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WWL Monday Night Action: 4/25/05

AllPowerfulGARTHPosted on 05/23/05 at 04:46:44

Very well, foolish human.  Enjoy your video package.  For it could be your last!

GB: Laaaaaadies and gentlemen, welcome to Monday Night Action!  We are just six days away from The World Is Not Enough, the WWL's first-ever pay-per-view event, and the stakes could not be any higher!  I'm Garth Bishop, and with me is my broadcast colleague, the Honky Tonk Man!
HTM: Thankyaverymuch, Garth, and although I'm sure they can all figure it out without much help, we've got a huge show lined up for tonight -- four quarterfinal matches in the World Heavyweight Title Tournament will be taking place!
GB: That's right!  We'll be seeing the conniving JBL go up against the monster Kane!  We'll be seeing the massive Big Show take on the vicious Gene Snitsky!
HTM: And in tonight's main event, it will be Y2J, Chris Jericho, going up against Rey Mysterio!  That ought to be one HELL of a matchup!
GB: And right now, we've got the first tournament match of the evening as Steven Richards battles Shawn Michaels!  Let's go to the ring!

World Heavyweight Title Tournament, Quarterfinals: Steven Richards vs. Shawn Michaels

PTOO!  "I spit in the face of people who don't want to be cool!"  Before the match can begin, Carlito makes his way down to ringside.  He gives Shawn a little nod of condescending acknowledgement before taking a seat at the commentators' table.

GB: Well!  Carlito!  To what do we owe the pleasure?
CCC: You are being graced with Carlito's company because Carlito has something to say about Shawn Michaels.  Last week, Carlito came out and told Shawn Michaels something Shawn could not accept -- that he is no longer cool.  I was just out to tell the truth, mang.  And what happened?  He kicked Carlito right in the face.  And that...that's not cool.
GB: Well, you DID kind of provoke him.  What with the spitting of the apple in the face and all.
CCC: What are you saying?  That Carlito deserved to be kicked in the face?  You know what, that's not cool either!  And I spit in the face of people who don't want to be cool!
GB (thinking fast): But I do WANT to be cool.  I'm just failing at it.
CCC: Uh...Carlito doesn't have time for your riddles!  He has better things to do.
GB: Phew.
HTM: Nice one.
GB: Thanks.
HTM: So Carlito, is Steven Richards cool?
CCC: Carlito doesn't know WHAT the hell Steven Richards is.  But he could be cool, with some work.
HTM: What kind of work?
CCC: Well, for starters, he could stop yelling at things that aren't there.
GB: Yeah, he's been doing a bit of that lately.

What do you mean, I'm wasting space with the commentary?  Are you insinuating that I'm doing it because this match is kind of disappointing?  Because, uh, it is.  It's fun to see Steven Richards lock it up with someone he used to (sort of) emulate, but once the novelty of that wears off, the match kind of drags for a bit.  Once Steven starts ramping up the crazy, things get a bit more interesting.  He starts emulating Shawn's moveset, then starts emulating Shawn's mannerisms (read: prancing).  Ultimately, though, the prancing is Steven's downfall, as he does a bit too much of it and allows Shawn to get back the advantage.  Shawn hits the flying elbowdrop and Sweet Chin Music to end it.

(World Heavyweight Title tournament):
Shawn Michaels pinned Steven Richards with the Sweet Chin Music in 0:12:49.
Rating: ** ¾

Post-match, Shawn and Carlito have a little staredown.  Shawn invites Carlito to come in the ring, but Carlito respectfully declines and starts making his way back to the locker room.  On the way back, he pauses to take a bite out of his apple and spit it in the face of a kid in the audience who is wearing a Shawn Michaels T-shirt.  Shawn doesn't take too kindly to that, but Carlito manages to escape before Shawn can catch him.

Cue backstagery.

JBL: So we've got our plan, right?
JJ: Right.  Big Show and Kane don't stand a chance.
JBL: Tonight we'll show everyone just how unstoppable Wrestling Royalty is.  Big Show and Kane may be a couple of pretty big guys, but we're a hundred times smarter than they are, and that's going to pay off tonight.
JJ: As long as we stick to the plan, the World Heavyweight Title is as good as yours.
JBL: As good as OURS, Jeff.  Even if it's my name on the nameplate, that belt will belong to Wrestling Royalty.  There is NO ONE that can stop us from getting that title, no one at—

JBL stops mid-sentence as he notices Jarrett looking at him funny.

JBL: What's that look for?
GS: Heh heh.

The camera pans to the right to show Gene Snitsky standing behind JBL.

JBL: Uh...Gene!  Just the person I was looking for!  We were just discussing our strategy for tonight, and—
GS: Oh, don't you worry about me, John.  See, I know your plan, and I'm fine with it.  You want me to destroy the Big Show tonight.  And believe me - heh heh - I've got NO problem with that.
JBL: Well great, that's just what I wanted to hear!
JJ: That's right!  We want you to go out there and pummel Big Show, just obliterate him!  You can handle that, right?
JBL: Of course you can!  That's what you do!  Am I right, Jeff?
JJ: Damn right, you're right!
JBL: Alright, so if we've got that settled, then—
GS: BUT...
JBL: But?
JJ: But what?
GS: But after I beat the Big Show tonight and go on to the semifinals at The World Is Not Enough...and if you should happen to beat Kane and go on to the semifinals at The World Is Not Enough...and if I should happen to obliterate YOU on my way to the World Heavyweight Title...

JBL and Jarrett glance at each other nervously.

GS: That WON'T...be...my fault!

Snitsky gives his sadistic/goofy grin and walks off.  JBL and Jarrett continue to look nervous.

Disco Inferno vs. Matt Hardy

Disco Inferno continues to not impress.  Pretty basic match, this one.  Disco can't seem to keep Matt Hardy down, so he just starts cheating blatantly.  Disco chokes Matt in the corner and is pulled off by the ref, and when he tries to go back and do it again, Matt nails him with a kick to the breadbasket, then quickly hits the Twist of Fate to get the win.

Matt Hardy pinned Disco Inferno with the Twist Of Fate in 0:06:43.
Rating: ** ¾

Backstage...

MtMS: Maria here, backstage with Chris Jericho.  Chris, your thoughts on your match?
CJ: Lemme tell you, Maria, I am PUMPED for my match tonight!  Last week, I beat Diamond Dennis, and this week, all I have to do is take down Mr. Ray Io.  I mean, the man is...what?  Four foot ten?  And hell, he probably weighs even less than you do.  Plus, take a look at THIS, baby!

Jericho flexes his previously "injured" wrist.

CJ: Through no small amount of miracle, my wrist is back up to one hundred percent!  Finally, I can do THIS again!

Jericho does the "Queen of England" hand wave.

CJ: The World Heavyweight Title is as good as mine!  And speaking of "good"...my, Maria, you are looking FINE tonight...
MtMS: (blank stare)
CJ: You really don't respond to anything, do you?
MtMS: Maria here, backstage with Chris Jericho.  Chris, your thoughts on your match?
CJ: Feh.  I will not waste my mojo on you.  You are not worthy of receiving Y2J's sperm.  Do you hear me?
MtMS: (blank stare)
CJ: No, of course you don't.

Jericho leaves.  Maria the Mic Stand doesn't really react.

World Heavyweight Title Tournament, Quarterfinals: John Bradshaw Layfield (w/ Jeff Jarrett) vs. Kane

JBL comes to the ring accompanied by Jeff Jarrett, but sends Jarrett to the back as he enters, seemingly making it a true one-on-one contest.  But after a few minutes of fairly unspectacular action, much of it with Kane in control, Jarrett comes back down to the ring, though he refrains from interfering...for a little while.  When Kane goes up top for a flying clothesline, Jarrett grabs his leg to stop him.  Kane kicks Jarrett off, but JBL is able to get back up and throw Kane off the turnbuckle to get back the advantage.  JBL beats on Kane for awhile but eventually Kane regains control.  As Kane motions for the Chokeslam, JBL rolls out of the ring.  Kane goes out after him, and Jarrett sneaks up on Kane.  Kane turns just as Jarrett is about to nail him, and Kane menaces Jarrett as Jarrett begs off.  Jarrett backs off up the entrance ramp as Kane goes after him, but while that's going on, the referee is counting -- and JBL re-enters the ring just before the count of 10.  Kane has been counted out.  And he is PISSED.

(World Heavyweight Title tournament):
John Bradshaw Layfield defeated Kane by countout in 0:11:34.
Rating: ** ½

Kane goes after Jarrett, but he escapes, so Kane turns his attention to JBL.  Kane returns to the ring and beats on JBL for a little bit, but as he goozles JBL for a chokeslam, Jarrett is back and he clips out Kane's knee.  Wrestling Royalty stomp Kane until Big Show comes out and scares them off.

Here's a replay of the vignette for the Law Firm of Mason, Martin & Bloom.  They'll actually wrestle eventually.  One of these days.

"Yo!  It's me!  It's D-D-P!"  Here comes Diamond Dallas Page, for no particular reason.

DDP: I'm not out here to lie to you.  Last week, I got beat.  I got beat by Chris Jericho.  A guy I've been trying to put a hurting on for weeks.  Now, it wasn't a clean loss, but I'm not out here to make excuses, either.  But I am out here to make one thing, and that is a challenge.  Jericho, I know you've got a match against Rey Mysterio here tonight, but that's all right, because I'm not challenging you to a match - I'm challenging you to a fight.  Right here, right now!  If you've got the stones, why don't you make your way down to this ring, so you can FEEL...THE...

AAAALAYYYLEAAAALAYLEAAAAA...here's Muhammad Hassan and Khosrow Daivari.  The hell?

MH: Well, look at this.  How the mighty have fallen.  Last week, DDP, you were in the main event, and this week, look at you - left off the card entirely.  I hope you savor the feeling of uselessness you have now, DDP, because I'm sure this will be the last time for a long time you feel it.  For you, being left out is only an occasional problem.  But because Daivari and I are Arab-AMERICANS, it is a problem WE experience week in and week out - all because of our names and the color of our skin.
KD: (shouts something incomprehensible in Farsi)
MH: This illustrates perfectly just what is wrong with the WWL management...and the American people in general.  You see, Daivari and I are successful - as a team, we are undefeated in WWL competition.  No one has even come CLOSE to defeating us...and yet, once again, this week we are ignored by the WWL and booed by these pathetic, ignorant people!

Crowd boos huge.

KD: (shouts something incomprehensible in Farsi)
MH: And yet, DDP, you and I both know YOU will be back in the spotlight as soon as Paul Heyman can find the time to put you in it!  And these ridiculous fans will cheer you all the way, despite knowing full well that you are a      FAILURE!  You LOST last week!  You LOST to Daivari and me three weeks ago!  You are nothing more than a LOSER, DDP, and yet the American people continue to love you, because your skin is lighter than mine!  It is hypocrisy of the most disgusting kind, and deep down, you and the rest of these pathetic people know it!
DDP: All right, I've had about ENOUGH of you!  You come out here every week, and all you do is bitch and moan about how unfair everything is!  Well, this isn't high school, Muhammad, and complaining isn't going to get these people to like you!  This is the WWL, and here, we make ourselves heard with this!

DDP makes a fist.

DDP: So if you really want to show these people what you're made of, why don't you stop your whining up there on that ramp, and step into this ring!  I'll make sure you're heard, ya jagoff, because in the WWL, there is no sound louder than...

DDP throws down the mic and gives the sign for the Diamond Cutter.

DDP (without the mic, shouting): BANG!

Hassan and Daivari make their way down to the ring.  Hassan almost enters, but stops short.  DDP dares him to come in the ring as Daivari sneaks around and jumps DDP from behind.  DDP fights back, but Hassan is in, and he charges and nails DDP in his lower back (which Chris Jericho focused on last week).  Hassan and Daivari beat DDP down, and Hassan puts him in the Camel Clutch while Daivari shouts at him in Farsi.  Suddenly, the crowd's boos turn to cheers as the Dudley Boyz charge to the ring!  Daivari sees them coming, and he and Hassan quickly get out of dodge.  Hassan is glaring holes in the Dudleyz as he backs up the entrance ramp.

Rhyno vs. Ernest "The Cat" Miller (w/ Lamont)

Another spectacular performance from Ernest "The Cat" Miller.  Miller shows off his funky dance moves, and Rhyno gets bored and Gores the living shit out of him.  Rhyno covers the Cat to put another dizzyingly quick loss on Miller's record.

Rhyno pinned Ernest Miller with the Gore in 0:00:09.
Rating: 3/4*

Wait, the Cat isn't done.  Lamont helps him to his feet and brings him a mic.  Oh, Lord...

EM: Hold on!  Hold on!  Wait just a minute!  I've got somethin' to say!

The crowd seems to say, "We don't want to hear it."

EM: These last few weeks haven't been so good to me.  But I'm not about to give up!  Because I know that I am, without a shadow of a doubt, the greatest dancer in the WWL today!  And I'll prove it at The World Is Not Enough!  I am making an open challenge to anyone in the WWL locker room to come to this ring Sunday night and face me in a dance-off!

The crowd HATES that idea.

EM: Somebody better call my momma!  Hit my music!

Miller's music comes back up and he and Lamont start dancing again.  Mercifully, we cut to commercial.

...And we're back.

GB: THAT is certainly going to be the highlight of our first-ever pay-per-view.
HTM: Might as well push all the other matches down to the bottom of the card.
GB: Well, SPEAKING of the other matches...
HTM: Nice transition there.
GB: Thank you.  Of course, we all know that the World Heavyweight Title Tournament will conclude at The World Is Not Enough, with the semifinals coming early and the final matchup being the main event.  Two men have already advanced to the semifinals tonight, those being Shawn Michaels and John Bradshaw Layfield, and we still have two quarterfinal matches to go, Big Show vs. Gene Snitsky and Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho.  However, we have just received word of several new matches being added to the card.
HTM: First of all, in response to what we just saw a few moments ago, a six-man tag match has been made, pitting DDP and the Dudley Boyz against Muhammad Hassan, Khosrow Daivari and Disco Inferno!
GB: I can understand most of that, but how in the hell are Hassan and Daivari going to co-exist with Disco Inferno, of all people?
HTM: Hey, if they can't, it'll sure be funny to watch.
GB: Indeed it will.  And that won't be the only multi-superstar match at The World Is Not Enough, as eight of the WWL's best cruiserweights will compete in an elimination match to determine the first-ever Cruiserweight Champion!
HTM: I've got the names right here...it'll be Chris Sabin, Dean Malenko, Funaki, Jamie Noble, Juventud Guerrera, Shannon Moore, Scotty 2-Hotty and the Ultimo Dragon.
GB: Hey, two of those men are in our next matchup here tonight.
HTM: Well then, I reckon we ought to mosey on down to the ring, eh?

Juventud Guerrera vs. Funaki

Cruiserweight flippity-flop action once again gets a shit rating from TNM.  My TNM sure hates cruiserweights.  I mean, shit, JBL vs. Kane got a better rating than this, and neither of those men is anywhere near what you'd call a technical wizard.  Sigh.  Juvi thinks this match is going to be easy, and he is wrong.  Funaki seems to have a counter for everything.  The match ends with a counter, though, and suddenly to boot - Juvi catches Funaki out of a cross-body and quickly turns it into the Juvi Driver for the victory.

Juventud Guerrera pinned Funaki with the Juvy Driver in 0:11:29.
Rating: * ½

Juvi finds his way backstage after his victory.

SE: This is Sean Edmunds, here with Juventud Guerrera.  Juvi, once again you have been victorious in—
JG: Hell YEAH, the Juice was victorious!  Did you see the way the Juice beat down that goofball Funaki?  It was freakin' AWESOME, baby, YEAH!
SE: O...kay.  Now Juvi, it has just been announced that—
JG: Took him OUT!  The Juice caught that punk right out of the air, and slammed his head RIGHT into the canvas, just like the Juice has done to everyone else the Juice has encountered!  WOO YEAH, BABY, ain't NO stoppin' the Juice!
SE: But didn't you hear the announcement?  The Cruiser—
JG: What announcement?  The announcement that the Juice just kicked Funaki's ass?  Oh, the Juice heard it, baby, the Juice heard it LOUD and CLEAR!  And then he—

Juvi is interrupted by the appearance of Ultimo Dragon.  They just stare at each other for a second, then Ultimo just shakes his head and laughs at Juvi.  Ultimo walks away while Juvi gives us "enraged."

JG: WHAT THE HELL?  WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO LAUGH AT THE JUICE LIKE THAT?  THE JUICE WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS OUTRAGE!  WHY, THE JUICE OUGHTA...

Juvi walks offscreen, still yelling.  Edmunds just shrugs.

World Heavyweight Title Tournament, Quarterfinals: Big Show vs. Gene Snitsky

Pretty much no hope that this match is going to be clean, but you didn't want to see 20 minutes of mat wrestling from Big Show and Gene Snitsky anyway, did you.  Wrestling Royalty waste little time in getting involved in the match.  Gene Snitsky is a pretty tough guy, so he doesn't really need a whole lot of help, but anytime there's an opening, Jeff Jarrett or JBL sneak in a cheap shot on Big Show.  That isn't really making a huge difference in the match, as Snitsky is a pretty big fella and mean to boot, but it's the thought that counts.  Eventually, the interference gets a tad tiresome.  Snitsky kicks Big Show out of the ring and as Wrestling Royalty stomp him (Snitsky, obviously, is distracting the ref), Rhyno runs down and attacks them.  Rhyno, though, didn't put a whole lot of thought into this, as it's now two-on-one against him.  Rhyno gets smacked around by Wrestling Royalty, but he at least gives Big Show a chance to get back up.  Fat lot of good it does, though, because as soon as Show re-enters the ring, Snitsky is right on him.  As the referee tries to break up the fight between Rhyno and JBL on the outside, Jarrett sneaks away and passes a chair to Snitsky.  Oh noes!  But suddenly, from the entranceway WABOOOOOM pyrotechnics!

GB: HELLFAHRE AND BRIMSTONE, BAH GAWD!
HTM: What the hell is wrong with you?

Kane makes his way to the ring and goes after Wrestling Royalty, and now the referee has THAT to break up.  Snitsky, still operating behind the ref's back, raises the chair to nail Big Show with it, but Rhyno is in out of nowhere and Gores him.  The referee finally returns his attention to the ring long enough to see Big Show give Snitsky the Show Stopper for the win.

(World Heavyweight Title tournament):
The Big Show pinned Gene Snitsky with the Show Stopper in 0:10:07.
Rating: DUD

As Big Show celebrates his win, Wrestling Royalty beat a hasty retreat, with JBL especially nervous about the fact that he now has to face Big Show at The World Is Not Enough.

Coming back from commercial, Wrestling Royalty continue fleeing the arena, when, why look, it's Paul Heyman!

PH: Gentlemen!
JBL: AAAAIGH!

JBL turns and sees that the person talking to him is not seven-feet-plus tall, nor 300-plus pounds, and calms down.

JBL: Oh, it's you.  What do you want?
PH: Well...I can see you're on your way out of here, so I'll make this quick.
JBL: Would you?  'Cause that would be great.
PH: I just wanted to wish you luck at The World Is Not Enough.  Because, if I'm gauging your state of mind correctly, it looks like you're not too enthusiastic about it.
JBL: Oh, that's crazy talk.  Just because I have to face a damn MONSTER of a man who could, and would probably like to, eat me for breakfast.  Or dinner, or brunch, or WHATEVER.  I'm just PEACHY, thanks.
JJ: And also someone else in the finals, John.
JBL: I'M AWARE.
PH: Anyway, you're a busy man, JBL, and I won't hold you up any longer.  You two enjoy your matches at The World Is Not Enough.
JBL: We will, thanks.

JBL turns to go.  Jarrett stops him.

JJ: Wait!  Hold on!  Us TWO?  My man JBL is the only one wrestling at The World Is Not Enough, isn't he?
PH: Gee, Jeff, I'm sure glad you asked.  See, since you didn't have a match set for the pay-per-view, I took the liberty of putting you in one.  After all, I wouldn't want JBL to have all the fun...
JJ: Well, that doesn't sound so bad.  Who's my opponent?
PH: I thought about that, Jeff, and after some pondering, and some reflecting on the events of earlier tonight, I'm thinking that your match at The World Is Not Enough needs just a little more...KANE.

Jarrett is just sort of frozen.

JJ: Oh, no.  Oh HELL no.
PH: So, as I said before, good luck to you two.  You just might need it.

Heyman turns to leave.

JBL: Uh...don't worry, Jeff.  Maybe by Sunday, Kane will have had a chance to cool down.
JJ: Yeah, maybe.

Pause.

JJ: Oh, who am I kidding?  He wants to kill me just as much as Big Show wants to kill you!
JBL: Yes, yes, that is not lost on me.  We need to figure something out.  Let's just get the hell out of here for now.

Exeunt Wrestling Royalty, stage left.

World Heavyweight Title Tournament, Quarterfinals: Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho (w/ Disco Inferno)

Finally, some REDEMPTION in match ratings after the disastrous ratings of the last three matches.  Great match here.  Chris Jericho and Rey Mysterio are both on the top of their game.  However, Jericho has the advantage in the early going thanks to the presence of Disco Inferno on the outside.  Disco gets his shots in when he can, but for the most part, this is a pretty technically sound match.  After enough cheap shots, Disco's interference draws the attention of Jericho's rival, Diamond Dallas Page.  Disco doesn't see DDP coming, and DDP quickly takes him out of the equation with a Diamond Cutter on the outside, making the matchup one-on-one.  When Mysterio almost pins Jericho after Dropping the Dime on him, Jericho rolls out of the ring for a breather.  Well, DDP ain't havin' that, and he grabs Y2J and chucks him back in the ring.  The referee is with Rey when this happens, but you get the impression it wouldn't have been DQ-worthy anyway.  Jericho yells at DDP for putting his hands on him, and Mysterio sees his opportunity and dropkicks Jericho into 619 position.  As Rey calls for the 619, Jericho, thinking fast, grabs DDP through the ropes, forcing the referee to separate them.  The ref is momentarily distracted by DDP as he pulls him away from Jericho, giving Jericho a split-second chance to nail Rey with a low blow that even DDP doesn't catch.  Jericho applies the Walls of Jericho, and though Mysterio fights valiantly, he can't power his way out of the hold and is forced to tap.  Jericho advances in the tournament.

(World Heavyweight Title tournament):
Chris Jericho made Rey Mysterio submit to the Walls Of Jericho in 0:15:28.
Rating: *****

Jericho quickly weasels his way out of the ring before DDP can get his hands on him.  A quick graphic shows us the tournament brackets as they stand now.

Big Show
Jarrett------Big Show
--------------------------Big Show
Rico---------Snitsky
Snitsky
-------------
JBL
Rhyno------JBL
--------------------------JBL
Goldust----Kane
Kane
-------------
Richards
Hardy------Richards
--------------------------Shawn
Shawn-----Shawn
The Cat
-------------
Mysterio
Park--------Mysterio
--------------------------Jericho
DDP--------Jericho
Jericho

GB: Four men remain: The Big Show, John Bradshaw Layfield, Shawn Michaels and Chris Jericho!  In six days, at The World Is Not Enough, one of those four will become the first-ever WWL World Heavyweight Champion!  Folks, we are out of time!  I'm Garth Bishop, for the Honky Tonk Man, saying good night, and do NOT, under ANY circumstances, miss The World Is Not Enough this Sunday!

Card rating: ** 1/4
rey619Posted on 05/23/05 at 12:26:56

I love the witty and sarcastic way you do your writeups, always great to wake up with a laugh. You have an interesting mix of TNA/Raw/SD stars that seem to mix quite well. Sorry to see the DUD rating, but kudos on the 5 stars. I still think Y2J will win this thing.. but it looks like he will face either Big Show or JBL in the finals.. and two heels doesn't click that well, and Big Show vs Jericho? Almost sounds like it will be HBK vs JBL, but we'll see how it turns out.

Maria the Mic stand is as funny as ever, hopefully someone from WWE reads your fed and comes to the same conclusion, that she is worthless.
CarlzillaPosted on 05/23/05 at 14:33:09

Being that I stopped following american wrestling a long time ago, I can't really get 100% into your roster. But the write-ups are pure friggin' gold, I'll definatly be reading your fed more often.
Critic of the DawnPosted on 05/23/05 at 17:25:14

With regards to the cruiserweight matches seeming to get low ratings a lot, what do you have their pushes set at?  Both Funaki and Juvi have Workrates in the 80s in the exports I have of them, so with low pushes they'd seldom be able to put on a highly rated match because the crowd wouldn't care as much.  Workrate has more to do with match quality than Push, but Push is also a factor.  So... um... try pushing your Cruisers more and keeping them mainly in their own division.

Eric "Critic of the Dawn"
AllPowerfulGARTHPosted on 05/24/05 at 06:14:02

Maria the Mic stand is as funny as ever, hopefully someone from WWE reads your fed and comes to the same conclusion, that she is worthless.
Someone from WWE DID figure out she's worthless, and now they're making her deliberately vapid, just like I do (as evidenced by her referring to Edge as "The Edge" a few weeks ago -- apparently that was done on purpose).  Bunch of thieves, I tell ya...

Sorry to see the DUD rating
Heh.  I deserved it, booking Big Show vs. Snitsky.  Heck, I'm surprised it didn't end up in negative stars.  That match was supposed to tell a story, not be very good technically...which is lucky, because it wasn't.

Being that I stopped following american wrestling a long time ago, I can't really get 100% into your roster. But the write-ups are pure friggin' gold, I'll definatly be reading your fed more often.
Gracias.  Take THAT, American wrestling!  Who's the man now?

With regards to the cruiserweight matches seeming to get low ratings a lot, what do you have their pushes set at?  Both Funaki and Juvi have Workrates in the 80s in the exports I have of them, so with low pushes they'd seldom be able to put on a highly rated match because the crowd wouldn't care as much.  Workrate has more to do with match quality than Push, but Push is also a factor.  So... um... try pushing your Cruisers more and keeping them mainly in their own division.
Huh.  I didn't even think about that.  Because I book all my finishes, I didn't see any point in adjusting pushes -- same guy's going to win no matter what, right?  But if they do figure into my ratings, I might monkey with them a little.  I'm not going to change anyone's workrate because I'm trying to be realistic with what I have here (even if what I have happens to be Gene Snitsky, Ernest Miller and Disco Inferno), but a little push tinkering wouldn't throw things out of whack, I reckon...

I have to keep them in their own division, though?  Then who am I going to feed to Snitsky?
rey619Posted on 05/24/05 at 12:46:48

Isn't DUD worse than negative? Or am I badly mistaken now?
Critic of the DawnPosted on 05/24/05 at 16:37:32

On 05/24/05 at 06:14:02, AllPowerfulGARTH wrote:I have to keep them in their own division, though? Then who am I going to feed to Snitsky?
Babies?

Eric "Critic of the Dawn"
AllPowerfulGARTHPosted on 05/25/05 at 04:53:37

Isn't DUD worse than negative? Or am I badly mistaken now?
If Big Show vs. Snitsky gets a DUD, but Sid vs. Kurrgan (yes, I did do this one, years ago...) gets -*****, I'm inclined to believe the latter is worse.

Babies?
I am so embarrassed that I didn't think of that.
rey619Posted on 05/25/05 at 11:45:13

According to my dictionary, DUD means "fiasco", "a miss", "failure".... but it's true a Sid vs Kurrgan match should be a lot worse than Show vs Snitsky... hmm.. it must be possible to get a definite answer on this one. Does anyone have Mike Tenay's phone number?
Critic of the DawnPosted on 05/26/05 at 05:56:24

Negative stars are indeed worse than DUDs.  A DUD is the equivalent of 0 stars, a match with no reason to exist that the crowd couldn't care less about.  Once you get into negative stars, that's when things become painful.

Eric "Critic of the Dawn"
91Posted on 05/29/05 at 13:25:40

Hey, I really enjoyed this one. It was only when I got to the end that I realised I'd read every single word in meticulous detail. Good work mang. I might even make some calls as to the winners in the hype thread, just one all important question - booked or unbooked?
AllPowerfulGARTHPosted on 05/29/05 at 19:11:28

Hey, I really enjoyed this one. It was only when I got to the end that I realised I'd read every single word in meticulous detail. Good work mang. I might even make some calls as to the winners in the hype thread, just one all important question - booked or unbooked?
Booked.  Very, very booked.  Ernest "The Cat" Miller isn't going to job in 10 seconds every time by himself, although I have no doubt he could if he put his mind to it.

And yes, yes, everyone should read the hype thread.  For some reason Action gets about 800 times the attention Rush does.