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What If... ECW (June 13, 2006)

JakePosted on 03/24/07 at 15:32:04

What if...

Vince McMahon had decided against relaunching ECW? What if he pulled out of negotiations with the SciFi channel just weeks before ECWs relaunch? And what if Paul Heyman had convinced McMahon that ECW didn't need a TV spot? That all Heyman needed was the roster and a permanent home at the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City?

Well, that's what I'm attempting to find out!

What if... Vince McMahon brought back ECW as a non-televised New York-based federation?
JakePosted on 03/24/07 at 15:33:32

Roster

Faces: (13)
Al Snow
Axl Rotten
Balls Mahoney
C.M. Punk
C.W. Anderson
Danny Doring
Francine
Jazz
Rob Van Dam
Sabu
Tazz
The Sandman
Tommy Dreamer

Heels: (14)
Andrew Martin
Big Guido
Justin Credible
Kelly Kelly
Kevin Fertig
Kurt Angle
Little Guido
Mike Knox
Roadkill
Shelly Martinez
Stevie Richards
The Big Show
Tony Mamaluke
Trinity

Tag Teams:
The Hardcore Swingin' Chair Freaks (Axl Rotten, Balls Mahoney)

Stables:
The F.B.I. (Big Guido, Little Guido, Tony Mamaluke, Trinity)

Referees:
Scott Armstrong
Mickie Henson (Head Referee)
Dewey Larson
Mike Posey

Other Employees:
Paul Heyman - Head of ECW
Justin Roberts - Ring Announcer
JakePosted on 03/24/07 at 15:41:46


June 13th, 2006
From The New Permanent Home of ECW: The Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City


Interview:
Paul Heyman welcomes the crowd to the relaunch of ECW in the NEW "ECW Arena": The Hammerstein Ballroom in New York City. ECW is back, and just like before; it doesn't need Vince McMahon's lighting, it doesn't need Vince McMahon's Video-Trons, it doesn't need Vince McMahon's pyro, it doesn't need Vince McMahon's money, it doesn't... well, actually it does need Vince McMahon's money, but it's the thought that counts. ECW doesn't even need a television spot. No... Heyman suddenly pops out of the ring and to the audience, where he asks a fan for his video camera. Back in the ring, Heyman turns the camera around and continues. No, all ECW needs to survive is it's fans. It's what ECW was and what ECW will always be.

Now that all that sucking-up is out of the way, Heyman announces that later tonight he will present his first draft pick, "Mr. EC-fucking-W" Rob Van Dam with the newly reinstated ECW World Heavyweight Championship.

Then he asks for his second draft pick, the Olympic Gold Medalist: Kurt Angle. Angle's music begins playing and the new ECW superstar makes his way to the ring, seeming a bit disoriented without his accompanying pyro. The audience is solidly behind Angle; appreciative of his talent and commitment to the business. Heyman officially welcomes Kurt to ECW and then proceeds to put down Kurt Angle for walking out of ECW back in 1996. Kurt Angle couldn't handle the in-your-face attitude of ECW. Angle balked at the first offensive thing he saw, because he was afraid of losing something, whereas ECW was about putting everything on the line. Paul claims Kurt isn't EXTREME, and that he only drafted him because he's a vindictive son-of-a-bitch! He tells Kurt that he'll be in a #1 contenders LADDER match against one of the men who made ECW: The Suicidal, Homocidal, Genocidal, Death-Defying Sabu. Angle stares a hole into the back of Heyman's head, as Paul E. leaves the ring. For what appears to be the first time, the crowd boos Heyman for his treatment of Angle, but a few cheers break out at the prospect of Kurt Angle vs Sabu in the Main Event.

No-Countout-No-DQ-Falls-Count-Anywhere Match:
Little Guido pinned Stevie Richards with the Arrivederci in 0:04:11.
Rating: ***

Match Observation:
Maybe if Stevie had kept the B.W.O. together, he might not have been distracted by the rest of the F.B.I. and could have fought off Little Guido. Or maybe if he weren't a red-blooded male, he would have kept his eyes off Trinity. Either way, he still lost.

No-Countout-No-DQ-Falls-Count-Anywhere Match:
Danny Doring pinned Justin Credible after an inside cradle in 0:08:08.
Rating: ** 3/4

Match Observation:
A decent back and forth match, that saw Doring picking up the win with a roll-up when Credible missed a Superkick.

Table Match:
The Full Blooded Italians (Big Guido and Tony Mamaluke) defeated The Hardcore Chair Swingin' Freaks (Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney) when Big Guido defeated B. Mahoney by putting him through a table in 0:16:59.
Rating: *

Match Observation:
Balls Mahoney certainly lived up to expectations, nearly incapacitating Big Guido early on with multiple, vicious chairshots. Axl Rotten didn't have as much luck when going after Mamaluke, who made sure to keep his distance from the other half of the Chair Swingin' Freaks, allowing Little Guido to get the sneak attack after Axl was distracted by Trinity, who was barely covered in police tape. Balls was unable to fight off the F.B.I. and fell victim to a double suplex through the table. The Hardcore Chair Swingin' Freaks are going to need some backup if they want to seek revenge.

No-Countout-No-DQ-Falls-Count-Anywhere Match:
The Big Show pinned C.W. Anderson with the Choke Slam in 0:01:41.
Rating: * 3/4

Match Observation:
C.W. Anderson never got an opportunity to lay a finger on The Extreme Giant. Jumping to ECW really seems to have invigorated the 7-foot monster. He didn't toy with C.W., he merely crushed him when the bell rang.

Impromtu Interview:
The Big Show grabs a microphone and laments that ECW will be "easy" if this is the best they have. "Enter Sandman" blares over the PA as the Sandman makes his way through the crowd. The Big Show leaves the ring before Sandman can enter, but readily accepts Sandman's challenge to a Singapore Cane Match for next week.

Interview:
To thunderous applause, Rob Van Dam makes his way to the ring, showing off his new WWE Championship belt. "Cena sucks dick! Cena sucks dick! Cena sucks dick!" Rob says that he, himself, doesn't suck, but he may inhale every now and then. Paul Heyman is quick to make his way to the ring, carrying the ECW Championship over his shoulder. Paul Heyman proudly presents Rob Van Dam with the ECW World Heavyweight Championship, wishes him the best of luck, thanks RVD for everything and leaves to allow Van Dam to continue his speech. RVD thanks the fans for always having his back, and he's PROUD to finally wear a World Heavyweight title around his waist, much less two at the same time, especially since he'll easily break his own record that he set with the ECW World Television Championship. Howewver, before The Whole Fucking Show can continue, Heyman returns, cellphone in hand, and lets RVD know that John Cena will be here NEXT WEEK in a WWE Championship rematch. Van Dam says he's ready, but wonders if Cena is ready to deal with the pro-ECW, pro-RVD crowd once again. He also wonders if Kurt Angle is ready for Sabu.

No-Time-Limit-Number-One-Contenders-Ladder Match:
Sabu defeated Kurt Angle in 0:21:45.
Rating: **** 1/4
[Tazz interfered against Kurt Angle.]

Match Observation:
To say that this was a clash of styles would be putting it lightly. Kurt Angle had everything to prove in this match. And perhaps he did, managing to keep momentum mostly on his side; keeping Sabu out of his element, never letting up, never giving the Suicidal, Homocidal, Genocidal Maniac an opportunity to use his environment. Eventually, Angle goes for the ladder and sets it up, but quickly leaves the ring to retrieve a SECOND ladder. An attempt at ramming the ladder into a prone Sabu proves futile and turns things around for the ECW original. He sends Angle out of the ring and into the table set up near the ring. Laying Angle out on the table, Sabu runs back into the ring to the delight of the crowd and back out with a hands-free suicide dive, crashing into Kurt and through the table. He pushes the timekeeper from his chair to get one of his infamous weapons of destruction: a steel chair. Angle, somehow, manages to get back to his feet and into the ring. Sabu quickly follows, throws the chair to Angle and, in what had to be a sign of respect for the new ECW Champion, kick the chair into Angle's face. Angle lies on the mat motionless. Sabu eyes the second ladder left in the ring, takes a quick glance to the turnbuckle, and then to the fans, who cheer appreciatively, knowing what Sabu intends to do. Grabbing the ladder, Sabu climbs up the turnbuckle, and in a way that only Sabu could, attempts an Arabian Facebuster with the ladder! But Angle manages to roll away just seconds before Sabu's impact. Sabu grabs his legs in pain and screams out in agony. "HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!" Angle locks Sabu in the Ankle Lock, purposely targetting the surely injured leg of Sabu. Although this is a ladder match, Kurt refuses to release the hold as Sabu taps out; Kurt begans yelling to Paul Heyman that "This is what I think of ECW!" Suddenly, the lights go out and a familiar heart beat begins pounding over the PA. The crowd, which has slowly turned on Angle as he abuses Sabu, erupts into cheers knowing what awaits Angle. The lights come back on, "War Machine" replacing the dying heart beats, and Angle, still applying the Ankle Lock, doesn't realize that Tazz has entered the ring. Tazz grabs Angle and, to the crowds delight, begins choking Angle out with the Tazmission. He begins yelling at Sabu to "Get the fuck up!" Sabu slowly climbs his way up the ladder and to eventual victory. Tazz holds the choke-hold on Angle for another minute or so, until the referees manage to pull Tazz off the unconscious Angle.

Interview:
Tazz stands in the middle of the ring, slightly out of breath, revelling in the crowd's cheers before getting a microphone. The Human Suplex Machine challenges the "Olympic Gold Asshole" to a Submission Match next week. Tazz has waited a long time for this moment. Slowly preparing himself to destroy Kurt Angle. Tazz invited Angle to ECW in 1996, and he disrepected him by running away like a pussy. He will choke Kurt Angle out, and he'll be damned if he lets him survive.

--------------------

Card rating: ** 3/4

Match Results:
Little Guido def. Stevie Richards.
Danny Doring def. Justin Credible.
Table Match: Big Guido & Tony Mamaluke def. Axl Rotten & Balls Mahoney.
The Big Show def. C.W. Anderson.
#1 Contenders Ladder Match: Sabu def. Kurt Angle.

Next Week:
The debut of Mike Knox with his girlfriend, Kelly Kelly.
Singapore Cane Match: The Sandman vs The Big Show.
Submission Match: Kurt Angle vs Tazz.
WWE Championship Match: Rob Van Dam (C) vs John Cena.
JakePosted on 03/24/07 at 15:45:16

Any feedback and/or criticism welcome.
The TNM Members ChampPosted on 03/24/07 at 23:39:19

I like the concept. Anything that strays away from the silliness that is WWE meddling in what made ECW popular is fine with me.

I don't like The Big Show being involved with ECW at all, though. He's a sports entertainment type of wrestler.

The main event was similar of classic ECW main events of the past. Of all the WWE imports into the relaunched ECW, I was most disappointed with how it went with Kurt Angle. I thought he would've been a perfect wrestler to build the new ECW around.

JakePosted on 03/25/07 at 06:07:49

My plan for Big Show is a nice, slow build (same goes for a certain Punk). Doubtful he'll be Main Eventing anytime soon, may just go with the real life "retirement" eventually.