FORUM HOME > TNM Circuits > TNM Circuits
WWL Monday Night Action: 6/13/05

AllPowerfulGARTHPosted on 03/16/06 at 03:29:39

Dear Lord! I'm back! I can't promise that I'll be posting these cards on a consistent basis, but by golly, I'll try.


Video package...you know you missed it. It's set to "Action" by Powerman 5000, in case you forgot, or just didn't care to begin with.

GB: Good evening to you, WWL fans! Here for another exciting edition of Monday Night Action, I'm Garth Bishop, alongside the Honky Tonk Man!
HTM: And it's shaping up to be an exciting night, as we've got a heck of a series of matches on tap! Of course, everyone should know by now that the king of cool himself, Carlito, will team with the monster Gene Snitsky to battle Shawn Michaels and a partner of his choice!
GB: Carlito has been getting the better of Shawn Michaels over the last few weeks, and last week he set loose the very dangerous Gene Snitsky on the Heartbreak Kid, so you've got to think Shawn is looking for payback. But in the immortal words of every infomercial ever aired, THAT'S NOT ALL!
HTM: That's right! Paul Heyman himself has set up a series of matches for the three individuals who will battle for the WWL World Heavyweight Title in two weeks at Licence to Kill!
GB: A series of warmup matches, if you will - JBL takes on Rey Mysterio, the Big Show battles Jeff Jarrett, and in a non-title matchup, Chris Jericho will go one-on-one with Matt Hardy!
HTM: We've already got two number-one contenders for the WWL World Heavyweight Title, but we're about to name the number-one contender for another title - it's Fatal Four-Way action to determine who will receive a Cruiserweight Title shot at Licence to Kill, and it's right now!
GB: Let's get down to the ring.


For a shot at the WWL Cruiserweight Title:
Dean Malenko vs. Chris Sabin vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki

Jamie Noble declared last week that with Juventud Guerrera out of the picture, it was his time to compete for the Cruiserweight Title. But words (and a victory over Funaki) do not a number-one contender make, and if Noble wants that shot, he's got his work cut out for him tonight. Dean Malenko has been looking for an opportunity to stop being so boring, Chris Sabin is working to be noticed as a contender, and Funaki would surely like another shot at the Cruiserweight Title, held by his friend Ultimo Dragon. This one could go any way.

Funaki is the last to enter, and the instant he does, Malenko and Noble go right for him, obviously thinking he is the weakest link in this match. Noble and Malenko fire off on Funaki, shoving each other out of the way when one gets too close. Sabin contemplates just letting them do that, but then he gets bored and goes after Noble. Sabin goes at it with Noble on one side of the ring while Malenko tries to work the arm of Funaki. Funaki comes back and lights up Malenko with chops. We get a few minutes of fairly generic (but no less exciting!) cruiserweight action. Okay, some of it isn't super-exciting, thanks to Malenko's unwillingness to stomp or punch - it's all working the arm, leg or neck. Eventually, we get our first fun spot as Funaki charges at Noble and Malenko, but they both backdrop him over the top to the floor. Malenko immediately goes for some sort of armbar on Noble, but Noble shoves him into Sabin, who drops him with a savate kick. Malenko's down for now, so Noble and Sabin hook it up for a little while.

Noble and Sabin have themselves a fun little scuffle for a short while - and it's about this time that Ultimo Dragon appears at the top of the entrance ramp, scoping out the competition. The Noble-Sabin battle ends when Noble goes for an overhead backbreaker of some sort, but Sabin counters into a DDT. Sabin takes a second to shake out the cobwebs, then covers, but only gets two. He picks Noble up and goes for the Future Shock, but Noble fights out with knees, then counters into the Paydirt. Noble's got it locked in tight, but Funaki is in to break it up. Funaki gets some shots in on Noble, then ducks a Noble clothesline and hits a facebuster. Funaki sets Noble up for the Tornado DDT, then comes off the turnbuckle with it, but Noble catches him momentarily and holds him up in the air. Malenko gets up and stumbles over, attempting to pull Funaki off, but Funaki counters and nails a double DDT. That gets a pretty good pop. Funaki goes for a cover on Noble, which Sabin breaks up. Now Sabin and Funaki tussle for a little bit, while Noble and Malenko, both dazed, roll out of the ring. After a series of cruiserweight moves and quick covers, both Funaki and Sabin seem to notice Noble and Malenko getting up outside the ring. Sabin whips Funaki toward them, and Funaki dives through the ropes onto both heels. Not to be outdone, Sabin waits as the three start to get up, then gets a running start and launches himself over the top with a somersault plancha. Everyone is wiped out now.

Sabin is up first, and he grabs Malenko and tosses him in the ring. Sabin covers, but Malenko's had enough time to recover and he kicks out. Sabin fires off on Malenko, and while Malenko briefly manages to slow the pace down with an arm wrench, then a takeover into a short arm scissors, Sabin fights out. Malenko isn't able to slow Sabin's momentum a second time, and Sabin gets him up onto his shoulders and CRADLE SHOCK. Sabin covers, one, two, broken up by Noble. Noble beats up Sabin, and after a quick series of reversals, manages to lock in the Trailer Hitch. Before Sabin can tap, Funaki comes off the second rope with a kneedrop to Noble's face. Funaki covers Noble, who kicks out. Funaki hits Noble with some chops, then an enzuigiri. Before he can go for the pin, Sabin nails him with a dropkick. Sabin goes up to the top, but Malenko is up and he shoves Sabin off to the outside, where his face connects with the announce table. Funaki tries to catch Malenko off-guard with a spinning heel kick, but Malenko catches him and spikes him onto the canvas. Malenko smoothly transitions into the Texas Cloverleaf. Malenko has the hold in tight, but Funaki isn't willing to give up (thinking, presumably, that he will be rescued), and the crowd starts in on Malenko with the "boring" chants. Malenko isn't able to keep his composure, and he starts yelling at the crowd to shut up. That throws him off his game, and he isn't ready when Noble nails him in the back. Noble quickly tosses Malenko over the top, causing him to land on Sabin, who was just getting back to his feet. Funaki tries to stagger to his feet, and Noble clocks him with a quick kick to the midsection and a tiger driver. Noble covers to get the hard-earned three and shot at the Cruiserweight Title at Licence to Kill.

Number-One-Contenders-Four Corners Match:
Jamie Noble defeated Dean Malenko, Chris Sabin and Funaki when Noble pinned
Funaki after a tiger driver in 0:12:43.
Rating: ** ¾

Noble looks over at Ultimo Dragon on the entrance ramp and gives the universal signal for "I want the belt." Dragon acknowledges him and walks to the back.


Coming back from commercial, John Bradshaw Layfield is getting ready for his match against Rey Mysterio. The locker room door is heard opening.

JBL: That you, Jeff?

Chris Jericho walks onscreen. The crowd reaction is mixed. JBL scowls.

CJ: Not quite, junior. Though "Jeff" is one of the fake names I use with the ladies to avoid a costly paternity suit.
JBL: That's hilarious, Jericho. Now, why don't you tell me what you want, or just get the hell out of here?
CJ: Geez, Jubble, who pissed in your Cheerios this morning? And how much does she charge?

JBL starts to get up.

CJ: Whoa, whoa, slow down there, junior. Y2J has not graced you with his presence for a fight. I'll be getting that chance at Licence to Kill, remember? I just came by to wish you good luck.
JBL: Good luck?
CJ: Absolutely. I mean, god knows Paul Heyman picked a heck of an opponent for you. I just wouldn't want you to lose to that 100-pound action figure and be so utterly humiliated as to not make it to our glorious matchup scheduled for two weeks from now.
JBL: You know, Jericho, it's funny that you say that, because if I'm not mistaken, Rey Mysterio just about took that WWL World Heavyweight Title of yours away from you last week. In fact, SOME people - and I'm not naming names, of course - but SOME people would say that, had Jeff Jarrett not showed up when he did, you might very well have walked out of that arena without your precious title.
CJ: Never! That nasty hobbit wanted the Precious, but we showed him, didn't we?

Jericho pets the belt.

JBL: But Chris, I appreciate you wishing me good luck. And I'd like to wish you the same. Because if you lose to Matt Hardy tonight...wow. You'll probably be too busy crying into your vile, urine-like Canadian beer to lose the belt to me at Licence to Kill.
CJ: Well, we'll just see about that. It sure would be a SHAME if SOMEONE - and I'm not going to name names - were to show up during your match tonight and cause you to lose to the Midget King himself, WOULDN'T it?
JBL: Alright, Jericho, let's cut the crap. I don't like you, and you don't like me.
CJ: I like you, John.
JBL: You do not.
CJ: Okay, you got me.
JBL: But as much as we dislike each other, I think we can agree that there's someone we both like a lot less - that 500-pound lumbering idiot, the Big Show.
CJ: Well, I can't deny that you have the intellectual advantage over the Big Slow. And the aromatic advantage. Really, have you ever smelled that guy before he's had a shower? It's BRUTAL.
JBL: My point is that you and I have a date for Licence to Kill, and ours could be a fantastic championship match. But only if a certain 500-pound element is left out of it. Do you see where I'm going with this?
CJ: I do. And let me tell you something, I was having the very same idea myself. You and I can mix it up later - but tonight, we have an opportunity for...mutual gain. Tell you what. You go out and have your match with Jay McCereal, and I'll go out and thrash the ever-living HELL out of Fat Tardy. And then, maybe you and I can meet up again...say...around main event time.
JBL: Sounds good to me.

JBL extends his hand. Jericho ignores it and holds his up. JBL, after a moment of trepidation, delivers a half-hearted hi-five.

CJ: COWABUNGA!

Jericho wanders off. JBL is left shaking his head.


John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Jeff Jarrett and Rey Mysterio have been having issues over the last few weeks, and last night on Rush, Jarrett had some words for Mysterio. The commentators inform us that on June 26 at Licence to Kill, Jeff Jarrett will go one-on-one with Rey Mysterio. Jarrett is out for this match, but the referee tells him to bugger off before the match even starts. Jarrett protests loudly, but it doesn't do him any good - the referee is insisting that he not get involved. This one's going to be mano a mano. Ostensibly.

JBL goes right after Rey right from the start, but Rey is quick and he evades JBL's first few clubbing blows. After dodging those first few shots with evasive maneuvers, Rey starts going on the offensive a little more, countering into pinning combinations like sunset flips and crucifixes. JBL, of course, kicks out of these pinning combinations, but he can't seem to get a good shot in on Rey. Eventually, a spinning headscissors sends JBL tumbling out of the ring. JBL is angry, but he shakes it off and re-enters. Rey tries to go back to his method of avoiding everything, but JBL eventually hits a few clubbing shots to the back, followed by a big shoulderblock to knock Rey down. JBL covers for two. JBL manages to keep Rey grounded for a little bit by using his size advantage of over 100 pounds.

JBL may have the advantage, but Rey is never one to stay down. JBL pounds on Rey and pummels him in the corner. JBL hits a backbreaker, but that only gets two. A suplex gets the same. After a brief dispute with the referee, JBL presses Rey over his head, but Rey counters into an armdrag. JBL charges and eats another armdrag. Rey hammers on JBL and goes for a whip, which gets reversed. Rey ducks a clothesline, but runs right into a big boot. JBL is proud of that and goes for the cover, but that's not going to do it. JBL scoops Rey up with one arm, then delivers a Last Call that launches Rey across the ring. JBL covers again, but he waited too long again and Rey kicks out. A little more hammering of Rey ensues. Finally, JBL sets Rey up for a powerbomb, but Rey fights out with shots to the face, then comes down on JBL in a seated senton. Rey reaches back for the leg, but he isn't able to hook it before JBL kicks out. As JBL gets up, Rey runs to the ropes, springs off and gets JBL with a cross-body block for another two. JBL pokes Rey in the eye as he gets up and comes off the ropes for the Clothesline From Hell, but Rey runs under it, comes off the ropes and delivers his wheelbarrow-lift-into-bulldog move that I don't know the name of. JBL's been knocked loopy, and as he gets up, Rey nails a springboard dropkick that sends JBL into 619 position. Rey calls for the 619, but JBL has got ahold of the ref's shirt and he drags him over to protect himself. Rey goes to bounce off the ropes, but Jeff Jarrett is here out of nowhere and he pulls down the top rope, causing Rey to splatter on the outside. Jarrett picks up Rey and hurls him headfirst into the ring steps. Jarrett then scampers off. JBL gets off the ropes, rolls out of the ring and grabs Rey, who has been knocked for a loop. JBL tosses Rey in the ring and signals for his finisher. Rey staggers to his feet and JBL obliterates him with the Clothesline From Hell. This one's over.

John Bradshaw Layfield pinned Rey Mysterio with the Clothesline From Hell in
          0:08:08.
Rating: ***

As JBL leaves the ring, celebrating his win, Rey starts to pick himself up, fire in his eyes. He's going to be gunning for Jeff Jarrett for sure, now.


Coming back from commercial, we've got some chairs set up in the ring, and a carpet too, with a snake pattern on it. There is also some sort of stand set up with a cloth thrown over it. The crowd is abuzz - the first edition of the Snake Pit was promised, but what exactly does that mean? That question is answered when "Snake Bit" cues up and out from the back comes none other than Jake "The Snake" Roberts! The crowd pops big as the wrestling legend makes his way down to the ring, dressed in loose-fitting clothing and looking sober, if a little tired. Jake steps into the ring and is handed a microphone.

JR: Welcome to the Snake Pit.

The crowd pops big again. There was the implication that Jake would be here to host this show, but Jake doesn't strike as the sort of guy you can count on nowadays, so actually seeing him is pretty cool for the fans.

JR: Now, I've got a guest to interview in a minute here, but before I do that, I've got a thing or two to say. I'm not gonna sit here and BS you. I know that I've developed a...reputation in this business over the last few years. And I'm pretty sure that most of you know what I'm talking about, so I don't have to go into details. But I'm going to ask all of you to make an agreement with me. For my part, I will come to this ring every week to interview the best in the WWL, and every week, I promise to stay in the kind of condition you people deserve - Clean. And. Sober. And for your part, I expect each and every one of you to treat me with respect. Because if any of you - or any of those competitors back in the locker room - decides to disrespect the Snake Man...I will not hesitate to start handing out DDTs.

Another pop.

JR: And just in case that doesn't convince you, I do have another tool at my disposal.

Jake whips the cover off the stand in the ring, revealing a large glass case containing an enormous python, which garners another pop.

JR: Ladies and gentlemen, at this time, I introduce to you my guest on tonight's Snake Pit: Diamond Dallas Page!

DDP makes his way down to the ring to cheers, then enters the ring and is handed a mic.

DDP: Jake, before we do this thing, I just want to say that I've grappled with the demons just like you have, and if you're serious about staying clean and sober, then I've got nothing but respect for ya, my man.
JR: I appreciate it, DDP. And I've got nothing but respect for you. But I've got to say it - ever since you lost to Chris Jericho at You Only Live Twice, we haven't seen much of you. DDP, where do you go from here?
DDP: Jake, the fact of the matter is, at You Only Live Twice, I lost. I could dwell on just HOW I lost, but I'm not gonna do that. Instead, I'm gonna say this. Chris Jericho may be defending the WWL World Heavyweight Title against JBL and the Big Show at Licence to Kill, and that's fine. But if that slimebag Jericho thinks - just for a SECOND - that I'm finished with him, then he's got another thing coming.
JR: That may be. But my question for you, DDP, is what are you going to do about it?
DDP: I've gotta be honest with ya, Jake. Right now, I don't know just what I'm going to do about it. Me and Chris Jericho, we're going to tangle. And it's not going to be long before that belt moves from his waist to mine. I'll tell you this - it won't be long before that jagoff is going to find himself in the ring with me again, and when he does, he'd better hope and pray that I let him leave it by his own power.
JR: So, you say it won't be long until Chris Jericho finds himself putting the belt on the line against you once again?
DDP: That's assuming he doesn't lose it to JBL or the Big Show at Licence to Kill. But he and I ARE going to be face-to-face right here in this ring sooner than he thinks.
JR: You don't know how right you are.
DDP (confused): I'm sorry...what did you say?
JR: I said you don't know how right you are. See, DDP, before I came out here, I had a few words with Paul Heyman. And he informed me that the WWL World Heavyweight Title match at Licence to Kill will have a special guest referee.

DDP smiles broadly.

JR: And that special guest referee will be none other than Diamond Dallas Page!

The crowd pops big.

JR: So tell me, DDP...what do you think of that?
DDP: Jake, there is NOTHING I'd like better than to force that sneaky bastard Jericho to play by the rules. I'll do what is expected of me and call it right down the middle, but if he decides to take some liberties, Chris Jericho is going to FEEL...THE...BANG!

DDP gives the sign for the Diamond Cutter as his music cues up and we go to commercial.


Back from commercial, we see the Law Firm of Mason, Martin & Bloom making their entrance. They're set to face the Dudley Boyz here, but first, we understand there's some sort of disturbance backstage, so let's cut there...

We head backstage to see Chris Jericho pounding on the door to Paul Heyman's office.

CJ: HEYMAN! Open this door! I know you're in there! What the hell do you think you're doing making Diamond Dennis the special guest referee for my match at Licence to Kill? I thought a special guest referee was supposed to be IMPARTIAL! Diamond Dennis won't be impartial! He hates my guts because he can't beat me and because I'm 23 gazillion times sexier and more super-sweet than he is! It's bad enough that one of my opponents is already the size of like, three men and one midget! Open up! Or there will be consequence and repercussions! Do you hear me? CONSEQUENCES AND REPERCUSSIONS!

Jericho gives the door a hard kick, but no response.

CJ: OOOOOH! YOU WASCAWWY WABBIT! I'll be back, Heyman!

Jericho stomps off. A few seconds later, Paul Heyman opens the door, iPod in hand, with headphones on. He looks around, then shakes his head.

PH: I could have sworn I heard something.

Heyman goes back into his office. And we go back down to the ring.


Law Firm of Mason, Martin & Bloom vs. Dudley Boyz

This is a rematch from You Only Live Twice and the semifinals of the WWL Tag Team Title Tournament. The Dudley Boyz have been granted a rematch with the Lords of the Dance for the tag titles, and they're looking to use this matchup as a stepping stone to that one, but the Law Firm are a couple of tough characters and they won't make it easy. Right from the start, it's clear this one is going to be a brawl. Bubba Ray Dudley and Matthew Bloom start out, and a slugfest quickly ensues, drawing D-Von Dudley and Andrew Martin into the ring. The referee is able to separate them, though, and when Bubba and Bloom lock up again, we have a slightly more civil affair. Not that isn't still a big brawl, but the ref isn't having to work quite as hard.

In a match with four individuals as mean as the Dudley Boyz and the Law Firm, you're not going to see one side get a pronounced advantage too often, and as such, the opening minutes of this contest see the Dudleyz and the Law Firm trade the advantage without either side really getting a big one. Finally, after a distraction from Clarence Mason, Bloom manages to drop D-Von with a big bicycle kick. Bloom tags out to Martin, and the two of them double-team D-Von for a while. Generic pounding is the majority of it, though there is the occasional high-impact move. Martin gets a full nelson slam for a very long two, and a big splash from Bloom requires a run-in from Bubba to break up the pin. The Law Firm send D-Von off the ropes and they go for a double clothesline, but D-Von ducks it and nails them both with a flying clothesline on the rebound. D-Von crawls to his corner and tries to make a tag, but Bloom (the legal man) is up and he drags D-Von away from the corner. Bloom beats on D-Von and lifts him up for the Settlement (Train Wreck), but D-Von slips out and nails Bloom with a reverse DDT. D-Von crawls to his corner again and this time he is able to tag out to Bubba as Bloom tags Martin.

Bubba comes in and he is a house afire, taking down both Law Firm members. Bloom gets the Bionic Elbow and tumbles out of the ring. Bubba focuses on Martin and delivers the Bubba Bomb, but Martin kicks out. Bubba comes off the ropes for an elbow, but Bloom trips him. As Bloom gloats about that, suddenly Miss Jackie makes her way down to the ring. She goes to yell at Bloom, but Bloom likes what he sees and he starts to stalk her. Inside the ring, Martin drops Bubba with a huge clothesline. He picks Bubba up and sets him up for the Mistrial (Test Drive), but all of a sudden, Goldust and Rico appear out of nowhere and grab Clarence Mason! Martin is focused on Bubba and Bloom is focused on Jackie, so it takes them a second to notice, and by the time they do, Goldust and Rico are gone, and Mason with them. Test goes over to yell at them to bring Mason back, and Bloom takes his attention off of Jackie, who runs off. When Martin turns back around, 3-D! Bloom tries to break that up, but D-Von knocks him off the apron as Bubba covers Martin for the victory.

The Dudley Boyz defeated The Law Firm of Mason, Martin & Bloom when Bubba pinned Martin with the Dudley Death Drop in 0:07:47.
Rating: ***

The Dudley Boyz have built momentum going into their Tag Team Title match at Licence to Kill, but the Law Firm don't even care. Bloom drags a dazed Martin out of the ring and the two of them head backstage in pursuit of their manager.


Coming back from commercial, Martin and Bloom are backstage looking for Clarence Mason. They don't find him, but they do find Miss Jackie guarding a locker room door.

MB: If you know what's good for you, you'll tell us where Clarence Mason is, RIGHT NOW.
AM: We'd hate to have to do something nasty to you. But we wouldn't hate it much.
MJ: Boys, if I were you, I'd be a little nicer to me. You see, your business partner is right inside this door right now. But is you do anything to me out here, Goldust and Rico will do something to Clarence in there.
AM: Yeah? Well what are they going—(interrupted)
MB: You know what, I'd rather not know. Alright then, what do you want from us?
MJ: It's very simple. My men and I simply want a match with the Law Firm of Mason, Martin & Bloom in two weeks at Licence to Kill.
AM: Pfft. That's all you want? Fine then. We beat their asses before, and we beat their asses again.
MJ: Oh, but this won't be the same match. You see, we want a match with the ENTIRE Law Firm - the two of you AND Clarence Mason - against Goldust, Rico and little old me.
AM: Okay, you DEFINITELY didn't need to kidnap Clarence to get us to agree to—
MJ: And there's...a stipulation. You see, if you win, you will receive as a prize the personal services of yours truly.
AM: Giggity giggity giggity—(interrupted)
MB: And in the highly unlikely case that we lose?
MJ: If you lose, Goldust and Rico will receive as a prize the personal services of one Clarence Mason.

Bloom mulls that over.

MB: Do you honestly think we'd be stupid enough to—
AM: Deal! Challenge accepted.

Bloom looks at Martin incredulously.

MJ: Good choice, boys.

Jackie knocks on the door.

MJ: Rico, hun? Would you see Clarence to the door please? (to Martin & Bloom) It'll be just a second.

Bloom continues to stare at Martin.

AM: What? C'mon dude, we're gonna get laid.

The door opens slightly and Rico pushes Clarence Mason out. Jackie quickly slips through the door, and then it is closed again. Clarence is looking a little worse for the wear - his face is covered in makeup and he's quaking with fear.

MB: Damn man, what the hell did they do to you?
CM: Th-th-that's not important. Just p-p-please tell me...you d-d-didn't accept that match, did you?
MB: Uh...
AM: Um...

Well, time for our next match of the night!


Non-title match: Chris Jericho vs. Matt Hardy

This match is non-title, but it's still a huge opportunity for the Sensei of Mattitude. With Chris Jericho's mind occupied by his title defense at Licence to Kill - and particularly the fact that Diamond Dallas Page will be refereeing it - Matt may have the opportunity to take advantage of the distraction and score a huge victory. Jericho doesn't have Jerichoholics Anonymous with him. Our helpful commentators tell us they've received word that Paul Heyman had them "detained." Jericho is in foul spirits, and it's obvious. Matt comes out on top in a few quick technical exchanges from the opening lockup, and Jericho goes crazy, yelling at the ref and kicking the ropes. He goes into another lockup, and Matt once again gets the better of him, catching him in a headlock takedown. Jericho escapes without much difficulty, but he's very frustrated.

After a minute or so of sound technical action, Jericho gets the advantage following a snap mare and a dropkick to the back of the head. We go into a very brief rest-hold mode while Jericho regains his composure, but Matt gets out of it quickly enough. Jericho goes after Matt with chops in the corner, then whips him to the opposite corner. He charges in with a clothesline, but Matt moves out of the way and Jericho crashes into the turnbuckle. Matt goes to the outside and it looks like he might be going for a top-rope move, but before he can climb the turnbuckle, Jericho runs to the buckle and nails Matt with a springboard dropkick, sending him off the apron to the floor. Jericho heads to the outside and beats on Matt. Matt fights back a little and gets a kick to the midsection followed by a front facelock, but Jericho forces him backward until Matt's head smacks against the ringpost. Ow. Jericho backs up and rams Matt into the ringpost again, then lets him go and Matt falls to the ground. Jericho rolls him back in the ring and takes some liberties, kicking Matt while he's down and daring the referee to disqualify him.

The next few minutes see Jericho with the advantage. He rains attacks down on Matt's head, which has been damaged already by the ring post. That's not going to help him with the Walls of Jericho, but Jericho also has that dangerous standing enzuigiri, and that's aimed at the exact area he's working on. Jericho gets a spinning heel kick for two, and a full nelson faceslam for another two. Jericho seems to be getting a little upset that he can't get the win, but he shakes it off and locks in a Dragon Sleeper. Hardy fights out with elbows. Matt fights Jericho off with some shots to the face, then comes off the ropes for a clothesline, but Jericho ducks under it. Matt turns and Jericho takes him down by the legs, then tries to lock in the Walls of Jericho. Matt reaches up before Jericho can turn him over and rakes the eyes. Jericho turns away, holding his eyes, and Matt connects with a rolling reverse cradle for a two-count. Jericho kicks Matt off, then goes for a clothesline, but Matt runs under it, bounces off the ropes, and connects with a diving elbow. Jericho gets up and gets hit with a clothesline, then another. Matt hits a kick to the midsection, then delivers a suplex. Matt floats over into a cover, but Jericho gets the shoulder up.

Matt goes to the second rope, looking for a legdrop, but Jericho is up before Matt can jump. Jericho goes over there, but Matt greets him with a few kicks to the face, then comes off with a sunset flip for another two. Jericho charges at Matt as he gets up, but Matt catches him for a Side Effect. Jericho elbows out, though, and clotheslines Matt down. Jericho waits for Matt to get up and attempts his standing enzuigiri, but Matt ducks it. Matt hooks Jericho's legs and tries to get a quick pinfall, but nothing doing, as Jericho kicks out. Matt kicks Jericho in the midsection as he gets up and sets him up for the Twist of Fate, but Jericho takes him out at the legs again and goes for the Walls. Matt wriggles his way to the ropes before Jericho can turn him over. Jericho has an argument with the ref about letting Matt go, allowing Matt to recover and deliver the Side Effect. Matt goes up to the second rope, gives a resounding VEEEEEE-ONE-AHHHHHH, and comes off with the flying legdrop. Jericho just BARELY rolls out of the way, though, and Matt crashes and burns. Jericho takes advantage and goes for the Walls again, and this time, he locks it in. Matt tries to fight out, but he's right in the middle of the ring and eventually he has to tap.

Chris Jericho made Matt Hardy submit to the Walls Of Jericho in 0:09:58.
Rating: **** 1/4

Matt Hardy may have come up on the losing end, but he has nothing to be ashamed of - that was a fantastic match. But he may have something to be upset about. Coming back from commercial, we see that during the break, as Matt was getting back to his feet, Steven Richards ran in and beat the crap out of him. Richards struck while Matt was at his weakest, beat the piss out of him, then sent him tumbling out of the ring with the Steven Kick. As if that weren't enough, Richards then followed Matt out and gave him the Stevie-T on the floor.


Meanwhile, backstage we've got Sean Edmunds standing by with Carlito.

SE: Sean Edmunds here, with one of the men who will compete in tag team action next: Carlito Caribbean Cool. Carlito, last week you pulled one over on Shawn Michaels once again by having Gene Snitsky take your place in a match against him.
CCC: What do you mean, "pulled one over" on Shawn Michaels? Carlito was a victim of a most unfortunate circumstance in missing his flight.
SE: Well at any rate, this week, you and Snitsky will team up to face Shawn Michaels and a partner of his choice. What do you have planned for the match?
CCC: Well, Sean...Carlito doesn't really have much in terms of a plan. I mean, let's think about this for a second. Don't worry, Sean, thinking is easy, Carlito will help you out. You see, Carlito is set to face Shawn Michaels and "a partner of his choice." But here's my question for you - who is Shawn Michaels going to get as his partner? The last time Carlito checked, Marty Jannetty wasn't on the WWL roster. And neither were Kevin Nash, Ahmed Johnson or Sycho Sid. I mean, just look at what those guys have become. They know what happens when you team with Shawn Michaels. Everyone back in the WWL locker room would much rather team with someone...cool.
SE: And Carlito, you've certainly picked for yourself a heck of a partner.
CCC: That's right, Sean. You see, when Carlito needed someone to help him out last week, he knew just who to call. And that's the other reason Carlito doesn't have much of a strategy for tonight. When you've got a guy as big, as tough, as mean as Gene Snitsky...you really don't need much strategy. Because when Carlito heads down to that ring, he's not even going to have to soil his hands beating the living hell out of Shawn Michaels. Snitsky proved last week he can do that himself. Carlito will just be out there to see the sights, breathe the air, and watch Gene Snitsky obliterate the Heartbreak Kid. And that? That's cool.

Carlito's music cues up, and he heads to the ring.


Carlito makes his entrance, followed by the monster Snitsky. Shawn Michaels heads out for his entrance and stops before entering the ring, Carlito and Snitsky egging him on. We have a brief pause, then..."Yo! It's me! It's D-D-P!" The crowd pops as Shawn's partner makes his way out: Diamond Dallas Page! Page teamed with Shawn a few times last month, and he's here to help Shawn tonight.

Carlito Caribbean Cool & Gene Snitsky vs. Shawn Michaels & Diamond Dallas Page

DDP and Shawn both slide into the ring and head straight for their opponents. Carlito takes a quick powder while the faces fires off on Snitsky. They quickly put Snitsky over the top with a double clothesline. Snitsky rages while Carlito stays backed off. Eventually, Shawn goes to the apron and DDP enters the ring to start the match. Carlito slides in to take him on. DDP makes as if to lock up with Carlito, but Shawn wants the tag. DDP tags Shawn, and Carlito quickly goes over and tags Snitsky. Shawn is pissed, as he wants Carlito, but he's not going to have a chance to go after him with Snitsky standing in his way.

Shawn makes to lock up with Snitsky, but then he darts under Snitsky's grasp and slips behind him. Shawn delivers a couple of kicks to the back of Snitsky's leg. Snitsky spins around and tries to take Shawn's head off with an elbow, but Shawn ducks under it and connects with a few shots to the midsection. Shawn comes off the ropes, ducks under a Snitsky clothesline and connects with a cross-body on the rebound for a two-count. Shawn stomps Snitsky in the head before he can get up, but Snitsky catches Shawn's foot and gets back to his feet. Snitsky spins Shawn around and goes for another clothesline, but Shawn ducks once again and jumps on Snitsky's back. Snitsky tries to shake Shawn off, but he can't get rid of him, so he backs up and smashes Shawn into the turnbuckle. Several times. That shakes Shawn off. Snitsky hits knees to Shawn's midsection in the corner, then whips him to the opposite corner, causing Shawn to flip onto the buckle. Snitsky charges, but Shawn moves and Snitsky hits the buckle. Shawn goes over and tags DDP, who comes in and fires off on Snitsky with right hands. Snitsky shoves DDP to the ground, then nails him with a clothesline as he gets up. Snitsky throws DDP into his corner, traps him there and tags Carlito.

It's pretty much a lot of this - standard, not-exceptionally-exciting action without either side getting a pronounced advantage. And every time Shawn gets tagged in, Carlito tags out to Snitsky. He wants no part of Shawn Michaels, but Shawn is dying to get him some of Carlito. Unfortunately for him, when DDP is in there for Snitsky, DDP tries to come off the ropes and Carlito knees him in the back. DDP stumbles forward into a Snitsky sidewalk slam. That gives the heels their first significant advantage, and they take liberties with DDP for a few minutes. But DDP is a smart competitor, and he realizes when he's getting beaten, so he's trying hard to tag out. After getting stomped for awhile, DDP tries to sneak over to his corner, but Carlito grabs his foot. Carlito spins DDP and DDP goes for a clothesline, but Carlito ducks it, then hits DDP with a spinebuster when he turns around. Carlito and Snitsky beat up DDP some more. At one point, DDP gets a swinging neckbreaker on Snitsky and crawls over to his corner, but Carlito distracts the referee as Shawn is tagged in. The ref forces Shawn back out, and while he's doing that, Carlito comes in and drags DDP back over to his corner. Snitsky tags Carlito back in. Carlito is back on DDP. DDP starts mounting a comeback and even goes for the Diamond Cutter, but Carlito counters into the Lungblower. That gets two, and Carlito tags Snitsky, telling him to finish DDP off. Snitsky gets in a few seconds of choking and stomping, then signals that this one is over. He scoops up DDP for his bodyslam-into-uranage maneuver from last week, but DDP wriggles out, then delivers a bulldog to Snitsky. Both men are down. Snitsky makes it to his corner first and tags Carlito, who races in to stop DDP from tagging Shawn, but it's too late - DDP makes the tag, and Shawn is in, with his sights set on Carlito.

Carlito tries to beg off, but that never works. Shawn is on him in an instant, letting him have it with right hands. Shawn gets in some chops as well, whips Carlito to the turnbuckle, then connects with a backdrop as he stumbles out. Shawn sees Snitsky starting to enter the ring, so he nails Snitsky before he can get through the ropes, sending him to the outside. Shawn then continues his assault on Carlito, mostly with chops and punches and stomps, but also with a back suplex and a regular suplex. Shawn is fired up, and he positions Carlito for a piledriver, but Snitsky is back in by now and he hits a knee to Shawn's back. That stops the piledriver, and Snitsky delivers some more shots to Shawn's back. Snitsky then hooks Shawn into position for a pumphandle slam, but DDP is in. He fires off on Snitsky, then takes the both of them over the top rope with a clothesline. DDP and Snitsky brawl outside the ring while Carlito goes after Shawn in the ring. In desperation, Carlito chokes Shawn, then connects with a dropkick, but a cover only gets two. Carlito whips Shawn off the ropes, misses a clothesline and gets a flying forearm. Both men are down, but Shawn soon kips up. It's time for the Finishing Moveset of Doom (fueled by JESUS POWER~!)! Inverted atomic drop. Clothesline. Bodyslam. Flying elbowdrop. Carlito is on dream street, and Shawn starts tuning up the band. Carlito staggers to his feet, Shawn loads up and...WHAM! Snitsky is in and he nails Shawn in the back with a chair! The referee calls for the bell.

Shawn Michaels and Diamond Dallas Page defeated Gene Snitsky and Carlito Caribbean Cool when S. Michaels defeated Carlito by disqualification in 0:13:12.
Rating: **

Shawn goes down from that shot, and Snitsky starts stomping the crap out of him. Carlito quickly recovers and he and Snitsky both start hammering away at Shawn. While this is going on, a quick replay shows Snitsky sending DDP into the ringsteps, which explains why he wasn't able to stop this. Carlito hauls Shawn to his feet and holds him up for Snitsky, who drills him with a big boot. Carlito then picks Shawn up and it looks like he's about to go for a reverse DDT, but DDP is back in and he's got his hands on the chair. Carlito and Snitsky bail. The heels back away from the ring as DDP tries to help Shawn to his feet.


Coming back from commercial break, Shawn Michaels and Diamond Dallas Page are in Paul Heyman's office. Shawn is fuming, and DDP is trying to stay calm.

SM: EVERY TIME! EVERY SINGLE TIME I'm in a match with that sneaky little punk Carlito, he pulls the same thing! At You Only Live Twice, he hits me in the groin. The next night, he hits me in the back with a chair. Last week, he weasels out of our match and sends that escaped mental patient Snitsky after me. And then tonight, it's just more of the same. Now look, Paul. You're the boss around here, and I respect that. I know you tried to give me a one-on-one match against Carlito last week, but he slipped out of it. All I'm asking for is what I've been asking for since that frizzy-haired scumbag first started trying to mess with me: a one-on-one match. No interference, no excuses, no nothing. I know you have the power to do that, Paul. All I'm asking is that you exercise that power.
PH: Shawn, for the past few weeks, I've been trying to give you what you're asking for, and week in and week out, Carlito finds a way out. But Shawn, I think I've got a plan to give you your match. In two weeks at Licence to Kill, it will be Shawn Michaels one-on-one with Carlito Caribbean Cool...in a steel cage.

Shawn's good mood is starting to come back.

PH: And what's more, if Carlito decides to not show up for his match, like he did last week, he will be suspended indefinitely from the WWL, without pay.
SM: Paul, if I weren't a happily married man who doesn't want people spreading the same rumors about him that they used to spread back in the 90's, I could kiss you.
PH: Well, the sentiment is appreciated.

DDP and Shawn exit stage right. Paul Heyman is about to go back to his paperwork, then gets an odd look on his face and looks to his right.

PH: ...Are you hiding behind my plant?

The camera pans over to show a large plant in Heyman's office, and hiding behind it is...Steven Richards! Richards leaps out from behind the plant.

PH: How long have you been back there?
SR: Long enough to see what you did with that harlot from the corner store! How could you, you insensitive bastard??!
PH: If you're not going to make any sense, then I suggest you—

Richards' goofy expression suddenly hardens.

SR: Heyman, tonight I made a statement to Matt Hardy. I showed him that I will not take his disrespect lying down. If Matt Hardy thinks he has won this war between us, he is dead, dead wrong. What I still have in story for Matt Hardy will be a truly ghastly display of destruction. I will take him apart, piece by piece. And I will start at Licence to Kill.
PH (taken aback): You know, I have no objection to signing matches on request. All you have to do is ask.
SR: Oh, but what I did to Matt Hardy tonight was so much more fun. And what I do to him at Licence to Kill will be nothing short of...brilliant.
PH: Fine. You've got your match, Steven.
SR: My...Steven? That's my...NO! NO! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Stop trying to tell me what to do! I don't need you to fight my battles! GET OOOUUUUTTTT!

Richards bends down and starts banging his head on Heyman's desk.

PH: Steven? STEVEN! Get ahold of yourself!

Richards looks back up at Heyman with his expression changed again.

SR: Get AHOLD of myself? What kind of sick pervert are you? I will do no such thing on a television program that children are watching! ARRIVADERCI!

Richards dashes out of Heyman's office. Heyman just shakes his head and goes back to his paperwork.


Back in the ring, Rhyno is out for yet another Intercontinental Title Open Challenge. After a brief pause, an opponent is revealed for Rhyno in the form of...Rene Dupree! Dupree heads down to the ring accompanied by Sylvain Grenier, both of them waving their French flags.

Intercontinental Title: Rhyno (c) vs. Rene Dupree

Rhyno and Dupree lock up, and Rhyno shoves Dupree down to the mat. Dupree backs off, trying to collect himself, when suddenly Muhammad Hassan and Khosrow Daivari are in the ring and attacking Rhyno! This one is over already?

Rhyno defeated Rene Dupree by disqualification in 0:00:14.
Rating: *
(Rhyno retained the WWL Intercontinental Title.)

La Resistance just sort of weasel out of there as Hassan and Daivari pound away at Rhyno. Rhyno is a pretty tough guy, but he's been taken completely by surprise, and with Hassan and Daivari stomping him while he's down, all he can do is cover up. Hassan takes over beating on Rhyno as Daivari heads out of the ring and grabs the Intercontinental Title belt. Daivari hands Hassan the belt and he's about to clock Rhyno with it, but the Sandman runs in and nails Hassan, causing the belt to go flying out of the ring. Sandman fires off on Hassan. Daivari hits the Sandman from behind, but before another double-team can happen, Rhyno is back up and he goes after Daivari. All four of them brawl until officials come down to break it up, and even when that happens, it takes a while to restore order, as the officials aren't able to break things up fully for a little while. Finally, officials are able to isolate Sandman and Rhyno and push them back toward the entranceway, while more officials restrain Hassan and Daivari over near the other side of the ring. Hassan, seeing his opportunity, snatches a microphone from the timekeeper's table.

MH: RHYNO! Every week, you come out here and find someone new to beat up to defend your precious Intercontinental Title! But all the while, what you're REALLY doing is dodging me! Just as America finds smaller countries to pick on because they can't find Osama bin Laden, you are finding smaller opponents to pick on because you don't have the guts to face the great Muhammad Hassan! Rhyno, if you have any more guts than the average American coward, you and the Sandman will face Daivari and myself at Licence to Kill! And if you have any more backbone than the American politicians who send loyal soldiers to die while they relax in their comfy offices, you'll put that Intercontinental Title on the line!

Rhyno and the Sandman are furious at Hassan's comments, but Rhyno's body language seems to be saying that he accepts the challenge. Even the officials holding Rhyno and the Sandman are disgusted at what Hassan has said, but they continue to hold them back.


Back from commercial, and it's time for tonight's main event.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Big Show

Mysteriously enough, Jeff Jarrett doesn't have JBL at ringside with him for this one. There must be some sort of scheme afoot. Jarrett and Big Show lock up, and Big Show pushes Jarrett back into the corner. He then proceeds to launch Jarrett halfway across the ring. Jarrett backs away into the opposite corner and begs off. Big Show comes over to get him and Jarrett starts delivering kicks to the midsection. Jarrett goes after Big Show with right hands, but Big Show shoves him back into the corner. Jarrett ducks under a clothesline and kicks at Big Show's knee. Jarrett starts with the punches again, but Big Show blocks one and then drops Jarrett with a headbutt. Jarrett gets up and eats clothesline. Big Show goes for a bodyslam, but Jarrett wriggles out. He goes for a bulldog, but Big Show shoves him off. Jarrett comes off the ropes, but Big Show tosses him high in the air and Jarrett smashes to the canvas. Jarrett pokes Big Show in the eye as he gets up and charges again, but Big Show simply tosses him out of the ring. As Jarrett collects himself on the outside, JBL saunters down to ringside. Well, we knew it couldn't be long before this happened. JBL gives Jarrett some words of encouragement and Jarrett slides back into the ring.

It looks like we're about to see another lockup, but Jarrett elects instead to kick Big Show in the gut. Jarrett smashes Big Show with an elbow, comes off the far ropes, and clips the knee. Big Show drops down to one knee, and Jarrett comes off the ropes and clocks him with a knee of his own. Jarrett smells blood, and he goes right for the knee he clipped out. Jarrett spends a short while going after the knee, but Big Show soon fights out. Jarrett quickly finds himself trapped in the corner. Big Show shushes the crowd, then lays a huge slap on Jarrett's chest. Big Show then rears back and delivers another. JBL jumps up on the apron, but drops back down when Big Show starts toward him. Big Show goes back over to Jarrett, but as he does, he notices Chris Jericho also making his way down to the ring. Big Show rolls his eyes and talks trash at Jericho, but Jericho just smirks at him. Big Show goes back to Jarrett, but Jarrett has recovered and he rakes the eyes. Big Show stumbles back, and Jarrett goes to the second rope and comes off with a flying axhandle. Big Show is staggered, and Jarrett clips out the knee again. Jarrett continues to work the knee, but as he goes for a figure-four, Big Show kicks him off into the ropes. Big Show charges at Jarrett, but he ducks and Big Show crotches himself on the top rope. Jarrett comes off the opposite ropes and rams into Big Show, causing him to tumble off the apron to the outside. Somewhat awkwardly. SHIT.

Jarrett takes this opportunity to have a discussion with the referee. This, clearly, is just a ploy for Jericho and JBL to attack the Big Show, which they do. But it quickly becomes clear that something is amiss, because as the two of them try to pick up Big Show and roll him back in the ring, they have a tougher time than they expected. Jarrett goes over there, and the ref turns and sees Jericho and JBL trying to haul Big Show into the ring and failing at it. He goes over to "admonish" them, but he is clearly trying to figure out just what the hell's going on. A quick exchange of hushed words and gestures seems to sort things out for the time being. Jarrett grabs the ref and starts arguing with him again while Jericho and JBL go back to beating on Big Show. As they do, JBL sorta shoves Jericho out of the way to kick Big Show in the head. Jericho takes exception, and he shoves JBL back. JBL takes exception to that, and soon enough, JBL and Jericho are engaged in a war of shouts and shoves. Big Show, meanwhile, manages to painfully haul himself into the ring.

Well, about this time, the ref notices the fight going on outside the ring, and he goes over there to maintain order. Jarrett sees his chance, and he quickly slips out of the ring and returns with his guitar. Big Show is slowly picking himself up to his feet, and he's favoring his left knee. Which is just freakin' great continuity-wise, because Jarrett was attacking the right one. But what can you do? Jarrett raises the guitar for a kabong, but no sooner does he do that than it is snatched out of his hands. Jarrett spins and sees Rey Mysterio on the apron holding his guitar, and is all "WTF?" Jarrett yells at Rey, but Rey quickly drops off the apron, still holding the guitar. Jarrett turns back around and Big Show goozles him. Big Show painfully lifts Jarrett and drills him with the Show Stopper. Big Show covers, and the ref comes over and counts the pinfall.

The Big Show pinned Jeff Jarrett with the Show Stopper in 0:06:37.
The Big Show injured his left knee. He will be out for approximately 5 cards.
Rating: ***

FRIGGING BIG SHOW! The ref checks on the downed Big Show, then throws up the X, sending some more officials to the ring. The cameras don't want to pick this up, so they focus on JBL and Jericho, who have resumed their argument and come to blows. The officials manage to help get the injured Big Show out of the way as Jericho and JBL fight their way into the ring. Some of the officials start to break that up, but they are quickly knocked down. JBL gets Jericho with a boot to the face, and starts to drag him to his feet, but Jericho delivers a swift uppercut to the nutsack. JBL drops to his knees as Jericho taunts him. But lo and behold, here's Diamond Dallas Page! He spins Jericho around and drops him with the Diamond Cutter to a big pop. JBL drags himself up to thank DDP, but he gets a Diamond Cutter for his troubles. DDP stands over his two downed foes and gives the sign for the Diamond Cutter as we go off the air. Well, THAT ending was a massive clusterfuck. Stupid injured Big Show.


Card rating: ** ½

Signed thus far for Licence to Kill:

WWL World Heavyweight Title: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Big Show (maybe?) vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Steel Cage Match: Shawn Michaels vs. Carlito Caribbean Cool

WWL Intercontinental Title: Rhyno (c) & the Sandman vs. Muhammad Hassan & Khosrow Daivari (if Hassan's team wins, he wins the Intercontinental Title)

Jeff Jarrett vs. Rey Mysterio

WWL Tag Team Titles: Lords of the Dance (c) vs. Dudley Boyz

WWL Cruiserweight Title: Ultimo Dragon (c) vs. Jamie Noble

Goldust, Rico & Miss Jackie vs. The Law Firm of Mason, Martin & Bloom (winning team gets the "services" of the losing team's manager)

Steven Richards vs. Matt Hardy
rey619Posted on 03/17/06 at 12:13:41

I think I mentioned it the first time WWL was posted on the boards, but you my friend is one of the more entertaining bookers around.

It's a really fun read, I think you're the master of promo writing.
Snabbit888Posted on 03/17/06 at 19:52:41

Yay WWL is back!  This feedback won't be too detailed as I need to get reassimilated into the happenings of WWL, but my memory has been refreshed somewhat already.

More circuits need a quality Jamie Noble.

Your depiction of Chris Jericho is fantastic.  I find him to be one of the hardest interviews to write because he has such a unique style IRL, but you capture it well.  Does he still have Lenny and Disco as his lackeys?

Poor Rey-Rey. :(

Yay Jake Roberts!  I note that I may be blatantly stealing that idea in the future.  Booya.

I wish I gave two shits about the Law Firm, but I don't.  I'm sorry Garth... hug? :(

Good match between Jericho and Hardy.  V1 looked good in defeat... except for that Stevie Richards killing him afterwards thing.  Teehee.

Cage match at the PPV!  Yay Carlito!  I have no idea why I have no Carlito in GCW... what is my problem!??

I miss Muhammad Hassan. :(  I like Daivari, but I'd much rather have Sandman as a partner than him.  Do I smell a hell turn for Sandman?

Big Show injured?  Don't worry; I have the perfect solution to cure what ails you, and give the main event something it needed more of anyway... KANE!  Do it!  NOW!
AllPowerfulGARTHPosted on 03/18/06 at 00:04:04

Chris Jericho does still have Jerichoholics Anonymous, they just weren't around for this show. Disco Inferno wrestled on Rush, so that match will be up...uh...whenever I get around to it.

The Law Firm...well...it's not easy to get Test and A-Train over, and I realize that. I've sort of slacked off on mentioning their lawyer gimmick, but I hope to work on that soon.

And as for Carlito...damn, man. Hasn't GCW got enough workhorses already? Don't beat yourself up!