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DWF 17/03/08
91 | Posted on 08/22/06 at 22:22:04 ROYAL RUMBLE QUALIFIER: "Unnecessarily Evil" John Cena vs Hunter Hearst-Helmsley Three more Royal Rumble qualifiers took place today with four places on the line. Kicking off with the unnecessary one John Cena taking on a former winner of the Rumble Hunter Hearst-Helmsley. Before the match, Rockabilly and Helmsley began proceedings by putting down Brad Armstrong, taking responsibility for him having missed last weeks show, even though it was Alex Wright and Ulf Herman who had been the ones who hurt him. Rockabilly claimed the beatings they gave Armstrong in the last few weeks left him prone to injury and they would be taking credit for what happened. After we were done with that diatribe, Cena made his way out wearing a stupid looking cap that he revealed he had just stolen from Jonathan Coachman when Coach wasn't looking, before throwing it to the fans. Expect to see that on E-Bay for about $2 in the next few days. With the match underway, Cena started off strongest until a blatant trip by Rockabilly but Cena flat on his face. The ref responded by ejecting Rockabilly from ringside, causing him to freak out. With Rockabilly gone, Helmsley took control as a result of the interference and kept Cena at bay with a methodical approach. A high knee looked to have won it at one point, save for a very close two count. Quickly he went for the Pedigree to finish things but Cena rolled out and caught Helmsley with a belly to belly suplex for another two. Cena was on a roll, only to be caught out by another high knee from Hunter. Sensing victory, Helmsley went to pick Cena off the mat only for Cena to quickly grab ahold of him and lift him into the Eighth Deadly Sin before driving him down to the mat for a three count. Cena is in the Rumble and one man who cannot be happy about that is Larry Zbyszko who swore not only to eliminate him from the match but to get manager Jonathan Coachmans hat back as he threw a hissy fit backstage. Cena didn't even need to do anything unnecessarily evil and Zbyszko is angered - he's REALLY gotten to him. [Royal Rumble Qualifier]: John Cena pinned Hunter Hearst-Helmsley with the Eighth Deadly Sin in 0:07:40. Rating: ** 1/4 Sean O'Haire vs Super Calo With Sean O'Haire taking his turn to be in action this week, it meant Brian Pillman was barred from the building this time out. One wondered whether the psychopath would actually heed these rules, but O'Haire at least went untouched by Pillmans hand on this night. O'Haire was up against Super Calo and truth be told, there was little doubt - Calo actually kicked out of a flying clothesline that has won a few matches for O'Haire so credit to him but he was down enough to get hit with the Seanton Bomb for what we could call a routine victory. The night wasn't over for O'Haire though, as Pillman appeared on the video wall having literally dragged a cameraman to the parking lot outside the arena (by his ankles, no less) and was stood by O'Haires own car. Smashing the window, he proceeded to pour petrol through the window onto the seats and then lit it on fire. O'Haire looked aghast, not knowing what to make of this one (and probably upset at this wanton destruction of his property). Luckily Pillman had drained the tank so the fire was easy enough to put out, but this one is certainly a write-off. O'Haire made his way to the back, and looked to be livid - the usually collected O'Haire is finally being pushed to breaking point by this maniac Pillman. Pillman meanwhile insisted on the video wall that he's doing all this just to prove how much he loves O'Haire and how destroying him when they get in the ring together is also a necessity of this. Sean O'Haire pinned Super Calo with the Seanton Bomb in 0:03:50. Rating: *** A day out with La Resistance We saw footage of La Resistance today at a major league baseball match as part of their appreciation of American culture. At first they seemed to be enjoying the action as well as their nachos (though the glasses of Chateau made the Americanism less than authentic). As the game drew on, La Resistance began to get bored and entered the field of play to suggest that instead they throw the ball into the middle of the field which they did, and then persuaded the players to throw metal balls at the baseball and try and get them as close as possible, simply as a "very minor technical adjustment". The players duly obliged, at which point Rene Dupree noted that baseball seemed very similar to their countries "Boules", causing he and Grenier to do the French Tickler. Yes, they played out the rest of the innings like this, and yes the Cubs still lost. Essa Rios vs Kurt Angle Kurt Angle was in action today but before his match, he had words for that "stinking communist bastard" Rhyno. After Rhyno had cost Angle a match last week, he warned Rhyno that coming within ten feet of the ring tonight would result in Angle snapping his ankle at Last Man Standing. Whilst it's doubtful that Rhyno chose not to make an appearance for THIS reason, Angle was at least able to go unhindered on a way to a standard win over Essa Rios, finishing with the Olympic Slam. Angle looked as good as ever and made some threatening remarks to the camera as to what he plans to do to that "disgusting foreign piece of human garbage" in two weeks time. Kurt Angle pinned Essa Rios with the Olympic Slam in 0:04:32. Rating: *** Jerry Lynn appears on the Kings Court The Kings Court today had a very special guest - the returning Jerry Lynn. First thing King Kanyon tried to probe is why Jerry Lynn walked out of Retribution last year after losing the title to Don Muraco, not to return for six months and insinuated that Lynn was in some way cowardly for it. Lynn quickly made Kanyon back down just by looking at him the wrong way, but none the less answered - he knew Muraco was not like anyone else he has ever faced in the DWF or anywhere else besides and in order for him to stand where he belongs at the top of the DWF as he deems is necessary, it would take some MAJOR re-evaluation of the situation. Raven had proven that beating Muraco isn't completely impossible and after falling so heavily at Retribution, he had to stand back and work out his next move from afar, and after six months of studying and careful planning, he felt now is the time to take Muraco on at his open challenge of 'anyone who he has never defended the title against'. Lynn rightly qualifies having never taken up a rematch option. Lynn then moved onto this particular challenge. Wanting Don Muraco at Last Man Standing, he now sees the perfect opportunity to strike with Muraco, perhaps like everyone else, starting to focus on Wrestlefest VIII in two months. King Kanyon beggared the question that how could Lynn know Muraco himself hadn't improved greatly in the past six months, particularly since he's appeared to become more and more dominant, defeating Raven several times despite having originally lost to him. Lynn simply stated that as the man who knows exactly what is right and wrong for the DWF and the wrestling world, he knows things like this and he knows now is the perfect time to beat Muraco and Muraco knows it. Just after Lynn left, while Kanyon was instructing the ring crew to remove his throne carefully from the ring, Chris Jericho stormed the ring and began trashing the place again. Kanyon swung at him with the sceptre but Jericho ducked and hit a back suplex that floored the king before he rolled out of the ring. Steve Corino (c) vs Lance Storm (television title) After his excellent victory last week over Billy Kidman, Lance Storm was granted a shot at Steve Corinos television title, a belt he has held for almost ten months now. Before the match, whilst Ken Shamrock was wishing Lance Storm the best of luck, Corino wasn't quite getting the same sense of loyalty from his tag team partner. Kidman said it wasn't that he didn't want Corino to win but that if he did, he'd have defeated Lance Storm right after Storm had beaten himself and that would make him look bad. Corino insisted it wouldn't make him look bad but Kidman remained unconvinced. Corino made his way out alone and he and Lance engaged in an excellent little match with several near falls and nobody gaining a decisive edge. It was Lance Storm who looked good in the closing stages until he missed a charge into the corner and hit the turnbuckles. Dazed he staggered into the centre where Corino lined up the Old School Expulsion. Corino took a little run-up but Storm had almost lured him into at and ducked out of the way. Quickly Corino was up but Storm grabbed him by the legs and took him down and locked on the Maple Leaf. The crowd rose sensing a possible title change. Corino looked dead and buried and was on the verge of tapping but was close enough to the ropes to just barely reach out and clasp a few fingers round the bottom rope. For a second, Storm thought he'd won it and the momentary lapse allowed Corino to his feet. Storm quickly came back over but Corino rammed his shoulder into Storms gut and just like that, Corino hit the Old School Expulsion out of nowhere. At this point, Kidman sprinted out and told him to stop, then looked torn as he wasn't sure what he should do. Corino, frustrated at Kidman worrying about nothing left the ring to calm him down before Kidman went off on Corino going back on his word of helping out his career and instead worrying about defending the TV title (which is actually what Corino had said his priority would be), Corino assured him this was just a routine title defense, but that title defense had gone to pot when he realised he'd been counted out. Storm half heartedly celebrated the win, knowing he wouldn't win the title but he could have lost it at the end and this way he's surely in line for a rematch. Lance Storm defeated Steve Corino by countout in 0:10:18. Rating: *** 1/4 (Steve Corino retained the Television Title.) Kidman and Corino take it backstage Corino meanwhile had to reassure Kidman AGAIN backstage as he insisted that he HAD to worry about defending the television title and went into a rant on how his having the belt was GOOD for Kidman because it meant Kidman was hanging with a winner which would make him look like a winner in the process. Kidman rightly noted he'd been world champion, twice, which alone should be enough to make him a winner and by the time the cameras left them, they were still babbling on. God knows whats going to settle Kidman and God knows what Corino is thinking when he comes up with this stuff. ROYAL RUMBLE QUALIFIER: La Parka vs Rockabilly Rockabilly was back for his Royal Rumble qualifier against La Parka and this time Helmsley was ordered away from ringside before the match even got underway to prevent any chance of a repeat of what happened in the John Cena match earlier. With Rockabilly frustrated, La Parka only served to wind him up further by strutting and playing air guitar in his face. Rockabilly responded by whacking him in the head as the match got underway. La Parka quickly came back with a springboard body press that got a close two and from there he looked the dominant man. Sensing trouble, Helmsley ran back out and jumped on the apron. With Rockabilly winded and dropping to his knees, La Parka sprang off of Rockabilly and dropkicked Helmsley right off the apron and into the guardrail. However as he leaned over to shake his knees at Hunter, Rockabilly ran in and hit the Fame-Asser for a very undeserved victory. Still, it does mean he'll see Brad Armstrong in the Rumble... [Royal Rumble Qualifier]: Rockabilly pinned La Parka Jr. with the Fame Asser in 0:02:59. Rating: * 1/2 Don Muraco responds Don Muraco meanwhile wasn't convinced of what Jerry Lynn had had to say, or at least he didn't show, when we saw him backstage with manager Jeff Hardy and business associate Alex Wright who was accompanied by bodyguard Ulf Herman. Muraco was adamant that Lynn was still not a contender but told the group that he would take him up on his challenge and register a third straight victory over Lynn. Alex Wright agreed, and pointed out how much gold was being paraded in the room (with Muraco, Wright and Hardy all holding the gold) before making reference to how easy he'd squashed "das schiesekopf" Brad Armstrong. Wright then offered Muraco his services and said he'd help out in weakening Lynn in time for Last Man Standing with a match tonight. Muraco and Wright both laughed before Wright made it clear that it was bodyguard Ulf Herman he was throwing into the mix to face Lynn. Herman looked a little surprised but Wright told him not to worry, noting he'd have his back for this one. Jody Fleisch vs Gene Snitsky A further effort to weaken Jody Fleisch by Matt Hardy saw him throw Fleisch up against Gene Snitsky. With Heidenreich having just secured a win over Jody, Hardy was looking to embarass him a second time in as many weeks. Before the match however, Hardy had the Che-Guevara style banners of himself lowered and made a speech to the fans about how, as the Cult of Personality leader of the DWF, he was bringing true prosperity to the company, starting with ridding us of Jody Fleisch. He also refered to himself as president, czar, mogul and caliph of the DWF. Sick-in-the-head fascist dictator might have described it best. To the match and Fleisch was clearly outnumbered with Hardy and Heidenreich on the outside. To make matters worse, Hardy ordered referee Jack Doan to not disquality Snitsky under any circumstances. At first, it was simply things like tripping Fleisch or distracting him. Fleisch struggled to hang on but he was going well and looked to have Snitsky when he sprang off the second rope and, wrapping his legs round Snitskys waist, rolled him up in a victory roll like move. Hardy outright jumped onto the apron and distracted the ref (like it mattered) while Heidenreich ran in and booted Fleisch in the head. At the next advantage Snitsky got, Heidenreich outright ran into the ring and clotheslined him in view of the official. Heidenreich then proceeded to use his "laser vision" to slice Fleisch up and celebrated his apparent death. Still, Fleisch came back and began wailing away on Snitsky. Snitsky then used his "fire breath" and with Fleisch a walking ball of fire, in his mind, he threw him from the ring. Hardy then orchestrated an attack on the outside where they dropped him over the guardrail and then, with Hardy pulling the mats back, Snitsky and Heidenreich hit a double powerbomb on what they thought was Jody Fleischs corpse. It was quite the nasty beatdown, and both men were counted out, as if the result was really worth a damn after this. Hardy certainly seemed convinced that he'd gotten what he wanted. Gene Snitsky and Jody Fleisch battled to a double countout in 0:09:12. Rating: *** ROYAL RUMBLE QUALIFIER: Low Ki & Kid Kash vs Doug Furnas & Phil LaFon Doug Furnas and Phil LaFon, as former world tag team champions were favourites against Low Ki and Kid Kash in the nights final Royal Rumble qualifier. After a fast paced start from the two cruiserweights, LaFon used his experience in tag teaming to hit a knee to the back of Low Ki from the apron to swing the tide. From there, Low Ki was cut off in the oppositions half of the ring and only for his resiliance was he able to hang on. All was going smoothly for the Can-Am duo until LaFon hooked up Low Ki for Furnas to hit his patented dropkick. When they missed, LaFon was knocked down and Low Ki clotheslines Furnas to the outside before making the tag. With the fresh Kid Kash in, he was a house on fire, knocking LaFon off his feet several times and then grabbing Doug Furnas as he made his way back onto the apron. LaFon saw the chance and hit a low blow. Furnas came back in and motioned to LaFon to try hooking him up again but LaFon was having none of it, insisting this time Furnas be the man to hold Kash up. Furnas obliged and incredibly LaFon went for a dropkick of his own, perhaps to prove a point, despite not being the least bit adept at the move in comparison to his partner. Kash saw it coming a mile off and Furnas took the dropkick to the gut and fell from the ring. Kash took advantage and hit the Money Maker on the distracted LaFon to take a surprise win. After the match, Furnas clearly wasn't happy with LaFon, but LaFon equally chastised Furnas for having made a similar blunder first, before they stormed off seperately. Things evidently aren't all that great in paridise. [Royal Rumble Qualifier]: Low Ki & Kid Kash (Low Ki and Kid Kash) defeated Doug Furnas & Phil Lafon (Doug Furnas and Phil Lafon) when Kid Kash pinned Lafon with the Money Maker in 0:12:21. Rating: **** 1/4 Jerry Lynn vs Ulf Herman So Jerry Lynn made his long awaited return in the ring against Ulf Herman in the nights main event but with Alex Wright at ringside, things would never be as simple as they should be. Any suggestions of ring rust were dispelled in the first minute of the match - Herman jumped Lynn at the bell but Lynn came back with a flurry of rights that rocked the big German before clotheslining him to the outside. Herman was definitely surprised at how quickly Lynn had come out of the block and looked a little shaken. Time for IC champ Alex Wright to give him a little pep-talk. Back in the ring, Lynn continued to be the dominant man but things took a turn for the worse when Lynn whacked him hard on the ankle with the whip and Herman took advantage for a while, beating down Lynn in the corner and using his strength and size advantage to wear him down. Lynn however didn't hold the world title for a record time for nothing and was soon back in it. With Herman rocked again, Lynn looked to be going for the Cradle Piledriver only for Alex Wright to run in just as Lynn was about to grab ahold of Herman. Lynn stopped and turned around in time. Wright wisely backed down, only for Herman to sneak up and hook Lynn from behind. Herman had him held pretty tight and Wright looked set to take a run up and nail Lynn with the whip, while the ref failed to get him to stop. Before he could take that run however, Brad Armstrong sprinted to the ring and intercepted him with The Rocks patented slap, slap, spit in hand, slap combination that rocked Wright. Brad was clearly on a mission for the beatdown he suffered two weeks ago and evidently that beatdown had failed to keep him out of the Royal Rumble match. Brad then chased Wright out of the ring and while this was going on, Hermans guard dropped and Lynn hit a stiff elbow to the side of the head to get out of the hold. Herman was dazed and stumbled right into a small package that got the win. Lynn didn't need to celebrate this one, he's more focused on other matters at hand now, in Don Muraco, but Muraco better bank on this match going longer than the slaughter at Retribution did. No doubt about it though, Jerry Lynn is well and truly back. Jerry Lynn pinned Ulf Herman after a small package in 0:14:19. Rating: ** 3/4 On a final note, there is no word on the condition on Rob Van Dam after last weeks injury, but rumour is that it's bad. More word on this when we have it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just a personal note - due to my slowness in doing DWF cards and such, this was the first Jerry Lynn match I'd sat down and done in over a year. Scary. |
91 | Posted on 08/22/06 at 23:39:12 Not that I'm one to bump my own topics, but am I the only one seeing a thousand Unright topics that haven't been posted in for months being thrust to the top of the page? Either way, I'd quite like to leave this on the first page long enough for someone to read it so - BUMP! |
Snabbit888 | Posted on 08/23/06 at 00:00:43 No, I see it too. No idea what that's about. *shrug* |
Snabbit888 | Posted on 08/23/06 at 00:23:54 LOL... left him prone to injury. Rockabilly rocks. Larry Z is mad that Cena stole the Coach's hat. It's not quite Edge/Booker feuding over shampoo, but it rules just as much. O'Haire easily defeats Super Calo. And then Pillman burns his car. How will O'Haire get home? :( Ha ha. Don't make a crack at my poor Cubs. Stupid Frenchies. Angle looks good in a victory over Essa Rios. I'm not sure Rhyno is going to have a chance at Last Man Standing. I like Lynn being back and he will be a serious threat to Muraco, but I don't see him winning. Right now I am having all kinds of troubles thinking of who could win the Rumble and be a legitimate threat. Muraco's beat Dynamite Kid and Rhyno and Raven thoroughly, and with Lynn getting the title shot here, he's not taking it at Wrestlefest. Hrm... bugger me stumped. Storm looked really good in beating Corino, even if it was by countout and Corino would have won if it weren't for Kidman. He got a good deal of offense in on the reigning TV champ. It's only a matter of time before Corino bitchslaps Kidman into oblivion. ACK! No La Parka in the Rumble? Now I love Rockabilly as much as the next guy, but where do we draw the line here? Muraco is confident, and honestly, if I were him, I'd be confident too. The guy has been successful. Almost too successful. This confidence may be what costs him. Heidenreich and Snitsky rule a lot. Poor Fleisch... laser vision AND fire breath? Who could withstand that!? Ki and Kash win, which I have no problems with. Furnas and LaFon should love, not hate. And only I am allowed to have partnerships be strained. I figure since I have about 8 teams at the moment having trouble, I've stolen that angle from being used in other circuits. :) The main was a little overbooked, but Lynn wins and that's what is important. Hrm... RVD's in bad shape. Like retired bad shape? |
americamamushi | Posted on 08/23/06 at 00:26:59 Cena is in and Larry is teh uber-pissed. I think Cena will be taking a trip to Larryland when all is said and done though, courtesy of one Mr. Zbyszko. Funny bit if La Resistance. Odd, but funny. ;) An expected win for Angle. Essa Rios... now theres a guy that doesn't get used much 'round these parts. Storm should get a re-match, hopefully with a solid ending. Maybe Kidman should worry less about Corino making him look bad if he had beaten Storm and more about making himself look bad because he got beaten by Storm. La Parka & Rockabilly. It's a tough choice for who I wanted to see win. COuldn't they just have had a dance off? ;) I'm thinking LaFon and Furnas aren't going to be making it much longer as a team if this keeps up. Although seeing the two against eachother isn't a bad vision of the future. Good win for Lynn. Lynn vs. Muraco should definitely rock the casbah. |
91 | Posted on 08/23/06 at 00:41:49 Don't make a crack at my poor Cubs. The fact you support the Cubs, which I didn't previously know, makes that all the funnier. Truth be told, I don't know much about baseball but I know there's a sort of in joke with the Cubs not winning the World Series for a couple of centuries. I like Lynn being back and he will be a serious threat to Muraco, but I don't see him winning. Right now I am having all kinds of troubles thinking of who could win the Rumble and be a legitimate threat. Muraco's beat Dynamite Kid and Rhyno and Raven thoroughly, and with Lynn getting the title shot here, he's not taking it at Wrestlefest. Hrm... bugger me stumped. It's fun to see you sweat. You're nicely circumnavigating the outcome there. Though I'm worried you'll be pissed when you it's revealed. And only I am allowed to have partnerships be strained. Oh... you might want to skip the next show then, it gets worse. Come to think of it, you might need to skip several shows. Essa Rios... now theres a guy that doesn't get used much 'round these parts. He doesn't get used much by me either, truth be told. He's only there because I had him from the start and I don't have the heart to fire the poor guy. After Jericho turned last year, he's the only guy to have been employed from day 1 uninterrupted without having changed allegiances. Other than Paul Roma, but he doesn't count. Couldn't they just have had a dance off? BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER! I missed the boat with that one. I could have had Rockabilly try and wuss out and challenge... ahh bugger. I think there's something for a future show there. |