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ECW on Sci-Fi Network (7-11-2006)

The Bizz 2.0Posted on 07/06/06 at 06:54:59

(After the ECW ON SCI FI NETWORK intro video ran, we were joined:
by Paul Heyman in his office.)

Paul Heyman- July 2nd 2006, two ECW Extremists were pulled over
by Ohio Valley State Troopers for speeding. The two extremists
that were pulled over were none other than Sabu and Rob Van Dam.
After being pulled over for speeding, and were suspected of
carrying illegal substances in their car. They were charged with
posession, and were arrested and brought to the nearest prison
and were let out with bail money. As a result of this, RVD owning
the substances, Rob Van Dam will unfortunatly take the hardshot here,
and will be suspended for 30 days w/ no pay. (BOOS) Not my decision,
not mine. Whether RVD will keep the title or not is a completely
different story. Sabu on the other hand, will have to pay a fine
of $1000 dollars, and that is it. I will announce later tonight
whether or not the ECW Title will be vacated, or if RVD will
remain champion and earningly keep it throughout his "vacation..."
(SCREEN FADES)
----------------------------

(D-GENERATION X'S MUSIC PLAYS... AND THE CROWD BOOS LIKE CRAZY.):

Joey Styles- Oh god, I thought we would be done with the WWE.
Now they are forcing their way into ECW?

Taz- What the hell is this? (Two people walk out of the curtain,
to reveal its not really DX at all!) It says here Joey
that Stevie Richards is "Yawn Michaels" and The Blue Meanie is---
gah. Can I say this on TV? Yeah? Meanie is Cunter Hearst Helmesly!

(STYLES LAUGHS LIKE CRAZY AND CHH IS HANDED A MIC)
Cunter- My name-uh, is Cunter, Hearst-uh, Helmesly! (POP) I like to
walk around and take the title from deserving people, like Rob Van
Dam! But, to get on your good sides, I'm gonna do a bunch of
sophmoric pranks and make fun of myself! Like, Yawn, remember that
time that we said that Vince loves cocks? (Yawn- YEAH!!!) And-and
that time we said... that he loves DICKS! (Yawn- YEAH YEAH!)
We said some creative stuff on that show, its like every week we come up with something new!
And all of those boobies that were exposed during the BBQ in the
parking lot? (Yawn- I don't like that very much...) You guys
wanna see some boobies? (CROWD POP) Then I have got a treat
for all of you... (taps Yawn on the shouler) Hey look! It's Shane
Douglas!!! (Yawn Michaels runs in excitment into the crowd with his
back to Meanie). Yeah, now I can show you what you all wanna see...
titties! (Meanie lifts his shirt to reveal his man boobies, with
his nips covered in sharpie marker drawing of "B-X"! He puts his
shirt down and Yawn Michaels comes back.)

Yawn Michaels- Hey, Shane Douglas wasn't over there. Gosh...
OH! Hey... uh... oh. What do I say? I'm getting to old for
this stuff. Umm... yeah thats what I say. And if you guys
aren't down for whatever just happend... then we got two
words for ya... SUCK IT!!!

(Just then, all funny business turned into plain,
straight business when the tag team champs came out
for their first title defense against B-X.)
----------------------------
The Untouchables (Deuce Shade and Dice Domino) defeated
B-Generation X (Cunter Hearst Helmsly and Yawn Michaels)
when Deuce pinned Michaels with the Deuces Wild in 0:07:40.
Rating: * 1/2
(The Untouchables won the ECW Tag Team Titles.)

Match Recap- Eh. Stevie really did a good job with his gimmick
tonight, making this a pretty much dud match. Strong, crush
from Untouchables, but expectable.
----------------------------

Paul Burchill pinned Roadkill after a moonsault in 0:11:32.:
Rating: ***

Match Recap- Roadkill had quite the streak going on as he
beat Da Beast two weeks in a row, but he couldn't seem to pull
off a third tonight. Both men put up a good match, but it was
Burchill and his pirate tricks that got him the win tonight.
----------------------------

(New Jack is on the screen):
New Jack- Theres this foo' walkin' around EC Dub' actin' like he's
the next hardcore ni**ah to walk out into the ring, and act all
ruthless and ****. No mothah fuc**h can take my place, no dumb
ni**ah can replace me. Beast, your ass is mine.
----------------------------
(We are once again in Heyman's locker room with the boss himself.)
Paul Heyman- After over a week of thinking the results the decision
I am about to make, I have thought it out carefully. On one side,
we have "keep the title on RVD". This will work out mostly for RVD,
and RVD only. No other Extremists will get a chance to fight Rob Van
Dam. 30 days w/o working towards a world title match? The other hand
is strip the title off of RVD. (MIXED REACTION) A decision that would
probably be best for the wrestlers and the company itself. (PAUSES)
As of July 11, 2006, the ECW World Title is vacant and is stripped
off of Rob Van Dam. (SCREEN FADES)
----------------------------

Balls Mahoney pinned Ken Doane with the Nutcracker Suite in 0:12:03.:
Rating: ** 1/2

Match Recap- Balls Mahoney looks to make a legend out of Doane
tonight, hoping for a great match, but what looked to be a squash
the whole match, turned out with a surprising ending. Doane
had Balls in the palm of his hand (I HAD TO DO IT), but
Balls sneaked in a quick Nutcracker Suite for the bad-ass win.
After the match... Doane asked for a microphone.
----------------------------
Ken Doane- You know, I keep on being the good guy. I keep on
showing people that I have heart and the respect I give
at the end of matches I lose. But it seems that the more
commitment and dedication I show to this company, the less
it starts to care about me. They're starting to think, "Hey,
he's happy with the company, so we don't have to worry
about him leaving. Let's give someone else a chance...". No way.
I came to ECW because it had oppurtunity written all over,
and I'll be damned if its going to be taken away from me.
----------------------------

(PROMO AIRS ON SUPER CRAZY "RETURNING HOME" IN TWO WEEKS):
----------------------------
(CM PUNK COMES DOWN TO THE RING WITH A TOMMY DREAMER SHIRT ON
WITH A BIG "X" ACROSS IT, HE WALKS INTO THE RING AND ASKS FOR
A MICROPHONE)

CM Punk- Two nights ago, I beat ECW's legend Tommy Dreamer in a match
of his own. I have to admit, it wasn't an easy task, but I managed
to get through it, like I always do. I just wanted to throw this
out there, RVD, Sabu, good luck with everything. Its just to bad
you aren't more like me. 18 Grams of mowie-wowie? (ASS-HOLE CHANT
STARTS) But thats not why I'm here... not at all. There is actually
a very good reason why I am here in this ring. You see,
over the past few weeks, I've been building up for the big moment.
I've beaten all of the real challenges thrown my way, and the only
loss I had was due to interference. It was originally going to
be me and Rob Van Dam for the ECW World title tonight, but
since him and Sabu decided to go drug out and be dumbasses, I am
going to settle for the next best thing. Masato Tanaka, get your
ass down here!

(TANAKA SLOWLY WALKS DOWN TO THE RING AND STEPS FACE TO FACE
WITH PUNK. SHOVES WERE EXCHANGED, AND A PUNCH WAS LANDED
AND AN ECW REFEREE CAME DOWN TO THE RING AND SIGNALED FOR THE
BELL, WE GOT AN ECW TV TITLE MATCH GOING ON RIGHT NOW!)
----------------------------

CM Punk pinned Masato Tanaka after hitting him with the ring bell in 0:12:44.:
Rating: **** 1/4
(CM Punk won the ECW Television Title.)
[Sabu interfered against Masato Tanaka.]

Match Recap- Anti-climactic right? Going from the last segment to this
one... eh, I don't care. But Sabu helping CM Punk win the TV Title?
What the hell is going on here? Has Sabu worked out some kind of
alliance with Punk? Am I ever going to stop asking questions? Yes.
Punk looked-semi shocked with Sabu's aid, and the two stared each
other down. Punk stared at Sabu with a smile on his face, as Sabu had
a dead-serious look going on. What the hell is up between these two?
(SCREEN FADES)

HugeRockStar760Posted on 07/06/06 at 08:10:25

LMAO @ the BWO parody of DX. "YAWN MICHAELS", and "CHH". If this WWE version of ECW wasn't so concerned about unleashing a new breed of hosses, this seems exactly like something Paul Heyman would've booked if he had any power.

And glad to see CM Punk poking fun of Rob Van Dam for his pot hijinks. Eh, maybe RVD's pot addiction will come in handy for a future feud. CM Punk certainly isn't at a loss for potential feuds considering ECW is full of drunks, druggies, and wife beaters.

I hope Heyman isn't going to go sportz entertainment and become an evil authority figure.
The Bizz 2.0Posted on 07/07/06 at 23:15:42

www.ECW.com update

-Rob Van Dam has been suspended for 30 days as of July 11th, and his soonest possible return to national TV is August 15th.
=======================
-Sabu has been fined $1000 dollars for the incident involving Rob Van Dam.
=======================
-Paul Heyman has announced that next week, there will be a Triple Threat Elimination Match for the ECW World Title involving 3 of the most deserving men.

1. Kurt Angle- He showed inscredible heart in his performance against Van Dam and will get a second chance to hold ECW gold for the very first time.

2. Big Show- He may have been the first man out of the 3-Way Dance at Heatwave, but after the 3rd man, we couldn't think of a better person to give the spot to.

3. Sandman- Coming fresh off of a strong feud with the very talented Nick Dinsmore (and sending Dinsmore out of action for the next couple weeks), Sandman can get back to what he wants, the journey for ECW Gold.

I got a chance to talk to Heyman and asked why he chose the three stated wrestlers. "Besides Rob Van Dam, I really can't think of three people who have proved themselves more than these three men during the short life of the new ECW. They will get a chance to show the wrestling world what they are made of. We will have a new ECW Champion next week, I can promise you that."
MatteusPosted on 07/10/06 at 07:02:00

Good to see you're going along with the RVD and Sabu real-life drama. It'll be interesting to see where this goes to.

Untouchables retain, but the BX parody was excellent. Personally, I hope you stay with this at least as long as WWE does. There's been so much to make fun of with their handling of that so far.

Burchill in ECW... hmmm, I'll reserve judgment for now. But the New Jack and Gaspard stuff could be good as long as Da Beast doesn't get buried. And ye, I'll keep calling him Shad Gaspard b/c that's an awesome name :P

Tough choice, truthfully. But ethically, and I suppose storyline-wise, that was the right thing to do. Now if Van Dam gets the strap back whn he comes back, that'll defeat the purpose of everything (just like in the real-life situation)...

Good promo after the Balls win over Doane. Not sure where it's going but kudos for giving him something to do.

Punk with the dynamic promo before his match, and then he WINS the TV title from Tanaka? Ouch... not much faith in the import, eh? Punk as champ rocks MY socks, though... so I'm all for it.

Nice show, as always! Keep it up!