch Girls Behaving Bady, Ellen and Xena, Warrior Princess. CG Afi defeated USApe when USApe passed out in a headscissors submission in 0:07:44. Rating: ** 1/2 * Just like last week, these two went at it like everything was on the line ... until USApe was caught. Even yelling for Afi to take his damn, dirty paws off of him didn't work, today it was Afi's match. USApe drifted off to bananacream pie land. * The camera swept through the fans, stopping on The Bad Girls Club cast before rejoining Vasgersian and Solie with the victorious CG Afi. Afi told Vasgersian to make the sure the cameras stayed on him rather than those reality show bimbos in the audience which brought a chorus of boos. Soile said Afi was stirring up a hornets' nest full of trouble when a chair came flying in their general direction. One of the girls obviously took exception before Vasgersian threw it to the back. * In the back, Lacey Von Erich was with Janice Dickinson and asked how this was different than her own show. Dickinson said it was quite similar as both shows had sweaty, often half naked men running around only the modelling world was a little more brutal as male and female models often were trying to scratch each others' eyes out. They were joined by Ray Gordy holding a box of roses. When he approached, an angry Lacey grabbed the box out of his hands and smacked him and the floor with it. Taking the flowers out, she knocked off all the petals then handed the naked stems back to him. She told him he must be kidding if he thought she'd EVER take flowers from the likes of him. He said the flowers weren't for her as he handed the stems to Dickinson. Two-out-of-three-Falls Match: Two Matts (Matt Cross and Matt Striker) beat PN News and Madman Pondo 2 falls to 0: x M. Cross beat News via a spinning heel kick in 0:12:14 x M. Cross beat Pondo via countout in 0:25:47 Rating: * 3/4 * Unlike the last two weeks where the Two Matts took a thumping from News and Pondo in handicap matches as punishment, today's outcome was a little different. Even with a good showing from their opponents, Matt Cross was too hot to handle which drew the ire of his partner. * Commercial Break - Oxygen ... entertainment for women ... and the men who love them! Watch The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. A montage of all the models follows. Ray Gordy pinned Jim Duggan with the Exploder Suplex in 0:14:37. Rating: -**** 1/4 * It was obvious Ray Gordy was not 100% for this one but he gave a valiant effort as he and Duggan took it nearly to the time limit. During the match Madman Pondo came out eyeing Duggan's wood before Bridgit grabbed him by the ear and led him away from the ring. * Moving to the back, April Hunter in a tight red dress and impossibly high heels was walking. Complaining about the heels, she stopped and adjusted the tall hair piled high on her head which had shifted off-center as she teetered on the shoes. Getting everything back in place, she continued on her journey, coming to a door. Straightening her dress out and checking the hair, she opened to door to find USApe reclining on a couch with his head in Janice Dickinson's lap where she fed him a banana. * A determined Peter Polaco stormed the ring, followed by Jason. With referee Mike Kehner checking Polaco's boots, Jason was behind him rubbing his shoulders which Peter quickly shrugged out of. Jessica Dalton defeated Peter Polaco by disqualification in 0:12:15. Rating: 3/4* [Jason interfered against Jessica Dalton.] * Two matches, two disqualifications for Peter Polaco. Despite having this one in hand for most of it, he couldn't put it away. His undoing came when he collided with Jason who was up on the ring apron to lend a helping hand. Dalton took over and took the match when Jason put Polaco's leg on the ring ropes after several warnings for interferring. * After the match, Jason tried to console the beaten Polaco but was pushed away. Trying to rub his shoulders didn't work either, again getting shoved back. When Polaco tried to leave, Jason got on the mic trying to find out what the problem was. Polaco was more than happy to tell him what the problem was ... Jason was the problem. He wasn't wanted here. Their time together was over, it was time to move on. All Jason had done was lost him matches and got him clobbered in the process. They were over ... finished. Obviously shocked by the revelation, Jason said if that was what Peter wanted, that was what he was going to get ... until he dropped him with a superkick to the chops. Standing over the stunned wrestler, Jason said that if he couldn't have him, then no one would before the show went off the air. Card rating: -1/2* Show time: 90 minutes Match observations: * Even with Ray Gordy's appearance, the show suffered its lowest ratings to date. * Wrestler Tony DeVito was seen backstage. |
| markod1967 | Posted on 02/13/08 at 19:17:25 What a character Jason is evolving into! Brilliant stuff!! ;D |
| JeepGuy | Posted on 02/16/08 at 06:41:29 and the Oxygen Network (OH!) presents: Crash! TV February 23rd, 2008 Your host: Matt Vasgersian * The camera opened with Network Rep Don Callis on his cell phone. Stuttering and stammering to get an answer out, Callis profusely apologized for last week's low ratings. He agreed something had to be done to fix it and was going to get right on it. Hanging up, he shook his head just as Ray Gordy and Jim Duggan walked by. Snapping his fingers, Callis stopped the two to tell them he knew where the problem was and to prove his point, he was going to put the two in a tag match against The Two Matts. With a big grin on his face, Callis marched off leaving two very confused wrestlers. * "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence played to a video package of wrestling highlights and moves before moving to Matt Vasgersian behind his studio desk talking to Gordon Solie. The two gave their usual welcome before jumping right into things. Solie said important news was just up ahead. Vasgersian announced the March 15th tag team tournament. He explained the double elimination tourney would host eight teams and was open to wrestlers from around the world. Solie said they already had two teams and Vasgersian jumped in naming The Two Matts and Chikara's Los Ice Creams as the first two teams. A chorus of boos sounded as J.J. Cruz with feather boa and sunglasses sauntered out. He waved off the fans before joining Vasgersian and Solie. Solie asked what kind of get-up was he wearing but was told to shut his wrinkly pie hole. Before either announcer could get out another word, Cruz put up his hand to stop them. He said that after his big win last week over Peter Polaco and his demolishing of Jessica Dalton, he was ready to move on to bigger and better. The new guy was ready to show the top talent in the promotion that he was all business and a threat and no longer had time for the curtain jerkers and enhancement talent. Solie wanted to know what was going on here and Vasgersian reminded him he barely ecked out dq victories over the two and might want to rethink what he was saying. A cheer went up and they were joined by USApe. Ape got in Cruz' face before pointing to the ring. Cruz nodded his head before laying in a sucker punch and it was on. J.J. Cruz defeated USApe by disqualification in 0:08:33. Rating: ** 1/2 * It was on alright as Cruz went on the early offensive nailing the Primate of Power with everything in his arsenal. The Master of Monkey Might turned the tide and had Cruz reeling under a blistering onslaught until an eyerake ground brought things to a halt. Fighting blindly, USApe mistakenly grabbed referee Mike Kehner and floored him with a swinging neckbreaker. When Kehner got back in the match, he called for the bell awarding it to Cruz who once again won by disquaification. * Commercial Break - Oxygen ... entertainment for women ... and the men who love them! New series Janice & Abbey on Tuesdays! * Lacey was backstage with The Two Matts. Strikker told Lacey they should just be awarded the tag belts because no in AWE could beat them. Cross said as long as he was part of the team, no one would beat them before asking Strikker who it was that beat both men in their tag match last week. Strikker went red faced when Cross said to top that but was cut off by Lacey who asked about their match tonight. Cross said this was a warm-up for Strikker because it had been awhile since he actually pinned someone. A fuming Strikker gave chase when Cross ran off. Lacey muttered something about beating Gordy. * Elsewhere the camera found Tony DeVito with referee HC Loc. DeVito looked very serious as he told Loc that he was there to create some havoc at the tag tournament and for that, he needed his old Carnage Crew partner Loc. Loc nodded his head before they were interrupted by referee Mike Kehner. Holding his neck and in pain, Kehner told the two that under no circumstances would Loc be available to wrestle. He was needed to ref and had to get to the ring for tonight's tag match. Loc shrugged his shoulders while DeVito looked ready to blow a gasket. * April Hunter was backstage with Jason Knight. Jason stroked his goatee as he looked over Hunter who did a little twirl for him before asking why he was still in AWE after being turned down by Peter Polaco last week. Jason said he liked some of the sights here and had a little business to take care, namely Peter Polaco. He wanted to prove a point, that being without Jason to guide him, Polaco was nothing. She asked how he planned to get his message out there and he told her to just keep those beautiful big eyes open. She told him after last week's tirade at the end of the show, she might be just the girl for him. She winked before the camera left them for the ring. Two Matts (Matt Cross and Matt Striker) defeated Ray Gordy and Jim Duggan when Strikker pinned Duggan with the Golden Rule in 0:10:15. Rating: * 3/4 * The fans were thoroughly behind Gordy, Duggan and Cross cheering everything they did. An early exchange between Cross and the obviously still hurting Gordy brought them to their feet and Duggan did everything in his power to leave it all in the ring. On the other hand, Strikker was booed loudly and often, especially when he tagged into the match. As it turned out, the blistering pace was just a little too much for the older Duggan and the still injured Gordy. Getting the pin, Strikker let Cross and everyone else in the building know who it was that got the pin and told them to top that. Having enough of that, Duggan gave a big "HOOOOOOOO!" before flattening a surprised Strikker. The show ended with Cross laughing at the downed Strikker as Gordy and Duggan clebrated with the fans. Card rating: ** Show time: 30 minutes Match observations: * Ray Gordy was limping slightly after the match but moved around the ring much better than he did last week. * Lacey Von Erich came out to the ring and had a few words for Gordy after the show went off the air. Before it went too far, she was grabbed by Duggan who planted a lip lock on her which brought a cheer from the fans, leaving her gagging. * Two of eight teams were signed for the upcoming tag team tournament. Next week, more teams will be announced, joining The Two Matts and Los Ice Creams. |
| markod1967 | Posted on 02/16/08 at 10:23:45 I get more and more into this with every passing card! Way to go Hacksaw!! |
| JeepGuy | Posted on 02/20/08 at 07:19:35 and the Oxygen Network (OH!) presents: Crash! TV March 1st, 2008 Your host: Matt Vasgersian * The camera opened with a tight shot of the multi-pierced face of Supreme. With a maniacal look on his mug, he talked about barbed wire, thumbtacks, lightbulbs and making people bleed buckets of blood ... until there was a loud smacking sound. In pain, he quickly turned around as the camera pulled back to reveal the huge King Kong Bundy standing behind him. Supreme yelled out in pain, asking what he did. Bundy shook his head as he said a father was supposed to teach his son the business which was about ring psychology and telling a story during the match NOT using weapons inside the ring and making his opponent bleed buckets of blood. Supreme shrugged his shoulders and flinched when Bundy threatened to slap him in the head again. The elder Bundy said for Supreme to pay attention because he might learn something about the business when the Bundys destroyed everyone and won the AWEsome Tag Team Titles! When the pair walked off, King Kong told Supreme to take all the hardware out of his face before his mother saw it. * The theme song to Married with Children's, "Love and Marriage" sung by Frank Sinatra played to a video package of wrestling highlights and moves before moving to Matt Vasgersian behind his studio desk. He and Gordon Solie were chatting it up when the audience cheered for the start of the show. Matty V welcomed everyone before getting into the tag team tournament starting in just two weeks. Solie jumped in and said there was another team jumping into the fray. * The camera left the hosts for the back where it focussed in on Tony DeVito chomping on a cigar. He was angry as it zoomed in on his face. He said he was here for one thing only and that was to win the tag belts with HC Loc and he didn't care if referee Mike Kehner said it wasn't going to happen because one way or another, the Carnage Crew was taking this place apart. As the camera pulled back, a man in a sombrero could be seen holding up a sign which read CARNE CREW. A smiling DeVito looked back and yelled out when he saw the sign was missing the letters A and G. Disgusted, he stormed off. * A return to Matty V and Solie. Vasgersian said it looked like they had four teams for the tournament though he didn't know just who DeVito was going to bring in as his partner. They were then joined by Jason and CG Afi. Jason said he set in motion a plan to teach a lesson to one Peter Polaco and the first step was the very talented CG Afi. Jason said that he had been watching Afi and was impressed and because Afi and Polaco had some history between them, he was ready to make an offer Afi couldn't refuse. Afi said he'd be more than happy to put Polaco in his place but first he had something else on his mind. If Jason would help him capture the tag team belts, he'd do his best to drive Peter Polaco into retirement. Jason agreed and the two shook hands when they were joined by Jessica Dalton. The angry Dalton pushed past Jason and got in Afi's face. She said before he worried about tag titles and Peter Polaco, Afi had other matters to attend to, namely her. While Afi might have forgotten about sticking his nose in her business, the ODB wasn't so quick to forget. Afi brushed her off before taking one in the chops. When Jason grabbed her, it was the USApe to the rescue ... and it was on! CG Afi and Jason defeated Jessica Dalton and USApe when Afi pinned ODB with the Tornado DDT in 0:11:16. Rating: *** * It was a fairly decent match for two teams that had never worked together. The audience was really behind Dalton and the Ape in this one but the bad guys proved to be a little too much, taking the win. Afterwards, they put the boots to USApe until Jim Duggan hit the ring and chased them off. He sent the program to a commercial with a "HOOOOOOOOO!". * Commercial Break - Oxygen ... entertainment for women ... and the men who love them! Join us in two weeks for the start of the AWEsome Tag Team Tournament! * April Hunter was backstage with Peter Polaco when DeVito barged in, going nose to nose with Polaco. DeVito said he didn't think Polaco was so tough back in their ECW days and by the way he looked now, April Hunter looked more manly than Polaco did. April thanked him but was told to beat it. Polaco said one thing didn't change from the old days, DeVito's breath was just as bad. Referees Mike Kehner and HC Loc were in seperating the two before it went further. Being pulled apart, Polaco asked if DeVito wanted to settle it inside the ring. * Moving on, we joined Matt Vasgersian inside Network Rep Don Callis' office. Callis said a few weeks back, the ratings had been very low and he was asked to fix it. Vasgersian was being put on notice for "phoning in" his onscreen performances. The Network wanted better and if that was what they wanted, Don Callis was going to give it to them. * Elsewhere in the back, Lacey Von Erich was with Madman Pondo and Bridgit. Pondo was furiously picking at a wedgie when they were joined by PN News. After a "What's Happening", News asked Pondo if he had a tag partner yet. News said that after their tag match two weeks ago, he thought they were naturals ... with Pondo as the buff blond surfer dude and himself as a life sized action figure, with Bridgit under them, how could they lose? Bridgit groaned and slapped her forehead when Pondo accepted. She stormed off when News said The Strongbads were in business! Peter Polaco and Tony DeVito battled to a double countout in 0:09:53. Rating: ** 1/4 * It started as a brawl, then broke out into a wrestling match before it went outside the ring and became a brawl again. The fans were on their feet, cheering with each blow. The two continued to fight after the match as the program went off the air. Card rating: ** 1/2 Show time: 30 minutes Match observations: * Referee HC Loc was out after the match to help Mike Kehner break up the brawl between DeVito and Polaco. * USApe and Jim Duggan as the All-Americans were the seventh team joining The Two Matts, Los Ice Creams, The Bundys, DeVito and ?, CG Afi and Jason and The Strongbads in the quest for the AWEsome Tag Team Titles. One spot remained open. * After the show, an angry Matt Vasgersian was seen leaving the building. |
| JeepGuy | Posted on 02/28/08 at 08:16:30 and the Oxygen Network (OH!) presents: Crash! TV March 8th, 2008 Your host: Matt Vasgersian * It was Tony DeVito and referee HC Loc arguing in the back. DeVito had no partner and Loc was sorry for not being able to step in to help because his hands were tied as head referee Mike Kehner pointed out, it was all in his contract. He went on to say that he'd do whatever he could to help his old buddy out. Then there was guitar music as an overweight, shirtless man in a sombrero stepped into view. After tearing the sombrero from his head, the man with a deep and obviously dubbed voice said to have no fear because he did indeed have friends. With a flip of his golden cape, the man looked skyward and said the Carne Crew would meet all challengers. * "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence played to a video package of wrestling highlights and moves before moving to the studio desk and a framed picture of Matt Vasgersian. Sitting beside the photograph was an old rotary phone next to a microphone. Vasgersian's voice boomed from the phone into the microphone, welcoming everyone to the show. He really was "phoning this one in". A friendly greeting to his cohost Gordon Solie was met with a blank stare and a shrug of the shoulders. Vasgersian said with seven teams, only one more was needed for the start of next week's tournament. Solie said with some business to take care of, he was sure they'd not only see a blast from the past but also get that last spot filled. They were then joined by fan favorite Ray Gordy who came in to a loud cheer. Vasgersian welcomed Gordy to the show and asked about his knee. Gordy said it was getting stronger each week. Vasgersian said that later in the show, they had a surprise for not only the fans but for Gordy as well, one that was sure to be a big surprise. Before getting into details, two masked men charged out from the back and attacked Gordy. With no help from the absent Vasgersian and Solie, Gordy was dragged into the ring. Handicap-Match: Ray Gordy defeated Los Ice Creams (El Hijo del Ice Cream and Ice Cream Jr.) when Ray Gordy pinned Hijo del Ice Cream with the Exploder Suplex in 0:12:09. Rating: ** 1/4 * The two strangely masked men put a beating on Gordy that would have made even Lacey Von Erich happy. While they celebrated to a chorus of boos, Gordy pulled himself up and began a beating of his own. It was the Gordy of old as referee HC Loc joined him in the ring and called for the bell. Two Exploder Suplexes and Gordy left both masked men flat on the mat for the win. * Commercial Break - Oxygen ... entertainment for women ... and the men who love them! Starting next week ... eight teams battle it out for the AWEsome Tag Team Tournament! * April Hunter was backstage with Bridget when they were joined by The Two Matts. Strikker said tonight, they were going to have a little tune-up match against her "Strongbads". He said they came up a little short as a team and should have been called the Bigfats instead. As he told Cross to top that one, someone yelled out Bridget's name. Strikker was pushed aside as King Kong Bundy came into view, sweeping Bridget off her feet. After giving her a hug, he asked if they were giving her any trouble. With a smirk on her face, she said they were. Both Matts ran off when Bundy scowled at them. * Ray Gordy, angrily made his way through the back when he was approached by Lacey. She asked if the knee was bothering him after his asskicking in the first match. He told her not now as he stormed off but stopped in his tracks when a mechanical voice told him not to listen to her belonging to a real blast from the past in Buddy Roberts. The Two Matts (Matt Cross and Matt Strikker) defeated The Strongbads (PN News and Madman Pondo) when Matt Cross defeated Madman Pondo by disqualification in 0:11:28. Rating: * 3/4 * Running for their lives, The Two Matts hit the ring only to find the Strongbads waiting for them. Just like their match a few weeks back, News and Pondo gave a good account of themselves early on in the match but the well oiled team of The Two Matts was just too much to overcome. With the match not going how they wanted, it was Pondo who literally lost it and hit referee Mike Kehner, who was quick to toss it out, in favor of Cross and Strikker. * Following the match, the Vasgersian Phone and Solie Screen were joined by Ray Gordy and Wrestling Legend Buddy Roberts. Solie said this was a real blast from the past and that he looked great. Speaking with a voice transmitter, Roberts said Solie looked even better. Putting aside the love, he said he was there to solve a problem. The AWE needed one more team for its tag team tournament starting next week and he had a solution. His solution began quite a few years ago while touring Asia and after a little too much celebration with Jack Daniels. It was his pleasure to bring out the son he didn't know he had until just a few years ago. Out came Jimmy Yang, introduced as Jimmy Yang Roberts. He quieted the surprised audience, saying that he was proud to do what Terry Gordy and Michael Hayes would have wanted as he announced the eighth and final tag team ... THE NEW FREEBIRDS! Card rating: ** Show time: 30 minutes Match observations: * Matt Vasgersian's phone lost its' signal just before Buddy Roberts made his announcement. * A random draw would be made later in the week to announce the first round matches. |
| rey619 | Posted on 02/28/08 at 12:55:47 Hehe.. I love this! Even though I'm usually not too fond of mixing time periods or using dead wrestlers, I'm just awestruck by the hilarious action and the good writing with some really really low comedy (which is my favorite kind). Suffice it to say, it's not the wrestling per say that is good with AWE, but the entertainment. Vasgersian phoning it in... priceless. |
| JeepGuy | Posted on 02/28/08 at 19:08:08On 02/28/08 at 12:55:47, rey619 wrote:Hehe.. I love this! Even though I'm usually not too fond of mixing time periods or using dead wrestlers, I'm just awestruck by the hilarious action and the good writing with some really really low comedy (which is my favorite kind).Who is a dead wrestler? The usage of Gordon Solie is on a monitor which is actually snippets of his old stuff pieced together. I'll have to go back and make sure I explained it properly. Anyway, thanks for reading and remember ... lots of good stuff on the way! |
| rey619 | Posted on 02/28/08 at 21:12:02 Ah.. I get the Solie thing now. My bad :P And I always confuse PN News with Bad News Allen, even though PN News wrestled for my home promotion here in Norway last year. |
| JeepGuy | Posted on 02/28/08 at 21:50:39On 02/28/08 at 21:12:02, rey619 wrote:Ah.. I get the Solie thing now. My bad :PI was trying to think who I've used/I'm using that might be dead. I was pretty sure that they were all alive and well but yeah, if anyone kicks it, I kick them. I'm not real big on mixed eras, dead and/or fantasy wrestlers though I have no problem taking "real" wrestlers and messing with their gimmicks. But thanks for the comments, I really appreciate it. More low brow comedy on the way, more on the Matt Vasgersian situation and more of the stuff that has left you AWEstruck! Don't forget, the start of the tag team tournament is just around the corner! |
| JeepGuy | Posted on 03/07/08 at 06:48:25 and the Oxygen Network (OH!) presents: Crash! TV March 15th, 2008 * The camera opened with the Network Rep, Don Callis in his office. Sitting at his desk, Callis let Show Host Matt Vasgersian know he wasn't happy about last week's little stunt. While it might have been funny, Callis said the Network wasn't laughing and they wanted some action. In this case, it was Vasgersian's job. The camera wheeled around to show Vasgersian's photo from last week being held by a member of security. Callis said to get Vasgersian out of there. Your host: Lacey Von Erich * "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence played to a video package of wrestling highlights and moves before moving to the studio desk and the lovely Lacey Von Erich. She welcomed everyone to the show before introducing her cohost, the Legendary Gordon Solie, safely on his monitor screen. Lacey said it was a big night to which Solie agreed, adding it was the start of a tag team tournament to crown a champion. She explained the double elimination, double bracket format starting this evening with randomly drawn teams. There was a loud booing as Matt Strikker marched out from the back. The booing stopped when Matt Cross followed out. Lacey introduced The Two Matts and said they were one of the favorites in the tournament. Strikker corrected her, saying they were THE team to beat and tonight's victims were the hapless New Freebirds. While the fans booed Strikker, Lacey looked very pleased as she clapped, adding she was certainly rooting for The Two Matts and that the New Freebirds had no business in the ring. Strikker said that no one was going to top him and Cross. Los Ice Creams (El Hijo del Ice Cream and Ice Cream Jr.) defeated The All Americans (Jim Duggan and USApe) when Ice Cream Jr. pinned USApe after the Assissino in 0:10:05. Rating: ** 3/4 * The masked men from Chikara showed they meant business. Last week, it was the attack on Gordy and this week, they did their best to obliterate the All Americans. Despite solid support from the fans, Duggan and the Ape were just outgunned, taking one on the chin to kick off the tournament. * Commercial Break - Oxygen ... entertainment for women ... and the men who love them! Next week ... the first round of the AWEsome Tag Team Tournament continues as four teams battle it out! * Bridget the Midget walked backstage until Matt Strikker stopped right in front of her. Strikker asked if her Bigfats had a chance of getting out of the first round. He said once they won the titles, he didn't think her team would get a shot because no one was interested in seeing them getting beaten again. As he told Cross to top that one, someone yelled out Bridget's name. Strikker was pushed aside as Supreme came into view, sweeping Bridget off her feet. After giving her a hug, he asked if they were giving her any trouble. With a smirk on her face, she said they were. Both Matts ran off with Supreme charging after them. * Ray Gordy and Jimmy Yang Roberts of the New Freebirds were stopped backstage by April Hunter. She asked if they were ready for their first match together against The Two Matts and if perhaps they bit off more than they could chew by facing one of the top teams in the tournament. While Jimmy's eyes were glued to April's big boobies, Gordy said that was just the luck of the draw and The New Freebirds were going to give their all, no matter who they faced. She asked about the knee and if that would prove to be a problem in the match. Gordy said it was feeling fine and the ones with the problem was The Two Matts. Dragging Roberts away, Gordy headed off. The Two Matts (Matt Cross and Matt Strikker) defeated The New Freebirds (Ray Gordy and Jimmy Yang Roberts) when Matt Cross pinned Ray Gordy with the Death From Above in 0:12:10. Rating: ** * Despite being an opening round match, both teams went at it like it was the tournament final, with the belts on the line. Even though Gordy and Roberts hadn't worked together before, they very nearly took the match several times with near pinfalls by both men. However, there were a couple of times when the new team looked out of sync, one of those times leading to an opening round victory by The Two Matts. * Strikker and Cross were joined inside the ring by Lacey Von Erich, who raised their arms in victory to a rather large case of the boobirds from the audience. Lacey waved them off before parading with victors around the ring as the show went off the air. Card rating: ** Show time: 30 minutes Match observations: * Next week's random draw matches have The Carne Crew facing off against CG Afi and Jason while The Strongbads take on the Bundys. * Though having a losing effort, The New Freebirds celebrated with the fans, signing autographs and taking pictures, long after the show went off the air. There was no word on Gordy's knee causing any pain or problems. * No word from the Network on who next week's host, replacing the fired Matt Vasgersian would be. Rumors have it the show would try rotating several hosts to see who was the best fit. |
| JeepGuy | Posted on 03/17/08 at 06:31:04 and the Oxygen Network (OH!) presents: Crash! TV March 22nd, 2008 * The camera opened on a shirtless Tony DeVito looking at himself in a full length mirror. Shaking his head, he spun around and said he couldn't do it. The camera spun around to find an equally shirtless Super Porky in matching gold tights, boots and cape standing proudly, his large belly sticking out and his hands on his hips. Guitar music played in the background as a deep and obviously dubbed voice spoke back and said that he must for in it was the spirit of the luchadore and that would carry them through the tournament. DeVito rolled his eyes but took the cape and mask from Super Porky. Your hosts: April Hunter and Jim Duggan * "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence played to a video package of wrestling highlights and moves before moving to the studio desk and the lovely April Hunter who was joined by Jim Duggan. Both of them welcomed the fans and Gordon Solie to another week of Crash! TV. Solie, from his monitor screen, said the fans were in for a special treat with more tournament matches that were sure to be good. Duggan took a deep breath as if he was going to say something but April cut him off, wagging her finger at him before agreeing with Solie and sending it to a quick clip of the finishes of both the matches from last week. After the clips, Duggan looked like he was ready to explode. Hunter shook her head and told Duggan he didn't know how far wrong he was. Duggan scratched his head out of confusion. Solie jumped in and said there was plenty of action left and things were just getting heated up. When he was finished, Hunter told Duggan to send it backstage to Lacey Von Erich. With a crooked smile and a thumb's up, he yelled out "HOOOOOOOOOOO!". * Backstage a smiling Lacey was with Ray Gordy and Jimmy Yang Roberts of the New Freebirds. She held up her fingers in the shape of an "L" and slapped it against her forehead as she introduced the pair. With glee in her eye, she told them they must feel awful after their horrible loss in their first match of the tournament. While The Yanger stared at her cleavage, Gordy waved her off saying they weren't quite finished. Sure they lost their first match but this tournament did two things ... first, it determined the AWE's tag champions and secondly, two other teams at the end would battle it out to be the #1 Contenders. Next week, The New Freebirds would start down that long road to become #1. After Gordy grabbed his partner and stormed off, Lacey rolled her eyes and called them losers. The Carne Crew (Tony DeVito and Super Porky) defeated CG Afi and Jason when DeVito pinned Afi after the Splash Mountain in 0:04:53. Rating: ** 1/2 [Peter Polaco interfered against Jason.] * It was the two mismatched masked men versus a guy who'd be better suited for the lucha stuff and a guy with a grudge against someone not in the match.Surprisingly, it was fairly fastpaced with Afi and Jason getting quick pin attempts that had them complaining about referee HC Loc's slow counts. To make matters worse, Peter Polaco came out and had words with Jason, distracting him from the match and leaving CG Afi to fend for himself. Afi laid out Super Porky but with Loc trying to seperate Polaco and Jason, no one was there to watch the sneaky DeVito nail Afi with a chair and rolled his rotund partner out of the ring, only to replace him and cover Afi for the win. Afterwards, Jason complained about the larger one being the legal man in but Loc only shrugged his shoulders before he raised the masked man's arm in victory. Jason turned to leave and found Peter Polaco waiting for him ... or rather, the bottom of Polaco's foot which connected loudly to the side of Jason's head ... and down he went in a heap. * Commercial Break - Oxygen ... entertainment for women ... and the men who love them! Next week ... the second round of the AWEsome Tag Team Tournament begins as four teams battle it out! * The Strongbads were backstage following Bridget the Midget. Pondo was furiously picking at his wedgie when his eyes went wide as their path was blocked by the even larger Bundys. Both Supreme and King Kong's hard stares softened into big grins as they picked up Bridget. Giving her a hug, they wished her team good luck in their match. * Backstage, a furious Jason was busy trashing the place while a pained CG Afi held his head as he watched. Jason complained to Afi that first the referee didn't know how to count, then he screwed them over when Porky's partner came into the match without a legal tag. Who was to blame for their loss? Only one person ... Peter Polaco ... and he was going to pay ... very soon! The Strongbads (PN News and Madman Pondo) defeated The Bundys (King Kong Bundy and Supreme) when Pondo pinned Supreme with the The Big Wave in 0:13:55. Rating: ** * Four of the biggest men in the promotion went at it for nearly fourteen minutes, throwing each other around the ring. Some how, some way, the All-American Surfer dude and the real American action figure pulled it off when Pondo dug deep down, when he wasn't pulling his outfit out of his ass, and hit the Big Wave out of nowhere for the pin. * When it was over, the Bundys, with their heads down, shook hands with the victors as the show went off the air. Card rating: ** Show time: 30 minutes Match observations: * The second round begins next week, starting with the first matches in the "Loser's Bracket". The four teams competing - The New Freebirds, Jim Duggan & USApe, CG Afi & Jason and The Bundys all need a victory remain alive in the tournament. Another loss for any of these four teams and they are out! * Rumor has that Joey Buttafuoco is going to be the host of the 13th episode of Crash! TV, the first macthes of the "Losers' Bracket". |