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World Wrestling League

AllPowerfulGARTHPosted on 04/18/05 at 04:16:20

Okay...so I totally petered out on bringing you hot G.I. Joe wrestling action with the GIJWF.  Sorry about that.  Having run eight years' worth of that league with myself as the only audience, I found it to be an enormous burden to suddenly have to explain everything in such a way that the casual reader would understand it.

But that's all water under the bridge, as now, I bring you the World Wrestling League.  The WWL features NO pre-existing rulesets, NO indy cred, NO random hiring, and NO unbooked matches.  It simply features wrestling as I know it -- sometimes awesome, sometimes lackluster, and sometimes just flat-out fucking ridiculous.

The rules governing the WWL are pretty cut-and-dried.  The league operates under the assumption that one day in early April of 2005, all the wrestling promotions in the world exploded simultaneously, leaving everyone with no choice but to work for me.  The character of me exists in the WWL universe, but he pulls a Vince McMahon and only appears as a lowly commentator, with the on-camera owner-type being Paul Heyman.  Copyrights do not exist in the WWL universe, but deaths and retirements stand as of April 2005.  Titles include World Heavyweight, Intercontinental, World Tag Team and Cruiserweight.  One weekly A-show, one weekly B-show, one monthly pay-per-view, and all pay-per-views are named after James Bond movies.  Just because I felt like doing that.

I chose the WWL roster by taking the current WWE SmackDown! roster, assigning a role to each wrestler on it, and then replacing that person with someone else who fits the same role, though in a few cases, I just kept that person.  This may sound confusing, so here's an example: I designated Luther Reigns as a heel hoss who is sometimes good on the mic but is generally underappreciated.  Who else fits that description?  I looked through the wrestlers in my TNM and picked out a few people who can also be described that way: Abyss, Mike Awesome, Gene Snitsky, Test, Scott Steiner, Lance Hoyt.  Now, I like Luther, but given the choices here, I'd much rather have Snitsky.  Congratulations Gene, you have made the WWL roster.  After a few minor adjustments to even out the face-heel ratio and compensate for certain members of the SmackDown! roster who suck and don't have a suitable replacement (Orlando Jordan, I'm looking in your direction), here is my starting roster:

FACES

Big Show
Bubba Ray Dudley
Chris Sabin
Chris Jericho
D-Von Dudley
Diamond Dallas Page
Funaki
Goldust
Kane
Matt Hardy
Rey Mysterio
Rhyno
Rico (w/ Miss Jackie)
Scotty 2-Hotty
Shannon Moore
Shawn Michaels
Ultimo Dragon

HEELS

Andrew Martin (w/ Clarence Mason)
Dean Malenko
Disco Inferno
Ernest "The Cat" Miller (w/ Lamont)
Gene Snitsky
Jamie Noble
Jeff Jarrett
John Bradshaw Layfield
Juventud Guerrera
Khosrow Daivari
L.A. Park
Matthew Bloom (w/ Clarence Mason)
Muhammad Hassan
Rene Dupree
Steven Richards
Sylvain Grenier

First card a-comin' shortly.  Stay tuned.
VertigoPosted on 04/18/05 at 04:29:51

You used to do a GIJoe league? That's sweet as hell. I had a G.I. Joe fed... but that was when I was younger and I actually played the matches, not on TNM. If you have any of the GIJWF shows archived somewhere, I would give them a read.

As for the WWL, I'm looking forward to it. Dean Malenko is retired, though...
AllPowerfulGARTHPosted on 04/18/05 at 05:54:09

The GIJWF started out with the actual figures and a plastic ring, and it's switched back and forth from that and TNM a few times.  What I do have on TNM has been scattered through the various incarnations of TNM, so I hardly have anything for my most recent build, unfortunately...

And yes, I'm aware that Dean Malenko is retired, but I figure the idea of him un-retiring isn't so far-fetched, as WWE road agents are known to do that on occasion (Lance Storm and Tommy Dreamer are both set to wrestle in the ECW pay-per-view WWE is doing in June, for instance).  I grant certain un-retirement concessions when the wrestler in question is still in relatively good condition, because...well...they're my rules and no one can stop me from making the occasional weaselly move.  I'll try to keep the weaseling to a minimum, though.