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Superstars of Wrestling - Week Five

jesse_ewiakPosted on 04/01/06 at 08:55:20


- Show opens with Ahmed in the back, with a helpful graphic telling us this was taped 'last week,' right after the big main event last week. Ahmed calls out 'Quake in his subtle-challenged way and ends by telling 'Quake that 'the only Richer Scale you're gonna' worry about is the one when I hit ya' with the Plunge!' Hey, it made some sense.

- Goes back to the announcers, who hype the big main event and the fact that both Goldust and The Warrior have been barred from the building to stop any more carnage. Also, the qualifiers get hyped and speaking of which..

[Qualifier]:
Sgt. Slaughter made Yoshi Kwan submit to the Camel Clutch in 0:16:07.
Rating: ***

- Good match, especially considering the talent involved. Slaughter seemed to have his working boots on, and Kwan was willing to take a beating. Kwan had the submission move locked on, but Slaughter got to the ropes, Hulked up, and got the Camel Clutch on in short order to advance into the heavyweight tournament!

- Backstage where we see The Rogeaus run into Shinobi & Holly. Jokes about 'freaky men in masks and race car drivers, what is wrestling coming to?' Yes, The Rogeaus said this. The gimmicks with talent take offense, and we have a match for later tonight!

The Young Stallions defeated The Bushwhackers when Roma pinned Luke after
a crucifix in 0:13:07.
Rating: **

- OK match, basically an extended squash as The 'Wackers never really had control of the match except for a few small comedy spots. Luke had Roma up for a Samoan Drop, Powers came in illegally and dropkicked him and the pin was made. Young Stallions hit the road after the match, as the Bushwackers fume in the back.

[Qualifier]:
Nikita Koloff pinned Tiger Jeet Singh with the Russian Sickle in 0:04:20.
Rating: * 1/4

- Koloff came out to 'God Bless America' this time, and actually got a decent pop. Total squash, as Koloff basically threw the ancient Singh and got the pin with the Russian Sickle in short order.

- Hey, it's the Honky Tonk Man. Sneaking up on Jim Duggan who is getting something to drinlk. Duggan turns around and...KABONG! The Usual Idiots hit the scene, but it's too late as Honky's long gone.

Shinobi and Spark Plugg Holly defeated The Rougeau Brothers when Shinobi defeated J. Rougeau by disqualification in 0:13:23.
Rating: **

- Nothing special, but nothing too revolting either as it was a basic back and forth formula tag match. Shinobi got the highspot of the night award with an Asai Moonsault to the outside on Jacques, but the Rogeaus used their veteran skills (read: interference) to gain back the advantage. But, the got caught by the ref trying to use brass knux and were disqualified. Then, they get dropkicked out of the ring by Shinobi & Holly. Overall, not their best night.

- Honky Tonk Man comes out, cocky as hell when the Sousa hits the PA and Duggan comes out pissed with a 2x4! Batten the hatches, we've got a pier six brawl!

[Qualifier]:
Jim Duggan pinned Honky Tonk Man with the Old Glory in 0:06:44.
Rating: * 1/4

- Short, not horrible and effective. See HTM. See HTM take a beating. See HTM cheat to get back the momentum. See HTM miss the SR'n'R and get hit with Old Glory.

- Dennis Condrey came out with Paul E, who called out Steele. After a bit of comedy, including Steele trying to eat Paul's mobile phone, the challenge was made. Condrey versus Steele, with Dennis getting a tag title shot next week if he wins. Steele agreed. Then got Pearl Habored. Because it's Dennis Condrey and Paul E. Dangerously.

Dennis Condrey pinned George Steele with the Flap Jack in 0:18:41.
Rating: -* 1/2
[Paul E. Dangerously interfered against George Steele.]

- Hmm...let's see here. Condrey is not Ric Flair. Thus, he can't have a good match with a broom. Or Steele, whichever is worse. Bad, bad match fulled with lots of restholds and brawling. Decent heat though as Paul E. distracted pinfalls by Steele, and Condrey used exhaustive cheating techniques. At the finish, the ref was distracted by Paul E. again, Condrey used the low blow as Steele went over to attack Dangerously, and got the pin with the Flap Jack. But who will be Condrey's partner?

Ahmed Johnson pinned Earthquake after a flying clothesline in 0:16:13.
Rating: ** 1/2

- Good match as it played to Ahmed's strengths. Mainly, it was mostly brawling and Ahmed kicking ass. 'Quake cheated and got some decent moments of advantage, but they weren't too often as well, 'Quake is slow. Big moments for the Earthquake was a looooooong bear hug and the Earthquake Splash which Ahmed only got out of because he got his foot under the rope. Big brawl to finish the match as Ahmed somehow powerslammed the monster, then hit the flying clothesline for the win to the cheers of the crowd!

- However, the show wasn't over. Ahmed celebrated and was on the turnbuckles, when he was attacked from someone running in from the crowd! One bulldog later and slither later, the crowd realized it was Goldust, in street clothes, but hidden so they wouldn't see his 'real' identity. As the crowd booed, Goldust got the mic and challenged Ahmed to meet him next week in a match, 'blood for blood.'

NEXT WEEK!

Four more huge matches to determine who will get into the Heavyweight title tournament!

Typhoon v. Virgil
Koko B. Ware v. Jacques Rogeau
Earthquake v. Shinobi
The Ultimate Warrior v. Paul Roma

In addition, TEAM USA had made a challenge to THE HONKY TONK MAN and he has accepted with his tag partner...the mysterious TIGER JEET SINGH!

Also, the SoW World Tag Team Champions GEORGE STEELE & EL GIGANTE will face DENNIS CONDREY and a MYSTERY PARTNER! The only thing Condrey has revealed is that the man is a former World Tag Team Champion in another organization!

Finally, in the huge main event. GOLDUST and AHMED will face off one more time...in a FIRST BLOOD match!
CrplsPosted on 04/02/06 at 11:05:07

Yoshi Kwan totally should've been the first champ.