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FORUM HOME > TNM Circuits > TNMWA
TNMWA Showcase (10/14/07)
| King Munshun | Posted on 10/15/07 at 06:17:03 Click. The buzz of white noise. The flickering dance of snow on the television set. Suddenly, a disclaimer fills the screen: The program you are about to witness is not, under any circumstances, to be emulated. Attempting to recreate the actions of your favorite TNMWA stars will only lead to injury, scorn from your peers, and a possible Darwin Award. PLEASE, do NOT try this at home. The warning fades, giving way to an interior shot of the riotous, sold-out crowd, rabidly awaiting the return of the TNM Wrestling Alliance. ...Okay, 'riotous' may have been a bit of an overstatement. And 'sold-out'? Well, that was just a flat out lie. And they weren't so much 'rabidly awaiting' as they were 'apathetically drinking beers and stunting their growth with cotton candy'. The TNMWA's unauspicious revival begins here, in the gymnasium of the Franklin Perry Ross High School. The camera pans over the sea (read: not sea) of people who turned out, before finally settling at ringside and the commentary desk. ...Only it isn't so much a "commentary desk" as a "big cardboard box with 'TNMWA' written on it in magic marker'." Two men sit behind it on folding chairs, and once the camera has finished its pushin on them, they introduce themselves. Larry "The Crunch Man" Mallone: Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the return of the TNM Wrestling Alliance! I am Larry "The Crunch Man" Mallone, and as per the requirements of my public service verdict, I am here to provide commentary completely free of charge! To my immediate right is my broadcast partner for the evening, the quarterback for the Franklin Perry Ross Whatchamacallems, Barry Dabinski! B.D.: Thanks, Larry, and might I say it's great to be here, witnessing first hand the rebirth of a legend! Mallone: You could say that, but it would be a complete and utter fabrication, considering how the place doesn't even have enough money to provide us with a god[beep]n commentary desk! B.D.: While it's true the new TNMWA doesn't have the, uh, 'sponsorship' the old iterations did, this one has something else altogether! Mallone: ...What's that? B.D.: Spunk. An uncomfortable silence from Mallone. B.D.: ...What? Mallone: Is... this a gay thing? B.D.: ...No? Mallone: Just checking. Well, hey, enough of this pretending we're actually happy to be here crap, let's get right to the, ahem... action! "The Insanity" Brent Sanders vs Rebel INS - The fans were solidly against The Insanity in this match - Rebel catches Brent off guard immediately, landing the Shining Wizard out of nowhere and putting The Insanity on the defensive. - Rebel remains in control, getting the first near fall of the match around the 2:20 mark. - After three minutes and thirty-eight seconds, Rebel reverses a bodyslam attempt into a small package and getting another two count. Brent looks to be growing frustrated. - After Rebel tosses Brent over the top rope, Brent manages to hang on and get his legs around Rebel's head. A brief struggle ensued, with Rebel ending up on the outside and buying Brent a few seconds to recover. It's not enough, as Rebel INS hits the ring like a force of nature and nearly takes Brent's head off with the Shining Wizard to end the match at seven and a half minutes. RebelINS pinned Brent Sanders with the Shining Wizard in 0:07:26. Rating: * 3/4 B.D.: An excellent effort put on by both men! What a way to kick off the new era of the TNMWA! Mallone: Are you kidding, or just drunk? Is that helmet you have to wear cutting off the circulation to your brain during practice? Or did you happen to miss the idiot sitting right behind me who was shouting "BORING" for the entire thing? Guy Behind Mallone: YOU SUCK, CRUNCH MAN! Apparently having enough of this abuse, Mallone dives over the crowd divider and assaults the man. Considering how TNMWA officials skimped on security in favor of frivolous things like "a ring" and "cab fare," Mallone's assault goes uninterrupted. B.D.: Uhm... wow, that looks... Uh, anyway, there's no stopping now! Onto the next contest! The Great Mamushi vs Jake - At the start of the match, The Great Mamushi calls out for his specially picked referee for this contest. None other than diabetic spokesman Wilford Brimley appears and heads for the ring, brushing dried oatmeal from his beard as he comes. - The contest begins, and finds Jake with an almost immediate advantage over Mamushi, regardless of his special ref, who seems more interested in pitching diabetic products to fans at ringside than officiating the match. Jake makes two pin attempts, both of which ending before Wilford's palsied hands can touch the match for the second time. - In the middle of the contest, Jake bends over, pats his ass, and invites Victoria to "shoot his ham." Wilford Brimley looks suitably disgusted. - The tide of battle changes in Mamushi's favor after the best thing since fried sushi manages to land an Ode to Muta, taking Jake down to the mat in a confused disarray of bodyparts. - After a failed armbar attempt by Jake, the two competitors resort to more basic tactics and start slugging and kicking away at each other. Wilford Brimley ponders over whether or not they might settle their differences over a hot bowl of Quaker Oat Bran. - After a few minutes of exchanged chops, attempts a swinging neckbreaker, but the effort is countered by Jake into a side suplex. Jake presses his advantage, lifting Mamushi up for an electric chair drop, but Great Mamushi manages to slip from his grasp, falling to the mat and taking Jake down with him in a victory roll. Wilford falls to the mat, or perhaps collapses into diabetic seizure, and his thrashings lead to a three count victory for the Sushi Master. Match with Special Referee Wilford Brimley Mamushi pinned Jake after a Victory Roll in 0:05:05. Rating: ** B.D.: Not that I'm agreeing with my erstwhile colleague, I have to wonder... We can't afford a regular, albeit flimsily constructed, commentary desk or, y'know, two cameras... How the hell did we snag Wilford f[beep]ing Brimley?! Mallone climbs back over the divider, his hands caked with blood, carrying a stolen cup of beer. Mallone: That'll teach ya to mouth off to the seven time ICWF champion! Punk kids. B.D.: Feeling any better, Larry? Mallone: I will be in a minute! Mallone proceeds to engage in a favorite American past time, and guzzles the beer in a few draughts. Once finished, he tosses the empty cup over his shoulder and belches. B.D. looks thoroughly disgusted with the whole display. Mallone: Now I'm better. Hey, did I just see Wilford Brimley? B.D.: Apparently. He helped the Great Mamushi in his match against Jake. Mallone: Didn't look like he was "helping" so much as "dying from lack of insulin." B.D.: You're not wrong. Interview with The Hero of The Forums, King Munshun "The Hand That Feeds" by Nine Inch Nails begins to play over the gymnasium sound system (or, more appropriately, the cheap Sony boombox that serves as the gymnasium sound system), heralding the appearance of the most arrogant man on the TNMWA roster, the self proclaimed King Munshun. Resplendent in a leather Harley Davidson jacket, a t-shirt that proclaims "I Am The Way", a faded pair of blue jeans, a set of engineer boots that have seen better days, and a black crown with a large M and obviously fake jewels cocked lazily to the side on his head, the King approaches the ring with microphone in hand. He appraises the modest (read: poor) crowd in attendance, undoubtedly viewing them as his subjects, for a few brief moments before beginning to speak. King Munshun: I just want to be clear about one thing... I hate each and every one of you. Little to no reaction from the crowd aside from a few faint boos from the few members still sober enough to care. Despite this, the King manages to look as if he is suddenly under a torrent of boos and hatred from a Madison Square Garden sized crowd. King Munshun: Now that the pleasantries are aside, I can cut down to the bone. The so called "challengers" of the TNMWA offend me to the very core of my being, and that is the precise reason why I decided to make an appearance when the trash was a suitable distance away... namely in the locker room. I have one thing to say, and I shall make it brief, so as not to strain your plebeian attention spans any further. After all, I know what I'm working with here. The King clears his throat, adjusts his crown, and rests one hand on the lapel of his jacket. King Munshun: I wish to address our present 'champion', and obviously I use the term only in jest, because that tomcat is many things - flea-ridden, no doubt - but most assuredly NOT championship material. There is only one man in this organization that truly deserves the spotlight that title will bring... once it's been deloused... and, in case I lost you along the way, that would be me. So, rather than waste any more of my oh so precious time wondering how that scoundrel managed to abscond with something that quite obviously belongs to me, I will instead issue a direct challenge to our illustrious furball champion, preferably for next week, but I am magnanimous enough to allow him to defend the title at his earliest possible convenience. Now then, I-- Before the blowhard can continue any further, his attention is suddenly drawn to the two police officers flanking him on either side in the ring. He smiles, sure that there is some sort of mistake, and questions the men sworn to serve and protect as to their appearance during "his" part of the show. They tell him, in no uncertain terms, that he us under arrest, and would he mind terribly to put his hands behind him. The King, to his credit, responds in no uncertain terms of his own... King Munshun: ...You have got to be %#&@ING KIDDING ME!! The officers are, in fact, not, and a brief struggle ensues. 'Brief' because as soon as the King puts up token resistance, he is immediately given a strong dose of pepper spray to the optics, which sends the Forum Hero down to the mat, howling in agony. The fans still conscious enough to care give a few hoots and applaud as the King is led from the gymnasium in handcuffs. B.D.: What a disrespectful display from the so called Hero of the Forums! Mallone: What's a forum? B.D.: Uh, er... it's a... Y'know... Mallone: Nevermind. Anyway, what's disrespectful are those two panhead deadbeats laying hands on the King! What that man said was true, he's the only person in my book worthy to hold the title! B.D.: The Forum Championship. Mallone: Right, that thing. B.D.: Despite the fact he's yet to have an actual match? And, if things turn out the way they looked like they would, probably won't be up for active competition for six to eight months? Mallone: Minor details, Barry. Minor details. Hey, I wonder if I can snag another beer? B.D.: In any event, the true Forum Champion is about to make his triumphant return! Mallone: Pfft, "true". What makes him any more of a champion than the King? B.D.: I don't know, how about the fact he actually defeated someone for the right to hold the belt? Mallone: Boy you're really anal retentive for someone whose main occupation is pitching a pigskin around. TNMWA Forum Championship Match "The White Tiger" Zedja(c) vs Unright - Not showing a bit of rust from his long time off, the White Tiger gives Unright an immediate example of why he is still the Forum Champion. Unright is bodyslammed to the mat, stands back up, and is yanked off his feet again mere seconds later by a spinning headscissors attack from the Tiger. Unright, seeing things are quickly falling out of his favor, attempts to plead with Zedja to give him a chance to catch his wits, but the Champion hears none of it. Unright is locked into a fujiwara armbar that takes him a few seconds to escape from, before he is sent sprinting into the ropes. He returns with a kick to Zedja's midsection that unbalances the champ, giving Unright a few moments to land some key blows on his adversary, attempting to regain his lost momentum... while still taking the time to take a leak on the ringpost, for reasons unknown. - A minute into the contest, and Unright has the White Tiger at his mercy, locking the champion into a camel clutch that Zedja just barely manages to escape. Unright presses his newfound advantage further, chopping and clotheslining and elbowing his opponent without mercy. Unfortunately for Unright, a missed clothesline gives Zedja all the opportunity he needs to swing things back into his favor, slamming Unright to the mat with his White Tiger Suplex. Unright escapes before the threecount by the skin of his teeth alone. - Furious by this turn of events, Unright vents some of his frustration by sending the champ over the top rope to the outside, but Zedja manages to snag the rope on his way over and holds on for dear life. Unright, his attention diverted to another episode of bladder incontinence on another of the cheaply constructed ring's turnbuckles, is unaware that Zedja has pulled himself back into the ring, so once his fly is firmly zipped back up, Unright is slammed face first into the mat with an armbar take down, and is neck is quickly encircled by Zedja's massive forearms, locking the challenger in a sleeperhold that seems almost impossible to escape from... but escape Unright does, and once more pleads for mercy. The White Tiger, of course, shows none. - Zedja unleashes with a flurry of kicks and punches into Unright's upturned face, and the outcome of the match seems to be a foregone conclusion, only five minutes in. Zedja underestimates his opponent, however, and suddenly finds himself suspended above the ring in an airplane spin. Zedja struggles valiantly to escape from the hold (and to retain his lunch), and eventually Unright complies, unceremoniously dropping the champ to the mat. The damage having been done, Unright goes to work on his fallen foe, stomping and kicking the White Tiger while he's down. - After having been caught rebounding off the ropes in Zedja's forearms, Unright narrowly escapes a belly-to-belly suplex attempt with a low blow that seems to deflate the Champion. A struggle ensues, with Zedja escaping to the outside to catch his breath, and inspect his wounded manhood. - The Champion returns to the ring moments later, this time with a chair. While the ref busies himself cleaning up the puddles of pee, and Unright busies himself... well, laughing at him, Zedja sets up a chair, springs off of it, and nearly decapitates Unright with high flying enzuigiri. The two combatants fall to the mat and entangle themselves in a mass of furious fists and stiff kicks that the part-time referee/part-time janitor is helpless to break up. - Once the two competitors have finally been peeled apart, Unright shakens the White Tiger's foundation further, drilling the champion into the ground with a spear that seems to take every bit of fight out of the champ. Unright stands, poses for the crowd, and then drops an elbow across the bridge of Zedja's nose that seals the champ's ultimate fate. His long reign as Forum Champion has come to an unmerciful end. Unright pinned Zedja with the the POWER OF GREYSKULL in 0:06:18. Rating: ** (Unright won the TNMWA Forum Title.) B.D.: What an amazing upset! I cannot believe it, but the champion has been dethroned! Mallone: What's to disbelieve, Barry? That cat just couldn't keep up after all those months off. B.D.: I don't think that was the case at all, Larry. I think the White Tiger put up an amazing display here tonight, and has shown everyone he remained in remarkable physical condition during the TNMWA's absence. Mallone: And yet he still came out the loser. Tsk, thems the breaks. Anyway, I don't think foreigners should be allowed to hold the illustrious - and American - Forum Championship. B.D.: As much as I hate to end on that bout of unprovoked racism, I'm afraid I must call it a night. Thank you folks for tuning in, the TNMWA is proud to be back, and will see you next time! Mallone: Hopefully with some actual furniture! Before the TNMWA's revival broadcast can come to its own end, a camera picks up a scene outside in the gym's parking lot, where a still partially blinded and crownless King Munshun is being led to his chariot, this one complete with flashing red and blue lights. Insulting the parentage of each of his captors along the way, the King's is brought up short just before being manhandled into the vehicle. From behind the cop car walks a frightened looking little girl, clutching a teddybear in both of her cherubic fists. King Munshun: Just what is the meaning of this?! Officer: This him? The little girl nods. Girl: Yes, that's him... Th-that's the man who touched me. King Munshun: WH-WHAT?! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!! You lying little trollop! I'll sue you and the inbred heathens what spawned you into the poor house! And then I'll sue the poor house! I'll-- "Yo! King!" King Munshun: Neh?? Suddenly, the King's lost crown comes flying from off screen. A dull WHAP is heard, and the King is thrown back in the grip of the officers, blood spinning from his split forehead, yelling out curses to all his enemies. Following this display, the King is shoved into the back seat of the police cruiser, his head getting another sound whollop on the roof along the way. The car speeds off, leaving the little girl standing along in the parking lot. After a brief moment, she is approached by someone at the cameras edge. The frame pans up to get a good look at the newcomer's face. Jake: Okay, kid, nice job. Here's the five bucks and candy I promised you. Girl: All right! Hey, mistah? Can I ask you a question? Jake: Sure. Girl: Why do you smell like Juicy Fruit? Jake: Er, that... Uh, HEY! LOOK OVER THERE! IT'S FREAKIN BARNEY! Girl: What? WHERE?! Jake flees into the night. The camera focuses in on the little girl's clueless expression as the revival broadcast of the TNMWA comes to an end. |
| mamushi | Posted on 10/15/07 at 06:23:22 *tears up* *starts a slow clap* No words... should've sent a poet... |
| King Munshun | Posted on 10/15/07 at 08:00:07 So, there it is, the first show. Uhm... Apologies to those upset with the new layout of the card, or the handling of the fed in general. I'd said I wanted to take it in a "different direction" and, well... To those who actually enjoyed it, A. what's wrong with you and B. thanks very much. Tentative Schedule for 10/28/07 PORN STORE BRAWL King Munshun vs Jake Special Ref: Pedo Bear And the debut of PULSAR! If anyone has any challenges or interviews they'd like to include for the show, you can send them to me either in a message here on the board, or to my e-mail at NOSHRAGAL (AT) GMAIL.COM |
| Zedja | Posted on 10/15/07 at 08:46:51 *puffs and wheeses and stands almost keeled over holding his groin* Unright, resorting to cheating to win my title now that TNMWA has restarted is the chicken way to do things. You knew you couldn't beat me otherwise. Just know that I have a rematch clause in my contract. But to be fair I will let you pick what kind of match it will be. OOC: I'm sort of glad I lost since now I can go on vacation for three weeks without destroying the title. Nice work Munshun. |
| King Munshun | Posted on 10/15/07 at 11:56:23On 10/15/07 at 08:46:51, Zedja wrote:OOC: I'm sort of glad I lost since now I can go on vacation for three weeks without destroying the title. Nice work Munshun.I AM sorry about that, but I did not book any matches on the show, and that's just how it came out. I'll leave it up to you how you want to pursue it before your trip. If you'd like Zedja to go inactive until you get back, that would work for me. |
| Jake | Posted on 10/15/07 at 17:42:41 ABOUT FUCKING TIME! |
| Zedja | Posted on 10/16/07 at 16:41:04On 10/15/07 at 11:56:23, King Munshun wrote:I meant exactly what I said. GOOD work. No sarcasm involved :D And if you make another card before I leave I want a championship match. Otherwise just take me out in the back and give me a rest. HEY EVERYBODY I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO ROLEPLAY THIS LIKE LAST TIME!! |
| mamushi | Posted on 10/16/07 at 17:14:11 Stick THAT in your sushi and roll it Jake! With Wilford Brimley's well timed diabetic seizures at my side I'm unstoppable. In fact, I defy anyone in the TNMWA to challenge me. "The Greatest Thing Since Fried Sushi" The Great Mamushi will take on anyone in singles action. |
| rebelins | Posted on 10/16/07 at 17:40:30 The ring rust was hard to wear off but it's nice to be back in TNMWA. Hopefully the myriad of fans that followed me before will come back in droves. Although by the looks of the crowd tonight and Wilford Brimley being the star guest referee things may not be looking up for me or TNMWA. Oh well, atleast I don't have die-ah-b-tas. |
| Stun Cold Jake Awesome | Posted on 10/16/07 at 18:24:55 mamushi! Your underhanded tactics and "special needs" referee may have won you the match, but I'm here to demand a rematch! Anytime, anywhere! Well, except for the next card, since I have a match with Munshun. But after that... Well, if I beat him, he'll probably want a rematch. And then, we'll probably have a few more rematches. Probably some stupid gimmick matches too. Anal lube in a cell match. Wargames. First person NOT to get arrested LOSES match. Extreme Rules match. Match-on-a-match match. 2 out of 3 falls flaming homos match. Redhead-I-can't-have-because-she's-married-and-pregnant on a pole match. I get the feeling "King" Munshun isn't the type of guy to just let something go. We'll probably be feuding for the next few months. You know what, why don't you give me your number? I'll call you when my schedule opens up.. |
| MGDukester | Posted on 10/16/07 at 19:09:52 <Brent Sanders speaks to the camera with frustration in his voice> RebelINS, You got lucky this past week. I will give you an 'E' for effort, but I will not underestimate you when we face off again. <Goes from a frustrated rage to a calm smiling face> I don't take it personally as you should not. Just know that you are the first step in my path to the TNMWA championship and you will not stay in my way for long. Soon, you will be gone and I will be on my way to glory and gold. Just remember to watch over your shoulder until next we meet... |
| Unright | Posted on 10/17/07 at 02:53:50 Sweet. TNMWA is back and in great hands. Excellent first show Munshun. I laughed, I cried, I got thirsty.. Truly everything that I could hope for. Not only that, but I am the first champion of the Munshun Era! And let me go on record as saying that I agree with Munshun: Zedja was not championship material, he was just a flea-bitten mangy ol' toothless housecat who needed to be put down for good. Now that I am champion, finally this pitiful league has someone with drawing power. Finally we will be able to get sponsors who will give us money so we can afford things like doors on the bathroom stalls, some catering that doesn't consist of moldy sandwiches stolen from forgotten vending machines, and slightly better class washed-up has been celebrities. Yes, things will be different under my reign. Better. More, dare I say it... Ortonesque. [open to challenges] |
| mamushi | Posted on 10/17/07 at 03:00:27 Wilford Brimley: I'd like to take a moment to talk to you all about die-eh... Mamushi: Not now Brimley! We've got business to attend to. Unright sends out an open challenge. I put out an open challenge. Zedja wants a re-match. So I've got a great idea: 3-way elimination match. Me and the the Brim are going to bring a beating more powerful than the Ewoks did in "Ewoks: The Battle For Endor" starring my right hand man Wilford, DVD available at your local best buy retailer. And about the same number of people will see it! |
| King Munshun | Posted on 10/17/07 at 10:49:30 Your request has been heard... and granted! *UPDATED* Tentative Schedule for 10/28/07 PORN STORE BRAWL King Munshun vs Jake Special Ref: Pedo Bear TNMWA Forum Championship Three Way Elimination Match Unright(c) vs Zedja vs The Great Mamushi Special Ref: Wilford Brimley And the debut of PULSAR! |
| Zedja | Posted on 10/18/07 at 07:25:57 OOC: Oh oh. I do crappy work in elimination matches. Oh well. Good excuse to get me disabled for a few weeks. I'm not away until Nov 1st though. IC: A three-way. I've beaten you both in the past. I beat Unright to win the title and I beat Mamushi for his spot to be the first champion. I did it then, I can do it now. |
| King Munshun | Posted on 10/18/07 at 08:38:28On 10/18/07 at 07:25:57, Zedja wrote:OOC: Oh oh. I do crappy work in elimination matches. Oh well. Good excuse to get me disabled for a few weeks. I'm not away until Nov 1st though.So you definitely want to be out after this show? And, how long will you be gone, so i know how long to set up the injury for? |
| Unright | Posted on 10/18/07 at 09:18:34 Just kayfabe it until he gets back. I don't think you need to add it into TNM unless you really need to be reminded not to book Zedja. ::) |
| King Munshun | Posted on 10/18/07 at 09:22:08On 10/18/07 at 09:18:34, Unright wrote:Just kayfabe it until he gets back. I don't think you need to add it into TNM unless you really need to be reminded not to book Zedja. ::)Sorry, what I meant to say was "When do I job Unright to you?" :-p |
| Stun Cold Jake Awesome | Posted on 10/18/07 at 09:53:36On 10/18/07 at 09:18:34, Unright wrote:Just kayfabe it until he gets back. I don't think you need to add it into TNM unless you really need to be reminded not to book Zedja. ::)READING YOUR POSTS MAKES ME MISS ANUBIS EVEN MORE. |
| mamushi | Posted on 10/18/07 at 12:47:48On 10/18/07 at 07:25:57, Zedja wrote:A three-way. I've beaten you both in the past. I beat Unright to win the title and I beat Mamushi for his spot to be the first champion. I did it then, I can do it now.haHA! But that was now and this is then... strike that... reverse it. Now you see I wield the unholy power of DIE-UH-BEE-TUS! Bwa ha ha ha ha! |
| Unright | Posted on 10/18/07 at 19:19:11On 10/18/07 at 09:53:36, Stun Cold Jake Awesome wrote:READING YOUR POSTS MAKES ME MISS ANUBIS EVEN MORE.uh.. Great. You can be Miss Anubis all you want, really... |
| Zedja | Posted on 10/18/07 at 20:10:12 OOC: I will be gone for 3 weeks without internet. |
| mamushi | Posted on 10/18/07 at 21:10:22On 10/18/07 at 19:19:11, Unright wrote:Jake officially has a new name. |