FORUM HOME > TNM Circuits > TNM Circuits
WWL You Only Live Twice: 5/29/05

AllPowerfulGARTHPosted on 08/20/05 at 03:22:01

Here's an opening video package for you.  We start out with "You Only Live Twice" by Nancy Sinatra, but that kinda has limited uses as a pay-per-view theme, so after the opening part, it transitions into "Can't Repeat" by the Offspring.  After a rousing fireworks display, it's down to ringside...

GB: WELCOME, WWL fans, to You Only Live Twice!  The WWL is LIVE on pay-per-view for the second of what I'm certain will be many, many times!  I'm Garth Bishop, and of course you know my broadcast colleague, the Honky Tonk Man!
HTM: I'll tell ya what, Garth, these fans are absolutely RABID tonight!  But you can hardly blame them, because they know they're going to be a part of history!
GB: We've certainly got a great card set up.  Wrestling Royalty going up against Big Show & Kane, Shawn Michaels facing Carlito Caribbean Cool, Ultimo Dragon putting the Cruiserweight Title on the line against Juventud Guerrera...
HTM: And then there's the Tag Team Title Tournament, plus Rhyno vs. Muhammad Hassan, PLUS the just-added match between Matt Hardy and Steven Richards!
GB: And then there's the big one, the main event, with the WWL World Heavyweight Title up for grabs as Chris Jericho defends against Diamond Dallas Page!  But I don't need to tell these fans about what they're going to see tonight if I can just show it to them, so let's head down to the ring!

Tag Team Title Tournament, Semifinals: Dudley Boyz vs. Law Firm of Mason, Martin & Bloom

Both of these teams have been pretty dominant in tag team competition, so this ought to be challenge for both.  A brief period of feeling out leads to Bubba Ray Dudley and Matthew Bloom mixing it up.  It's hossamania running wild.  Bloom has the size advantage here, but Bubba hits hard, and he manages to take the early advantage for the Dudley Boyz.  Bubba and D-Von make some quick tags to isolate Bloom.  Bloom powers out a couple of times, but he's never able to make it to his corner before one Dudley tags the other and the other comes in to stop him.  Eventually, the Law Firm gets a little tired of that, and Clarence Mason distracts the ref while Andrew Martin comes in and crushes D-Von Dudley with a kick to the back.  Bloom gives D-Von a bodyslam, then tags out to Martin.  Now it's the Law Firm's turn to do a little double-teaming.  Martin baits Bubba into trying to get into the ring, and when the ref goes to stop him, Martin chokes D-Von with his boot in the corner while Bloom holds him in place.  A few more tactics like that put the Law Firm firmly in control, with D-Von worrying more about tagging out than mounting any offense.

Not that he's afforded the opportunity.  Martin & Bloom keep D-Von on the ropes with power moves and as many cheap shots as they can muster.  A full nelson slam by Martin gets a long two.  Bloom is tagged in and he hits a big splash, but D-Von gets his foot on the rope before the three.  Martin is tagged back in and connects with a pump-handle slam, but Bubba breaks the pin when it's clear D-Von isn't going to be able to kick out.  Mason gets irate at Bubba's intervention, and he pitches a fit.  This is just a ploy to give the Law Firm a chance to double-team D-Von, and Bloom tries to whip D-Von into Martin's boot, but D-Von slides under the boot and manages to tag Bubba.

Bubba is in and he's a HOUSE AFIRE.  Bubba takes down both his opponents with clotheslines, gives Martin a bodyslam, and sends Bloom tumbling out of the ring with a Bionic Elbow.  Bubba goes back to Martin, but an eye poke turns things back in Martin's favor briefly.  Martin pushes Bubba into the corner, but Bubba spins things around and hits some hard chops to Martin's chest.  Bubba whips Martin to the other turnbuckle and charges in, but Martin gets out of the way and tags in Bloom.  Bloom comes in and grabs Bubba for the Plea Bargain, but Bubba hits a kick to the midsection and a DDT.  Martin starts to come in, but D-Von cuts him off with a diving elbow.  The Dudleyz hammer on Martin and send him over the top with a double clothesline.  Bloom is back up and the Dudleyz deliver a double flapjack.  Bloom is down and the Dudleyz stand tall -- and Bubba tells D-Von to get the tables!

As the Dudley Boyz go out and grab a table, Clarence Mason interjects (again) in an attempt to stop them.  Bubba grabs Clarence and asks the fans if they want to see him go through the table.  The fans approve, of course, but Martin doesn't, and he comes over and starts fighting with Bubba.  D-Von, meanwhile, re-enters the ring, unaware that Bloom now has a chair and the referee isn't looking...but before he can use it, it's been snatched out of his hands by Rico!  Looks like Rico is here to get some payback for a few past beatdowns at the hands of the Law Firm.  Outside the ring, Bubba reverses a whip and sends Martin into the ring post, then re-enters the ring.  Bloom yells at Rico, then turns around and...3-D!  Bubba makes the cover to give the Dudley Boyz the victory -- they'll move on to the finals of the tournament, which will be held tomorrow night on Action.

(Tag Team Title Tournament):
The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley) defeated The Law Firm of Mason, Martin & Bloom (Andrew Martin and Matthew Bloom) when Bubba pinned Bloom with the Dudley Death Drop in 0:10:42.
Rating: ** 1/4

Here's Diamond Dallas Page backstage taping his wrists.  He looks up from the bench he's sitting on and in walks...Shawn Michaels.

SM: DDP, my man.  Focused as ever.
DDP: I've gotta focus, man.  I mean, I'm jacked to the moon about finally getting my title shot...but I know Chris Jericho's gonna have as many things up his sleeve as he can fit.  So I can't lose focus.
SM: Hey, I know where you're comin' from.  I've got Carlito tonight, and I know - I KNOW - I can beat that sneaky weasel if it's one-on-one, but he's always got that Law Firm with him.  But I know that if I keep the faith, I can take him out, Law Firm or no Law Firm.  And I know, DDP my man, I know that you can beat Chris Jericho and put that WWL World Heavyweight Title somewhere it belongs.
DDP: Well, it's funny you say that, Shawn, because I hope you remember the promise I made you.  I take that title away from Jericho tonight, and you know who the first title shot's going to.
SM: Don't worry 'bout it.  You focus on beating Jericho tonight, and then we can figure out this title match down the road.  I can wait for my chance, but man, your wait for your chance is almost over, and amigo, I know you can do it.
DDP: Thanks, Shawn.  And I'm sure gonna enjoy watching you beat the afro off that apple-chomping sleaze.  Good luck tonight.
SM: Likewise.

DDP and Shawn shake hands, and then Shawn exits as DDP goes back to his preparation.

ALAYLEAAAAAHHHHALAYLEAHLAYLEAHLAYLEAAAHHHHH...

Here comes Muhammad Hassan down to the ring.  He's got Khosrow Daivari with him, of course.  He's got an Intercontinental Title match against Rhyno in just a minute here, and it's no-DQ, but right now, he's got a mic.

MH: What?  What's that I hear?  Could it be the sound of booing?  Could it be the sound of every fan in this arena being thoroughly PREJUDICED against myself and Daivari because of our Arab-American heritage?  No, no, don't tell me, it'll come to me.  Well allow me to let each and every one of you in on a little secret.  You can boo me all you want tonight, because for once, the prejudice of you ignorant American people will NOT be able to stop an honest Arab-American like myself from succeeding.  Because with my match against Rhyno being no-disqualification, there is NO WAY I cannot walk out of here tonight with the Intercontinental Title.  Now, I know how much it upsets all of you that an Arab-AMERICAN will be accomplishing something tonight that most of you cannot even HOPE to achieve, but know this.  Unlike what happened at 9/11, what I'm about to do to Rhyno can NOT be prevented.

The crowd goes insane with rage.  Luckily, the animal roar signals the appearance of Rhyno to prevent the fans from jumping the barrier and killing Hassan themselves.  Rhyno sprints down to the ring, but Hassan hangs back instead of taking the fight straight to him.

No-Disqualification Match for the Intercontinental Title: Rhyno (c) vs. Muhammad Hassan

From the moment Khosrow Daivari appeared on the entrance ramp to accompany Hassan to the ring, it was clear how much of this match was going to play out.  The match is one-on-one for the first few minutes, with Hassan and Rhyno trading holds and low-impact moves like shoulderblocks.  Daivari stays on the outside, shouting things at Rhyno in Farsi.  After suffering some chops from Rhyno in the corner, Hassan decides to bail out.  Rhyno is right on his tail, though, and he chases after Hassan on the outside.  Hassan begs off, but only long enough for Daivari to attack Rhyno from behind.  Rhyno pretty much shrugs off the attack and he shoves Daivari down, but Hassan is on him in a flash.  Hassan grabs Rhyno and sends him into the barricade a few times, then bashes his head on the ring steps.  Rhyno drops down to his hands and knees, and Daivari assails him with stomps and insults.  A cocky Hassan chucks Rhyno back in the ring and covers, but Rhyno kicks out.  Hassan angrily goes for a choke, and though the referee gives him the customary five-count, Hassan doesn't break the hold after five -- why would he?  He can't be disqualified!  Hassan continues choking Rhyno until he gets too annoyed by the ref's admonishing him and lets go to yell at the ref.  Before Rhyno can even react, Daivari reaches in from outside the ring to choke him some more.  Hassan finishes yelling at the ref and lays into Rhyno with stomps and elbowdrops.  Hassan is firmly in control.

Hassan keeps on Rhyno, but Rhyno isn't about to be beaten so easily.  Hassan tosses him out of the ring so Daivari can beat on him some more, but Rhyno suddenly gets free and starts firing off on Daivari.  Rhyno grabs Daivari and tosses him into the timekeeper's table.  Hassan comes out to go after Rhyno, but Rhyno fights back and slams Hassan's head into the announce table a few times.  Rhyno grabs a cable and gets some payback by choking Hassan with it.  Daivari breaks that up, but only briefly as Rhyno gets the better of him with a headbutt.  Daivari stumbles back into the barricade.  Rhyno gives Hassan a couple of stomps, then quickly turns and Gores Daivari right through the barricade!  Daivari is DEAD.  Rhyno's pleased with this.  He goes to turn his attention back to Hassan, but Hassan is ready for him and he blasts Rhyno with a TV monitor to the head.  OUCH.  Hassan checks on Daivari for a second, then decides that Rhyno is more important.  Hassan slams Rhyno's head into the timekeeper's table, then into the ring steps again.  Hassan backs Rhyno off, then hurls him headfirst into the steps.  Rhyno's head hits the steps hard and he's down.  Hassan gloats, then hauls Rhyno up and throws him in the ring, but the cover only gets two again.  Hassan can't believe it.  Hassan picks away at Rhyno with stomps and chokes for awhile, then picks him up and delivers a back suplex.  Hassan turns Rhyno onto his stomach and stands over him, does his "pray to Allah" pose, and starts to apply the Camel Clutch, but Rhyno quickly turns over and gives Hassan a knee to the balls.  Hassan topples over and both men are down.

Rhyno and Hassan get back to their feet and a slugfest ensues, which Rhyno wins.  Rhyno whips Hassan to the corner and charges in with a big shoulderblock to the midsection.  Hassan stumbles out of the corner and Rhyno decks him with a clothesline.  Hassan's back up, another clothesline.  Rhyno hits a kick to the midsection, then delivers a Doctor Bomb to Hassan.  Rhyno covers, but Hassan manages to kick out.  Rhyno hoists Hassan onto his shoulder and delivers a powerslam, but Hassan again kicks out.  Rhyno is fired up.  Hassan tries to bail out of the ring, but Rhyno catches him this time and drags him back in.  Hassan gets a brief respite from an eye poke, but as he charges at Rhyno, Rhyno counters with a big spinebuster.  Hassan is down, and Rhyno goes to the other corner and sets up for the Gore.  Hassan is slooooowly getting back to his feet, Rhyno's got him sized up, aaaaaand...Daivari's in the ring with a chair!  Rhyno clocks Daivari before he can use the chair, then picks him up and chucks him over the top.  Rhyno turns around and SAC KICK BY HASSAN.  Hassan quickly follows up with his modified STO.  Hassan rolls over Rhyno, gives him the throat cut gesture, and locks in the Camel Clutch.  Daivari gets back in the ring to taunt Rhyno as he's locked in the Camel Clutch.  It looks like it's all over for Rhyno...

But wait!  Someone just jumped out of the crowd and is in the ring!  It's the Sandman!  And he's wielding a Singapore cane!  Sandman blasts Hassan in the back with the cane and he releases the Camel Clutch and falls to the mat.  Daivari takes a swing at the Sandman, but he gets a cane to the midsection.  Sandman then nails Daivari across the head with the cane.  The Sandman hauls Daivari up to his feet, puts the cane across his throat, and drops him with the White Russian Legdrop.  Sandman kicks the dazed Daivari out of the ring.  Sandman turns around right into a chairshot from Hassan, and he tumbles out of the ring.  Hassan, still armed with the chair, turns his attention back to Rhyno, but GORE!  GORE!  GORE!  Rhyno makes the cover and gets the hard-fought victory.

No-Countout-No-DQ-Match:
Rhyno pinned Muhammad Hassan with the Gore in 0:14:31.
Rating: **
(Rhyno retained the WWL Intercontinental Title.)

Post-match, the Sandman gets back in the ring and congratulates Rhyno on his victory.  Looks like Rhyno has found himself an ally.

Backstage, the Law Firm of Mason, Martin & Bloom is infuriated.

CM: This is, without a doubt, THE greatest travesty of justice in the history of sports entertainment!  I cannot believe the nerve of that...that DEVIANT Rico, interfering in a match in which he had NO BUSINESS!
MB: And laying his hands on me, no less!  I do NOT want that fruitcake anywhere near me!
CM: Where the HELL was security?  What kind of operation is Paul Heyman running here, where people like Rico are allowed to prance around and do as they please?  He's accosted Mr. Bloom, he's sexually harassed me...
AM: And hell, I'm not gonna lie to you guys - I'm terrified that I'm going to be next!
CM: Well let me tell you, Mr. Martin, if that DOES happen, I will pursue legal action against Rico so fast his head will spin!  In fact, I'm going to march down to Paul Heyman's office right now and DEMAND that Rico not be allowed within 500 feet of any one of us!
MB: Right on, boss!  You teach him that NO ONE is above the law!
CM: Oh, you know I will!

Clarence Mason leaves the locker room, and the second he does, Rico appears out of nowhere and plants a kiss on his cheek.

R: Sayonara, sweetheart!

Rico scampers off.  Martin and Bloom burst out of the locker room in pursuit, but a cadre of officials is between them and Rico.  Seeing Rico escaping, Martin hauls off and punches out one of the officials.  Martin continues trying to push through the officials, but Mason's eyes go wide as he sees that the person Martin just knocked out was a police officer.

CM: Ohhhhhhh crap.

Tag Team Title Tournament, Semifinals: Scotty 2-Hotty & Shannon Moore vs. Lords of the Dance

The Lords of the Dance break out their dance routine as soon as they hit the ring, but Scotty 2-Hotty and Shannon Moore are ready for it -- they immediately set upon the Lords and toss them from the ring.  Just to be bastards.

Things start out with L.A. Park against Scotty.  The Cat is pretty much planning to not tag in at any point unless absolutely necessary, and Park understands the motivation behind that (the Cat will lose).  Park is able to perform reasonably well against Scotty and Shannon, but every time he gets the advantage, he thinks twice about tagging out, giving his opponent a chance to come back.  Scotty and Shannon show some great teamwork as they work over Park, but Park is a crafty competitor, and he uses every advantage he can get, usually staying close to the ropes so he can force a break on any hold applied to him.  Park continues wrestling conservatively, waiting for his opening.  And finally, he gets it -- Scotty 2-Hotty goes for a huracanrana, and Park is able to counter into a huge powerbomb.  Scotty has been laid out, and Park makes the tag to the Cat, figuring Scotty to be hurt enough that the Cat can't screw this up.

The Cat is in, and it's notable that he's a lot better in the ring when his opponent can't fight back.  The Cat gets a few shots in on Scotty, keeping him grounded.  When the Cat feels the desire to dance, Park is able to talk him into making the tag first, and Park comes in to work on Scotty for awhile.  Park uses a little bit of LUCHADOR OFFENSE~ on Scotty to keep him unable to make the tag, then tags back out to the Cat.  The Cat gets in a couple shots on Scotty, but the Cat misses a martial arts kick and Scotty gets him with a thrust kick.  The Cat is down and Scotty crawls to his corner and tags Moore -- but Lamont distracts the referee, and he doesn't see the tag.  The ref forces Moore back to his corner as Park sneaks in and blasts Scotty with a kick to the back of the head.  This allows Miller to tag Park back in, and Park goes back to work on Scotty.  Park hits a powerslam for two, then goes up top for the Twisting Bodyblock.  Park comes off the top, but Scotty moves out of the way and Park crashes and burns.  Park manages to tag the Cat and he just barely cuts Scotty off before he can tag Moore.  The Cat picks Scotty up for...something...but whatever it is, Scotty counters it with a DDT.  Scotty crawls to his corner and this time, he makes the legal tag to Moore just as the Cat is able to tag Park.

Moore charges in and nails Park with a dropkick.  The Cat bumbles over and he gets one too.  Park reverses an Irish whip, and Moore ducks a clothesline and connects with a cross-body for two.  Moore hits a bulldog for another two.  Moore sets up Park for a DDT, he counters with a backdrop, Moore counters with a sunset flip for another two.  Moore nails Park with a huracanrana, then takes Park over to the turnbuckle and connects with the Mooregasm.  It looks like it might be over, but the Cat breaks the pin with a hard kick right to Shannon's face.  Moore holds his face in pain, and the Cat nails him with another stiff kick.  The Cat's very proud of himself for mounting something resembling offense.  That lasts about four seconds, after which point he is nailed by a Scotty facebuster.  Scotty's got the Cat in perfect position and W-O-R-M slide slide slide hoo hoo CHOP!  Scotty delivers the Worm, and Lamont jumps up on the apron to yell at Scotty.  Scotty grabs Lamont by his ridiculous wig, asks the crowd if they want it, then belts Lamont.  The crowd likes that one.  But suddenly, Park gets back up and shoves a dazed Moore into Scotty, sending Scotty tumbling through the ropes and out of the ring.  Park rolls up Moore and gets the three-count.

(Tag Team Title Tournament):
The Lords of the Dance (Ernest Miller and L.A. Park) defeated Scotty 2-Hotty and Shannon Moore when Park pinned S. Moore after an inside cradle in 0:09:51.
Rating: ***

Lamont, still holding his aching head, helps Park carry the Cat, who's been knocked goofy again, to the back.  Scotty and Shannon, meanwhile, just stand in the ring, upset that they actually lost to the Cat (even if it wasn't he who got the pin).

Paul Heyman is minding his own business when Carlito Caribbean Cool bursts into his office, nervously fidgeting with his apple.

PH: Can I help you, Carlito?
CCC: Mr. Heyman!  Have you seen the Law Firm?  I can't find them anywhere, and I need them for...uh...moral support!
PH: They've been ejected from the building, Carlito.
CCC: WHAT?  EJECTED?  Why on earth were they ejected?
PH: Andrew Martin assaulted a police officer.  Luckily, there will be no legal action taken, but I thought it best that they take the rest of the night off.
CCC: Assaulted a police officer?  Is that all?  Those guys are lawyers!  They can away with anything, can't they?  Why would you have them ejected??!
PH: Sorry, Carlito.  I've made my decision and I stand by it.  If I were you, I'd go get ready for my match.
CCC: But...but...THAT'S NOT COOL!

Carlito takes a bite of his apple and looks at Heyman, who glares back at him.

PH: I wouldn't do that if I were you.

Frustrated, Carlito storms out of the office, spitting his mouthful of apple on the first poor official who happens to walk by.  But then he has to hurry, because, say - isn't that his entrance music cueing up?

Carlito Caribbean Cool vs. Shawn Michaels

Carlito is not entirely comfortable with this match with his buddies out of the picture, and it shows.  It takes him awhile to even get the match started, as he sticks to the ropes and bails out whenever things start to look tough.  Every time it seems like Carlito is going to suck it up and just wrestle Shawn, he powders out again.  Finally, Shawn prevents one of Carlito's powders, and things start to resemble a wrestling match.  Shawn traps Carlito with chops and arm wrenches and such, taking Carlito apart slowly.  Carlito isn't mounting a whole lot of offense here.  Carlito manages to get in a cheap shot, kicking Shawn in the gut off of a clean break, to take some brief control.  Carlito sends Shawn's head into the turnbuckle, then lays into him with stomps.  Carlito chokes Shawn with his boot in the corner.  The ref admonishes Carlito and Carlito tells him to bugger off, giving Shawn a chance to regain control with some more chops.  Shawn sends Carlito to the ropes and nails him with a back body drop on the rebound.  Carlito rolls out of the ring, clutching his back, and says "fuck this" and starts to walk out.

Shawn's tired of these shenanigans though, and he goes out and grabs Carlito, then chucks him back in the ring.  Carlito tries to scamper out the other side, but Shawn isn't having that either and he drags Carlito back into the center of the ring.  Carlito channels Ric Flair by begging off and then poking Shawn in the eye.  Carlito sends Shawn into the turnbuckle and chokes him some more.  Carlito picks away at Shawn some more with chokes, stomps and elbows, going for as many cheap shots as he can.  Carlito whips Shawn into the ropes and connects with a hiptoss, then follows up with an elbowdrop for two.  Carlito drives his knee into Shawn's throat while the referee counts once again.  He's not getting the idea, ref.  Carlito picks Shawn up and gives him a swinging neckbreaker for another two.  Carlito argues with the ref for a second, then applies a chinlock.  Luckily, Shawn is able to fight out of that fairly quickly with elbows.  Shawn shoves Carlito off into the ropes, and Carlito fells him with a shoulderblock on the rebound.  Carlito gets another running start, hops over Shawn as he drops down, and runs into a drop toe hold from HBK.  Shawn floats over into a front facelock.  Carlito gets up to a knee and tries to fight out with shots to the midsection, but Shawn won't let go.  Carlito gets up to his feet, locks his arms around Shawn's midsection and turns the front facelock into a Northern Lights suplex.  That gets a one-count before Shawn rolls out of it, the front facelock still sinched in.  Carlito gets back up to his feet and tries to power out, but...well...Carlito doesn't power out of a lot of things.  Carlito is finally able to lift Shawn a little off the ground, but Shawn shifts his weight and plants himself back on his feet.  Carlito lifts Shawn again, and this time he's able to throw Shawn off...crotch-first onto the top rope.  Ow.  As Shawn dangles on the top rope, Carlito hits him with a hard shot to the face that sends him tumbling off, but he gets his foot trapped in the ropes.  Shawn is hung upside down, and Carlito bounces off the ropes and nails Shawn with a baseball slide right to the head.  Shawn falls down to the ground outside the ring holding his head.  Advantage: Carlito.

Carlito goes out and continues the assault on Shawn Michaels.  Carlito bashes Shawn's head into the ring steps, then floors him with a clothesline.  Carlito goes for a suplex, but Shawn blocks it, then drops Carlito onto the announce table with a front-layout suplex.  Shawn goes to climb back in the ring, but then changes his mind...and vaults off the ropes with a splash onto Carlito.  Unfortunately, that never works for Shawn, and Carlito rolls out of the way, causing Shawn to smash into the announce table.  Carlito goes around to the other side of the table and stomps Shawn a few times, then snatches the headset from Garth Bishop.

CCC: Shawn Michaels jumping off the ropes and smashing face-first into the announce table?  That's cool!

Carlito tosses the headset back and drags Shawn out from behind the announce table.  Carlito goes to toss Shawn in the ring, but elects instead to hit him with a back suplex on the outside.  Carlito then tosses Shawn in the ring, solidly in control.  Carlito drives his knee into Shawn's back repeatedly, then applies a surfboard.  Shawn has a tough time breaking the hold, but as is the custom, Carlito breaks it himself when he almost gets pinned.  Carlito hits a hard kick to the back and goes for the pin, but Shawn kicks out.  Carlito starts to pick Shawn up and Shawn starts fighting back with right hands.  Carlito is staggered, but as Shawn goes for a dropkick, Carlito catches his feet and drags him to the center of the ring, then applies a Boston crab.  Shawn tries to fight out, but Carlito has the hold in tight.  Shawn finally makes it to the ropes.  Carlito drags Shawn back to the center of the ring, but Shawn kicks him off.  Carlito goes back over to Shawn, who quickly wraps him up in a small package.  Carlito kicks out, gets up and nails Shawn a couple of times, then sends him to the ropes.  Shawn ducks a clothesline and drops Carlito with a flying forearm.  Both men are down, and the referee begins his count.

Carlito slooooowly gets to his feet...and right as he does, Shawn kips up.  Shawn fires off on Carlito, then hits an inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline.  The JESUS POWER~ is strong in this one.  Shawn gives Carlito an atomic drop, then climbs to the top turnbuckle, but Carlito pushes the referee into the ropes and Shawn racks himself.  Carlito climbs up and goes up for a superplex, but as he comes off the top rope, Shawn shifts in midair and lands on Carlito.  That gets a two-count.

Shawn goes for a suplex, but Carlito slips out, pushes Shawn into the ropes and pulls him into a rolling reverse cradle for two.  Shawn approaches Carlito and gets a knee to the midsection.  Carlito whips Shawn to the ropes and goes for a backdrop, but Shawn counters with a piledriver.  Shawn goes to the top and delivers the flying elbow, then starts tuning up the band.  Shawn goes for some Sweet Chin Music, but Carlito catches Shawn's foot, spins him around, and nails him with a DDT.  Carlito covers, but only gets two.  Carlito brings Shawn to his feet and goes for the Overdrive, but Shawn flips him out of it.  Shawn goes the Superkick again, but Carlito ducks it, flips Shawn over and goes for a pinning combination.  Carlito has a handful of tights, but Shawn still manages to roll over at two.  Shawn applies his own pinning combination and pulls his own handful of tights to get the three.

Shawn Michaels pinned Carlito Caribbean Cool after a Victory Roll in 0:18:12.
Rating: ****

Post-match, Shawn briefly celebrates his victory, but Carlito kicks him in the nuts.  Carlito leaves the ring cursing as Shawn clutches his scrotum in pain.

It must be time for intermission, because we cut back to Sean Edmunds.

SE: Well, folks...I'm backstage with a man who didn't make it onto tonight's pay-per-view card, but who still has...er...something to say.

The camera pans over, revealing Sean Edmunds' guest: GENE SNITSKY!

GS: Hi, Sean.  I like your hair.
SE: Um...thanks.  So what is it you had to say?
GS: Well, Sean...I just wanted to say that I'm not upset about not having a match tonight.
SE: And why is that?
GS: Because it gave me a chance to show you how much I appreciate your abilities as an announcer.

Edmunds doesn't know how to respond.

GS: As a sign of my gratitude, I'd like to tell you...a joke.

Edmunds is, somehow, even less comfortable than he was before.

GS: How many dead babies...does it take...to paint a house?

Edmunds winces.

GS: It depends...how hard...you throw them!

Edmunds is disgusted, but suddenly he sees Snitsky's expression change from one of goofiness to one of rage.  Edmunds immediately gives the fakest laugh ever.  Good thing Snitsky is Snitsky, because he buys it.

GS: Did you like my joke?
SE: Yeah, Gene, it was great.  Well, I'd better go now.

Edmunds turns and starts to walk away as fast as he can without running.  Still looking back at Snitsky, he doesn't see the open door in front of him and he smacks right into it.  Knocked dizzy, Edmunds falls over.  Snitsky glances down at the knocked-out Edmunds.

GS: That...WASN'T...my...FAULT.

Steven Richards vs. Matt Hardy

This match is pretty similar to the one these two had on Rush a few weeks back.  Matt Hardy is his usual technically sound self, and Steven is his usual technically sound but completely mentally unsound self.  The two go back and forth for the first few minutes of the contest.  Steven isn't making his own counts this time, which is nice, but he seems to be under the impression that Matt is about 400 pounds, because every time he executes a move that requires lifting, he has to psyche himself up for it, and when he successfully executes it, he's totally pumped about it.  Richards is being awfully weird (big shock there), but in spite of that, he is able to put on a pretty competent performance.  Richards stays in control for a couple of minutes, but Hardy takes control after blocking a suplex and dropping Richards across the top rope.

The Sensei of Mattitude controls things for awhile, not allowing Richards the chance to do anything insane.  Matt asserts his control through his technical prowess, keeping Richards off-balance (more so than he usually is, anyway).  When Matt goes to the second rope for a legdrop, though, Richards rolls out of the way.  Richards takes over on offense with his "400-pound opponent" insanity.  After a vastly overhyped bodyslam, Richards indicates that it's over, and he hooks Matt up for the Stevie-T.  Matt fights it, though, and manages to twist around and counter into a backslide.  That gets two.  Richards gets back up and goes for a Steviekick, but Matt catches his foot, spins him around, and hits a kick to the midsection.  Matt sets up for the Twist of Fate, but Richards pushes him back into the corner and nails him with some shoulderblocks, then an eye gouge.  Richards sets up Matt on the turnbuckle for a superplex, but after Richards climbs up, Matt is able to fight out and knock Richards down to the mat.  Hardy leaps off with a flying legdrop to get the three-count.

Matt Hardy pinned Steven Richards after a flying legdrop in 0:09:01.
Rating: ***

Post-match, Richards throws a fit and has to be led away by officials.

Speaking of throwing a fit, Juventud Guerrera is backstage.  No one is willing to interview him, but he's hijacked a camera.

JG: Tonight, the Juice will finally be redeemed!  All the weeks of disrespect from Ultimo Dragon will come to an end tonight, when the Juice beats the hell out of that...guy who's going to get the hell beat out of him, Ultimo Dragon!  And then...oh ho ho...and then the Juice will be the brand-new WWL Cruiserweight Champion!  YEAH!  The Juice will not be stopped tonight by Ultimo Dragon!  Ultimo Dragon may be able to beat the Juice by taking cheap shots, but the Juice will triumph in the end!  The Juice ALWAYS triumphs in the end, baby, YEAH!  The Juice will prove himself tonight!  Ultimo Dragon has nothing that can beat the Juice, and the Juice doesn't care how he has to do it, the Juice will walk out of You Only Live Twice with the Cruiserweight Title!  There's no one who can stop the Juice!  ALL RIGHT!  The Juice will—

"IF YA SMELLLLLL...WHAT THE JUICE...IS COOKIN'!"  That's Juvi's entrance music.  He's just been interrupted by his own entrance.

JG: The Juice will win!  The Juice wrestles now!

Juvi heads out to the ring for his match.

Cruiserweight Title: Ultimo Dragon (c) vs. Juventud Guerrera

Juvi is ready to start this match as soon as he hits the ring, and it's evident -- he's bouncing up and down, psyching himself up.  The instant Dragon enters, Juvi charges...and Dragon simply backdrops him over the top to the outside.  Juvi seethes on the outside as Dragon finishes his entrance.  Juvi comes back in a few moments later and gets Dragon with a flurry of punches, but Dragon quickly gets the upper hand and tosses Juvi over the top once again.  Juvi springs up and re-enters the ring, going after Dragon once again.  Dragon reverses an Irish whip, but Juvi snags the ropes on the rebound, proud that he didn't fall into Dragon's trap.  As Juvi gloats about that, Dragon clotheslines him right back out.  Juvi is fuming.  If this were a battle royal, he'd have lost three times already.  But he manages to collect his head and avoid a fourth dumping once he re-enters the ring.

Juvi gets back in and he and Dragon lock up.  Juvi eschews his usual showboating for awhile and puts on some luchador-y goodness with Dragon -- armdrags and hiptosses aplenty.  I find that my ability to describe the luchador style is a bit lacking, so let's just leave it at that.  Juvi takes the early advantage with a springboard dropkick out of a wacky luchadoric predicament.  Juvi covers for two, then twists Dragon's arm around into an odd submission hold.  Wish I could think of a name for it -- I just see it in my head.  It's sort of an overhead arm wrench combined with an upper-body scissors.  Dragon fights out of it after a while, but after a quick exchange, Juvi quickly puts him back down with a spinning DDT.  Juvi floats over into a cover, Dragon kicks out, and Juvi quickly transitions back into his hold from before.  Dragon fights out of the body scissors, gets his feet planted, then does a front flip back to a standing position.  Dragon twists Juvi's own arm around, kicks him in the midsection, spins around and kicks Juvi in the head.  Still with a hold on the arm, Dragon flips Juvi onto his back and goes into a cover.  Juvi kicks out.  Juvi gets back up and tries to twist the arm around, but Dragon gets the better of him, then releases the arm and hits a huracanrana.  Dragon hooks the leg, but Juvi kicks out again.  Both men get back to their feet.  Juvi rakes the eyes and sends Dragon to the ropes.  Juvi ducks his head for a backdrop, Dragon kicks at him, Juvi catches the foot, and Dragon nails an enzuigiri.  Cover gets another two.

Juvi is far from beaten, but Ultimo Dragon is now in firm control.  Dragon comes off the ropes and hits Juvi with a Shining Wizard as he tries to get up.  That gets another two.  Juvi tries to fight back as Dragon pulls him up, but Dragon counters a clothesline and hits a crucifix for another two.  Juvi gets to his feet and charges, but Dragon simply moves to the side and Juvi tumbles through the ropes to the outside.  Juvi starts going berserk about getting thrown out of the ring again, and Dragon tries to take advantage by going for an Asai moonsault to the outside.  Juvi sees it coming and he hits the deck, but Dragon sees him hit the deck and he aborts the dive at the last second, instead simply dropping to the outside and attacking Juvi.  Dragon goes to throw Juvi back in the ring, but Juvi hits a knee to the gut and rams Dragon into the barrier.  Dragon staggers away from the barrier and Juvi quickly hooks him up and nails him with a Juice Spill on the outside.  OW.  Dragon is down, and Juvi rolls back into the ring.

The referee starts his count, but Dragon isn't moving.  At nine, Juvi realizes he's about to lose his opportunity at the title, and he rolls back out, grabs Dragon, and chucks him in the ring.  He's waited a little too long, though, and the cover only gets two.  Juvi demonstrates remarkable patience, though, and rather than get angry, he brings Dragon to his feet and scoops him up for the Juvi Driver.  Dragon slips behind and starts to lock in the Dragon Sleeper, but Juvi reverses and manages to lock in a Dragon Sleeper of his own.  Dragon's still a little woozy after his spill (har har) on the outside, and he can't easily fight out of the hold.  Dragon is having trouble staying on his feet...then he's down to one knee...then he's down to a seated position.  Juvi's wrenching the hold in further.  The referee, seeing Dragon weakened, raises the arm, and it drops.  He raises it again, and it drops.  He raises it a third time...it stays up!  Dragon struggles to his feet.  Juvi tries to wrench the hold in further, but Dragon is fired up.  Dragon hits some elbows to the midsection, and when Juvi's grip weakens, Dragon quickly hooks the arm around the head, jumps up and delivers the Asai DDT!

But Dragon is too hurt to cover and both men are down.  Dragon slooooowly crawls over to cover Juvi, but he kicks out.  Dazed, Dragon applies a Dragon Sleeper of his own to Juvi.  Juvi struggles himself, but he's closer to the ropes than Dragon was and he manages to grab hold.  Both men are dazed as they drag themselves to their feet.  Dragon goes to grab Juvi, but Juvi suddenly pulls a Juice Spill out of nowhere and both men are down again.  Juvi is up, though, and instead of covering Dragon, he stands over him and...Juice's Elbow coming!  The Juice bounces off the ropes, runs over to Dragon, and goes for the Elbow...but Dragon rolls out of the way.  Juvi sells missing the elbow, and quick as a flash, Dragon runs to the ropes, springs off the second one and delivers an Asai Moonsault!  Dragon hooks the leg and GETS THE THREE!  Juvi kicks out, but it's just a fraction of a second too late, as Ultimo Dragon retains the Cruiserweight Title.

Ultimo Dragon pinned Juventud Guerrera after an Asai moonsault in 0:13:09.
Rating: ** ½
(Ultimo Dragon retained the WWL Cruiserweight Title.)

Post-match, Juvi is just in shock -- he can't believe he lost.  He isn't even able to rant hardcore.  Not yet anyway.  He'll certainly have something to say about this later.  Right?

Chris Jericho is backstage with Jerichoholics Anonymous.

CJ: Tonight...Y2J will make HISTORY!  Do you realize what an opportunity this is, Disco?
DI: I sure do, Chris!
CJ: After I defeat Diamond Dennis tonight, I will be THE longest-reigning World Heavyweight Champion in WWL HISTORY!  Just picture it.  Just imagine...Y2J becoming an even HUGER star than he was before!  It will truly be a milestone moment in the storied history of professional wrestling.  Do you concur, Lenny?
LL: I certainly do, Chris!
CJ: And just think about the benefits it will hold for you guys!  Disco, you can tell everyone that you're the personal bodyguard of THE greatest World Heavyweight Champion in WWL history, the Ayatollah of Rock 'n Rollah himself!  And Lenny, you can tell all the ladies, or...whatever...that YOU are the stunt double for the Highlight of the Night, a HUGE rock star and a spectacular physical specimen!  It will truly be a glorious day for all.
DI: I agree!
LL: I agree as well!
CJ: And it all starts when I beat Diamond Dennis tonight.  Truly, this will be an evening to be remembered forever, and the wrestling world will never...EEEEEEVER...be the same...a-gain!

Wrestling Royalty vs. Big Show & Kane

Wrestling Royalty are eager to get this one over with as quickly as possible.  As soon as Kane makes his entrance, they immediately jump him and start beating on him before the Big Show has even walked through the curtain.  But they aren't about to beat Kane in just a minute, and Big Show lumbers his way to the ring as fast as he possibly can.  Big Show gets his hands on Wrestling Royalty and hits them with a double noggin-knocker.  Kane gets back up, and he tosses Jeff Jarrett out of the ring while Big Show chucks JBL out.  While Wrestling Royalty regroup outside the ring, Big Show does his arm-lifting pose and Kane blows his pyro.

After a bit of discussion between Jarrett and JBL, JBL enters the ring, and Kane gets in with him to begin the match.  Hossamania runs wild for a couple of minutes, with Big Show and Kane generally dominating whoever they should happen to be in the ring with.  JBL and Jarrett make tags whenever they can, but their opponents have the size advantage and the psychological advantage, so Wrestling Royalty can't seem to get off the proverbial ground.  Kane and Big Show are able to isolate JBL for a minute or two, trapping him in their corner and pounding away at him with hard shots (Kane) and open-hand slaps (Big Show).  But alas, all good things must come to an end, and so it is with Kane when he scoops up JBL, only to be hit by a chopblock from Jarrett, causing JBL to fall on top of him (the referee, at this point, was seeing Big Show out of the ring after a tag).  JBL quickly goes over and tags Jarrett, who comes in and immediately goes to work on the knee he just clipped.  JBL and Jarrett now make frequent tags, focusing on the knee of Kane to keep the Big Red Machine off that vertical base.

Now, Kane is pretty much impossible to pin, but if he can't get up, he doesn't pose nearly the same kind of threat.  So JBL and Jarrett continue working the knee -- often when the other is legal in the ring (JBL distracts the ref and Jarrett drags Kane's leg to the apron and hammers on it).  JBL manages to lock Kane in a half Boston crab, really wrenching the hold in, but Kane isn't about to submit, and he manages to make the ropes.  Kane tries to crawl over to Big Show for a tag, but JBL makes the tag first and Jarrett comes in to stomp Kane's knee and stop his crawl.  Jarrett baits Big Show, and as the ref restrains Show, JBL comes in and he and Jarrett drag Kane back to the center of the ring.  JBL leaves the ring and Jarrett applies the figure-four.  Kane is now in even more pain.  Kane tries to punch out of the hold, but Jarrett holds on.  Kane tries to goozle out of the hold, but Jarrett knocks his hand away and then sits back enough that Kane can't try it again.  Finally, Kane is able to turn the hold over, but Kane's been weakened, and Jarrett turns it back over.  Kane sinks to the mat.  The referee goes to count Kane's shoulders down, but at two, he sits up, fire in his eyes.  Jarrett doesn't like that look.  Kane plants his hands on the mat and starts scooting back to his corner, dragging Jarrett with him.  Kane reaches out and makes the tag to Big Show.

Jarrett, seeing Kane make the tag, releases the hold, scrambles to his corner and tags JBL.  JBL comes in and immediately gets floored by Big Show.  Big Show fights off both members of Wrestling Royalty with clotheslines (of both the single and double variety).  Big Show nails Jarrett with a headbutt and he rolls out of the ring.  JBL kicks Big Show in the gut and starts hammering away at him, but Big Show shoves him away.  As JBL goes back over, Show hits him with a savate kick.  Big Show stalks JBL as he gets up, then goozles him as he gets to his feet.  Jarrett comes back in and hits Big Show in the back, but he doesn't even feel it.  Jarrett backs away from Big Show and bumps right into Kane.  Kane and Big Show both grab Jarrett and DOUBLE CHOKESLAM.  Jarrett has just been wiped out and Kane kicks him out of the ring.  JBL gets back up, sees that Jarrett is dead, and goes wide-eyed.  He tries to beg off, but Big Show will show no mercy.  Big Show lays into JBL with open-hand slaps, then tosses him halfway across the ring.  Big Show sends JBL to the ropes, then tosses him high in the air on the rebound.  Big Show tags out to Kane for some more punishment.

Kane and Big Show take advantage of JBL being temporarily without a partner, but wouldn't you know it, JBL is one resilient bastard.  Sidewalk slam from Kane gets a kickout.  Legdrop from Big Show gets a kickout.  Big boot from Kane gets a kickout.  Gorilla Press from Big Show gets a kickout.  Kane goes up top and connects with a flying clothesline for another two.  Kane winces as he gets back up to tag Big Show and he's favoring his left arm...looks like he might have landed on it wrong.  Big Show picks up the slack while Kane recovers, hammering away at JBL.  JBL is on Dream Street, but he just won't stay the hell down.  Big Show grabs JBL and delivers the Hogglogg, then covers, but JBL gets his foot on the rope.  Big Show is tired of this shit, and he pulls the strap down and signals for the Show Stopper.  JBL sees it coming, and he hides behind the referee.  Big Show simply picks up the ref and moves him out of the way, but that takes the ref's eyes off the action, and JBL takes advantage by kicking Big Show in the nuts.  Kane tries to get in the ring, but JBL charges as he's coming through the ropes and knocks him to the outside with a shoulderblock.  Kane gets back to his feet, but KABONG!  Jarrett is out of nowhere with a guitar shot to the head!  The referee is over by Big Show and he doesn't see it.  JBL bounces off the ropes as Big Show gets to his feet, still holding his injured groin, and he takes Big Show's head off with the Clothesline From Hell.  JBL covers to get the three.  Wrestling Royalty just stole this one.

Wrestling Royalty (Jeff Jarrett and John Bradshaw Layfield) defeated Kane and The Big Show when Layfield pinned Show with the Clothesline From Hell in 0:17:50.
Kane suffered an elbow injury. He will be out for approximately 1 card.
Rating: *** ¾

Post-match inspection shows that Kane did indeed suffer an elbow injury coming off the top with that flying clothesline, but it's minor and he shouldn't miss much action because of it.  Anyway...time for the main event!

MAIN EVENT
World Heavyweight Title: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Diamond Dallas Page

We've heard from both Diamond Dallas Page and Chris Jericho tonight, and they're both dead-set on walking out of You Only Live Twice with the WWL World Heavyweight Title.  But it looks like Jericho is taking some precautions, as he's got Jerichoholics Anonymous with him at ringside.  DDP takes some time to jaw at Jerichoholics Anonymous and Jericho tries to hit him from behind, but DDP turns around and Jericho slooooowly backs off.  The ref rings the bell to start the match.

Jericho approaches DDP with trepidation, but unlike Carlito earlier tonight, he doesn't shy away from the battle in its opening minutes.  Jericho and DDP spend those opening minutes grappling with headlocks, arm wrenches, and the like.  After a little bit of that, Jericho starts trying to get an edge by firing off with right hands as DDP has him trapped in an arm wrench.  That gives Jericho a brief edge, and he reverses the arm wrench.  But DDP fires back, and Jericho backs away from the assault to grab the ropes as DDP reverses the arm wrench.  We repeat this sort of pattern for another minute or so.  As DDP backs Jericho to the ropes another time, Jericho gets the ropes to break the hold, then hits a hard knee to DDP's midsection.  A few more knees and Jericho has DDP backed to the corner, where he goes after DDP with chops.  DDP soon reverses and nails Jericho with some chops of his own.  DDP whips Jericho to the opposite corner and charges in with a clothesline.  DDP sends Jericho on another whip to the turnbuckle and starts to charge in with a clothesline, but Jericho powders out.

Jericho tries to take a break, but DDP stays on the attack and follows Jericho out.  Jericho sees DDP coming and begs off.  As Jericho backs away, Lenny Lane tries to sneak up on DDP, but DDP turns and catches him.  Lenny backs away, but Jericho nails DDP from behind.  DDP goes down and Jericho assails him with stomps.  Jericho hauls DDP to his feet and rams his back into the edge of the ring, then hammers on DDP's back.  Jericho chucks DDP into the ring and chokes him to a four-count, then covers for two.  Jericho hammers away at DDP's head as he tries to cover up.  Jericho pushes DDP face-first into the corner and drives his knee into DDP's back.  The referee pulls Jericho off, and while he's occupied with that, Disco Inferno chokes DDP against the buckle just to be a prick.  Jericho kicks DDP in the back, pulls him out of the corner, and hits a back suplex.  Jericho covers with one foot, and of course THAT doesn't ever work unless your name is Kevin Nash, and Jericho's name isn't, so...it doesn't work.  Jericho kicks DDP in the back hard as he tries to get up, then gloats about it because he's a bastard.  Jericho tries to kick DDP again as he's on the mat, but DDP blocks it, takes Jericho down, and gets on top of him to unleash a flurry of punches.  Jericho slips out and tries to escape, but DDP stays on him.  DDP sends Jericho off the ropes and nails him with a backdrop.  Jericho staggers to his feet, gets clotheslined back down, repeat repeat.  DDP knocks Jericho down again with a back elbow.  DDP whips Jericho to the corner, then catches him in a sidewalk slam as he stumbles out.  DDP hooks the leg and gets two.

Jericho's brought to his feet and DDP brings him down with a snapmare, then applies a chinlock.  Luckily, that doesn't last too long.  Jericho gets to his feet and fights out with some elbows to the gut.  Jericho escapes the hold and bounces off the ropes, but runs right into a back elbow from DDP.  DDP is firmly in control.  Disco Inferno jumps up on the apron, and DDP goes over and grabs him.  Jericho gets up and charges, but DDP moves and Jericho clocks Disco.  DDP rolls Jericho up, but he kicks out.  Both men regain their feet and DDP floors Jericho with a heck of a clothesline.  DDP covers, another two.  DDP picks up Jericho and connects with a vertical suplex for another two.  A couple of elbowdrops from DDP, then he locks in a short arm scissors.  That's not enough to garner a tapout from Y2J, but it does soften him up a little.  Jericho manages to turn the hold over into a pinning predicament, forcing DDP to break the hold and kick out.  DDP goes back to the arm, but Jericho nails him with a couple of punches and a kick to the gut.  Jericho rams DDP's head into the turnbuckle, then goes up for a 10-punch.  At about five, DDP drops Jericho across the turnbuckle.  DDP connects with an inverted atomic drop, and Jericho goes down.  DDP bounces off the ropes, but Lenny Lane grabs his leg.  DDP turns to tell Lenny to piss off, and Jericho gets back up and dropkicks DDP in the back, sending him out of the ring.  Jericho distracts the referee while Lenny and Disco stomp the shit out of DDP.  Jerichoholics Anonymous then chuck DDP back in the ring.

Finally, Jericho has managed to assert some control.  Jericho chokes DDP, then gets him up and connects with a snap suplex.  He then comes off the ropes with a hard elbowdrop to DDP.  Jericho gets DDP up and hits a Breakdown (full nelson faceslam) for a two.  Jericho chokes DDP in the ropes, and when the ref admonishes him, Disco and Lenny take advantage with a stereo rope choke to DDP.  Jericho hits his running-leg-across-back-driving-throat-into-rope move (SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE HELL THIS IS CALLED), then goes for another one-foot pin, which of course doesn't work.  DDP pulls himself up with the ropes, and Jericho hits him in the back again.  Jericho delivers a backbreaker, then remains with DDP draped across his knee for a submission move.  DDP's in pain, but thanks to the chanting of the crowd, he eventually fights out by punching Jericho in the face repeatedly (hey, whatever works...).  DDP is free of the hold, but it took a lot out of him, and Jericho goes right back on the offensive.  He bounces off the ropes and hits DDP with a flying clothesline, then tries to get a quick pinfall off that.  Only a two-count.  Jericho grabs the legs and it looks like he's going for the Walls of Jericho, but DDP quickly kicks him away.  Jericho goes over as DDP gets up and DDP suddenly grabs him in Diamond Cutter position, but Jericho escapes and goes to hide behind the ref.  As DDP tries to get at Jericho and the ref's in the middle, Disco Inferno sneaks up onto the apron and takes off one of the turnbuckle pads.  THIS looks familiar -- an exposed turnbuckle pad was what sealed DDP's fate the last time these two went one-on-one.  Jericho pokes DDP in the eye and whips him into the exposed buckle, but DDP sees it and stops himself.  Jericho charges in and DDP catches him around the waist and stunguns him face-first onto the exposed buckle!  Jericho's been knocked for a loop, but by sheer luck he tumbles out of the ring.

DDP takes a moment to rest while Jericho lies unmoving outside the ring.  The ref begins his count and DDP, not wanting to win by countout, goes out and picks Jericho up.  As DDP lifts Jericho's head, we can see Jericho has been busted wide open.  DDP sends Jericho into the ring and covers him, but Jericho manages a kickout.  DDP has retaken control.  A tilt-a-whirl slam gets two for DDP.  A front flapjack gets two.  A powerslam gets two.  Jericho fires some shots to DDP's midsection, bounces off the ropes, and runs right into a sleeperhold.  Jericho is getting sleeeeepy...verrrrry sleeeeeepy...but at least the blood flow to the gash on his head is slowing.  DDP gets Jericho to the ground, but Jericho starts turning into the hold, doing whatever he can to fight it.  Jericho manages to get back up to his feet, and he grabs the referee's shirt in an attempt to get some leverage.  As the ref tries to get Jericho off him, Y2J cleverly nails DDP with a mule kick right to the groin.  Both men are down.

Both men get back up and have a brief slugfest.  DDP whips Jericho into the ropes and lowers his head for a backdrop, but gets a DDT.  Jericho says it's over, and he goes to apply the Walls of Jericho to DDP.  DDP fights it, but this time he can't stop Jericho from getting the hold in.  The crowd is trying to will DDP on, but Jericho's going after his back again, and he can only hold out for so long.  DDP is trying to make it to the ropes, but Jericho has the Walls in good.  DDP raises his hand to tap, then brings it down...but changing his mind in an instant, he catches it with his other hand.  DDP summons a last burst of energy and makes it to the ropes.  The crowd goes wild.  Jericho is upset, but as DDP takes a breather, Jericho drags him back to the center of the ring and locks in the Walls again.  The hope of the crowd sinks.  DDP tries to make it to the ropes, but he can barely crawl now.  Jericho is gushing blood, but he seems to be thriving on the pain and using it to crank the Walls in even tighter.  DDP once again raises his hand to tap...but once again he changes his mind.  The hand clenches to a fist, and DDP pounds the mat.  His eyes, which had been shut tight with pain, open wide.  Jericho can't see what's happening on the other side, but he doesn't like the way the crowd is reacting to it.  DDP seems to be drawing on his strength reserves.  DDP pushes himself up from the mat, and using every ounce of strength in his body, he kicks Jericho off.  Jericho falls forward and his bloody face hits the middle turnbuckle.  Jericho tries to shake the cobwebs out while DDP, barely able to stand but filled with an unknown power, gets back to his feet.

Jericho turns, takes one look at the determination on DDP's face, and starts trying to beg off, but nothing doing, pal.  DDP lets fly with a barrage of punches, hammering Y2J from pillar to post.  Where is this coming from?  Jericho blocks a kick and spins DDP around, and he does his usual clothesline counter, but Jericho ducks under it and runs to the ropes.  Jericho is back on the rebound, and here's the Flashback NO COUNTERED WITH THE DIAMOND CUTTER!  DDP just pulled the Diamond Cutter out of nowhere!  But he landed hard on his back and he can't cover right away.  DDP pushes himself up and throws an arm across Jericho.  One...two......thrSHOULDER UP.  DDP took too much time -- just barely too much time.  DDP gets up to his feet, and Jericho does the same.  DDP goes for the Diamond Cutter again, but Jericho shoves him away.  As DDP walks back to Jericho, WHAM STANDING ENZUIGIRI.  Both men are down again.  Jericho eventually manages to fling himself into a cover.  One...two.....NO KICKOUT.  Jericho staggers to his feet, runs to the ropes and soars off with the Lionsault, but DDP gets his knees up.  Jericho is down and DDP is getting back to his feet.  DDP gives the sign for the Diamond Cutter.  DISCO ALERT!  Disco Inferno is in the ring!  DDP flattens him with a right hand.  Disco goes down and the referee tells him to get the hell out.  DDP turns back to Jericho TITLE BELT TO THE FACE.  Jericho tosses the belt out to Lenny Lane, who must have slipped it to him in the confusion.  Jericho covers DDP and hooks both legs.  One.  Not like this.  Two.  NOT LIKE THIS.  THREE.

Chris Jericho pinned Diamond Dallas Page after hitting him with the title belt in 0:24:02.
Rating: *** 1/4
(Chris Jericho retained the WWL World Heavyweight Title.)

The crowd erupts into boos.  After all that, Jericho had to cheat to retain the title.  He isn't even able to celebrate.  Disco and Lenny enter the ring and lift Jericho to his feet, draping the WWL World Heavyweight Title over his shoulder.  Jericho must be happy about his victory, but he barely knows where he is right now.  The referee checks on the downed DDP and Jerichoholics Anonymous try to hold up their leader as You Only Live Twice goes off the air.


Card rating: *** 1/4
AzraelPosted on 08/21/05 at 04:58:06

I would have thought Martin and Mason would've won. Quite frankly, I really didn't remember the Dudley Boyz were in WWL until the six-man tag. Still a good match though.

If there is any justice in this world, DDP will not win.

Cheap 9/11 heat. Amazing. Rhyno comes out and I assume this is going to be a whuppin. Actually, Hassan's holding his own. The Gore through the barricade's a cool spot, even though Daivari came back pretty quickly. Sandman, huh? I'll see what you do with him before I comment.

Mason shouldn't be worried about that police officer. Lawyers are above the law. Right? ...right?

Shocking. L.A. Park continues to be the greatest wrestler in the world, beating two men on his own week after week. And he didn't even get his pre-match dance this week. I am however worried that they'll beat the Dudleys whenever they wrestle and get the belts.

Michaels wins, but not convincingly or cleanly. Plus the groin shot after leads to future feud. Quality.

Snitsky just finds himself in the middle of trouble. And I kinda laughed at his joke again. I'm probably going to hell now.

Hardy/Richards is just kinda there, even though super Richards was pretty funny.

The Juice! And he's in his incoherent rambling mode (pretty much just everyday Juvy). Good match too, with Ultimo Dragon retaining. Hopefully, this feud continues as well.

Pretty good tag match. Show and Kane beat JBL and Jarrett down, but the heels come back with trickery and strategery. Good finish too, as it doesn't make anyone look weak and actually makes JBL a little stronger as he knocked down Big Show with his lariat.

Great main event. Jericho pulled out a bunch of stops, a continuation of a previous match, even a really good fake finish with the Diamond Cutter. But Jericho retains and all is well in the world.

Great PPV.
CarlzillaPosted on 08/21/05 at 05:12:15

I really really really wanted The Juice to win, I'm not the biggest Juventud Guerrera fan in real life, but man in your fed he's the freakin' man.

I'm also a fan of L.A. Park, and unfortunatly that means that I have to be a pseudo-fan of The Cat as well. I hope they take the tag titles and taht L.A. Park finds a real partner soon.

I'm glad that Jericho won, I really like your Jericho character. I can't stand DDP as he bores me, so that probably played into my enjoying the result as well.

Great read as usual.