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Jody Fleisch presents DWF Clash of the Champions

91Posted on 01/02/05 at 16:41:13

Clash of the Champions XIII, that is. Damn not having enough space to write the full title...

Card Information:
Held in: METRODOME
Location: MINNESOTA, UNITED STATES
Date/Time: 01/09/07 at 8:00pm
Matches/Interviews booked: 20
Arena Capacity: 10000
Attendance: 10000
A Sold Out Arena.
Ticket Buy Rate: 100%
TV ratings: 5.3%
Approximently Viewers: 15900000

As the opening credits subside, we go straight down to the ring where Matt
Hardy is standing with the sporadically seen owner of the DWF, Shane McMahon.

Hardy: "OK, let's get this over with. Jody Fleisch, get on out here and let's
set the guidelines for this damn show."

After a brief pause, Fleisch enters to a mixed reaction.

Hardy: "OK Fleisch, this is it, you've been begging for this for months, so
it's put up or shut up time."

Fleisch: "Cut the talk Hardy, let's just run over these guidelines already,
and let me start making matches."

Hardy: "Alright, listen carefully because if I know you like I think I do,
you'll be re-writing your entire card in just a moment. First of all, you
cannot book yourself, or myself, in any sort of match. That match you had set
up where you face Billy Kidman for the world title aint gonna be happening,
so forget it."

Fleisch: "I wasn't planning on wrestling tonight."

Hardy: "Good. And that match where you make me face four other guys at once,
that's no go as well."

Fleisch: "Tempting, but again, I hadn't planned it."

Hardy: "In fact NO handicap matches of any sort or any other unreasonable
matches just so you can get back at your enemies. No way. The sides must be
even in every encounter, you got that?"

Fleisch: "Yeah, I got you your highness."

Hardy: "And remember, your commissionership powers end the moment this show
goes off the air in two hours. Anything you want to do must be done and
announced by then, otherwise I'll scrap the idea faster than you could
imagine. I hope you're taking this all on board you little prick."

Fleisch: "Believe me, you've got a LOT to take on board tonight."

Hardy: "Good, I guess we've cleared everything that needs to..."

Shane: "Aren't you forgetting something Matt?"

Matt curls his lips up a little and turns frustratedly back to Fleisch.

Hardy: "Yeah yeah, I'm not allowed to overturn any of your decisions."

Fleisch beams at this one, again another mixed reaction from the crowd as
some seem to appreciate this rule.

Fleisch: "Am I glad to hear that. You know, I'm not going to book one of those
Matt Hardy snorefests you're so renowned for. Tonight, we're going to have FIVE
title matches. As a matter of fact, I'm going to have the cruiserweight title
on the line tonight, with Low Ki defending against the top three ranked
cruiserweights right now, Chavo Guerrero, Juventud Guerrera and Rey Mysterio,
one fall to a finish."

Hardy: "Interesting, I'll give you that, don't you think Low Ki won't like
that?"

Fleisch: "I'm sure he's competitive enough to take the match on rather than
avoiding the action like you tend to."

Hardy: "Bite me."

Fleisch: "But you know, there's another guy who's not been in any action as
of yet, and all week I've been pestered by people who want to see what one Ulf
Hermann can do, so you know what, I'm going to do what you wouldn't usually
have the guts to do Hardy, and I'm going to deliver what people want, and
Hermann will take on... oh, I don't know, Dynamite Kid!"

Hardy: "Sure, if you want Dynamite killed."

Fleisch: "Maybe, but this is pro wrestling, or have you forgotten? You're
irritating Hardy, but there's two men even more irritating than you Hardy. I
think it's about time that La Resistance got a little comeuppance when they
take on the Pitbulls."

A nice little ovation for that one.

Hardy: "Come on Fleisch, you're promising title matches here."

Fleisch: "Well Matt, you must be going blind. Why don't you look up?"

Everyone and the cameras duly look up to see a large structure hanging above
the ring.

Fleisch: "Matt, say hello to the DWFs second showing of the Elimination
Chamber!"

Matts eyes grow wide as the fans pop for that one.

Fleisch: "Right here tonight in this very ring, Billy Kidman will defend his
world heavyweight title against five other men whom I shall inform in person
as the night goes on."

Matt: "But someone could get hurt."

Fleisch: "This is pro wrestling and this is the Elimination Chamber, that's
the whole point. Now I'm ging to announce the other matches I've got planned
as we go along, but first would Psychoanalysis come out here."

Another brief pause follows before the reigning worlds tag team champions
Sean O'Haire and Brian Pillman make their entrance.

Fleisch: "You guys ready to fight?"

O'Haire: "Jody, we were born ready and we'll die ready. Whoever you've got to
face us will live an eternal nightmare."

Pillman: "We don't care who it is, if it's Kidman and Corinho, we don't care
if it's the Miracle Violence Connection, Pretty Perfect, Los Guerreros, we'll
take any team and strangle them with their own small intestine."

Fleisch: "Well in that case, would The Syndicate please come out here."

A big "ooooh" from the audience for that one as the reigning Intercontinental
Tag Team champions Lance Storm and Ken Shamrock make their entrance, both men
on a similar level of popularity as O'Haire and Pillman.

Fleisch: "You boys up for a title shot tonight?"

Storm: "Jody, we've been waiting a LONG time for this shot, so we're up for
it."

Fleisch: "Good, then Matt, Shane, you boys come with me, and let's let these
guys go at it."

Fleisch and Hardy leave the ring and the tag title match gets underway.

Psychoanalysis (c) vs The Syndicate (tag team champions)

Psychoanalysis and The Syndicate was, in tag team circles, something of a
dream match but despite both being fan favourites, neither team held anything
back and even resorted to the odd bit of rule breaking. After an impressive
match based in the ring, it spilled to the outside with Pillman and Lance
Storm the legal men. Pillman got the upper hand, lifting Storm up and dropping
him across the guardrail, but before he could re-enter the ring, he spied
Kidman and Corino out of the corner of his eye heading down the aisle. Pillman
stopped to mouth some threats to them and those few seconds he was distracted
cost him as the ref called for a double countout as opposed to the
Psychoanalysis victory we would surely have gotten. The fans weren't happy
with an indecisive finish like that, but even more unhappy will be Brian
Pillman with such an ending. Still, one hopes that we could see these two
teams go at it again down the line. *** 1/4

We go backstage to see Fleisch and Hardy watching on a monitor in the
commissioners office.

Fleisch: "Great match wouldn't you say?"

Hardy: "It was alright."

Fleisch: "Yeah, you WISH you'd thought of that matchup before."

At this point, a furious looking Billy Kidman, along with Steve Corino, barge
into the room, both with their respective belts in tow.

Kidman: "What the hell do you think you're playing at?"

Hardy: "He did it."

Kidman: "Yeah, we know. You better have a good explanation for this one
Fleisch."

Fleisch: "Simple - it'll be a great match. and hey, the people would love to
see you get killed in that environment."

Kidman: "Oh the lawsuit we're going to slap you with..."

Corino: "You better have me in this one too Fleisch, else you're going to be
sorry."

Fleisch: "Listen Corino, I don't take kindly to threats. You're not going to
be in the Chamber. As a matter of fact, if you're going to be like that, you're
going to be defending your television title tonight against SIX other men in
a pinfalls only battle royal, elimination rules. Masato Tanaka, Dean Malenko,
Owen Hart & Curt Hennig, Bobby Eaton and your buddy... John Cena..."

Corino: "You're too fucking much Fleisch."

Fleisch: "Yeah well you better go get ready, because by my watch, you've only
got an hour or so until you have to be out there, so quit bitching at me and
get warmed up, and next time you want something from me, don't ask right after
you just interfered in a match I made."

Corino and Kidman both seethe at Fleisch as they storm out.

Hardy: "Oh real smooth, piss off the talent, I like that."

Fleisch: "Something you don't have the guts to do Hardy."

The two continue bickering as we go back to the ring for our next match.

Dynamite Kid vs Ulf Hermann

Ulf Hermann had made an impression in the early stages of his DWF career after
some crushing beatdowns, but whether he was adept in the ring in a match
environment we got to find out and it was a tough a challenge as he could
have possibly wished for against Dynamite Kid. Dynamite hung well with his
far more powerful opponent, but Ulf showed he has the ability to hit one big
power move out of the blue to turn the tide at a moments notice. Dynamite had
a tough time of it, but things would take a turn for the worse after he missed
a dropkick and got his leg caught in the ropes, dangling upside down on the
outside. Hermann didn't let up and when Wright took the chance to join in the
beating and crack Dynamite with a steel chair, the ref had no choice but to
call for a DQ. Wright and Hermann continued beating on the helpless Dynamite
with kicks and punches until the officials were able to pull them away. The
damage though had been done. Meanwhile, despite the loss, an impressive first
showing for Ulf Hermann who is clearly going to be very dangerous opposition
in the future for all of the DWF. *** 1/4

We go backstage to Jody Fleisch, still with Matt Hardy, as they watch on.

Hardy: "Wow, Dynamite looks hurt. You realise, if it's bad, on your head be
it."

Fleisch: "He looks like he'll live. I'm gonna go grab a coffee."

Hardy: "Running away from your duties again?"

Fleisch: "Blow me jackass."

Before Fleisch can leave, an angry Eddie Guerrero storms in.

Eddie: "What is the meaning of this homie?"

Hardy: "I'll let you field this one Jody."

Eddie: "What is going on, you have a cruiserweight title match and the only
Guerrero you put in is that no good nephew of mine esa, what do you say to
that? Have you got a screw loose?"

Fleisch: "No Eddie I haven't. But you know, you're right, you're one of the
finest wrestlers this great company has ever seen, so I will put you into a
match."

Eddie: "The Elimination Chamber?"

Fleisch: "You wish. No, I think you'll be a fitting opponent for, oh, let's
say Chris Jericho."

Eddie: "Chris Jericho? What's that jerk ever done to deserve a shot against the
great Eddie Guerrero?"

Fleisch: "He showed up. Now go get ready, you'll be on in a bit."

Eddie: "Screw you man, you'll be sorry you messed with me esa."

Eddie storms out.

Hardy: "Man, you are REALLY irritating a lot of people tonight."

Fleisch: "Hey, you can't please everyone."

Fleisch walks out as we switch to see King Kanyon.

Kanyon: "Evening my royal subjects, I am here to interview the one man in the
DWF who comes close to ones regalness, that man is the American Blueblood,
Hunter Hearst-Helmsley."

Helmsley: "It's a pleasure as always your majesty. As a born again ladies man,
I of course have a beautiful escort with me for the evening."

On walks a local hooker he picked up to accompany him for the night.

Helmsley: "Say hello to my date for the evening, Crystal."

Kanyon: "Well with a name like that..."

Crystal: "Hey King, when are you going to pay me?"

Kanyon: "Uhhhhhhahahahahaha, his royal highness doesn't just hand out money to
his royal subjects and peasants."

Crystal: "But I thought I dominated..."

Kanyon: "Ahahaha, haven't you got some place to be?"

Helmsley: "Yes, toots, why don't you go back to my dressing room and prepare
some massage oil to rub my high quality shoulders with."

Helmsleys escort rolls her eyes and heads off.

Kanyon: "Now that you have gone back to your roots Mr. Helmsley, where do you
suppose this new found attitude will take you?"

Helmsley: "King, I am a former DWF champion, I have class, I have breeding and
I have an impecable sense of awareness around me both in and out of that ring,
and now I've returned to my roots and am willing to show that yes, I can be a
sensitive ladies man as well as a mans man, I can and WILL be a champion
again."

Kanyon: "This has been your sovereign, King Kanyon, reporting for the DWF."

We go back to Jody Fleisch, by a coffee machine. As he waits for his cup to be
poured, an arm belonging to an unseen owner leans up against the machine by
Fleisch' shoulder. Both Jody and the camera turn to see Jerry Lynn and Raven."

Lynn: "On a night where you present people with opportunities, with a chance to
fulfill their dreams, you need to ask yourself where The Cynosure of wrestling,
the man who has done more for this company than anyone, belongs on this night.
Tell me Jody Fleisch, what do you have for me?"

Raven: "And further more, I sit back, waiting to hear my name, but really, why
should I wait when I can come to the source itself."

Fleisch: "Guys, guys, if this is about the Elimination Chamber... then it goes
without saying that you'll BOTH be a part of that match. And best of luck to
you both."

Both Lynn and Raven grin evily as we head back to the ring.

Low Ki (c) vs Juventud Guerrera vs Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs Rey Mysterio Jr. (cruiserweight title)

The cruiserweight title match was, as expected, a high flying display of each
mans aerial skills. Each man was able to show off his skills, but in the end
it was a successful defense for Low Ki. Rey took both himself and Juvi out of
the equation with a big plancha to Guerrera on the outside. Chavo and Low Ki
briefly hooked it up, and when Chavo aimed a kick at Low Ki, Low Ki was able
to block it and reverse into the Ki Krusher for the victory. **** 1/4

We go backstage as Jody Fleisch re-enters his office, coffee in hand, only to
be greeted by Brian Pillman. Pillman grabs Fleisch by the collar and slams
him against the wall, causing him to drop his coffee.

Hardy: "Hey Jody, you got a visitor."

Pillman: "Tell me Fleisch, what the hell are you going to do about Kidman and
Corino interfering in my match?"

Fleisch struggles a little to speak.

Fleisch: "If you let me go, we'll talk."

Pillman relents and Fleisch regains his composure.

Fleisch: "What do you want me to do?"

Pillman: "I see you've got an Elimination Chamber tonight..."

Fleisch: "Brian, Brian, Brian, I can't give you a title shot like that, I sort
of banked on you being in that tag title match, I've already got my six guys
in mind."

Pillman: "This isn't about titles, this is about getting revenge on these two,
this is about me ripping their faces off and wearing their brains for a hat."

Fleisch: "There's an image... listen, if it's revenge you want, I agree, you
deserve something, so let's say we punish Steve Corino and make you challenger
number seven for his television title, and you can get all of him you want."

Pillman relents in his posture a little.

Pillman: "Alright, but let me ask you this, if Kidman loses the title tonight,
which is likely, then at Retribution..."

Fleisch: "Then at Retribution, you'd face Billy Kidman without the title being
on the line... but if Matts smart, he'll work something out when he's
commissioner again tomorrow."

Pillman grins wildly and turns to a nervous looking Matt Hardy.

Hardy: "Oh thanks, just dump everything on me, if you can't take the pressure
Jody, just say now and we can end this travesty of a show."

Fleisch: "I've done my work, you're going to have to be the one to decide what
happens with Pillman and the title."

Hardy: "Don't worry Brian, I'll think of something. Meanwhile, I think I'll
do what I can to save this crappy show and I'll announce who I've chosen to
face the champion at Retribution after the title match tonight. Boy Jody, it's
going to be a doozy."

Fleisch: "Care to divulge me now?"

Hardy: "You're going to have to wait just like everybody else, but when you
hear who I've got, you're going to WISH you could book stuff like that."

Fleisch smiles and shakes his head as we hit the ring where La Resistance
enter to a very negative reception. After giving us a quick rendition of the
French Tickler, they each grab a mic.

Dupree: "You know, we love America, and we want to prove this to you people,
but my feelings were very hurt this past week."

Grenier: "Yes, you see, we generously gave two of your American children our
prized berets on Monday, something they could hold dear and show their
grandchildren one day."

Dupree: "But sadly, we found one in the parking lot after the show, and the
other turned up on Wednesday on E-Bay."

Grenier: "It cost us seven of your American dollars to get it back, including
postage."

Dupree: "Granted, seven American dollars is not very much compared to our
more powerful Euro."

Grenier: "Not that we are judging America simply on the strength of their
currency, we are just saying it's not worth as much as the superior currencies
like the Euro..."

Dupree: "The Pound Sterling."

Grenier: "The Cypriot Pound."

Dupree: "The Maltese Lira."

Grenier: "But don't be unhappy, it's much more valuable than the Uruguayan
Peso."

Forget it, they've lost the crowd.

Dupree: "Don't boo, there's still a lot you can buy with an American dollar,
such as a string of garlic."

Grenier: "Yes, this garlic is healthy and good for you, not like a lot of
American food."

Dupree: "You know, with hamburgers and fast food, it's no wonder some of you
are so fat."

Grenier: "Hey, don't boo, we said SOME, not all, most of you look in good
shape, we just think some of you could do with healthy food like our French
garlic."

Dupree: "Absolutely, it's good for the heart and it makes your breath smell
great like ours."

Grenier: "And just to help out our little Resistancers, we're going to hand
out some free garlic."

Dupree and Grenier step out of the ring, pick out a couple of kids and hang
some garlic around their necks. They don't look impressed.

Dupree: "Hurrah, now we will be as popular as your continents Bret Hart, or
at least Phantasio."

Grenier: "Quick, let's truly win them over and give them the French Tickler."

As they poise themselves to do their dance, they are interrupted by the music
of the Pitbulls. The Pitbulls do not look in the mood for fun and games and
rush the ring as we get underway.

The Pitbulls vs La Resistance

La Resistance hadn't banked on facing The Pitbulls tonight and they were
obviously not in the mood for Dupree and Greniers antics. The Pitbulls made
short work of them, decimating the French representatives with stiff, hard
hitting double team moves. Dupree was double powerbombed, Grenier was given
a nasty looking double chokeslam, but it was while the ref tried to remove one
of the Pitbulls from the ring that Grenier was able to crawl over to the corner
and grab his French flag before jamming the pole into the back of the
remaining Pitbull who was covering Dupree. Dupree inched painfully back to his
feet and hit the French Riviera while Grenier held up the other Pitbull and
La Resistance got perhaps their biggest win to date. ***

We go backstage to Michael Cole.

Cole: "Alex Wright, Ulf Hermann, how can you two possibly justify your actions
out there?"

Wright: "Halt dein verdammtes Maul, und Passen Sie gut auf. Herr Cole, we can
do what we like. Dynamite Kid wants to toy with me, the erstaunlich Alex
Wright. He must learn that I have one rule - he who toys with me shall be
crushed, in der Absicht zu zerst"ren. Tonight was simply the start of things
to come. So if you dare, come to Retribution, we shall be waiting, verlierer."

We go back to ringside where Jody Fleisch is by the entrance curtain, mic in
hand, sitting on a ladder of all things.

Fleisch: "I've got one more match I want to make tonight, and it's one I've
been wanting to see for a long time. So would the Intercontinental Champion
Brad Armstrong get out here."

Armstrong answers the call, also with a mic in hand.

Brad: "Finally The Rock has come back to Minnesota. And let The Rock say this
jabroni, you will address the peoples champ and the peoples choice as The
Rock, because he is without a dobut the single most electrifying man in sports
entertainment today."

Fleisch: "Alright Rock, I want you to go down to the ring now, hand over your
title belt and get ready to fight because you're going to be defending your
intercontinental title in a ladder match."

Brad: "That's fine by The Rock, but the people don't want to see the Rock in
a match, they want to see The Rock tell the world what everyone wants to know,
and that is... what The Rock thinks about Global Warming. Well let The Rock
say this, as long as his heated swimming pool is at the right temperature and
as long as The Rocks chill cabinet keeps his alcohol lite beer nice and cool,
then he really couldn't give a damn if these jabronis insist on driving their
1970's gas guzzling pollutants, provided of course they don't get close to
The Rocks private limo."

Fleisch: "Right. Well, I hope you're ready for action because you'll be taking
on the man who many people think you cost the title you wear today and a man
who I know wants to get his hands on you and tear you limb from limb, so come
on down Devon Storm."

Armstrong raises an eyebrow in surprise as Devon Storm is brought out to a
nice reaction. Fleisch steps down from the ladder and the bell is rung to make
this one official.

"The Rock" Brad Armstrong (c) vs Devon Storm (intercontinental title, ladder match)

With the Intercontinental Title on the line, Devon Storm was out to finally
get revenge for months of abuse from "The Rock" Brad Armstrong, and the ladder
made for a perfect ally for Devon. Brad was hit with it from all angles, but
then so was Devon, receiving a Rock Bottom onto the ladder and then, still
lying on it, a Peoples Elbow from the self professed Peoples Champ. For Devon
though, it was all about revenge, and he happily took it to the outside,
where they took it to one another like men possessed. It was Devon who finally
got the upper hand, grabbing the ladder and smacking Brad in the jaw, sending
him sprawling onto the Portuguese announce table, out for the count. Devon
had it for the taking, and set the ladder back in the ring. The belt was there
to be one, but sensing one moment of glory, Devon turned from the top of the
ladder and dove off towards Brad in one spectacular moment. Sadly for Devon,
it was all for nought as Brad pulled himself out of the way. Devon crashed
through the table and then slowly but surely, Brad dragged himself into the
ring and inched his way up the ladder to retain the intercontinental title. ****

Backstage, Jody and Matt continue to watch the action on a monitor.

Matt: "Am I supposed to be impressed?"

Fleisch: "Am I supposed to sit back and let a ball-less commissioner not
settle feuds like this properly?"

Before Matt can respond, Kurt Angle walks in.

Angle: "You wanted to see me? I hope this has something to do with the
Elimination Chamber."

Fleisch: "Well maybe it does, maybe it doesn't."

Angle: "Look, I'm an American hero, I'm a great American legend, I don't want
to play your stupid British-scum-we-beat-you-in-the-American-Revolution-limey-
games, just tell me if I'm in or if I'm out."

Fleisch: "Didn't we beat you in the war of 1812?"

Angle: "Look, shut up you limey piece of crap, first of all, we kicked your
ass in New Orleans and won that war, now tell me once and for all, am I in
or am I out?"

York: "Actually the battle of New Orleans took place after the war had ended."

Matthews: "In fact, the battle in question didn't take place until the
following year, by which time the war was long over."

York: "Further more, American invasions during the war in 1813 and 1814 were
successfully repelled by British forces and the British continued to occupy
American territories at the end of the war whilst the Americans failed to
land themselves any British territories."

Matthews: "And that was sort of the whole point. Americans goal was to prevent
the British taking over any more territories and for them themselves to gain
power in Canada, the latter they quite categorically failed in, the former
at best they withstood British forces by and large."

York: "Though obviously they didn't prevent the White House being burned down.
At least America can take some consellation that economically, the war was
actually beneficial in the long run."

Hardy: "Wow, a history lesson, how about that? What are you guys doing here?"

Matthews: "We wanted to do... THIS!"

Matthews grabs Fleisch by the arm and drags him over to a table. York takes
Fleisch' hand and starts finger printing him.

Fleisch: "What the... what the bloody hell..."

Matthews: "We're taking your finger prints, we know you broke into that lab."

Angle: "Uhhh, guys..."

Matthews: "And we can prove it, whoever did it left their prints all over the
place."

York: "Yeah, once we take these back to our office, we'll have you nailed and
jailed."

Matthews: "Success, we have his prints, to HQ!"

The Young Lions bound away with their newly acquired evidence."

Fleisch: "Man, I've got ink all over my hands now."

Angle: "Cripes O'Reilly, will you just tell me already if I'm in the
Elimination Chamber or not."

Fleisch: "Yes Angle, you're in."

Angle: "Thank Abraham for that, I can finally go and prepare."

Fleisch: "OK, but just one word of warning, during the last match, I informed
Rob Van Dam he'd be in this thing as well."

Angle, who had started to leave the ring, freezes in his steps and turns
around with an aghast look on his face.

Angle: "Rob Van Dam?"

Fleisch: "That's right, so I hope you're ready."

Angle seethes and grits his teeth, looking highly frustrated.

Angle: "We still kicked your ass in 1776, bugger off kingy."

Angle storms out as we switch to Rob Van Dam in the locker rooms with Edge
and Christian.

Edge: "Wow Rob, what do you call this stuff."

RVD: "This is an RVD special, I roll up some of my regular weed, with just a
little ground tabasco."

Christian: "Woah, the room is spinning."

RVD: "I know, like, isn't that great. But I'm gonna need this dude if I'm to
survive the Elimination Chamber. You know, I know who the sixth guy is going
to be."

Christian: "Man, I don't care anymore... the swirly patterns..."

Edge: "I still care Rob, why don't you tell me."

RVD: "Well I would, but there's this weird guy standing there who I don't
recognise and I don't want him to know."

Christian: "I see three guys I don't recognise, there's the guy with the long
dark hair and the bendy body who's smoking something, there's the guy who
looks a bit like me, and there's that guy."

RVD: "Yeah, that last one."

Edge: "Dude, I think that's the cameraman."

RVD: "Woah, is that Ed Leslies new gimmick?"

Edge: "Possibly."

RVD: "That is, like, totally the coolest thing ever."

Edge: "Come on, tell me anyway, who's the other guy."

RVD: "Well, it's..."

Inevitably we cut away as it's time for the next match.

"Y2J" Chris Jericho vs Eddie Guerrero

Eddie Guerrero has been looking to garner a cruiserweight title shot for Los
Guerreros as of late, even though they haven't been on their best form as a
unit. Chris Jericho meanwhile has been steadily registering victories with
recent triumphs over Jeff Hardy and King Kanyon. Eddie is a different kettle of
fish though and can work just about any style. With the form advantage going
with Jericho, it was no surprise he had control for much of the much, but you
can never count out Eddie Guerrero as sneaky as he is. Eddie had managed to
stun Jericho with a hotshot and used the break to pull some sort of pipe out
of his boot. The ref quickly intervened and confiscated the weapon, allowing
Eddie to use the distraction to pull out a second pipe. Jericho had been
watching on though and ducked Eddies swing, then grabbed him by the legs from
behind and hooked him up in the Lion Tamer. Eddie could do nothing and had to
quickly tap. **** 1/4

We go backstage to Michael Cole.

Cole: "John Cena, in just a few moments, you join six other challengers for
Steve Corinos television title."

Cena: "Yeah, there are some tough challenges, but I've spent the evening
preparing carefully for this match. First of all, I took Steve Corinos car
key and out it on one of those really tight key rings that make it impossible
to remove the key again, then I had it welded to the wall, so the only way
Corino could get his key back would be to remove it from the ring and he'd
have to pick at it with his fingers for ages, to the extent where his fingers
would be really blistered."

Cole: "Well... that might work."

Cena: "I also put grease on Pretty Perfects locker room door handle and
slashed Dean Malenkos tyres. There aint no way that I'm leaving without the
gold tonight."

Cole: "John Cena, evil as ever."

We switch to see Jody Fleisch walking in the corridor backstage. Stopping at
a door, he knocks and it's opened by an unseen person.

"I've been expecting you."

The person behind the door mumbles, not allowing us to tell who the voice
belongs to.

Fleisch: "I'm sure you've been waiting for this for a long time. Matt Hardy
never had the grapefruits to give you the title shot that I know and you know
that you've earned. You know, people can say what they want about the manner
you won some of your matches, and maybe they're right, but a win's a win, and
you should have been put at the top of the ladder a long time ago. But no more
waiting, tonight, I pick YOU to be my fifth and final choice to challenge
Billy Kidman inside the Elimination Chamber. And good luck."

Fleisch nods at the unseen man and walks off. As he dissapears round a corner,
out steps a smug looking Larry Zbyszko, eagerly rubbing his hands as we go
back to Michael Cole.

Cole: "Steve Corino, in just a few moments, you step in the ring with seven
other men all out to take your title."

Corino: "I see, so it's not enough that Jody Fleisch has to throw me up
against six men, but he has to throw Brian Pillman in the mix as well, that
sick bastard wants to... what was it he said?"

Cole: "Strangle you with your own small intestine."

Corino: "God, what the hell is this world coming to when a twisted weirdo like
that is allowed to face me, a man of my old school distinctions. And John
Cena? Haven't me and Billy beaten this guy enough yet? And Bobby Eaton? Are
you kidding me, I spent MONTHS beating this guys brains in, has he even
recovered yet? This match is a joke, and as I stand here today, I'm telling
you, I can, nay, WILL retain MY television title."

Corino walks off, somewhat nervously, as we head to the ring.

Television title battle royal (pinfalls only): Steve Corino (c), "The Loose Cannon" Brian Pillman, "Unnecessarily Evil" John Cena, Owen Hart, Curt Hennig, Bobby Eaton, Masato Tanaka, Dean Malenko

The addition of Brian Pillman to the television title battle royal added a
whole new dimension and it was soon apparent that he just didn't care who he
hurt in there as he systematically took apart everyone at one point or another.
Shockingly though, it didn't last. Following a vicious looking DDT by Pillman
onto Curt Hennig, Steve Corino blasted him from behind with his cast and with
no DQ's in this one, it was enough for the pin. Pillman quickly came round and
was absolutely incensed. Grabbing the title belt, he waffled Corino with it
and made his exit. That was almost enough for John Cena to steal in and pin
Corino, but Clarence Mason at ringside saw the chance to pull Corinos foot onto
the ropes.

Things settled down again for a moment, but now it was Bobby Eatons time to
shine. The two time former television champion has a golden opportunity to
recapture his title, and he quickly impressed, rolling up another former
champion, Dean Malenko, after Malenko had been stomping away at his former tag
team partner Masato Tanaka, and Eaton got the three count. Sadly a lot had been
taken out of Tanaka. Having come so close this past Monday to becoming
champion, he was victim of another Corino cheapshot. Catching Tanaka in the
back with the cast, it was Owen Hart who caught Tanaka with a picture perfect
spinning heel kick to register the pin. What we were left with was Pretty
Perfect agreeing to side with Steve Corino in order to take out John Cena and
Bobby Eaton. Perhaps they, like many others, have forgotten that Cena and
Eaton were once not only tag team partners for a brief period but even held
the tag team championship for a short while, and the two clearly hadn't
forgotten how to work together. Corino was sent flying from the ring and the
tag team battle that ensued was won by Cena and Eaton, when Eaton cleared
Hennig from danger and Cena slammed Owen Hart with the Eighth Deadly Sin for
the pin. Quickly they focused their efforts on Curt Hennig, but had forgotten
about Steve Corino still lying around at ringside. Eaton headed up top for
the Alabama Jam, only for Corino to shove him off, sending Eaton crashing to
the mat. John Cena ducked outside to take it to Corino, but left Eaton at the
mercy of Curt Hennig who put Eaton away with the Perfect Plex.

So we were down to three and Hennig still seemed content to work with Corino
for the time being in order to get rid of Cena. Again it seemed to be working,
and the two actually made quite the effective unit, but Corino may well be
guilty of not paying enough attention. After Cena had been beaten thoroughly,
he turned to celebrate while Hennig set Cena up for the Perfect Plex. Behind
Corinos back, Cena countered to small package Hennig and get the pin. Hennig
was shocked, so was Corino when he realised what had happened, and Corino was
left in a one on one situation he REALLY didn't want to be in. Cena went to
work and dominated the champion, but one moment is all it took. Clarence Mason
jumped onto the apron and quick as a flash, Cena went over and decked him, but
it gave time for Corino to recover, run up to Cena and deliver the Old School
Expulsion and as has been well documented - NOBODY has ever gotten up from
that. Corino had somehow done it and retained his title. *****

As Steve Corino leaves, title in hand, John Cena gets a great ovation from the
fans for his efforts, as we head backstage to Jody Fleisch watching on.

Fleisch: "You guys have got to admit that what we just saw was a hell of a
match."

Shane: "That was impressive."

Hardy: "It was OK."

Fleisch: "OK? Are you out of your mind?"

At this point, in walk Phil LaFon and the returning Doug Furnas.

Fleisch: "Guys, guys, how are you doing?"

Furnas: "Shut up. You know full well I got doctors clearance before tonight,
we never lost our tag team titles after Wrestlefest."

LaFon: "Yeah, every reign we've ever had has been ended by injury, not by us
being pinned one-two-three."

Furnas: "Exactly. By rights, that makes US the number one contenders, we were
GUARENTEED a rematch for the title after we agreed to vacate them. As a matter
of fact, that was YOU Matt Hardy who made us that promise."

Hardy: "He's right, maybe you should have thought of that Jody."

Fleisch: "Oh I've thought about it. Guys, as far as I'm concerned, the fans
wanted to see Psychoanalysis and The Syndicate, the two most popular tag teams
in the DWF today, go at it on this special card. But don't think I've
forgotten about you. This Monday, you two will get your guarenteed rematch."

Hardy: "Wait a minute, you can't start making matches for other nights, that
wasn't patrt of the agreement."

Fleisch: "No, the agreement was that I'd take over ALL commissioner duties for
the duration of this show, you NEVER said that the matches I made were
restricted to tonight."

Shane: "He's right you know. Just let him make the match Matt."

Hardy: "But it's the principle..."

Shane: "Come on, it'll be a good match."

Hardy: "Fine, you've got your commissioner powers, you can make the match. I
was going to make it anyway."

Fleisch: "There we go. As a matter of fact, let's spice it up a little..."

Hardy: "Oh lord spare me."

Furnas: "What do you have in mind?"

Fleisch: "How do you fancy a two out of three falls match for the belts?"

Furnas: "Two out of three falls? Fine by me, if it means we get twice as much
glory when we recapture OUR tag team titles, so be it."

LaFon: "Come on Doug, we've got to get ready for this Monday."

Furnas and LaFon leave, while Jody looks contemplative, as we go to Michael
Cole.

Cole: "Billy Kidman, the hour has arrived, you versus five other men inside
the elimination chamber."

Kidman: "This is a joke Cole, I have called Clarence Mason, he is calling a
crack team of lawyers together, we are going to sue the DWF for every penny
they have if I get screwed out of the title tonight."

Cole: "So you're not confident?"

Kidman: "Confident? Confident? I can take these five guys any time I want, I
beat Raven for the title, I've taken Jerry Lynn and Rob Van Dam to the woodshed
before, I am more than qualified to win this one easy, butthe politics in the
DWF are conspiring against me. Come Monday Michael, you and the whole world
will know the fate of the DWF."

Kidman slings his belt over his shoulder and heads to the ring, perhaps for
the last time as champion.

ELIMINATON CHAMBER: Billy Kidman (c), Jerry Lynn, Raven, Rob Van Dam, Kurt Angle, Larry Zbyszko (world heavyweight title)

Larry Zbyszko was randomly selected as the first
entrant. Rob Van Dam was the second and the two engaged the first five
minutes with Van Dam using his speed and quick high flying moves to stay one
foot ahead. One of Larrys big victories of late came over Van Dam, so the
psychological edge was there, but without Coach at ringside tonight, the extra
help wasn't there.

After five minutes, neither men had scored a pin, and the first chamber was
opened - Ravens! Raven went right to work, peppering Larry with lefts and
rights, then getting a few shots in on RVD. Larry managed to briefly get a jump
on Raven at this point, but Van Dam was back with some quick kicks to
neutralise him. Van Dam quickly then headed on top of the nearest chamber for
an aerial attack. Unfortunately for him, he would have been best advised to
pick a different chamber. Before he could execute his move, the occupant of the
chamber below, Kurt Angle, reached through the steel chains and grabbed at Van
Dams ankle. RVD tried to get loose, all the while Larry had regained his
composure. Leaping to the top turnbuckle, he grabbed Van Dam and threw him off
the chamber with a huge armdrag, and it was enough to get the first pin of the
match.

Raven didn't waste any time now, taking it right to Larry, hitting him with
a couple of big suplexes that winded the veteran. Another five minutes had
expired and it was Billy Kidmans chamber that opened. The champion looked
genuinely shocked that his door had opened so early in the match and began
looking around, hoping there was some mistake. He turned to a referee standing
outside the chamber, which proved a costly error as Raven was able to nail him
with a dropkick from behind, causing Kidman to crack his face against the
chamber wall. Raven had control now as he set about trying to score some
revenge for his Wrestlefest defeat. As good as it got, Raven had forgotten
about Zbyszko. Zbyszko, ever the opportunist, bided his time and the struck
from behind when the best chance presented itself. It quickly became a two on
one beatdown until the timer expired once more and Jerry Lynn entered fifth.

Lynn began the fightback, slugging it out with both Kidman and Zbyszko at once
before lifting Kidman up and dropping him on the cold, hard steel. Zbyszko
dove in with a punch which Lynn ducked, before picking Larry up and drilling
him with the Cradle Piledriver which was enough for the pin.

Kidman was in trouble now as Lynn and Raven began stalking him methodically
around the confines of the chamber. Kidman even tried climbing the steel
chains that made up the wall of the structure, but there really was no escape.
After being slammed and dropped and suplexed onto the steel floor, he was
about ready to call it quits. As it happened, five more minutes had expired
and Kurt Angle was our final entrant. Angle would try to help out Kidman and
eliminate what had become the two big threats, Raven and Lynn. As it happened,
it wasn't too successful as Angle was the victim of a quick double team, being
flapjacked to the mat. Meanwhile Steve Corino had come to ringside to aid his
partner as best he could, and slipped Kidman a steel pipe through the bars.
Kidman caught Raven with a shot as he and Lynn turned round and Angle was able
to get enough senses to cradle Raven up and score the pin.

The ball was now in the champions court, but he still had both Jerry Lynn and
Kurt Angle to deal with. Angle and Lynn were now engaging in their own little
mini match while Kidman, busted open after one too many falls to the steel
floor, rested as best as he could. Angle and Lynn had some old bitterness to
settle from years ago when Lynn had gone as far as to shoot Angle. In the end,
we never got a decisive winner from those two as the wily Kidman stayed one
step ahead of the rest, jumping up behind Lynn and cradling up with a reverse
sunset for the pin.

Unfortunately for Kidman, the realisation that it had not gone as planned soon
struck home, as Lynn had sidestepped the reverse sunset attempt and Kidman had
instead caught Angle and pinned him. Suddenly Kidman knew that this meant being
alone inside the Elimination Chamber with Jerry Lynn. On to plan B though for
Kidman. As Angle was helped from the cage, Steve Corino pushed his way through
the officials and forced his way through the temporarily opened door. Now Lynn
had a fight on his hands, but took it right to Corino and the two slugged it
out. Kidman took the chance to nail Lynn from behind and Lynn was soon being
double teamed. Quickly, Corino hooked Lynn up as Kidman came in with a
clothesline, surprisingly enough it worked. Perhaps they should have counted
their blessings in that regard and quit while they were ahead, but they tried
the same move a second time and inevitably, Lynn slipped out of the way and
Kidman dropkicked (change in offence) Corino. Corino fell to the steel floor
outside the ropes, where Lynn grabbed him and hurled him into the door.

Corino was done and it was down to Lynn and Kidman. Kidman tried, but Lynn
was too quick for him now. Ducking a punch from Kidman, Lynn came back with
a flurry of his own shots. Kidman was shot of into the ropes and was able to
duck Lynns clothesline attempt but on the way back, Lynn caught Kidmans
momentum and threw him over the ropes, right into the steel. Kidman was a
beaten man, and Lynn pretty much sealed the deal by executing the Cradle
Piledriver outside of the ropes onto the steel. That was all she wrote. Lynn
dragged Kidmans lifeless body back into the ring and covered him for the
three and we have ourselves a brand new worlds champion. *****

As Jerry Lynn holds the title aloft triumphantly, and Kidman is helped out by
Steve Corino and a referee, a beaten man, Matt Hardy comes down to ringside
applauding. Reaching ringside, he grabs a mic.

Hardy: "Nicely done, very nicely done Jerry. You know, the DWF had some of
its greatest moments with you as the champion, and I think we may be in for a
great era all over again. But as promised, I have made plans as to who will be
challenging for the world title at Retribution, and now that you're the
champion, it makes the following announcement all the more apt. Ladies and
gentlemen, in three weeks time at Retribution, your main event will be Jerry
Lynn defending the newly won worlds heavyweight title against..."

Before he can finish his sentence, Jody Fleischs music hits up and the
temporary commissioner for a few more minutes makes his entrance and heads to
the ring. Standing by the entrance to the chamber, he already has a mic ready.

Fleisch: "Hold it Matt. Tonight wasn't just about putting on a great card and
crowning a great new champion, tonight was about quashing your years of dull
Matt Hardy style cards that nobody wants to see. Jerry has spent not just the
past two years since he first became champion but for the entire three years
that you've been commissioner carrying your damn show since he was the only
guy ever given a chance."

Hardy: "If you'll shut up for a minute, nobody cares about what you've got to
say, all everyone wants to hear is who this man will be facing at Retribution."

Jerry Lynn looks somewhat amused at the tennis match style bickering between
these two.

Fleisch: "Great, you've probably got another one of your boring ass backwards
main events that nobody will really want to see."

Hardy: "Well why don't you listen and find out. At Retribution, Jerry Lynn will
go one on one with..."

Fleisch: "CLAM UP! You're not the commissioner right now, I am. And that little
conversation we just had backstage where Shane McMahon gave me the right to
book whatever the hell I want, WHENEVER I want, providing I stick to your
guidelines, and I don't care about who YOU want to face Jerry Lynn, because
if I want to, I can pick someone right now to face Lynn and there's not a damn
thing you'll be able to do about it, because we both signed a contract that
states you can't overturn ANYTHING I decide."

Hardy: "Jerry Lynn will be going to Retribution to face..."

Fleisch: "SHUT THE HELL UP!! I've spent the evening goading you, saying that
you haven't had the guts to book what I have, but FUCK THAT Hardy, what I'm
about to say is something that we all KNOW you haven't had the guts to do, and
have been avoiding for the past year and a half."

Hardy: "At Retribution, Jerry Lynn will square off against..."

Hardy is beginning to quiver, looking a little nervous, perhaps he knows where
this is heading.

Fleisch: "Matt, at Retribution, Jerry Lynn will be defending the heavyweight
championship of the world, one on one, with... THE MAGNIFICENT DON MURACO!"

That one gets a surprisingly BIG pop from the crowd. Jerry Lynn looks at
Fleisch with a look of intrigue and interest. Hardy meanwhile has his arms
around his head in dismay, knowing what he has tried to avoid for the past
eighteen months is finally a reality as Muraco will be challenging for the
world title. Meanwhile Fleisch simply smiles arrogantly as the show goes off air.
Snabbit888Posted on 01/02/05 at 19:50:08

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before I feedback, just wanted to let you know that you have the final paragraph of the Elimination Chamber writeup as the first paragraph of the TV Title battle royal.  I was really confused there for a bit. :)

This was a fantastic show.  La Resistance get the big win they need, and the interactions between Flesich and Hardy were golden all night.  The Young Lions history lesson, followed by the fingerprinting raid was brilliant.  I smiled a deep smile, I did.

I would think Pillman is upset about not getting a title match with Kidman at Retribution, but hell, he seems so out of sorts, that I think he just wants to rip Kidman's head off.  You've done a great job of building Pillman as a legit threat quickly.

JERRY LYNN NEW CHAMPION!  I certainly was not expecting that.  And the setup for Lynn vs. Muraco was nicely done.  I sense Muraco becoming the new champion, and a dominant one at that.
91Posted on 01/02/05 at 20:11:55

Whoops. When I write up all the match incidents, I do it in order of the biggest matches (natch), starting with the Elimination Chamber, then the TV title match. So when I wanted to copy and paste the TV title results, I scrolled down and saw a paragraph beginning "Corino" and rather sloppily didn't bother examining more closely. Oh well, duly edited.