FORUM HOME > TNM Circuits > TNM Circuits
DWF 17/03/08

91Posted on 08/22/06 at 22:22:04

ROYAL RUMBLE QUALIFIER: "Unnecessarily Evil" John Cena vs Hunter Hearst-Helmsley

Three more Royal Rumble qualifiers took place today with four places on the
line. Kicking off with the unnecessary one John Cena taking on a former winner
of the Rumble Hunter Hearst-Helmsley. Before the match, Rockabilly and Helmsley
began proceedings by putting down Brad Armstrong, taking responsibility for him
having missed last weeks show, even though it was Alex Wright and Ulf Herman
who had been the ones who hurt him. Rockabilly claimed the beatings they gave
Armstrong in the last few weeks left him prone to injury and they would be
taking credit for what happened.

After we were done with that diatribe, Cena made his way out wearing a stupid
looking cap that he revealed he had just stolen from Jonathan Coachman when
Coach wasn't looking, before throwing it to the fans. Expect to see that on
E-Bay for about $2 in the next few days. With the match underway, Cena started
off strongest until a blatant trip by Rockabilly but Cena flat on his face. The
ref responded by ejecting Rockabilly from ringside, causing him to freak out.

With Rockabilly gone, Helmsley took control as a result of the interference
and kept Cena at bay with a methodical approach. A high knee looked to have won
it at one point, save for a very close two count. Quickly he went for the
Pedigree to finish things but Cena rolled out and caught Helmsley with a belly
to belly suplex for another two. Cena was on a roll, only to be caught out by
another high knee from Hunter. Sensing victory, Helmsley went to pick Cena off
the mat only for Cena to quickly grab ahold of him and lift him into the Eighth
Deadly Sin before driving him down to the mat for a three count.

Cena is in the Rumble and one man who cannot be happy about that is Larry
Zbyszko who swore not only to eliminate him from the match but to get manager
Jonathan Coachmans hat back as he threw a hissy fit backstage. Cena didn't even
need to do anything unnecessarily evil and Zbyszko is angered - he's REALLY
gotten to him.

[Royal Rumble Qualifier]:
John Cena pinned Hunter Hearst-Helmsley with the Eighth Deadly Sin in 0:07:40.
Rating: ** 1/4

Sean O'Haire vs Super Calo

With Sean O'Haire taking his turn to be in action this week, it meant Brian
Pillman was barred from the building this time out. One wondered whether the
psychopath would actually heed these rules, but O'Haire at least went
untouched by Pillmans hand on this night. O'Haire was up against Super Calo and
truth be told, there was little doubt - Calo actually kicked out of a flying
clothesline that has won a few matches for O'Haire so credit to him but he was
down enough to get hit with the Seanton Bomb for what we could call a routine
victory.

The night wasn't over for O'Haire though, as Pillman appeared on the video wall
having literally dragged a cameraman to the parking lot outside the arena (by
his ankles, no less) and was stood by O'Haires own car. Smashing the window,
he proceeded to pour petrol through the window onto the seats and then lit it
on fire. O'Haire looked aghast, not knowing what to make of this one (and
probably upset at this wanton destruction of his property). Luckily Pillman had
drained the tank so the fire was easy enough to put out, but this one is
certainly a write-off. O'Haire made his way to the back, and looked to be
livid - the usually collected O'Haire is finally being pushed to breaking point
by this maniac Pillman. Pillman meanwhile insisted on the video wall that he's
doing all this just to prove how much he loves O'Haire and how destroying him
when they get in the ring together is also a necessity of this.

Sean O'Haire pinned Super Calo with the Seanton Bomb in 0:03:50.
Rating: ***

A day out with La Resistance

We saw footage of La Resistance today at a major league baseball match as part
of their appreciation of American culture. At first they seemed to be enjoying
the action as well as their nachos (though the glasses of Chateau made the
Americanism less than authentic). As the game drew on, La Resistance began to
get bored and entered the field of play to suggest that instead they throw the
ball into the middle of the field which they did, and then persuaded the
players to throw metal balls at the baseball and try and get them as close as
possible, simply as a "very minor technical adjustment". The players duly
obliged, at which point Rene Dupree noted that baseball seemed very similar
to their countries "Boules", causing he and Grenier to do the French Tickler.
Yes, they played out the rest of the innings like this, and yes the Cubs still
lost.

Essa Rios vs Kurt Angle

Kurt Angle was in action today but before his match, he had words for that
"stinking communist bastard" Rhyno. After Rhyno had cost Angle a match last
week, he warned Rhyno that coming within ten feet of the ring tonight would
result in Angle snapping his ankle at Last Man Standing. Whilst it's doubtful
that Rhyno chose not to make an appearance for THIS reason, Angle was at least
able to go unhindered on a way to a standard win over Essa Rios, finishing with
the Olympic Slam. Angle looked as good as ever and made some threatening
remarks to the camera as to what he plans to do to that "disgusting foreign
piece of human garbage" in two weeks time.

Kurt Angle pinned Essa Rios with the Olympic Slam in 0:04:32.
Rating: ***

Jerry Lynn appears on the Kings Court

The Kings Court today had a very special guest - the returning Jerry Lynn.
First thing King Kanyon tried to probe is why Jerry Lynn walked out of
Retribution last year after losing the title to Don Muraco, not to return for
six months and insinuated that Lynn was in some way cowardly for it. Lynn
quickly made Kanyon back down just by looking at him the wrong way, but none
the less answered - he knew Muraco was not like anyone else he has ever faced
in the DWF or anywhere else besides and in order for him to stand where he
belongs at the top of the DWF as he deems is necessary, it would take some
MAJOR re-evaluation of the situation. Raven had proven that beating Muraco isn't
completely impossible and after falling so heavily at Retribution, he had to
stand back and work out his next move from afar, and after six months of
studying and careful planning, he felt now is the time to take Muraco on at
his open challenge of 'anyone who he has never defended the title against'.
Lynn rightly qualifies having never taken up a rematch option.

Lynn then moved onto this particular challenge. Wanting Don Muraco at Last Man
Standing, he now sees the perfect opportunity to strike with Muraco, perhaps
like everyone else, starting to focus on Wrestlefest VIII in two months. King
Kanyon beggared the question that how could Lynn know Muraco himself hadn't
improved greatly in the past six months, particularly since he's appeared to
become more and more dominant, defeating Raven several times despite having
originally lost to him. Lynn simply stated that as the man who knows exactly
what is right and wrong for the DWF and the wrestling world, he knows things
like this and he knows now is the perfect time to beat Muraco and Muraco knows
it.

Just after Lynn left, while Kanyon was instructing the ring crew to remove his
throne carefully from the ring, Chris Jericho stormed the ring and began
trashing the place again. Kanyon swung at him with the sceptre but Jericho
ducked and hit a back suplex that floored the king before he rolled out of the
ring.

Steve Corino (c) vs Lance Storm (television title)

After his excellent victory last week over Billy Kidman, Lance Storm was
granted a shot at Steve Corinos television title, a belt he has held for almost
ten months now. Before the match, whilst Ken Shamrock was wishing Lance Storm
the best of luck, Corino wasn't quite getting the same sense of loyalty from
his tag team partner. Kidman said it wasn't that he didn't want Corino to win
but that if he did, he'd have defeated Lance Storm right after Storm had beaten
himself and that would make him look bad. Corino insisted it wouldn't make him
look bad but Kidman remained unconvinced.

Corino made his way out alone and he and Lance engaged in an excellent little
match with several near falls and nobody gaining a decisive edge. It was Lance
Storm who looked good in the closing stages until he missed a charge into the
corner and hit the turnbuckles. Dazed he staggered into the centre where Corino
lined up the Old School Expulsion. Corino took a little run-up but Storm had
almost lured him into at and ducked out of the way. Quickly Corino was up but
Storm grabbed him by the legs and took him down and locked on the Maple Leaf.
The crowd rose sensing a possible title change. Corino looked dead and buried
and was on the verge of tapping but was close enough to the ropes to just barely
reach out and clasp a few fingers round the bottom rope.

For a second, Storm thought he'd won it and the momentary lapse allowed Corino
to his feet. Storm quickly came back over but Corino rammed his shoulder into
Storms gut and just like that, Corino hit the Old School Expulsion out of
nowhere. At this point, Kidman sprinted out and told him to stop, then looked
torn as he wasn't sure what he should do. Corino, frustrated at Kidman worrying
about nothing left the ring to calm him down before Kidman went off on Corino
going back on his word of helping out his career and instead worrying about
defending the TV title (which is actually what Corino had said his priority
would be), Corino assured him this was just a routine title defense, but that
title defense had gone to pot when he realised he'd been counted out. Storm
half heartedly celebrated the win, knowing he wouldn't win the title but he
could have lost it at the end and this way he's surely in line for a rematch.

Lance Storm defeated Steve Corino by countout in 0:10:18.
Rating: *** 1/4
(Steve Corino retained the Television Title.)

Kidman and Corino take it backstage

Corino meanwhile had to reassure Kidman AGAIN backstage as he insisted that he
HAD to worry about defending the television title and went into a rant on how
his having the belt was GOOD for Kidman because it meant Kidman was hanging
with a winner which would make him look like a winner in the process. Kidman
rightly noted he'd been world champion, twice, which alone should be enough to
make him a winner and by the time the cameras left them, they were still
babbling on. God knows whats going to settle Kidman and God knows what Corino
is thinking when he comes up with this stuff.

ROYAL RUMBLE QUALIFIER: La Parka vs Rockabilly

Rockabilly was back for his Royal Rumble qualifier against La Parka and this
time Helmsley was ordered away from ringside before the match even got underway
to prevent any chance of a repeat of what happened in the John Cena match
earlier. With Rockabilly frustrated, La Parka only served to wind him up
further by strutting and playing air guitar in his face. Rockabilly responded
by whacking him in the head as the match got underway.

La Parka quickly came back with a springboard body press that got a close two
and from there he looked the dominant man. Sensing trouble, Helmsley ran back
out and jumped on the apron. With Rockabilly winded and dropping to his knees,
La Parka sprang off of Rockabilly and dropkicked Helmsley right off the apron
and into the guardrail. However as he leaned over to shake his knees at Hunter,
Rockabilly ran in and hit the Fame-Asser for a very undeserved victory. Still,
it does mean he'll see Brad Armstrong in the Rumble...

[Royal Rumble Qualifier]:
Rockabilly pinned La Parka Jr. with the Fame Asser in 0:02:59.
Rating: * 1/2

Don Muraco responds

Don Muraco meanwhile wasn't convinced of what Jerry Lynn had had to say, or at
least he didn't show, when we saw him backstage with manager Jeff Hardy and
business associate Alex Wright who was accompanied by bodyguard Ulf Herman.
Muraco was adamant that Lynn was still not a contender but told the group that
he would take him up on his challenge and register a third straight victory
over Lynn. Alex Wright agreed, and pointed out how much gold was being paraded
in the room (with Muraco, Wright and Hardy all holding the gold) before making
reference to how easy he'd squashed "das schiesekopf" Brad Armstrong. Wright
then offered Muraco his services and said he'd help out in weakening Lynn in
time for Last Man Standing with a match tonight. Muraco and Wright both laughed
before Wright made it clear that it was bodyguard Ulf Herman he was throwing
into the mix to face Lynn. Herman looked a little surprised but Wright told him
not to worry, noting he'd have his back for this one.

Jody Fleisch vs Gene Snitsky

A further effort to weaken Jody Fleisch by Matt Hardy saw him throw Fleisch
up against Gene Snitsky. With Heidenreich having just secured a win over Jody,
Hardy was looking to embarass him a second time in as many weeks. Before the
match however, Hardy had the Che-Guevara style banners of himself lowered and
made a speech to the fans about how, as the Cult of Personality leader of the
DWF, he was bringing true prosperity to the company, starting with ridding us
of Jody Fleisch. He also refered to himself as president, czar, mogul and
caliph of the DWF. Sick-in-the-head fascist dictator might have described it
best.

To the match and Fleisch was clearly outnumbered with Hardy and Heidenreich on
the outside. To make matters worse, Hardy ordered referee Jack Doan to not
disquality Snitsky under any circumstances. At first, it was simply things
like tripping Fleisch or distracting him. Fleisch struggled to hang on but he
was going well and looked to have Snitsky when he sprang off the second rope
and, wrapping his legs round Snitskys waist, rolled him up in a victory roll
like move. Hardy outright jumped onto the apron and distracted the ref (like it
mattered) while Heidenreich ran in and booted Fleisch in the head. At the next
advantage Snitsky got, Heidenreich outright ran into the ring and clotheslined
him in view of the official. Heidenreich then proceeded to use his "laser
vision" to slice Fleisch up and celebrated his apparent death. Still, Fleisch
came back and began wailing away on Snitsky. Snitsky then used his "fire
breath" and with Fleisch a walking ball of fire, in his mind, he threw him
from the ring. Hardy then orchestrated an attack on the outside where they
dropped him over the guardrail and then, with Hardy pulling the mats back,
Snitsky and Heidenreich hit a double powerbomb on what they thought was Jody
Fleischs corpse. It was quite the nasty beatdown, and both men were counted
out, as if the result was really worth a damn after this. Hardy certainly
seemed convinced that he'd gotten what he wanted.

Gene Snitsky and Jody Fleisch battled to a double countout in 0:09:12.
Rating: ***

ROYAL RUMBLE QUALIFIER: Low Ki & Kid Kash vs Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon

Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon, as former world tag team champions were favourites
against Low Ki and Kid Kash in the nights final Royal Rumble qualifier.
After a fast paced start from the two cruiserweights, LaFon used his experience
in tag teaming to hit a knee to the back of Low Ki from the apron to swing the
tide. From there, Low Ki was cut off in the oppositions half of the ring and
only for his resiliance was he able to hang on. All was going smoothly for the
Can-Am duo until LaFon hooked up Low Ki for Furnas to hit his patented dropkick.
When they missed, LaFon was knocked down and Low Ki clotheslines Furnas to
the outside before making the tag.

With the fresh Kid Kash in, he was a house on fire, knocking LaFon off his
feet several times and then grabbing Doug Furnas as he made his way back onto
the apron. LaFon saw the chance and hit a low blow. Furnas came back in and
motioned to LaFon to try hooking him up again but LaFon was having none of it,
insisting this time Furnas be the man to hold Kash up. Furnas obliged and
incredibly LaFon went for a dropkick of his own, perhaps to prove a point,
despite not being the least bit adept at the move in comparison to his partner.
Kash saw it coming a mile off and Furnas took the dropkick to the gut and fell
from the ring. Kash took advantage and hit the Money Maker on the distracted
LaFon to take a surprise win.

After the match, Furnas clearly wasn't happy with LaFon, but LaFon equally
chastised Furnas for having made a similar blunder first, before they stormed
off seperately. Things evidently aren't all that great in paridise.

[Royal Rumble Qualifier]:
Low Ki & Kid Kash (Low Ki and Kid Kash) defeated
Doug Furnas & Phil Lafon (Doug Furnas and Phil Lafon) when Kid Kash pinned Lafon
with the Money Maker in 0:12:21.
Rating: **** 1/4

Jerry Lynn vs Ulf Herman

So Jerry Lynn made his long awaited return in the ring against Ulf Herman in
the nights main event but with Alex Wright at ringside, things would never be
as simple as they should be. Any suggestions of ring rust were dispelled in the
first minute of the match - Herman jumped Lynn at the bell but Lynn came back
with a flurry of rights that rocked the big German before clotheslining him to
the outside. Herman was definitely surprised at how quickly Lynn had come out
of the block and looked a little shaken. Time for IC champ Alex Wright to give
him a little pep-talk.

Back in the ring, Lynn continued to be the dominant man but things took a turn
for the worse when Lynn whacked him hard on the ankle with the whip and Herman
took advantage for a while, beating down Lynn in the corner and using his
strength and size advantage to wear him down. Lynn however didn't hold the
world title for a record time for nothing and was soon back in it. With Herman
rocked again, Lynn looked to be going for the Cradle Piledriver only for Alex
Wright to run in just as Lynn was about to grab ahold of Herman. Lynn stopped
and turned around in time. Wright wisely backed down, only for Herman to sneak
up and hook Lynn from behind.

Herman had him held pretty tight and Wright looked set to take a run up and
nail Lynn with the whip, while the ref failed to get him to stop. Before he
could take that run however, Brad Armstrong sprinted to the ring and intercepted
him with The Rocks patented slap, slap, spit in hand, slap combination that
rocked Wright. Brad was clearly on a mission for the beatdown he suffered two
weeks ago and evidently that beatdown had failed to keep him out of the Royal
Rumble match. Brad then chased Wright out of the ring and while this was going
on, Hermans guard dropped and Lynn hit a stiff elbow to the side of the head to
get out of the hold. Herman was dazed and stumbled right into a small package
that got the win. Lynn didn't need to celebrate this one, he's more focused on
other matters at hand now, in Don Muraco, but Muraco better bank on this match
going longer than the slaughter at Retribution did. No doubt about it though,
Jerry Lynn is well and truly back.

Jerry Lynn pinned Ulf Herman after a small package in 0:14:19.
Rating: ** 3/4

On a final note, there is no word on the condition on Rob Van Dam after last
weeks injury, but rumour is that it's bad. More word on this when we have it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just a personal note - due to my slowness in doing DWF cards and such, this
was the first Jerry Lynn match I'd sat down and done in over a year. Scary.
91Posted on 08/22/06 at 23:39:12

Not that I'm one to bump my own topics, but am I the only one seeing a thousand Unright topics that haven't been posted in for months being thrust to the top of the page? Either way, I'd quite like to leave this on the first page long enough for someone to read it so - BUMP!
Snabbit888Posted on 08/23/06 at 00:00:43

No, I see it too.  No idea what that's about.  *shrug*
Snabbit888Posted on 08/23/06 at 00:23:54

LOL... left him prone to injury.  Rockabilly rocks.  Larry Z is mad that Cena stole the Coach's hat.  It's not quite Edge/Booker feuding over shampoo, but it rules just as much.

O'Haire easily defeats Super Calo.  And then Pillman burns his car.  How will O'Haire get home? :(

Ha ha.  Don't make a crack at my poor Cubs.  Stupid Frenchies.

Angle looks good in a victory over Essa Rios.  I'm not sure Rhyno is going to have a chance at Last Man Standing.

I like Lynn being back and he will be a serious threat to Muraco, but I don't see him winning.  Right now I am having all kinds of troubles thinking of who could win the Rumble and be a legitimate threat.  Muraco's beat Dynamite Kid and Rhyno and Raven thoroughly, and with Lynn getting the title shot here, he's not taking it at Wrestlefest.  Hrm... bugger me stumped.

Storm looked really good in beating Corino, even if it was by countout and Corino would have won if it weren't for Kidman.  He got a good deal of offense in on the reigning TV champ.

It's only a matter of time before Corino bitchslaps Kidman into oblivion.

ACK!  No La Parka in the Rumble?  Now I love Rockabilly as much as the next guy, but where do we draw the line here?

Muraco is confident, and honestly, if I were him, I'd be confident too.  The guy has been successful.  Almost too successful.  This confidence may be what costs him.

Heidenreich and Snitsky rule a lot.  Poor Fleisch... laser vision AND fire breath?  Who could withstand that!?

Ki and Kash win, which I have no problems with.  Furnas and LaFon should love, not hate.  And only I am allowed to have partnerships be strained.  I figure since I have about 8 teams at the moment having trouble, I've stolen that angle from being used in other circuits. :)

The main was a little overbooked, but Lynn wins and that's what is important.

Hrm... RVD's in bad shape.  Like retired bad shape?
americamamushiPosted on 08/23/06 at 00:26:59

Cena is in and Larry is teh uber-pissed.  I think Cena will be taking a trip to Larryland when all is said and done though, courtesy of one Mr. Zbyszko.

Funny bit if La Resistance.  Odd, but funny.  ;)

An expected win for Angle.  Essa Rios... now theres a guy that doesn't get used much 'round these parts.

Storm should get a re-match, hopefully with a solid ending.  Maybe Kidman should worry less about Corino making him look bad if he had beaten Storm and more about making himself look bad because he got beaten by Storm.

La Parka & Rockabilly.  It's a tough choice for who I wanted to see win.  COuldn't they just have had a dance off? ;)

I'm thinking LaFon and Furnas aren't going to be making it much longer as a team if this keeps up.  Although seeing the two against eachother isn't a bad vision of the future.

Good win for Lynn.  Lynn vs. Muraco should definitely rock the casbah.
91Posted on 08/23/06 at 00:41:49

Don't make a crack at my poor Cubs.

The fact you support the Cubs, which I didn't previously know, makes that all the funnier. Truth be told, I don't know much about baseball but I know there's a sort of in joke with the Cubs not winning the World Series for a couple of centuries.

I like Lynn being back and he will be a serious threat to Muraco, but I don't see him winning.  Right now I am having all kinds of troubles thinking of who could win the Rumble and be a legitimate threat.  Muraco's beat Dynamite Kid and Rhyno and Raven thoroughly, and with Lynn getting the title shot here, he's not taking it at Wrestlefest.  Hrm... bugger me stumped.

It's fun to see you sweat. You're nicely circumnavigating the outcome there. Though I'm worried you'll be pissed when you it's revealed.

And only I am allowed to have partnerships be strained.

Oh... you might want to skip the next show then, it gets worse. Come to think of it, you might need to skip several shows.

Essa Rios... now theres a guy that doesn't get used much 'round these parts.

He doesn't get used much by me either, truth be told. He's only there because I had him from the start and I don't have the heart to fire the poor guy. After Jericho turned last year, he's the only guy to have been employed from day 1 uninterrupted without having changed allegiances. Other than Paul Roma, but he doesn't count.

Couldn't they just have had a dance off?

BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER! I missed the boat with that one. I could have had Rockabilly try and wuss out and challenge... ahh bugger. I think there's something for a future show there.