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OSW: More Shows than WXO 8/26/06

MattHarmsPosted on 08/08/06 at 22:34:29

Kurt Angle lost a bet tonight with someone and he has been forced to watch the spectacle that is about to unfold tonight.

The Armstrong Brothers vs Fidel Sierra, Kurrgan, and Mike Enos

Six man tag team match with the Armstrongs getting off a few slick double team moves before Kurrgan put Scott through the mat with a vicious Sidewalk Slam to score the pin.

Kurrgan, Fidel Sierra and Mike Enos defeated
The Armstrong Brothers (Scott Armstrong and Brad Armstrong) and Steve Armstrong
when Kurrgan pinned Scott Armstrong with the Sidewalk Slam in 0:07:53.
Rating: * 3/4

The Fourth Reich is backstage. Alex Wright tells Heidenreich to calm down. Heidenreich yells he doesn't want to fight the Zombie tonight, because the Zombie reminds him of caskets and HE HATES CASKETS! Alex Wright talks about Jim Duggan, saying he is going to have Heidenreich plant his flag into Jim Duggan's country so the Fourth Reich can have the Television Title in a promotion that has no television. Alex Wright finishes off by saying something in German. Blitzrkieg just stood there during this interview, collecting his paycheck without any effort expended whatsoever.

Erik Watts and David Flair are backstage with Commissioner Mongo. They want big matches tonight. Mongo gives them it, it will be Watts against Stevie Ray and Flair against Dustin Rhodes later tonight. They whine saying their daddies would have given them a World Title shot by now and not make them from their worth.

Erik Watts vs Stevie Ray

Watts dropkicks Stevie Ray twice but Stevie Ray manages to survice that legendary move. Ricky Morton interferes for no reason whatsoever and Stevie Ray delivers the Slapjack on Erik Watts to score the pin. Watts throws a tantrum after the match.

Stevie Ray pinned Erik Watts with the Slapjack in 0:07:17.
Rating: 1/4*
[Ricky Morton interfered against Erik Watts.]

Your on the spot reporter Cheetum The Evil Midget is with Lex Luger. Lex will be making his debut next week. Cheetum asks Lex who he thinks he wants to face. "I DON'T KNOW!" He asks if Luger will be gunning for the OSW World Heavyweight Title. "I DON'T KNOW!!!" Cheetum asks if there is anything Lex does know. "I DON'T KNOW!" Cheetum knees Lex in the groin in frustration before throwing it back to ringside.

Sean Waltman is out, bitching about how everyone has called him the most ineffective champion ever. He says he should get the respect of the fans because he is Sean Waltman bitch and they are not. Waltman says it isn't his fault he had Elevated Liver Enzymes two weeks ago and last week, he wasn't running from the Zombie, he just had to go to the bathroom. Haven't any of you ever had to go to the bathroom. The fans chant "Go Back to Chyna!" to Waltman. Waltman says tonight he is going to face off against a man he feels is the #1 contender for the OSW World Heavyweight Title. And here comes...

OSW World Heavyweight Title:
Barry Horowitz vs Sean Waltman(c)

Horowitz kicks Waltman's ass throughout this match. Waltman manages to roll up Horowitz in a small package, pulling the tights, and exposing a bit more of Barry Horowitz to the world then we would have liked to see.

Sean Waltman pinned Barry Horowitz after a small package in 0:03:49.
Rating: * 1/2
(Sean Waltman retained the OSW World Heavyweight Title.)

The Zombie vs Heidenreich(w/Blitzkrieg and Alex Wright)

Heidenreich screams out in terror and flees towards the back right away, for the countout. The Zombie remains undefeated and Alex Wright enters the ring, attacking the Zombie but you can't kill the undead so he simply throws Blitzkrieg in the way of the Zombie. The Zombie drags Blitzkrieg to the back, to eat his brain.

The Zombie defeated Heidenreich by countout in 0:00:27.
Rating: -* 1/4

We have to unfortunately inform you that Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs Don Harris for later tonight has been cancelled because Jake passed out before he could even start his car to get to the airport this week. Thank you.

David Flair vs Dustin Rhodes

Dustin squashes David Flair like an insect, pinning him with the Bulldog. Their fathers main evented Starrcade twenty years ago and now they are wrestling each other in an insignifcant midcard match on an independent show. Yay!

Dustin Rhodes pinned David Flair with the Bulldog in 0:06:05.
Rating: 1/2*

The Insane Clown Posse, the OSW World Tag Team Champions, come out but out come the Rock N Roll Express to enact their INSTANT REMATCH CLAUSE~! So now we have a match for the OSW World Tag Team Titles

OSW Tag Team Title Match:
The Rock N Roll Express vs the Insane Clown Posse(c)

Ricky Morton plays himself as the ICP beat him down before he makes the tag to Gibson. Gibson enters the ring, hitting the crucifix on Shaggy and rolling him up to score the win. The Rock N Roll Express are for the second time OSW Tag Team Champions.

Rock'n'Roll Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) defeated
The Insane Clown Posse (Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J) when R. Gibson pinned
Shaggy after a crucifix in 0:06:50.
Rating: * 3/4
(Rock'n'Roll Express won the OSW Tag Team Titles.)

Ernest Miller vs the Maestro:

This feud continues as they have their usual, decent match. The Maestro let up the Cat on a couple of pinfalls and he paid for it. Feliner connects for the pin and the Maestro goes down. Ernest Miller celebrates but the Maestro attacks him after the match to continue the feud for another week.

Ernest Miller pinned The Maestro with the Feliner in 0:08:10.
Rating: ** 1/2

OSW Television Title Match:
Alex Wright(w/Heidenreich) vs Jim Duggan

Wright gets bounced around for a couple of minutes but comes back. Duggan then fights up from behind and speaking of coming from behind, Heidenreich enters the ring, clobbering Duggan for the inevitable disqualification.

Jim Duggan defeated Alex Wright by disqualification in 0:05:26.
Rating: * 1/2
(Jim Duggan retained the OSW Television Title.)
[Heidenreich interfered against Jim Duggan.]

Heidenreich and Alex Wright beat down Jim Duggan after the match.  Duggan is bent over by the ropes and Heidenreich preps himself to give Hacksaw the Michael Cole treatment but The Zombie runs out to make the save. The Zombie yells: "Brains, Brains, RARGH!" Wright and Heidenreich run in terror as the Zombie stands in the ring. Duggan pulls himself up, giving the Zombie the thumbs up. Duggan gets on the microphone, saying the Zombie may be dead, but at least he is an American. A tag team match is set up for next week involving the Zombie and Jim Duggan against Heidenreich and Alex Wright.

Cheetum is in the ring and he calls out his special guest, Kurt Angle. Angle enters the ring, as we are getting dangerously close to the time where this place turns back into a bingo hall. Cheetum asks Kurt Angle what he thinks about the show tonight. Angle says its trash, its a complete piece of garbage, he'd rather watch a WCW 2000 show booked by Kevin Sullivan then this. Thems fighting words, pal. Angle says all of the wrestlers are trash, especially El Dandy. Oh no, he didn't just doubt El Dandy. On cue, El Dandy comes out, looking ready to go. Angle beats up Cheetum to send a message to Dandy as Dandy enters the ring. The bell rings and we have a main event folks.

Kurt Angle vs El Dandy

El Dandy slaps on a side headlock right away and Angle screams in terror, submitting quickly. Dandy taught Kurt Angle that you shouldn't doubt El Dandy.

El Dandy made Kurt Angle submit to a side headlock in 0:00:26.
Rating: *

Next Week: Jake "The Snake" Roberts may actually show up. Heidenreich and Alex Wright vs the Zombie and Jim Duggan. Sean Waltman will be in the house, defending his OSW World Heavyweight Title against a former member of the New World Order. Be there!
91Posted on 08/08/06 at 22:58:23

How can you say Blitzkrieg didn't earn his paycheck, he got EATEN! I'd say that was good for the going rate of a middle-of-the-road cruiserweight.

All Lex Luger needs now is a tight OSW t-shirt to really show off his muscles and, if he can open the locker room door, he'll be well away.

Holy mid-card title defense Batman.

The mere mention of Starcade was funny. Now all we need is Paul Orndorff Jr. versus Baby T. and we're set.

Do I sense the tag titles changing hands... moderately frequently?

Kurt Angle should never... EVER (!!!!) doubt El Dandy. Did he get made to look pretty foolish.

Looking forward to seeing Jake next week. Possibly.