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WWL Monday Night Action: 5/2/05

AllPowerfulGARTHPosted on 06/19/05 at 20:06:38

Opening video package, set to "Action" by Powerman 5000 and now containing actual action clips! Which you can't see, but eh.

GB: Welcome to Monday Night Action, WWL fans! We are just 24 hours removed from The World Is Not Enough, THE single greatest pay-per-view event in WWL history!
HTM: And also the first.
GB: Semantics. I'm Garth Bishop, and as you know, I am joined by the Honky Tonk Man. Last night at The World Is Not Enough, we crowned a new World Heavyweight Champion, we crowned a new Cruiserweight Champion, and we set a standard in the world of wrestling today. And we're ready to continue that tonight.
HTM: Paul Heyman has already announced two HUGE events tonight. In one, we'll see the beginning of the tournament for the WWL Tag Team Titles.
GB: And we'll also be seeing a 20-man over-the-top-rope battle royal for the new WWL Intercontinental Title! An exciting night, as usual for—(interrupted)

Cue "Break Down the Walls." The brand new WWL World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho, makes his way to the ring, accompanied by Disco Inferno and Lenny Lane.

CJ: The night was May 1, 2005. Anticipation was high as four men walked into The World Is Not Enough, seeking the most valuable prize in this business...the WWL World Heavyweight Title. And when it was all said and done, there was only one man left standing. Now, that man stands atop the WWL mountain as its finest wrestler...and the WWL will NEVER be the same a-gain! Last night, I single-handedly, by myself, destroyed Shane Matthews and the Big Slow to capture...THIS.

Jericho holds up the WWL World Heavyweight Title belt.

CJ: Take a good, long look at this title belt, because it is what separates me from all of the other assclowns in the WWL. Uh, except you two.

Disco Inferno and Lenny Lane hi-five.

CJ: So take a mental picture, WWL, because this WWL World Heavyweight Title proves that Y2J is one bad mamma jamma. I am a huge rock star, the Ayatollah of Rock 'n Rollah, and the almighty KING of the WORLD, and—

DING DING DING DING DING DING etc. Here come Wrestling Royalty.

CJ: Ah! Mr. Bradshaw Layfield! Mr. Jarrett! It's good to see the two of you out here. You're looking well. But would you care to explain just why in the HELL you have crashed my celebration?
JBL: Whoa whoa there, calm down, compadre. You see, Jeff and I aren't out here to crash your party. We're here to congratulate you.
JJ: That's right, Chris. We figured you wouldn't mind us showing up here during your celebration. I mean, we may not have been invited, but surely you concede that you...y'know...OWE us.
CJ: Hmmmm well. I must agree. After all, I don't know if I could have beaten the Big Show without the...er...moral support you two provided. So hey, what the hell? I invited Jerichoholics Anonymous here...

Disco and Lane hi-five again.

CJ: ...So I imagine you guys can join the party too. I know it doesn't look like much out here, but backstage, we've got champagne, we've got cake, we've got dancing girls, we've got midgets, we've got balloons...we've even got a midget INSIDE a balloon. Now don't ask me how they did it, 'cause I don't know, and hell, I can't even figure out how the little guy is breathing in there, but he's damn sure back there, and—
JBL: Actually, Chris...while we appreciate the invitation, we're looking for something else in terms of a thank-you.
CJ: What? How many opportunities are you going to get to see a midget inside a balloon?
JJ: ENOUGH WITH THE MIDGET ALREADY.
JBL: What Jeff is trying to say is that, since it was our...moral support that helped you WIN that WWL World Heavyweight Title, we think the first title shot should go to a member of Wrestling Royalty.
CJ: Hoo...yeah...well...the thing about that is, I'm REAL tired right now. I mean, I was out all night partying, and having to direct the midget people and the cake people and the ostrich guy...did I mention the ostrich? Because it is TOTALLY—
JJ: Now LOOK HERE, son. I'm getting just a little TIRED of you changing the subject.
JBL: Now you listen up, and you listen good, boy. I like to think I'm a fair man, and I know that last night, not only did you go 25 minutes with the Big Show, you went 20 with Shawn Michaels just prior. So I'm not going to ask you for that title shot tonight. I just want to know for sure that the first person who gets a shot at that title is either myself or Jeff.
CJ: So you just want a title shot sometime in the near future, right? And nobody else gets a shot before you guys, right? Am I getting this so far?
JBL: That's right.
CJ: Well, that sounds fair. Alright, you're on. The first shot at this WWL World Heavyweight Title will go to—

Let the bodies hit the floor. Let the bodies hit the floor. Let the bodies hit the floor. Let the bodies hit the (crash crash) FLOOOOOOOOOOR. Here's Paul Heyman on the entrance ramp.

PH: Pardon me for interrupting. But as I was sitting backstage, I couldn't help but hear you grant someone a shot at the WWL World Heavyweight Title, Chris.
CJ: So what? Oh, goodness gracious! Jericho is granting people title shots just because he happens to be the champion! What sort of mischief will he get into next?
PH: Well Chris, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the title matches around here are not made by you. They're made by ME. And it so happens that I've already got plans in mind for that World Heavyweight Title. You see, Chris, the number-one contender will be determined tonight, in a four corners elimination match. A four corners match, specifically, featuring the four men you beat to win that title - Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, the Big Show...and Diamond Dallas Page.

Jericho stiffens up at the mention of DDP. JBL and Jarrett, however, give us "exasperated."

JBL: WHAT??! That is a CROCK, Heyman, and you know it! There is NO ONE in that locker room who deserves a title shot more than the people in this ring! Jeff Jarrett is the King of the Mountain, and I am a wrestling GOD - and you mean to tell me neither of us gets a title shot?
PH: Oh, well, I'm not saying THAT. You two will both get a title shot tonight. As part of the 20-man over-the-top-rope battle royal for the Intercontinental Title.
JBL: The INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE? Do not insult me, Heyman! You know damn well that I deserve better! I DEMAND to be placed in that number-one contenders match!
PH: You, sir, are not in a position to demand ANYTHING.

Big pop for Paul starting to get irritated here.

PH: You WILL enter the battle royal. And in addition, you WILL NOT get involved in the number-one contenders match. I know you two have problems with the Big Show, but if I so much as see your faces at ringside, neither of you will receive a World Heavyweight Title shot. EVER.

Wrestling Royalty give us "infuriated." Jericho, meanwhile, is in a huddle with Disco Inferno and Lenny Lane.

PH: And Jericho, since I know you're such a big fan of DDP's, you too are barred from interfering in the number-one contenders match. Or you will be STRIPPED of your title.

Jericho gives us "angry." Disco and Lenny are just sort of confused.

PH: Now that that's settled, have a lovely day gentlemen.

Heyman makes his exit. As we prepare to cut to commercial, we can audible hear Jericho yelling "This is all YOUR fault!" at Disco Inferno.

Cruiserweight Title Match: Ultimo Dragon (c) vs. Jamie Noble

Kind of a disappointing opening contest for Monday Night Action. Pretty standard match that could have been better, this one. After a few minutes of substandard action, Ultimo Dragon gets the win after the Asai DDT in his first Cruiserweight Title defense - and also, the first title defense in WWL history.

Ultimo Dragon pinned Jamie Noble with the Asai DDT in 0:11:06.
Rating: ** 3/4
(Ultimo Dragon retained the WWL Cruiserweight Title.)

Post-match, Juventud Guerrera runs in to attack Dragon, but Dragon is too quick for him. Dragon gets the better of a slugfest and nails a spinning heel kick, causing Juvi to roll out of the ring and escape.

Shortly thereafter, we have some backstagery. Two random officials are standing around, purportedly talking about something, when Juventud Guerrera storms over.

JG: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? I tell you guys, that friggin' Ultimo Dragon is really working the Juice's last nerve! Last week, he has the nerve to laugh at the Juice, then last night, he jumps in and steals - STEALS! - the Cruiserweight Title right out of the Juice's grasp! And now tonight, he just ATTACKED the Juice, completely unprovoked! This is a big crock of BS! The Juice will not be treated this way! The Juice will not stand for being mocked by this...ah...this...mocking...jerk, Ultimo Dragon! The Juice will teach him a lesson in respect when he gets his Cruiserweight Title shot, by...means...by which the Juice has yet to think out, but which will undoubtedly be amazing to all those who witness them! Ultimo Dragon will see! You'll all see! The Juice is going to—

The officials start to sneak off.

JG: HEY! Come back here! The Juice has not yet finished venting his rage to you, you ungrateful motherf—

Cut to commercial.

GB: Welcome back, WWL fans. It's my understanding that coming up here in just a moment, we're going to have a first-round matchup for the WWL Tag Team Title Tournament.
HTM: But we don't know who's in it.
GB: That's right. Paul Heyman has said there will be eight teams entered in the tournament, but he has yet to tell us just which teams are entered, or for that matter, who will be facing each other! So it ought to be an interesting tournament.
HTM: Let's see who team number one is.

"DON'TYOUWANNABEMEEEEEEE?" That's a song by Chris Jericho, so it looks like the first team is associated with him...and here come Disco Inferno and Lenny Lane, or Jerichoholics Anonymous, as they prefer to be called (or as Jericho prefers them to be called, whichever). Now time for team numero dos...

EEEEEEEeeeeeeeeBOOMBOOMBOOM. "GET UP GET UP GET UP DROP THE BOMBSHELL..." The Dudley Boyz! Well now, this is getting interesting.

Tag Team Title Tournament, First Round: Jerichoholics Anonymous vs. the Dudley Boyz

Right off, Jerichoholics Anonymous don't look terribly enthused about facing the Dudley Boyz. Just 24 hours ago, Disco Inferno got his ass handed to him by the Dudleyz, and suffice it to say, Lenny Lane is not exactly a more capable ally than Hassan & Daivari were. Still, Jerichoholics Anonymous show themselves to be a reasonably capable team by remaining alive for longer than anyone would have suspected, even if they are on the defensive for a lot of the match. They even manage to isolate Bubba Ray for a brief time by making frequent tags and choking him in their corner. Eventually though, Bubba gets his second wind and tags out to D-Von, and it's all downhill from there. Whassup headbutt to Disco puts him out of commission briefly. Lenny Lane tries to recover, but he gets a neckbreaker from D-Von and a Bubba Bomb from Bubba. Bubba tosses Lane out of the ring as Disco staggers to his feet. D-Von is ready for him aaaaand...3-D! D-Von covers Disco to get the win and send the Dudley Boyz on to the second round of the tournament.

(Tag Team Title Tournament):
The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley) defeated Jerichoholics Anonymous (Disco Inferno and Lenny Lane) when D-Von pinned Inferno after the Dudley Death Drop in 0:12:43.
Rating: *** ¾

Backstage...

SE: This is Sean Edmunds, and I'm here with Carlito Caribbean Cool. Carlito, I have to ask you - what's the deal with your vendetta against Shawn Michaels?
CCC: Vendetta? Carlito doesn't have a vendetta against Shawn Michaels.
SE: I ask, you see, because last night, you cost Shawn his match against Chris Jericho, effectively costing him the WWL World Heavyweight Title in the process.
CCC: What're you talking about, mang? Is that all you remember from last night? Because what Carlito remembers is Shawn Michaels chasing him out of the building.
SE: ...Yes, because you cost him his—
CCC: Carlito isn't finished! After Shawn Michaels chased Carlito out of the building, Carlito was just trying to make his escape from that crazy man, but before Carlito could get away, Shawn Michaels took a two-by-four and smashed out Carlito's windows. Do you have any idea how much it is going to cost to repair Carlito's car?
SE: Uh...
CCC: No, of course you don't, because you aren't paid enough to afford an automobile as fine as Carlito's. But that's all right. The point is that Shawn Michaels crossed the line when he attacked Carlito's car. Now, Carlito has to drive around with duct tape and plastic wrap for windows. And that? That's not cool. In fact, that is SO not cool that Carlito is pursuing legal action against Shawn Michaels for his destruction of Carlito's property.
SE: Legal action.
CCC: Did Carlito stutter?
SE: It just seems to me that that's a bit harsh.
CCC: Well, Shawn Michaels didn't smash your car's windows, did he? If you had to deal with what Carlito has had to deal with since Shawn Michaels' totally uncalled-for attack, you would understand. But then, you probably don't understand much about being cool, do you, Sean?
SE: I don't like the direction this is taking.
CCC: Well, Carlito has only one thing to say about that...

Carlito takes a big bite out of his apple. As he does, Edmunds runs away. Carlito simply looks after him, swallows his bite of apple, and shrugs.

CCC: How rude.

Back out to the ring, here comes Lamont. Oh JOY.

L: Ladies and gentlemen, may I proudly present to you the greatest entertainers in the WWL...L.A. Park and Ernest "The Cat" Miller!

"FUNKY'S ON A ROLL...FUNKY'S ON A ROLL..." Park and the Cat make their way to ringside. The Cat dances all the way, but Park displays some self-control. As they enter the ring, the Cat has a mic.

EM: Somebody call my momma! Last night at The World Is Not Enough, the Ernest "The Cat" Miller Dance-Off proved just who is the FUNKIEST in the WWL! Now, the Cat had no trouble showing up that punk Scotty 2-Hotty, but then he decided to lay his hands on the Cat!
L: Oh no he di-n't, Cat! Oh no he DI-N'T!
EM: And I was worried! I was worried that the WWL fans might all go home unhappy! Unhappy that they didn't get to see me dance!
L: A disaster, Cat! It would've been a tragedy!
EM: But that's when I was rescued by a kindred spirit. A man whose path is different from mine, but who shares one passion with me - dancing!
L: He can dance, Cat! He can dance! I seen it!
EM: But now, the rest of the WWL doesn't stand a chance, because the two GREATEST entertainers in the world of wrestling have joined forces! And just to show all of you what we can do, we're going to dance for all of you fans right here tonight! Hit my music!

Cue "Somebody Call My Momma." The Cat and L.A. Park kick off a dance routine that draws massive boos from the audience (and endless praise from Lamont, of course). But luckily, we are spared a full dance routine. The crowd's boos suddenly turn to cheers as Scotty 2-Hotty hits the ring with a chair. Lamont sees him coming and yells to the Cat and Park to look out, and they quickly bail out of the ring before Scotty can get to them. Scotty shouts after the dancing duo as they beat a hasty retreat.

Backstage, a camera has somehow gotten into Chris Jericho's party. In the background, we see all manner of strippers, midgets and balloons, with random folk milling about. Disco Inferno is trying to impress one of the strippers with his dance moves, but she isn't having it. Dean Malenko is talking to another stripper, who is visibly asleep. The camera pans across the room, and we see Jericho holding up a beer bong as Lenny Lane drinks from it.

CJ: Go! Go! Go! Go!

Lenny finishes his chug and stumbles around woozily. La Resistance walk onscreen.

CJ: Rene! Sylvain! Bonjour! I'd offer you guys some cake, but we're starting to run low...
LL: LET THEM EAT CAKE!
CJ: Oh, alright, what the hell. Go nuts, guys.

La Resistance speak to each other in French. What they are saying appears in subtitles at the bottom of the screen.

RD: See? I told you not all Americans are pigs.
SG: I will agree with you, as long as the cake does not have coconut.

La Res walk offscreen, followed by Lenny Lane. Jericho looks after them for a second, then turns back around and finds himself face-to-face with Muhammad Hassan. Khosrow Daivari is behind him.

CJ: Muhammad! Glad you could make it!
MH: Spare me. I'm not here for your party.
CJ: Suuuuuuure you aren't. Look, I understand you two have an image to maintain. But if you want some girls and cake sent to your locker room, I can hook you up.
MH: That is NOT what we're here about.
KD: (shouts something incomprehensible in Farsi)
MH: We need to talk about last night.
CJ: Yeah, it was too bad you guys lost. I really thought you had Diamond Dennis winged.
MH: We DID have DDP winged. And we had the Dudley Boyz winged. But YOUR sorry, incompetent excuse for a sidekick ruined everything for us!
CJ: Ooh...yeah...sorry about that. I don't keep him around to win matches. Look, I had nothing to do with that match. It was all Paul Heyman. If I had any say in it, I would have done something.
MH: Heyman. I can't say I'm surprised.
CJ: Hey, I know what it's like to get the shaft from that guy. I mean, after tonight, I might have to actually defend my title against Shane Matthews, or the Big Slow, or even...ugh, even Diamond Dennis. All because of Heyman! You know, just between you and me, I'd MUCH rather defend my title against you than against that loser Diamond Dennis.
MH: Alright, Jericho. You're off the hook. I know that filthy weasel Heyman was responsible for our loss last night.
CJ: Good, glad to hear it. Now, if you want to stay for the party, I can—
MH: And it's good of you to say you'd rather defend your title against me. Because if you do...your days as World Heavyweight Champion are numbered.

Hassan and Daivari storm off.

CJ: God damn party poopers. Somebody bring a rum and cola for the Ayatollah of Rock 'n Rollah!

PTOO! "I spit in the face of people who don't want to be cool!" Here comes Carlito, one of the 20 participants in the upcoming battle royal for the new Intercontinental Title. But it looks like that match isn't going to be starting right away, as Shawn Michaels rushes out and tries to catch Carlito! Carlito bails out of the ring as Shawn chases him. Eventually, officials manage to stop Michaels and drag him away from the ring (he isn't in the battle royal) as we cut to commercial.

Coming back from commercial, we see Gene Snitsky making his entrance. Most of the participants are already in the ring, waiting for the match to start. Snitsky is followed by Wrestling Royalty, and then the final participant, Kane.

20-Man Battle Royal for the WWL Intercontinental Title: Carlito Caribbean Cool, Chris Sabin, Dean Malenko, Ernest "The Cat" Miller, Funaki, Gene Snitsky, Goldust, Jeff Jarrett, John Bradshaw Layfield, Juventud Guerrera, Kane, Khosrow Daivari, L.A. Park, Matt Hardy, Muhammad Hassan, Rhyno, Rico, Scotty 2-Hotty, Shannon Moore, Steven Richards

And we're off! Wrestling Royalty go right after Kane, but he fights them off with some help from Rhyno. Matt Hardy is slugging it out with L.A. Park, Scotty 2-Hotty and Shannon Moore are double-teaming Gene Snitsky, Juventud Guerrera is working over Chris Sabin, Dean Malenko is tangling with Rico, Muhammad Hassan and Khosrow Daivari are brawling with Goldust and Funaki, Steven Richards is trying to dump Carlito out and Ernest Miller is pretty much avoiding everyone.

Kane, with Rhyno's help, fights off JBL and Jarrett. With those two not actively threatening him, Kane goes on a tear. Chokeslam for L.A. Park. Chokeslam for Rico. Daivari tries to break up a chokeslam on Hassan, but Kane grabs him too and chokeslams the both of them. Kane then picks up Daivari and hurls him over the top to make him the first elimination of the match. Dean Malenko comes over, eats a big boot, and gets tossed by Kane to make the second elimination. Kane's next victim is Goldust, who is grabbed by the throat and chokeslammed over the top to the outside. Kane now goozles JBL as he staggers over, but Jarrett runs up and clips Kane's knee. Wrestling Royalty work over Kane again and push him toward the ropes. Snitsky comes over to assist, and Carlito and Juvi soon follow suit. The combined effort of all five is finally enough to send Kane over the top to the outside. Kane is not happy about this. Jarrett trash-talks Kane from inside the ring, giving Snitsky a chance to come from behind and dump Jarrett. Jarrett immediately flees from Kane upon elimination. JBL turns, sees that Jarrett has been eliminated, and asked Snitsky what the hell just happened. Snitsky simply replies that (what else?) it wasn't his fault.

At this point, the match finds itself in a groove of sorts, with everyone finding an opponent and pairing off. Funaki charges at JBL, but JBL runs him over and absolutely launches him out of the ring. Elsewhere, Matt Hardy and Steven Richards are going at it. Matt hooks up Steven for the Twist of Fate, but he fights out and sets up Matt for the Stevie-T. Matt then fights out of THAT into an attempted Side Effect, but Richards elbows his way out. Matt stumbles back and Steven goes for a clothesline, but Matt ducks, turns back around, and clotheslines Steven out. Scotty 2-Hotty nails Ernest "The Cat" Miller with his facebuster, then sets up for the Worm to a big pop. Scotty gets the W-O-R-M part, but as he reaches the opposite side of the ring, L.A. Park charges at him. Scotty is ready for it, though, and he dips the shoulder and backdrops Park out. Scotty takes his eyes off the ring as he jaws at Park, allowing the Cat to get back up and send Scotty sailing out with a martial arts kick. The Cat starts dancing to celebrate, but ends up eating a Sudden Impact from Rico. Matt Hardy picks up the Cat and gives him the Twist of Fate. Sabin then hauls Miller to his feet and pushes him into a Gore from Rhyno. Miller is pretty much dead on the mat.

Juvi grabs Moore and tosses Shannon Moore him over the top, but Moore hangs on. Moore springs to the top rope and dives at Juvi, but Juvi ducks underneath him. Moore hits the mat and goes into a roll to get back to his feet. Juvi charges, so Moore backdrops him over the top. Juvi hangs on, though, and does the old "point to temple to tell everyone how smart you are." That never works, of course, and Moore delivers a dropkick to send Juvi off the apron to his elimination. Juvi is not pleased and has to be dragged away by officials. Once that's taken care of, Rhyno ducks a Muhammad Hassan clothesline and backdrops Hassan out. Rhyno turns and runs smack into a big boot from Snitsky. JBL comes over and gets a faceful of big boot as well. Snitsky is building momentum here. Pumphandle Slam to Carlito. Pumphandle Slam to Matt Hardy. Moore foolishly goes after Snitsky, leading to his getting hurled out. Snitsky next picks up Rico and dumps him out as well. Chris Sabin goes after Snitsky, but Snitsky no-sells, picks Sabin up over his head, and tosses him out onto Moore and Rico. Snitsky gives a trademark "heel growl of assured match control" to the crowd. Bad idea. Snitsky's dominance comes to a sudden end as JBL gets back up and flattens Snitsky with the Clothesline From Hell. JBL wastes no time hustling Snitsky back to his feet and hoisting him over the top. JBL then turns around right into a Gore. Rhyno is still tired after being nailed by Snitsky, so everyone in the ring is down.

With everyone else on the mat, the Cat (he's alive!) gets back up and, not believing his luck, decides to be a complete fucking idiot and dance again. Everyone else quickly gets back up and quadruple-teams the Cat, beating him senseless. Rhyno and Matt Hardy then toss Miller out to bring it down to the final four -- JBL, Rhyno, Carlito and Matt.

The heels (JBL and Carlito) regroup in one corner while the faces (Rhyno and Matt) regroup in another. Then both sides come out swinging. The faces get the early advantage (as they are wont to do), but when they briefly focus on Carlito, JBL recovers and takes down both with big shoulderblocks. JBL nails Matt with a powerbomb, then takes Rhyno down with a big boot. Meanwhile, Carlito just sort of chills, letting JBL do his thing. JBL tries to pick Rhyno up and toss him out, but Matt is back up and he nails JBL from behind. Matt manages to get JBL over the top and onto the apron, but before he can knock him off, Carlito comes from behind and tosses Matt. JBL slides back in under the bottom rope and suggests that he and Carlito double-team Rhyno. Carlito agrees, but JBL is not a trustworthy individual. The instant Carlito turns his attention to Rhyno, JBL grabs him by his afro and chucks him out.

That makes the final two JBL and Rhyno. JBL takes the early advantage, stomping the downed Rhyno, but Rhyno fights back and eventually evens things up with a big spinebuster. With JBL down, Rhyno takes a big risk and goes to the top rope (WHY??!), but JBL catches him, climbs up, and brings Rhyno down with a devastating Last Call from the second rope. JBL is sure he has this one won, and he gets cocky as he calls for the Clothesline From Hell, waiting for Rhyno to get up. Rhyno staggers to his feet and JBL charges, but Rhyno drops back down and JBL's own momentum carries him over the top to the outside, making Rhyno the winner and new Intercontinental Champion.

20-Man Battle Royal for the vacant WWL Intercontinental Title:
Rhyno won a 20-man Battle Royal:
x Kane threw out Daivari after the Chokeslam in 0:01:02
x Kane threw out Malenko after a big boot in 0:01:11
x Kane threw out Goldust after the Chokeslam in 0:01:20
x JBL threw out Kane in 0:1:56
x Snitsky threw out Jarrett in 0:02:10
x JBL threw out Funaki in 0:03:50
x M. Hardy threw out Richards in 0:04:30
x Scotty threw out Park in 0:05:45
x E. Miller threw out Scotty after a spin kick in 0:05:52
x Moore threw out Juvi after a dropkick in 0:7:47
x Rhyno threw out Hassan in 0:08:30
x Snitsky threw out Moore in 0:10:01
x Snitsky threw out Rico in 0:10:08
x Snitsky threw out Sabin after a Gorilla Press in 0:10:19
x JBL threw out Snitsky after the Clothesline From Hell in 0:10:36
x Rhyno threw out E. Miller in 0:12:03
x Carlito threw out M. Hardy in 0:16:00
x JBL threw out Carlito in 0:16:42
x Rhyno threw out JBL after a duck-down move in 0:20:51
Rating: *** 1/4
(Rhyno won the WWL Intercontinental Title.)

Rhyno celebrates with the belt as JBL is indignant on the outside. He thought he was starting off his night with a World Heavyweight Title shot, and now he can't even win the IC Title!

Coming back from commercial, we see Goldust back in the locker room, talking to...someone offscreen.

GD: It was a shame the battle royal did not turn out in either of our favors. But as I saw you wrestling out there, I was suddenly filled with...(deep inhale) ideas. So even though neither of us is the Intercontinental Champion, I think we could benefit from being...partners (bites the air). So what do you say? Me...and you...(chuckle) TOGETHER...in the WWL Tag Team Titles Tournament.

Whoever Goldust is talking to, still offscreen does something to indicate his compliance.

GD: Ah...excellent. It's settled, then. After tonight, the WWL will never...EVER...forget the names of (deep inhale)...Gollllldust.

The camera pans over to reveal...

R: Aaaaaaaand RICO! That's just a faaaabulous idea, Goldie! We'll catch you on the flip side!

Miss Jackie, who is accompanying Rico, walks over to Goldust and sort of purrs. While Goldust's distracted, Rico grabs him and plants a big kiss on him. While Goldust gives us "shock," Rico prances off.

R: Byyyyy-e!
GD: Hm. So THAT'S what it feels like to be on this end.

Four Corners Match for a shot at the World Heavyweight Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show vs. Diamond Dallas Page

All four of these guys are faces, so there was a lot of circling to start the match and not a lot of sneak-attacking. Once things actually, get started, the Big Show (predictably) dominates the early going thanks to his massive size advantage. On an occasion or two, he is briefly taken out of the equation, but in general, for the first few minutes of the match he just destroys everyone with headbutts, double clotheslines, and the Big Man Art of just throwing the little people at each other. Eventually, the three little people decide the only way to deal with Big Show is to triple-team him, and triple-team him they do. Big Show still fights them all off for the first few shots at him, but the numbers game eventually gets to him. As Show sets up DDP for the Show Stopper, Mysterio dropkicks Show in the knee, and Shawn Michaels then nails him with some Sweet Chin Music. Show stumbles back and falls across the middle rope. Mysterio gets a running start and connects with the 619, causing Show to stagger back up right into a Diamond Cutter. Shawn Michaels hits Show with his flying elbowdrop and Mysterio Drops the Dime on Show, then all three pile on him to get the pin.

With Show out of there, the match gets a little more scientific. Mysterio finds himself fighting DDP after DDP tosses Michaels out of the ring, and then finds himself fighting Michaels when Michaels re-enters and tosses DDP out. It seems like it's all Mysterio here, as DDP and Michaels are never really fighting each other at this point. Mysterio is getting tired, but he still manages a burst of offense on Shawn after hitting a big bulldog. Mysterio goes out to the apron as DDP gets back into the ring. Mysterio springs off the top rope and goes for the West Coast Pop on Shawn, but Shawn catches Mysterio and won't let him complete the huracanrana. With Mysterio on his shoulders, Shawn falls backward and pushes Rey off...right into a Diamond Cutter. Rey is out, and DDP covers Rey to eliminate him.

That brings it down to Shawn Michaels and DDP. The two of them go back and forth, with neither really getting a sustained advantage. Interestingly, each man works over the other's back -- both had their backs damaged in matches with Chris Jericho, and each man knows to focus on his opponent's weak point. DDP did his damage with a Boston crab while Shawn did his with a Sharpshooter, but both men are able to fight out of the holds they're placed in. Just as things are starting to heat up, Carlito Caribbean Cool saunters down to ringside. This can't be good. As Shawn bounces off the ropes, Carlito casually trips him. But since DDP is a face, he isn't having that, and he goes out of the ring to exchange words with Carlito. Carlito starts off by denying that he had anything to with what just happened, but as soon as DDP diverts his attention for a split second, BAM faceful of apple. DDP is PISSED now, and the referee has to go to the outside and break up the fight. Meanwhile, Shawn gets back to his feet inside the ring...only to be blindsided by Matthew Bloom! The massive Bloom clocks Shawn with a big clothesline as Andrew Martin enters the ring as well. Bloom then hauls Shawn up and whips him right into the waiting boot of Martin. Michaels is down, and the two members of the Law Firm of Mason, Martin & Bloom exit the ring, with neither the ref or DDP noticing that Shawn has been attacked (but with Carlito's message about "pursuing legal action" suddenly making more sense). The ref ejects Carlito from ringside as DDP gets back in the ring. Shawn slooooowly gets back to his feet, and as DDP tries to pick him up for a bodyslam, Shawn somehow manages to slip out and aims a superkick at DDP. DDP catches Shawn's foot, spins him around, and puts him in Diamond Cutter position, but Shawn pushes DDP into the ropes and gets him in a rolling reverse cradle for two. DDP struggles out of the cradle and rolls Shawn into a pinning combination of his own to get a very close three-count.

(Number-One Contender Match): No-Time-Limit-Four Corners Match:
Diamond Dallas Page defeated Rey Mysterio, Shawn Michaels and The Big Show:
x Mysterio beat Show via a springboard legdrop in 0:10:32
x Page beat Mysterio via the Diamond Cutter in 0:15:01
x Page beat S. Michaels via a Victory Roll in 0:23:32
Rating: ** ½

DDP has done it - he is the new number-one contender for the World Heavyweight Title. Carlito gloats from atop the entrance ramp as Michaels sits disappointed in the ring.

GB: Well, I can't say that DDP doesn't deserve a title shot, but what happened to Shawn Michaels just isn't right!
HTM: Hey, that's what Michaels gets for messing with Carlito! Carlito threatened legal action, and he definitely got it from the Law Firm of Mason, Martin & Bloom!
GB: Shawn certainly isn't going to take that lying down - we'll just have to see how he reacts next week! And I can't wait to see how Chris Jericho reacts to the fact that DDP is the new number-one contender! Folks, we're out of time! This is Garth Bishop for the Honky Tonk Man, WWL fans, good night!

Card rating: ***
rey619Posted on 06/20/05 at 17:13:51

A wonderful follow-up to a great PPV. I know it's all semi-booked, but the Battle Royal was a prime example of a good and logical match.

Goldust and Rico pairing up was just awesome, although I predict they will be a comedy tag-team and not really serious contenders.
91Posted on 06/20/05 at 21:11:28

I was wondering after the last PPV whether Jericho could maintain the position of top heel as champion when JBL was getting a large majority of the attention. Suffice to say, you've answered that for the positive.
Snabbit888Posted on 06/21/05 at 00:53:13

Oh that Paul Heyman, with his laying down of the law and what have you.  DDP makes me groan loudly (I can't even believe he was around in GCW at all, let alone I let him get a PPV win), but looks like a sound main event.  And I totally wanna see a midget in a balloon.

Ultimo Dragon gets the obligatory first title defense in successful fashion.  Congrats, Mr. Asai.

Jericholics Anonymous is a sweet little team.  Wrestling needs more Lenny Lane.  But the Dudleyz pummel them and win as was to be expected.

"Let them eat cake!"  That ruled.

Rhyno wins the IC Title... interesting.  Not who I would have expected.  I like Rhyno though, but sweet.

Ewww... didn't want him to win, but I figured DDP would win.  You have a lot of interesting things going on here... needs more Kane though.

I'll be reading, horseface.
AllPowerfulGARTHPosted on 06/22/05 at 04:50:00

A wonderful follow-up to a great PPV. I know it's all semi-booked, but the Battle Royal was a prime example of a good and logical match.
Well...I loves me a good battle royal.  They're probably my favorite matches to book.

was wondering after the last PPV whether Jericho could maintain the position of top heel as champion when JBL was getting a large majority of the attention. Suffice to say, you've answered that for the positive.
I was worried about the amount of exposure I was giving JBL as composed to Jericho.  The trouble with that situation is that JBL needs a lot of mic work to be over, because he's not real exciting in the ring, whereas Jericho is pretty much all-around great at everything.  Hopefully, I can get JBL into a groove where he doesn't have to eat up as much TV time.

Oh that Paul Heyman, with his laying down of the law and what have you.  DDP makes me groan loudly (I can't even believe he was around in GCW at all, let alone I let him get a PPV win), but looks like a sound main event.  And I totally wanna see a midget in a balloon.
What's wrong with DDP?  BANG!

Rhyno wins the IC Title... interesting.  Not who I would have expected.  I like Rhyno though, but sweet.
I was originally going to have someone else win, but changed gears at the last minute...so that could explain that.

... needs more Kane though.
Agreed.
shapyPosted on 06/23/05 at 07:06:19

Didn't read the PPV, but I read this and liked it. It seems that alot of work and effort went into it, that's nice. Kudos for having the fed start with a heel world champ, especially Jericho. I have always loved to start a fed off with heels being on top. Seems easier to book from ther, for me at least anyway. I'll keep reading.