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WWL Rush: 5/1/05 (The World Is Not Enough hype)
| AllPowerfulGARTH | Posted on 05/28/05 at 20:15:51 Opening video package, replete with Celebrity-Deathmatch-themey goodness. SE: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to WWL Rush! We are here liiiiiiiive at the site of The World Is Not Enough, and there's just an hour to go before the fun gets underway! I'm Sean Edmunds, here with Christopher Nowinski. CN: Live, you say? Are you implying that we aren't ALWAYS live? SE: Of course not. I would never say such a thing. CN: Just checking. You understand. SE: Absolutely. Well, we may not be able to do commentary for the WWL's first-ever pay-per-view event, but we've got a little action of our own here on Rush, as the newcomer Carlito Caribbean Cool will make his in-ring debut against Vee-Onahhhhhhh, Matt Hardy! CN: Right you are, Sean! And in addition, we'll also be showing you clips and highlights and all sorts of things of that nature, showing all you WWL fans just how the matches on tonight's card came about! SE: But first, let's send it backstage to Maria the Mic Stand. Maria? Backstage... MtMS: Maria here, backstage with the Big Show. Big Show, your thoughts on your match? BS: That would be matchES, Maria, but I won't hold it against you. See, there's a key difference between me and the three men who remain in the World Heavyweight Title Tournament. Chris Jericho, 200-plus pounds. Shawn Michaels, 200-plus pounds. John Bradshaw Layfield, 200-plus pounds. Big Show...500 pounds. This is three ordinary men against one giant, and no matter how good my opponents are, there is simply no way they take me down. MtMS: (blank stare) BS: What about Jeff Jarrett? Good question! It's no secret that I've had my battles with Wrestling Royalty in recent weeks, and yes, JBL has even pinned me once. But with that World Heavyweight Title as the prize in the end, both of those chumps in Wrestling Royalty don't have what it takes to stop me from taking that strap. You can send everyone from the back down to attack me -- Jeff Jarrett, Gene Snitsky, hell, even throw in Ernest "The Cat" Miller if you want to, it won't make a lick of difference because that title WILL. BE. MINE. Big Show lumbers off. MtMS: Maria here, backstage with the Big Show. Big Show, your thoughts on your match? Commercials. There are more commercials during these shows than I actually bother to point out. But since most of tonight's show is recappage, with only one match before PPV time, it's occasionally relevant to point them out. Some video packagey goodness recaps the four quarterfinal matches of the World Heavyweight Title Tournament from Monday night. Michaels! JBL! Big Show! Jericho! Who will be triumphant! Now here's a video package explaining the premise behind tonight's six-man tag featuring DDP and the Dudley Boyz against Hassan & Daivari...and Disco Inferno. And another video package! This one answers the burning question (nyuk nyuk nyuk), "Why is there a match between Kane and Jeff Jarrett?" Well, after that explanationing, we cut backstage... And here's Rhyno, chuckling about the part of the video package where he ruins Wrestling Royalty's plans and Gores Gene Snitsky, helping Big Show move on the tournament. But wait! Speak of the devil! Here's Snitsky. He walks over to Rhyno and just sorta stares at him with that goofy, sadistic half-smile type thing he has. R: What the hell do you want? GS: Well Rhyno, I was just thinking about what happened Monday night. About how you interfered in my match, costing me my shot at the World Heavyweight Title. R: Yeah? Well maybe you shouldn't have tried to use a friggin' chair on Big Show! Maybe if you hadn't threatened to cheat to beat a friend of mine, I wouldn't have had to get involved! GS: Heh heh. Cheat? Let me tell you something, Rhyno. That chair that was in the ring? I didn't bring it in there. It was brought to me. All I did was pick it up, and you came in and Gored me. So you see, Rhyno...it WASN'T. MY. FAULT. R: Well then it wasn't MY fault that I got involved to balance out those jerkoffs in Wrestling Royalty! GS: And it WON'T. BE. MY. FAULT if I...heh heh...beat you within an inch of your life. R: YEAH? YEAH? Well why don't you put your money where your mouth is, huh? How about it? You and me, tonight, at the WWL's very first pay-per-view! Whaddya think of THAT? GS: Heh heh. Sounds good to me. Oh, and Rhyno...I take it back. R: Take what back? GS: If I do beat you within an inch of your life tonight...WHEN I do beat you within an inch of your life tonight...it WILL be ALL. MY. FAULT. Snitsky leaves. Rhyno stares after him, angry. Like he always is. Time now for a video package. This one hypes the -- God help us all -- Ernest "The Cat" Miller dance-off. Should be a classic, folks. Our last video package recaps the only un-hyped-thus-far match for the PPV, the Cruiserweight Challenge. We also get an explanation of the rules: Eight men. One ring. Pinfalls/Submissions/Countouts/Disqualifications. One man in at a time. Pretty easy. Just like your mother, Trebek. Is it time for the match already? Matt Hardy vs. Carlito Caribbean Cool An impressive debut from Carlito Caribbean Cool here tonight -- so far, all he's pretty much done is get smacked around by Shawn Michaels, so it's good to see he can wrestle too. Matt Hardy puts up a good fight, and at one point looks ready to win it with the Twist of Fate, but Carlito, ever the opportunist, grabs hold of the referee and pulls him in close so Matt can't finish the move. As the ref makes a separation between the two, Carlito sucker punches Matt over the ref's head, then hits a kick to the midsection and follows up with the Overdrive to pick up the win. Post-match, Carlito spits a chewed-up wad of apple on the downed Sensei of Mattitude, just to rub it in. Carlito Caribbean Cool pinned Matt Hardy with the Overdrive in 0:09:45. Rating: *** 1/2 A big ol' video package set to "The World Is Not Enough" by Garbage recappifies the World Heavyweight Title Tournament, as well as a few of the side issues related to it. Then it's PPV time! The World Is Not Enough card: World Heavyweight Title Tournament, Semifinals: Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield World Heavyweight Title Tournament, Semifinals: Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho World Heavyweight Title Tournament, Finals: Big Show or JBL vs. Shawn Michaels or Chris Jericho Cruiserweight Challenge: Chris Sabin vs. Dean Malenko vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Scotty 2-Hotty vs. Shannon Moore vs. Ultimo Dragon Jeff Jarrett vs. Kane Diamond Dallas Page & the Dudley Boyz vs. Muhammad Hassan, Khosrow Daivari & Disco Inferno Gene Snitsky vs. Rhyno Ernest "The Cat" Miller dance-off Predictionization? |
| 91 | Posted on 05/30/05 at 00:23:07 As promised, I'll predict now I know it's all booked. Some of these are a bit vague as I've only read the one show other than this thread, but anywho... World Heavyweight Title Tournament OK, here's my logic in this - JBL received a large proportion of air time on the last show, so he advances to the final, while Show takes a small step down for now for his match with Jarrett. To even the face/heel deal up, Michaels advances. And JBL takes the title, possibly with Carlito popping back out. Cruiserweight Challenge: Chris Sabin vs. Dean Malenko vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Scotty 2-Hotty vs. Shannon Moore vs. Ultimo Dragon Let's go Juventud on this one. Jeff Jarrett vs. Kane By hook or by crook, Jarrett sneaks it out, since I'm thinking Big Show is about to crush him. Diamond Dallas Page & the Dudley Boyz vs. Muhammad Hassan, Khosrow Daivari & Disco Inferno Hassan and co. snatch this one. Gene Snitsky vs. Rhyno Snitsky grabs this one. Ernest "The Cat" Miller dance-off I don't know who'd face him, but Ernest will probably lose in about ten seconds regardless. Predictionization? |