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DWF 05/11/07 - riding you like a Coach all the way

91Posted on 06/23/05 at 00:53:26

Kurt Angle pinned Test with the Olympic Slam in 0:08:46.
Rating: *** 1/4

Kurt Angle has been waiting a while for his match with Sean O'Haire. O'Haire
has REALLY been looking forward to that one, and finally it will happen at Fall
Brawl. Angle considers O'Haire to be an insult to everything that is great
about America, highlighted by his costing O'Haire and Rob Van Dam the World
Cup of Wrestling a couple of months ago. Everyone else meanwhile considers
Angle to be an idiot. And we had to listen to some more of his stupid rhoteric
today about how America is the best and every other country sucks, blah blah,
and challenged any "alien scum" to face him today. The challenge was answered
by Canadas Test who gave him everything he had. Test is a great veteran of the
DWF having been in the company since the start and is a former Television
champion, but on this night, Angle had him all the way, taking victory with
comparitive ease.

O'Haire though had some words of his own, saying Angle only did the pro
American deal as a vain attempt at acceptance for the first time in his life,
and bitterness that people difference from him can truly experience success.
Doubtless this won't help Angle from not being rubbed up the wrong way by
O'Haire.

Number-One-Contenders-Match:
The Rock'n'Roll Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) defeated
Edge & Christian (Edge and Christian) when R. Gibson pinned Christian with the
Flying Legdrop in 0:11:24.
Rating: *** 1/4

The match between the Rock'n'Roll Express and Edge & Christian was for a
valuable title shot in two weeks time. Both teams are very popular and both
teams are former champions. Tonight it was victory for Morton and Gibson after
Ricky Morton had taken several minutes of punishment. No shame for Edge and
Christian in this loss, who showed their class with handshakes all round
afterwards. For the Rock'n'Roll Express, a chance for a second tag title reign
when they take on the ever disfunctional Psychoanalysis.

Larry Zbyszko pinned Kid Kash with the Shoulderbreaker in 0:06:28.
Rating: ****

John Cena, being completely unnecessary in his evilness, continues to pick on
Larry Zbyszko. Why? Well we'd find out in due course. First the little matter
of Zbyszkos match today with Kid Kash. Coach told Larry before the match that
he wouldn't be accompanying him to ringside as he had a prior engagement to
take care of. No matter, Larry hardly needs any advice Coach has to give him
and scored another impressive victory. It was at this point John Cena appeared
on the video wall with Coach, who had been, how shall we say, restrained
backstage (with ropes and stuff). Cena had apparently written to Coach
pretending to be an obsessed female fan with the hots for him, and proceeded
to read out Coach's lovelorn responses (stuff like "I want to ride you like a
Coach" etc etc, utterly pathetic). Zbyszko was mildly irritated whereas Coach
was completely humiliated. Cena cited that he thought Zbyszko was a prude and
that Coach was a geek, and he didn't like their sort, demonstrating with
totally unnecessaryness.

Pretty Perfect (Owen Hart and Curt Hennig) and Rhyno defeated
Bobby Eaton, Devon Storm and Rob Van Dam when Rhyno pinned D. Storm with the
Gore in 0:05:26.
Rating: *** 3/4

Six man tag action took place today with a little Survivor Series reunion as
the pairings of Pretty Perfect and Rhyno once again took on Rob Van Dam, only
this time Van Dam had Bobby Eaton and Devon Storm in the mix. In the end, the
devastating power of Rhyno won through during the invariable pier six,
smacking Storm with the Gore to score a decisive win. Pretty Perfect will be
doubly pleased, as they move further up the rankings, knowing a tag title shot
could well await them once Psychoanalysis drop the belts. And that could be
sooner rather than later.

Chris Jericho made Doug Furnas submit to the Lion Tamer in 0:10:40.
Rating: **** 1/4

Chris Jericho hasn't forgiven Brian Pillman for their altercation at Survivor
Series which cost their entire team the match. Despite both being fan
favourites, they have no favouritism for each other. Jericho began by daring
Brian Pillman to make an appearance, no doubt hoping he would so they could
renew their fight from eight days ago. No sign of Pillman, but there was sign
of Jerichos opponent for tonight, the highly talented Doug Furnas, a former
tag and TV champion, both on two occasions. It was a real dog fight between
the two with neither man giving much ground until the gamey veteran that is
Chris Jericho saw his chance, took it and got the win.

Backstage meanwhile Psychoanalysis were interviewed about their seperate
rivalries right now. O'Haire gave his thoughts on Angle as was mentioned
earlier, while Pillman said that at Fall Brawl, he'd happily do Jericho and
get rid of those pesky tonsils, albeit with his bare hands, and serve them up
to him on a plate - literally. When the pair were asked about the tag team
titles, it almost seemed they'd forgotten about them. Asides from their title
defense last week, matches for them seem to be thin on the ground right now.
And maybe it's just crazy talk, but there might have been an air of dissension
between the two. Or perhaps that's just bitterness for their individual enemies
showing through. That said, they will be defending in two weeks time...

Handicap-Match:
Los Guerreros (Chavo Classic and Mando Guerrero) defeated Jody Fleisch when
Classic pinned J. Fleisch with the Chavobomb in 0:10:34.
Rating: *** 1/2

Matt Hardy continues to try and make Jody Fleisch' life a misery, now booking
him in a handicap match designed to hurt him. Chavo Classic and Mando Guerrero
were the opponents and despite the fine efforts of Fleisch, the numbers simply
overwhelmed him and for once, Los Guerreros got themselves a clean victory,
as ridiculous as the challenge was. They didn't care, but they're always
happy to lie and steal their way to a win. Hardy meanwhile laughed to himself
backstage, clearly with no intentions of letting the issues with Jody Fleisch
drop.

Rey Mysterio pinned Eddie Guerrero with the 619 in 0:13:16.
Rating: *** 1/4

Rey Mysterio has himself a shot at the Intercontinental title at Fall Brawl,
and it's a title he has never won. "The Rock" Brad Armstrong meanwhile has no
time for him as far as he's concerned and voiced his dissaproval on the Kings
Court today, saying he didn't want to waste his time with some roody poo
candy assed midget. Kanyon also pressed home the question of why Brad was the
only man from his Survivor Series team not celebrating last week and Brad
again stated that The Rock did not have time to deal with trailer park trash.
Brad doesn't half seem to be digging at people on both sides of the face/heel
boundary lately, maybe he really has got this Rock thing down to a tee.

That midget that he doesn't have time for though was in fabulous form today
against a man he has had problems with lately, Eddie Guerrero. Eddie himself is
a former Intercontinental Champion but Rey has been a house of fire as of late
and completed a superb victory in an excellent fast paced contest using his
patented 619 move, a move which some might argue is far more electrifying than
Brad Armstrongs version of the Peoples Elbow, and a move that Brad is going to
have to be ready for at all times in three weeks.

No-Countout-No-DQ-Cage Match:
Dynamite Kid defeated Alex Wright by escaping the cage in 0:11:20.
Rating: **** 1/4

So Dynamite Kid has himself a title shot once again at Fall Brawl, taking on
Don Muraco. For the former champion, Dynamite has his work cut out for certain
against the man he has never faced. Muraco knows meanwhile he has beat just
about everyone there is to beat besides Dynamite and a personal goal awaits
him. Muraco certainly said as much, coming out to the ring at the outset of
the show, but was more focused on the vicious chairshot that Dynamite had
given Muraco at the end of last weeks show. Muraco said that he had to make a
choice there and then as to who would win the big number one contenders match
and it was because of that shot that he elected that Dynamite win the match in
order for him to give that, and much more, right back to Dynamite.

With that all in mind, Dynamite Kid spoke to Raven backstage to ensure there
was no bad blood under the circumstances of last week. Thankfully Raven was
agreeable to this and said they needed not to fight but to focus their efforts
for the greater good. One can only assume this means taking that world title
away from Don Muraco, irrespective of who wins it.

Still, Muraco already has his plans for Fall Brawl and we saw his manager
Jeff Hardy and commissioner Matt Hardy have a little brotherly reunion of sorts
as Jeff tried to patch things up with his estranged sibling. Matt, of course,
had Snitsky and Heidenreich in tow "ready to burn him" if things went bad.
They managed a sort of mutual agreement to put the past behind them, at which
point Jeff unloaded his reason for all this - put Dynamite Kid inside a steel
cage tonight against Alex Wright. Jeff cited that it was a rivalry that needed
settling, though anyone with half a brain knew it was Muraco and Hardy trying
to get Dynamite worn down and maybe even injured before the PPV.

Matt wasn't keen on the obvious reasons behind Jeffs request, but stated that
as it was a sure fire ratings grabber in his eyes, he'd sanction the match for
tonight. And so it was that Dynamite and Alex Wright found themselves inside
the cage trying to settle the score once and for all. The cage did help
Dynamite somewhat in that any inteference from the massive Ulf Herman at
ringside was fairly neutered, but that didn't stop him from slamming the cage
door onto Dynamites head when victory could have been within his grasp. Wright
continued an uncaring assault on Dynamite, using every piece of steel
surrounding him to full effect. Dynamite came back strong and seemed to have it
all for the taking when upon his attempted escape, Ulf Herman stood ready to
block his path. Thinking better than to take him on, Dynamite stayed on top of
the cage and delivered a huge Swandive Headbutt onto the fallen Alex Wright in
the ring. Again Dynamite clambered up and again Herman stodd waiting. This
time though, out came Raven with some serious scores of his own to settle,
after Herman effectively cost him a title shot last week. Raven duked it out
with Herman with neither man going anywhere, but the distraction was enough to
allow Dynamite to complete his escape and score the win.

And with that win, Dynamite can hopefully now concentrate on his match with
Muraco. Raven meanwhile now has a date with destiny of sorts as he will be
taking on Ulf Herman at Fall Brawl.

Card rating: *** 3/4


Match observations:

Billy Kidman and Steve Corino have made so many inroads this year, and despite
Kidmans recently dropping the world title, victory over Brian Pillman has
gotten him back on track, whereas Corinos continued TV title reign and win at
Survivor Series has spurred him on further. With that in mind, they were
asking questions today as to why they hadn't been granted a world title match
between them and asking them to Matt Hardy. Hardy simply said he'd look into
it. He better...

Finally we saw La Resistance in action of a different sort today as they went
exploring high spots of American culture, in particular a visit to a wine
tasting factory. They said that they tremendously enjoyed the trip and the
wine, even though American wine isn't as good as French, Spanish, Italian and
Portuguese wine, but it is still very good. They might want to keep a clear
head when they defend the Intercontinental tag team titles against the team
they beat for the belt, The Syndicate, at Fall Brawl.
AzraelPosted on 06/23/05 at 23:31:18

I've only read the last few cards of DWF, but it seems like a fun fed. Even with Zbyszko's massive push.

Your Cena is well suited to the whole "unnecessarily evil" thing, but the love letters were a bit much. =)
91Posted on 06/23/05 at 23:53:28

Well it WAS unnecessary.
Snabbit888Posted on 06/26/05 at 10:43:34

I still owe you feedback, but...

I demand DWF updated title histories!

Or any other DWF history.  You know I'm a sucker for that stuff...

So be a sport.  *nubby dog eyes*
Snabbit888Posted on 06/27/05 at 03:03:07

I always forget that Test ever existed.  Hrm.  Angle wins, and Andrew Martin goes back into the obscrurity of my crippled mind.

I hope Rock'n'Roll Express win because Robert Gibson and Ricky Morton have the best lazy eye and mullet respectively in the history of mankind.  I won't be happy until they rule again.

I, too, want to ride John Cena like a Coach.  Er... I mean... fuck me.

I want to see Pretty Perfect as tag champs again, so though I like Psychoanalysis, they need to lose the titles and pronto!  And poor Devon Scissorface can't catch a break.

Jericho wins, Pillman keeps getting crazier, and Psychoanalysis is so close to splitting... but knowing you, it's a SWERVE and they'll be champs for 1838349303 weeks.

Man, Matt Hardy holds a grudge.  How ironic...

Mysterio keeps getting a push and I continue to be pleased with it.  I don't anticipate him beating Brad Armstrong, but it should be a good match.

Raven and Dynamite Kid working together to get the title off of Muraco is interesting, but I don't anticipate it being successful.  The cage match was great and a good way to all but sew up the Dynamite/Wright feud.

Now give me DWF history, buttplug!